Seeing through different eyes
by Caazzie
Summary: Full summary inside. R&R Might be some lemons and swearings in later chapters
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** Takes place a few months after the end of the Host.  
_A raid goes all wrong, and Wanda is taken away from the persons she loves the most.  
She sees Ian fighting, and there is nothing she can do to help him.  
Only one more thing to do, only one thing she can do.  
She can't let the Seekers find the caves, the humans she loves.  
Ian will fight, he is as strong as Melanie was. The soul who would be in his body wouldn't get any imformation.  
She knows that as she takes the small pill, and the darkness sorrounds her._

_The story is written in Wanda's POV_

**Disclamier:** _I do now own The Host, Stephenie Meyer does. She own everything, exept my twist to the wonderful story and beautful characters she has created. _

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"Just this one last store, and then we're going back home," I said, looking out the window, at the darkness. But there was nothing that held my eyes, so I turned and looked at Ian.  
Ian, Mel, Jared and I were on a short raid this time, not needing to pick up too much food. That was good, it always felt safer to be in the caves, sorrounded by people I love, and who love me back.  
Ian stopped the car, and was ready to change seat with me. But I felt lucky today, and I didn't really think of being cautious, exited to be home soon.  
"I feel like walking, it's just a short walk," I said, as I climbed out the door. I had been sitting still for a little more than an hour, and I was longing to move my legs.  
Of course Ian voltonteered to walk with me, and we left Jared and Mel behind in the van.  
If it would have been day out, you could see the van from the store, so it wasn't a long walk at all.  
Ian took my hand as soon as we were out, and I squeezed it, wanting the warmth of them closer.  
We didn't say anything as we walked, not needing to. And the silence was comfortable. The way silience is always comfortable between the two of us. We don't need to say anything, we know what the other wants just by looking at each other.  
I stopped outside the store, turning to look at Ian. I could barely see the blue in his eyes in the darkness.  
"I'll be real fast. You want something?"  
He shook his head, and gave me a kiss like he always does before I walk into a store. My head started spinning a little, like it always does when I'm kissing Ian. It's spinning in a good way, though, and I love the fact that he does this to me. I leaned back after a few seconds, and our lips seperated. I looked into his eyes for a short moment before I turned and walked into the store. I was hurrying, wanting to get back to Ian as fast as possible. I got the food and supplies we needed, and walked out after only a few minutes, maybe five.  
I had been lucky, this time no one wanted to talk to me, because I was alone in the store.  
The shop assistant had said a few words, a question, but it was easy to answer. Like I always do.  
I expected to see Ian right outside, but I didn't. That was weird, he always waited for me right outside. Where was he? Had he gone back to the car? I didn't have to think long before my whole body froze to ice, and I couldn't move.

"Never thought I would find a human this close to a city. But damn, his strong," I heard a man saying.  
I heard someone answer him, but I couldn't make out the words. This could only mean one thing. Seekers. And they found Ian. I turned in the direction of the voices, and there I saw them.  
Three Seekers, two men in the size of Jared and Kyle had Ian in a grip, fighting him.  
And another Seeker, the third one, was a woman. She tried to give him something, probably Sleep, and she succeded. Right before Ian's body relaxed, and fell to he ground, he saw me.  
His face was twisted with rage, sorrow, love and pain. Rage for the Seekers, but the sorrow, love and pain was all for me. And I felt the same way, like my heart had been ripped out. I would probably never see him again, and that made tears stung in my eyes. There was nothing I could do to save him right now. How could I live and not see him every day? How could I live without the blue eyes that was my anchor to this life? To this planet?  
I saw his mouth twitch, forming words I could not hear. But I understood.  
Ian had said, '_I love you, run,'_ right before his body fell to the ground.

I stood there for a second, not knowing what to do. But when one of the Seekers turned around and saw me, I knew what to do. I could not run, because they would catch up with me. This body was to weak, to slow. And I could not let them know about the caves, about the humans I love. I knew Ian would fight back, not telling where they were, like Mel had. Ian was stronger than her. But my body would tell them, because there was no human inside who could keep that information a secret from the Seekers when I was removed. Because I knew they would remove me.  
So I did the only thing possible. I dropped the two bags, and searched for the little pill in my pocket.  
It wasn't hard to find, and it was in my mouth before the Seeker was near me. I could hear her screaming at me, to spit the pill out, but I was determinated to swallow it, and I did. The Seeeker was now running to get to me as fast as possible. But I was falling down, darkness folding around me. I knew she would do everything there was to do to save me, but it would be too late.  
She would take me to a Healer, the hospital wasn't far away. But it would be too late, the body would be gone, and there was nothing to do to save it_. I_ would be gone.

I felt my consciousness slipping, but in the last seconds of awareness, I saw something the Seeker didn't. Two dark shapes stood in the darkness, looking at us. One was big and tall, and the other was smaller. Melanie and Jared. It seemed to me that, despite how far away they were, I could see their fear, hurt and anger towards the Seekers. It was like I was standing next to them.  
Melanie clung to Jared's side, tears streaming down her face. No, that wasn't right. Jared was _restraining_ her from trying to help me, even though they both knew it was too late. They had seen me take the pill. Take the one pill that would change everything. Jared was smart to stop her, he knew she wouldn't have a chance. They would return to the caves without us. Grief would be taking a place next to the humans there. Grief for me and for Ian. How would Jamie take this? Kyle had lost his only family left, the only one who knew the truth about_ their_ family was now gone.  
In the split millisecond before darkness completely sorrounded me, I imagined Ian.  
I imagined his hands tracing down my spine, his skin touching mine, the warmth of his body, his lips on mine...

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**Sorry about the lenght, but the next chapters will be longer.  
I just felt like I had to write this one, so you guys know what happened.**

**Tell me what you think about it, and leave review.  
Reviews make me happy, and me happy writes better stories.  
Remember that ^^**


	2. Chapter 2

I could feel the darkness slipping, and suddenly it wasn't so dark anymore. I could almost see the surface of the dark, something light.  
Memories came flushing in. But it was strange, like I was seeing a reflection of my previous life.

_We was walking hand in hand, like we always do.  
Just going to the store, nothing unusual. But I followed, like every time.  
And like every time, I waited.  
"I'll be real fast. You want something?" Her soft voice asked me.  
But I shook my head, because everything I wanted and needed was already mine, and in my arms.  
And because of that, I kissed her lips. My hole body was on fire, just after this small, qick kiss.  
I love how she can do this to me, just by touching me. It's like we were designed for each other.  
Wanda and me. Not her body, even though she was this body. It was Wanda who made my body pull in her direction every time she walked into a room. Like I new she was there, even though I couldn't see her. It was like love was supposted to be, but more. It was everything for us._

What was this? Why was I seeing Ian like this?

_Wanda hadn't come back yet, when I heard footsteps. Several footsteps. They were loud, as was the voices. Seekers, damn it.  
I tried to hide behind the building, but they saw me.  
I tried to run, but they catched me.  
I tried to fight, but then I saw Wanda.  
I saw the look in her eyes, in her face. She looked devestated. Pain, sorrow, love. It was all in her eyes. I knew I had to fight, but I couldn't. Darkness was sorrounding me.  
So I did the only thing possible.  
I moved my lips, and formed the words I needed her to hear.  
'I love you, run.'  
And then the darkness sorrouned me completely._

No, why was I seeing this? Was this the way it felt like when you die? No, it can't be.  
The darkness was long gone now, and I felt myself lying on something. Only it wasn't me.  
It wasn't my small body, this was bigger. Taller, more muscular.  
How could it be that I was in a new body? I couldn't go through all that again.  
All I knew was that if this was a new body, if I really _was_ alive, I needed to find the caves.  
But why would they believe me when I say I'm Wanda? They saw me die...  
When I thought about my name, memories flooded in. The caves, the people there, Mel, Jamie, Jeb, Ian... Ian, would I see him again?  
I could feel my body responding to these thoughts, and I heard voices around me.  
"I think he's –" _he?_ –"beginning to wake up," a female said, and I felt something touch me.  
I didn't want to open my eyes, but I did it anyway. I was in a big room, it looked like a room in a hospital. So the Seekers did save me. I was alive.  
A woman was hovering over me, looking at me.  
"Hi there. I thought you wouldn't wake up for awhile," she said, her voice friendly.  
I tried to get up, and it was easier then I thought it would be.  
I must be tall in this body, the woman beside me was small.  
I really must be in a male body. That felt wrong. Doc could help me..._ If_ they believed me.  
"What's your name?"  
Should I tell her the truth? Should I say my name is Wanda?  
Or should I lie, say another name? That felt safer for some reason.  
"Petals Open to the Moon." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth either. But why did I recognize this voice? I could swear that I'd heard it before.  
"Okay. Do you remember your host name?"  
I didn't want to say it, but I searched anyway. There was a wall blocking me, like with Mel.  
But I felt a presence. It was strong. I searched more, fought the wall, and what I found shocked me.  
No, it couldn't be? It was too good to be true. It was impossible. But I recognized that voice. That wonderful, wonderful voice. I knew I had heard it, but I didn't dare hope.  
"Can I see a mirror?" I whispered, not quite finding my voice.  
"Of course, wait a second..." she said, and turned her back on me.  
A second later she turned again, with a small mirror in her hand.  
For some reason, I wasn't shocked from what I saw, like I thought I would be.  
There was the same snow and ink I had seen so many times. But the sapphire was gone, replaced with silver. The face was just as beautiful without the sapphire, as with it.  
_Ian? Ian? Please, be there. __I love you, please... Ian O'Shea, you better be in there! _I thought, desperate to hear him. I needed to know he really was there, and that I wasn't imagining that presence.  
_Wanda? _I wanted to shout in relief, but I couldn't do that. Not now with a Healer in the same room.  
And I couldn't let my tears fall, either. So I did what I could.  
_I-I-I saw you, they took you, I thought I would never see you again.  
__I'm here, you won't get rid of me that easy. Now to the bigger question. Why are _you_ here?  
__I couldn't run, they would catch me. So I did the only this possible at the moment.  
_I didn't say anything more, I showed him.  
He didn't have time to respond before the Healer wanted my attention.  
"Do you remember the name? I'm sorry to pressure you, but we need to know. He was human, but I guess you know that already."  
"I remember. And his name was Trev," I lied smoothly.  
_Why Trev?  
__I didn't want to say your name, so I choosed Mel's dad's name.  
_She didn't notice my lie, and I was glad. She wasn't suspisious. Maybe I was getting better at lying?  
_No, you're still a terrible one.  
__Oh, shut up. I need to get us out of here.  
_"That's a nice name. Can I get you something?  
"I would like to go to the bathroom," I lied again.  
"The second door to the left, down the corridor," she told me and I got up and walked away.  
I hoped no one would see me, knowing I wasn't going to the bathroom at all.  
There wasn't many people out there, just a few, and all of them busy with other things.  
So no one seemed to notice me, just walking out of the doors.  
It was beginning to get dark outside. The sun was setting, and the sky was orange.  
It looked beautiful.  
_So, how do we do this?_ I asked Ian, because he probably did know a better way.  
_We need a car, first and foremost. Because I'm guessing you don't feel like walking.  
__You're guessing right. So let's find a car.  
_I didn't like the thought of just taking it, but I didn't like the thought of walking either.  
So I began my search for a car we could use. The first car I saw was black, and it seemed to be unlocked. So I walked up to it, and saw that it was in fact unlocked. I opened the door unwillingly, and climbed inside.  
I sighted, _now what do I do?  
__If you can't find keys, you have to false start the car.  
_Please, let me find keys, I thought more to myself than anyone else.  
Ian chuckled at my comment, but didn't say anything as I searched.  
It didn't take me long at all to find the keys, laying slightly visibibly in the glove compartment.  
I hoped no one would miss the car too much, as I placed the key in the ingition and started the car.  
I would have to put gas in the car in maybe an hour, and there was maybe five hours back to the caves. I felt that both Ian and I were tired, so this was going to be a long drive.  
_I'll keep you awake_, he promised me, and that made me smile a little. But only a little. I was still worried about how they would welcome us. I knew they wouldn't just let us in with open arms. And we probably wouldn't have the time to explain before they'll use the Sleep on us.  
_We'll figure out a way, there's a long drive__.  
__What if they hurt you? Not knowing...  
__Shh. _He interuppted me._ No one is hurting me, or you. I promise.  
__But that's wrong. You can't promise me something you don't know anything about.  
__We'll find a way to explain, convince them it's you.. Because I can't let anything happen to you. I already thought I lost you once, and I could have done it again the other day.  
__I did what I had too, both times.  
__I know, love. And I love you for that.  
_I could feel his love for me in a hole different way now. Just like he could feel my love for him.  
_I love you, too. So much.  
_I looked out the window, at the road, the darkness, while I was fighting tears I knew wouldn't come.  
_I shouldn't have let you follow. I wasn't being cautious, this is all my fault.  
__It's not your fault, remember that. I did what I always do, I followed you and waited outside. This was just bad luck.  
__I could have been more cautious!  
__No one was catious, we just wanted to go home. I knew it's your personality to blame yourself, but don't you dare, Wanda. This was no one's fault.  
__You know I can't help it.  
__I know,_ Iansighted in our head.  
I concentrated on the road, willing the hours to fly by. But the minutes were slow, like time wasn't on our side. Would we be home before dawn? Probably not, because we still needed to walk, to not turn any extra attention with a car out in the desert.  
_I wish I could be there with you,_ Ian thought after a while of silence.  
_You're here.  
__You know what I mean. I wish I could be sitting next to you, instead of in here. Hold your hand, touch your skin, hold you in my arms, kiss your lips.  
__I wish so, too. And I miss looking into your eyes.  
_I sighted, thinking of one of our many moments together.

_Ian, Mel, Jared, Jamie and I was sitting in the kitchen, eating breakfast and getting ready to work.  
Ian wraped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him.  
"Jeb wants us to irrigate the tomatoes," he whispers in my ear.  
"I thought we were planting beans today," I stated, looking into his beautiful eyes.  
"That's too much work for you, Wanda," he said. That just made me roll my eyes at him. My body had gotten stronger in the last month and I was able to do just about anything I wanted to, unless it involved reaching something high.  
"I can do it," I insist.  
"Are you arguing with me?" he asks, grinning at me.  
"Souls don't argue," I said, blushing slightly for no reason at all.  
"There it is again. I believe you are arguing with me Wanderer."  
"There's a first," I heard Jared said with a grin of his own.  
"Shut-up, I'm not arguing! I just stated a simple fact. I'm able to plant seeds today!" I shouted at them and got up from the table. Suddenly the whole table was laughing at my words. Angry, I stomped away towards the bean field, taking as long stides as this body allows me too. I was going to plant beans today and Ian could do nothing at all to stop me.  
I heard footsteps behind me, and it didn't take long for Ian to catch up to me with his long strides.  
"I'm sorry Wanda," he says, apologetically.  
"I forgive you," I sighed, looking into his eyes.  
"Good, because I would very much like to kiss you," he leaned closer, his lips almost touching mine.  
"Then why don't you?" I ask him in a teasing voice, reaching the last few millimetres to touch his lips.  
Ian's lips found mine in the darkness. It was like an electric current surged through me suddenly.  
The kiss was slow and gentle, they way I was planning on kissing him for the rest of my life.  
I was glad again that I had been smart enough to lie about my age._

Maybe I should have chosen another memory to think about, since Ian didn't know about me lying about my age. Until now.  
_So, how old are you really? _Ian wondered.  
_26, _I said. I was telling the truth, in a way. I was inserted in Ian's body, and he was 26 years old.  
_You know that wasn't what I meant. .  
_I sighted, and then told him.  
_Pet's body was 16, turning 17 when I was placed in it. And I added a year.  
__That doesn't really surprise me. You did look very young. But why lie about it?  
__Because you're honorable, and I didn't want to wait another second do be with you.  
_Ian seemed to think about what I had just told him, and I was worried. Was he going to be angry at me for lying? Or did he simply just don't care?  
_Stop worrying. I couldn't be angry at you, not for a second. __So no, I'm not mad at you for lying, and I guess I knew deep inside me you were. And besides, you're next body might be older.  
__And stronger, less shy and doesn't blush so easily, _I told him and Ian chuckled.  
I continued to drive into the night, waching the sun set and getting closer to home every second.


	3. Chapter 3

In the night, I had stopped the car for a few hours of sleep. It wasn't comfortable to sleep in the car but it would do for one night. We should be back by tonight if we walked.  
There was only maybe ten minutes left until we would leave the car, right next to the store at Picacho Peak. The sun was rising, and we would be walking in the hot sun and would need alot of water.  
This felt like deja vu, only I was in another body. One I loved already, with my whole being.  
It would be great to see Mel again, but how would they all react?  
I suppose Mel and Jared would be the hardest to convince, since they saw me take the pill and fall to the ground, lifeless. But we would do it, somehow.  
I could see the mountains, and knew it wasn't far. I looked out the windows, at the mountains and the beautiful sun rising.  
_Home_, I sighted as I looked.  
_Home,_ Ian agreed.

A few minutes later I parked the car outside the store, that had just opened for the day.  
It was still cool in the air, and we would need to begin our walk as soon as possible.  
So I left the car – unlocked, not caring about who would find it - and walked inside.  
It looked exactly like it had the last time I was here, so it was easy to find what we needed for the day. A lot of water and food. I didn't just take for the two of us, I took some for the people in the caves, too, knowing Ian was strong enough to carry it all. I even took a bag to have them in, so it would be easier. Last, but not least, I took a bag of cheetos for me, and mint chocolate ice cream for Ian. I knew _he _wouldn't tecnically be eating it, but still... It was his favourite after all.  
_I'm glad you haven't forgotten about me_, he said, a little bit teasing.  
_How could I ever forget about you, _I answered him, fully serious.  
_You know, this isn't half bad.  
__What isn't?  
__Having someone in my head, well not _you_ at least.  
_I smiled and walked up to the check in, scanning the food and water.  
"Are you hiking?"  
"Yes, for a few days. I love the out door life," I said.  
"Have a nice trip then, and good luck. Today is going to be hot," he said, smiling at me.  
"Thank you, and goodbye," I said and then left. Ian seemed irritated at the guy.  
_He was only beeing nice__ at me.  
_Too_ nice, _he muttred.  
_You do realize I'm in your body now, don't you? He wasn't flirting or anything.  
__But still, I don't like it.  
_I had to laugh out loud, reminded.  
_What's so funny?  
__It's nothing. Just the fact that the last time I was here, Mel didn't like that a guy was nice to us. So it's kinda like deja vu, all of this. But this time I know how and where to walk.  
__At least there's that, _Ian said, still a little bit irritated.

I started walking, taking long strides, in the right direction, and thinking about the people we would convince I was here in only hours.  
Who would be the first one to believe us? _Would_ anyone believe us at all?  
I hoped they would, or this would be difficult.  
What would they do if they didn't believe the words that came out of our mouth?  
They would probably use Sleep, and then remove me, wait until Ian wakes up.  
And _then_ they would believe us, because Ian would convince them it was me in here after all.  
But what would they do to me? Maybe they had a raid planned, and dropping me off at the same time, before Ian wakes up? No, they would at least wait for him, so he could tell them who really was in there.  
_It won't go that far. They'll believe us, they have to. There has to be something you can say or do to convice them.  
_I didn't answer him, instead I continued thinking about all the possibilities.  
If, - _when_ – they believed us, they would have to go on a raid, finding me a new body.  
This time I would choose with them, and Ian, too.  
_You know I don't care about how you look, Wanda_.  
_I know, but you have a right to help me decide. My new body will be yours as much as mine.  
_I didn't want to think about how to convince them right now, so I moved on to the next important thing that would happen after we got home.  
I wanted Doc to do the procedure. It wasn't that I didn't trust Candy, I did. She was a good Healer. But I wanted Doc to do it. He had gave me a promise once, even though he broke it. Which I'm glad he did. But he would be the one to put me in my new body, and free Ian.  
Only, who would help him? Jamie was way to young, and even though I trusted him, I didn't want him to do it. Yes, he could watch, but nothing more. Jeb? Maybe.  
_No.  
__Why not?  
__I don't know. I just want the right one to be the one to assist Doc. Someone who loves you.  
__They all loves me, and you, but I know what you mean. And I feel the same way.  
_Jared was out of the picture. He had shown me he could do this, but I did't want him to be the one.  
There really was only one person who I trusted enough, and wanted to help Doc, except Ian.  
And that was Melanie, my sister and best friend. And she knew exactly how to do it.  
_I can agree to that. I know she loves you enough to be careful.  
__Doc and Mel then. _

_---_

I didn't need to drink as much water in Ian's body as I had in Mel's.  
Ian tolerated more, and had more energy.  
The sun was in the middle of the sky, and we only had a few hours left. Two, maybe three.  
I looked around me, and noticed we were in the spot Jeb had found us so long ago.  
It felt like a whole other life. And I guess it was, you could say. At least for me.  
This was the first time I had seen Ian, he had worn an angry mask, identical to Kyle's.  
But both of them was long gone, and I was glad about that.  
But if it weren't for those masks, my life wouldn't look the way it did right now.  
_I'm sorry,_ Ian suddenly thought, and I knew what he meant. But he didn't need to be.  
_Don't be. Despite what you did to me in the beginning, what almost everyone did, I fell in love with you. I love you, I love my life. We just need to fix it a little bit to be together again.  
__That doesn't change anything. If it weren't for Jeb, you would be dead right now. And I would have been the one to kill you. I hate myself for that, every time I think about it.  
__Then don't. Because I don't. You thought what you did you had too, but that's changed now. Just don't think that way again. Please?  
__I'll try, I promise.  
__Good. Now, let's keep walking.  
__Maybe we should wait, take a pause. I was thinking, and maybe it's better to walk inside when everyone's asleep? Won't be so much people to fight. We'll just walk down to the hospital, waiting for Doc, making sure we don't fall asleep. And, if we have any Seekers after us, they won't find us so easily.  
_I thought about it, and it sounded like a good plan. Better than mine, walking straight inside.  
And he was right about the Seekers. So I found a little shade, and sat down.  
By some sort of miracle I fell alseep, tired after all the walking.

When I woke up again, the sun was starting to set on the sky.  
This was a good time of the day. We would be back after dark, and there wouldn't be so many people awake. Hopefully.  
I took a sip of the water, and got up from the position we were in. Our back was hurting a little, from the position we'd been in. But it wasn't bad, and it would pass in a while.  
I started walking in the right direction, walking slowly to make the time pass faster.  
Maybe not faster, but the time we got back would be a lot later if we walked slow. So I did, and hoped for the best.  
Maybe three hours later I could make out the opening of the caves. We were sorrounded by dark, and if I hadn't been so used to this place I wouldn't of seen it. I took a deep breath, and walked closer. I stopped in the mouth of the opening, thinking this through.  
There had to be a better way. But what?  
_I'm sorry, but there really isn't. It's just best to walk inside, and get this over with.  
_I admired his courage at this moment, and I used it as I walked again. If it weren't for Ian, I couldn't have done this. I didn't have the courage.  
_You're brave, Wanda. One of the bravest persons I've ever met. Remember that.  
__Thank you...  
_It was very dark in the caves, as usual, but it wasn't hard to find. Both Ian and I knew this caves, and could probably drew a map of them in our sleep. Ian knew them even better than I did.  
I walked slowly, sneeking and creeping on the walls, so no one would see or hear us.  
We walked right to the hospital wing, and we we're lucky. No one had seen us.  
But then again, I wasn't that lucky all the time.  
_Not good, not good at all__, _Ian thought as we heard the voices.  
Some angry, some confused, both most sad.  
We could make out Doc, Jeb, Mel, Jared, Jamie, Kyle and Sunny, and even more people.  
This wasn't good at all.  
_Oh, no. What do we do?  
__Eh, Wanda, I think there's nothing we can do nothing, since you said the words out loud.  
__What? Oh, crap.  
_I quickly turned us, and started walking but felt a hand on our shoulder.  
"And where do you think you're going?" Jared's voice was near, and angry.  
Oh, crap.  
I didn't turn as I answered him. I didn't want to confirm his suspisous. That was the best wasy to get out of this unharmed.  
"Jared, listen closley to me. This really isn't what you think. I know what you saw, but that's not really the whole story."  
"Then turn around and tell me the whole story."  
"Jared, what's going on?" Kyle asked, his voice near.  
"Look what I found," he said, and then turned us around. Everyone was standing there. Jared, Kyle, Mel, Jamie, Doc, Jeb... Strangley I didn't feel anything against Mel. Nothing but friendship from Ian.  
I guess he was right then. He did love _me.  
__I told you, didn't I?  
__You did. But I guess we really don't have time for this now. What do I do?  
_"Ian?" Mel asked, shocked by seeing him.  
"Mel, that's not Ian, look at the eyes."  
"Please, I need you to listen to me before you say anything. Yes, Ian is still here."  
I could see the question written all over their faces, and they were realived by my words.  
"Mel, Doc, Jared, Kyle... This is going to sound strange, I get that, and I don't really don't believe it myself. But I need you to believe me when I say this. It's me – Wanda."  
I really shouldn't have said that. Jared and Kyle grabbed us in the arms, dragging us to the hospital, into the light.  
I could see that Doc pulled out a bottle of Sleep, and I really needed to stop them.  
"It's really me, okay?"  
"Impossible, Jared and Mel saw Wanda dying. Ian isn't even in there, is he? You just used his memories to trick us, lure the Seekers to us? Am I right?" Kyle was angry, and so was Ian.  
_Ian, calm down.  
__How can I when he just said that? Has he absolutly no faith in you, in me?  
_He was getting angrier by the second, and I could feel him wanting to control his muscles. Then I got an idea.  
_Ian, can you make yourself control you?  
__I can try, why?  
__Maybe that's the only way we can make them believe it's you in there.  
_I could feel Ian concentrating on trying to find a way out, and I concentrated on the same thing.  
I closed by eyes, and tried to relax in Jared and Kyle's hard grip. But it didn't work.  
"Come on, Ian, right here," I whispered, not meaning for everyone to hear.  
"That's not going to work, you _parasite," _Kyle spitted out and that did it.  
I could feel Ian taking control of himself again.  
He used all his powers to lirk out of the grips, and ducked then they tried to hit him.  
_I'm sorry, Wanda, but I need to do this__. _Ian thought right before he threw his right fist right in Kyle's face. His nose was probably broken again.  
"Ian?" Mel gasped, looking at us.  
"Hi Mel," Ian said, again nothing but friendship against her.  
Then he lost his control, as his anger flew out with one believer.  
"That's not Ian," Jared said.  
"Oh, no, that was Ian alright," Kyle said, looking our way, holding his hand over his nose.  
I winced at the thought of hurting someone, even if _I_ hadn't done it.  
_I'm so sorry, Wanda. I shouldn't have done that.  
__No, that's what you needed to do. They believe us know.  
__Not the whole story.  
_"Ian, are you still there?" Doc wondered, hesitant, and I answered him.  
"He's in here."  
"Who are you?"  
"I told you – Wanda."  
Jared and Kyle still didn't believe me, I could see that. But that wasn't who I needed to convice. It was Mel and Doc, they would believe me the most. So I said two things only they knew about.  
"Don't mess with us, who are you_ really_?" Mel asked, angry. I could see she was sorry, probably hurt about the fact that I was supposted to be dead.  
"You'll never know how much time you'll have," I repeted her words, from one of her memories.  
I could see her flinch at my words, and I hoped she would believe me. But I needed to convince Doc, too.  
"You are the noblest, purest creature I've ever met. The universe will be a darker place without you."  
He looked at me with shocked eyes, and shook his head.  
"How - where did you hear those words?"  
"In person." I looked at him, so my attention wasn't on Mel.  
"Mel, no!" Jared roared, fumbling for her, but he missed and then she was standing right next to us, looking in our eyes.  
"He still makes me feel safe," Melanie whispered, her eyes staring at our face.  
She was testing me, giving me one of our many conversations. She would belive me after this, because I would give her the right answer.  
"Thought he doesn't even know I'm here."  
Tears were forming in her eyes, and then her arms where around us.  
"Is it really you?"  
"I'm sorry. But I had to do it, I couldn't let them come here, and Ian..."  
"Shut up, and tell us what the hell is going on!" Kyle screamed, scaring Sunny.  
"It's true, it's really her."  
"We saw her die, Melanie, it's impossible," Jared tried, but she wouldn't take it. Neither did Doc.  
"It must be her. Those words she said, 'You are the noblest, purest creature I've ever met. The universe will be a darker place without you.' I said those to her, right before... right before I took her out from Melanie's body. The only one who knew I said that is me, Wanda and Mel. It's her."  
"She could have told Ian," Jared said, arguing.  
_Share one of their memories together, then he'll believe you.  
__You're a genious.  
_"Jared, the first time you kissed Mel, she kicked you. The second time, she screamed. No, it wasn't too melodramatic to tell her you'd rather die then leave her alone, and yes, you are unstoppable at hide-and-seek. 'Neither heaven nor hell can keep me apart from you, Melanie.'"  
Jared looked at us shocked, not wanting to believe what I had just told him.  
I turned to Kyle, before Jared had the time to respone.  
"You wanna know why I saved you? It was because of when you were unconsious, you looked so peaceful and good. You looked like Ian. Mel wanted to kill you, let you fall down, but you looked like Ian, so I tried to drag you up." That was the first time I actually had admitted that Kyle had tried to kill me, and Ian got angry again.  
I turned to Jamie, although I was convinced he knew the truth already, and quoted him from a long time ago.  
"Ian says you're too self-sacrificing for your own good. I think he's got a point. Even if we all want you here, you don't belong until you decide you do.' Guess what, Jamie? I_ do_ want to belong here."  
"And Jeb," I said, and turned to him, still trying to convince everyone, "thank you for making me telling the stories to everyone. If it weren't for you, I..." I trailed off, now knowing what to say.  
_How do you think it went? Do they believe us_?  
_Mel and Doc does, and Jamie. __And I think Jared's about to. You shared private memories between him and Mel. He _should_ believe you. Or else I'm breaking free again.  
_"Wanda?" Jared's voice was uncertain, pained. It really had hurt them all to belive I was dead, and Ian gone.  
I nodded at him, looking around the room. They all seemed to belive me. It wasn't that bad, and no one had been hurt, except from Kyle.  
"How?"  
"Yes, I did take the pill. But I guess I didn't die –" Ian flinched at my word.  
_Sorry. _- " and I was put in Ian's body for some reason."  
"But you should have died from the pill," Doc said, making Ian flinch again.  
"But I didn't. I work in a different way. Somehow Pet's body was still getting air, and I lived. I guess they couldn't Heal Pet's body, and I was put in Ian."  
"You _guess?" _I grimaced, thinking that maybe I should have stayed to find out more information.  
"I didn't really think about asking questions. So I lied, told the Healer I was going to the bathroom, and left."  
"But that was only a few days ago, how did you make it here so fast?"  
"_We_... stole a car." I grimaced about the memory.  
_Sorry about that, too.  
__I would do it a thousant times if it meant getting you back.  
_Kyle and Jared starting laughing at that.  
"Let me guess, my brother's idea?"  
"Geeh, how did you know?" I used sarcasm for the first time since leaving Mel's body. Before he had the time to answer, I turned to Doc.  
"Doc, how much medicine do you have?"  
"I haven't used any since the last raid, so alot. Why?"  
"Tomorrow, if you don't mind, we're going on a raid."  
"What are we getting?" Sunny asked, and for a second I looked at her shocked.  
"We, as in Ian, I, Mel and Jared, are finding me a new body."


	4. Chapter 4

We had talked almost the entire night, making plans.  
We would go to a smaller town, a few hours from here, pick a body, and then leave for home again.  
Just like with Pet's body, this would be easy.  
Jared and Ian had their opinions, of course. Jared, the practical side of him showing, wanted to do this in the best way, and Ian wanted to protect me in the best way. I tried to tell him I was going to be fine. I was in his body, and he knew how to fight. And take control of the body, if he wanted too.  
But he didn't listen, and I sighted in defeat. We would do this in a way that keept me safe.  
Eventually we found a good plan that worked, both keeping thing's easy and keeping me safe.  
We would find the body, I would trick her to the van, Jared would be ready with Sleep and then Jared would put the body in the van, driving home again. When we were home, we would take the soul out and wait to see if there was a claim to the body.  
If there wasn't, we would remove me from Ian's body and insert me in the new one.  
If there was a claim to the body, we would be one more person in the caves.  
We would leave at dawn, before the sun rised, so we took a few hours of sleep.

Walking into my and Ian's room made me feel lonley in a way I wasn't. Ian _was_ here, only I couldn't touch him, sleep next to him. Tonight would be lonley.  
But I was surpsrised that Ian put up a wall for me. That was a first.  
_Ian? Why the wall?_ I wondered, without searching. I wouldn't either. Maybe it was something private.  
_I promise I'll tell you. But not now. I need to tell you that in person.  
__Okay, then, _I thought as I laid down. I found a comfortable positon, but I just couldn't manage to fall asleep. So Ian and I were talking, instead. We talked about almost everything, sharing memories, thinking of the future. But when we talked about the future, that wall was back, and again I wondered what it was all about. But I would let him tell me himself, in person.  
The time flew by, and suddenly we heard a slight knock in the door.

"Wanda, you awake?" Mel's voice asked us.  
"We're awake," I said and got up from the matress. We walked up to the door, and opened it.  
Mel was alone outside.  
"You look tired," she stated, looking at us.  
"We didn't really sleep. It was lonely, laying alone in the room," I explained, as we started walking.  
Mel didn't say anything, but she looked like she did want to.  
But she was quiet, all the way to the van. Of course she talked to Jared, and to us, but she looked like she was trying to solve something.  
Jared had brought food we would eat in the car, and I started eating the second we got to the van.  
Mel still didn't say anything, and I got slighly worried.  
"Mel? What's on your mind?"  
"It's nothing really..." she trailed off, looking at us. I guessed she didn't want to talk with Ian here, maybe it was something between sisters.  
"Ian can... step into another room," I laughted, quoting herself.  
"No, Wanda, Ian, it's nothing. I don't care if he hears this. I just don't know how to ask."  
"Ask? Come on, Mel. We share everything with each other. I won't bite you," I tried to make her relax, but it didn't seem to work.  
"I'm just thinking about something. When you talk about yourself, in Ian's body, you say _we, _but you mean yourself. And from the first second you were in my body, you thought of it as your own. Why?"  
"Oh," I said, not really sure of how to explain. It really had a lot of reasons.  
"Mel, I'm sorry. I was wrong then. I just wanted you gone, you know I was afraid of you. You were there when you shouldn't be. And I just wanted to get rid of you. I thought of your body as mine because it was at the time. It always belonged to you, but I didn't know there was a chance for me to love you. For you to get your body back. So I claimed it as mine. I'm sorry about that. But with Ian... I love him so much, not just the body. I love _him_, as he loves _me._ And I know Ian will get his body back, and I will get a new one. This is just temporary, a solution for the moment. But I can't call his body mine, because it isn't. It was wrong to call your _mine,_ I know that. I called it mine from the beginning, and when I started to love you I was so used to it. If I didn't love Ian as much as I do, if there wasn't a way to free him, I would call this body mine, too."  
_My body does belong to you, Wanda. Just like Mel's belongs__ to Jared. And it always will. And my heart will always belong to you, too.  
__I love you, too, Ian.  
_"What did he say?" Mel asked, looking at us.  
"You noticed?"  
"It isn't that hard. I know you have to concentrate on him, like you did with me, and I can see you concentrating on something."  
"He said his body _does_ belong to me. Like his heart will always do. But it's really the other way around. My soul will always belong to him."

The sun was up, and there was only one more hour left in the van before we were there.  
I could feel the tiredness getting on us, but I figured we could sleep later, when we were home.  
Ian was quiet as I spoke to Mel and Jared, talking about alot of things. The things we'd missed.  
"When we saw you... We saw Ian first, the Seekers getting to him. He tried to fight, and I knew we couldn't help him. All I thought about was you. And then there you were. You just stood there, frozen. I knew it before it would happen. I could see you dropping the bags, reaching into your pocket. I tried... I tried, but Jared restrained me. I don't know, maybe it was for the best," Mel trailed off.  
"Mel, you don't have to say this. I saw you."  
"How was it like?" Jared asked then.  
"Falling, dying? I felt nothing, just darkness sorrounding me. The last thing I can really remember is Ian's words to me. 'I love you, run.' I understood I couldn't run. They would catch up with me. Remove me, put someone else in Pet's body. And then all of you would be discovered. I couldn't let that happen. I knew Ian would fight. He would of been like you Mel. Slowly putting memories in the souls thoughts, making him or she lovs all the people in the caves. Find a way back. But I couldn't fight. So I did the only thing possible."  
_I don't know if you're right. Yes, I would have put up that wall. But memories of everyone, of _you_? No, I wouldn't share that with anyone.  
__Ian, I know you. You would find a way back, to get yourself back.  
_"When we got back... They knew something was wrong even before we had the chance to tell anyone. I was crying, Jared was depressed. Kyle was first to understand. I've never seen Jamie so beaten down. The thought of Ian trapped, of you, dead? No one took it well. The first day we just grieved, then, the night you got back... We were trying to find a way to get Ian back. Finding him, and taking him back to the caves. It was the best way, I knew that, but I couldn't stop thinking about you. How would Ian take the news? He would be destroyed, lose his whole word."  
Mel's words stung. Not just because I knew I would take his whole world away from him, but because I had once. Mel's words were on repeat in my head, from one of our first conversations about me giving her body back, and the consequences.  
'_You'll take the whole world away from him. Everything he wants.'  
_"Wanda, you know I would have kept my promise. And maybe he would have let me."  
I felt like crying, but Ian's body wasn't that emotional. The only time I had actually seen him cry was... No, I couldn't think of that.  
_You won't, I won't let you think of it. You did the right thing at the moment, and in the bigger picture.  
__Maybe I did, but Mel is right. I would have taken the whole world away from you.  
_I was sobbing in my head, not letting any emotions show on Ian's face. Or so I thought.  
"Wanda, don't be upset, please?" Mel said, soothingly.  
"But you're so right. '_You'll take the whole world away from him. Everything he wants.' _Remember?_"  
_Mel actually smiled.  
"That was a good one, the fight, even though you didn't listen to me. You have got to stop being so stubborn, Wanda."  
"I think I was so stubborn because of you."  
"Wanda_, you_ are stubborn. Deal with it. Maybe I am too, but so are you. If you weren't... I don't think we would have believed you yesterday..."  
_She's right. You are stubborn, and good, and self-sacrifying, and so unselfish. __You always do the right thing, no matter what.  
__Seriously, Ian, if you don't want to cry, you have got to stop saying things like that.  
_He chuckled, and it was good to hear. I smiled with him.  
"Thank you, Mel." She smiled at us. It felt strange that she had hated him so much when I didn't.  
"What's that look about?"  
"Oh, just thinking about one of our conversations." I laughted thinking about it.  
"_Of all the nerve! You tell him I said no chance in hell! I do_ not_ like this man."  
_"Í'm sorry, Ian. You're not a bad guy, even though I thought so at the moment."  
"Mel, at the moment? When he kissed _me,_ you wanted to kick his ass, so much more then you wanted when Jared kissed _you_." It felt good to be able to laugh at this now.  
"Okay, maybe I hated him then. But not anymore, I promise Ian. And thank you for respecting me, too. Even though I didn't think of it that way then."  
"He forgives you, Melanie."

We talked some more, but then it wen't quiet for awhile. We had reached the city, and now the only thing left was to find a body for me.  
Jared stopped the van behind the corner of a building, so it wasn't visible to the world around, and I climed out to start the search.  
Ian hadn't really liked this part of the plan, involving me going alone in the city.  
But I couldn't risk Mel and Jared, so I had to do this alone for now. And I was a soul, I would be fine.  
I didn't have to walk the streets for long before I found a girl with potential.  
_I_ didn't like this part of the plan. I didn't like to search for a body, to take the soul out. Maybe they had family and friends, people they loved?  
Ian was the only one who really knew this, and like he had told me, it needed to be done.  
She was alone, maybe just out on a walk. Pretty tall, maybe as tall as Mel.  
She looked athletic, which was good, because that meant I could work in that body.  
Her hair was golden, containing long, beautiful locks. She was beautiful, looked innocent, like Jared had wanted my body to look like, and to please Jamie, she did look a little bit like an angel.  
_Stop thinking about what they want. What do _you_ want?  
__I like her, I think I would like to be in her body. So?  
__No, don't do that. You know I don't care about how you look.  
__But you need a saying, my body belongs to you, too.  
__But it's not the body I love, it's _you.  
I sighted, Ian was stubborn, too.  
_Okay, let's take her. __Do you remeber the name of the street where Mel and Jared is?  
__Becker Street.  
_I started to walk up to her, her back against us.  
"Excuse me?" I didn't really know what to say, so I used Mel's words.  
"Oh, hello," she said as she turned around. I didn't like the way she was looking at us.  
_Jealous, Wanderer? _I didn't answer him, and he laughted.  
"Hi, I'm Trev." I used Mel's father's name again.  
"Im here visiting some friends, and I think I'm lost. Do you think maybe you could help me?"  
She smiled at us, and I really didn't like it. Ian chuckled at my jealousy.  
"Sure, where are you going?"  
"Becker Street," I said, and she started walking. I followed.  
She wanted to talk as we walked, and I had to answer her questions.  
Who was I visiting? Maybe she knew them. How old was I? 26. Did I have a partner?  
"Yes I do," I muttred, not wanting to answer her questions. She looked down, looking sad.  
But she seemed kind, and if I wasn't jealous, I would have liked her.  
Then we saw Mel and Jared, and I hurried to change the subject.  
"Oh, there's my friends. Come on, I'd like to intoduce you." She followed.  
"This is Melanie and Jared. This is.. oh, sorry, I never asked for your name."  
"Rises with the Sun," she smiled and reached her hand out for Mel. She took it and smiled back.  
Jared was ready with the Sleep, and Rises with the Sun fell to the ground quickly.  
Jared took her over his shoulder and laid her in the van, and closed the doors behind him.  
I would drive back, with Mel beside me in the passenger seat, and Jared would sit in the back, making sure she wouldn't wake up.  
I hoped we would be back soon, and that the drive home would be fast.

* * *

**What do you think? **

**I have the next chapter almost done, but it would be great if you could come with some ideas. I might use them ^^**

**About Reading The Host: **

**_I don't know if any of these readers have read Reading The Host, so maybe this won't acctually help, but..  
_**_**I need more reviews on that one. I need to know I'm going to have readers, or I won't write it.  
****So, if you do want to read it, review. The link is on my stories. **_


	5. Chapter 5

_Wanda, you're about to fall asleep. Mel can drive.  
__No, we're there soon. And it's more safe if I drive.  
_He couldn't argue with that, and I continued to drive. I didn't stop until we were right outside the cave, it would be easier to take my new body inside that way. Jared would drive the van back. Jared didn't ask me to carry her, but took her himself and carried her to Doc. There he laid her on one of the cot, and left after giving Mel a quick kiss.  
It would be a while before he would be back. Jamie had met us right after we got back, and had followed down to Doc. He wanted to watch again, and Mel let him. He had already seen it one time, she said, so he could do it again.  
I would be the one to assist Doc this time. I knew how to do it, and I had done it before.  
It would be easy and quick. But I couldn't stop thinking about the last time I had done this.  
The Healers 'Why?' echoed in my thoughts.  
Ian tried to soothe me, and as always it worked.

It was easy and quick, just like I thought it would be.  
And there wasn't a 'why?' this time.  
Rises with the Sun was in the cryotank, and on the next raid we would drop her off so she could go back to the Flowers.  
All we had to do now was wait. We had agreed on three days. Then the body would need more then what we could give to it. The only thing we really got do was to make sure she wasn't dehydrated.  
I was going to sleep on one of the cots in the hospital. I really didn't like that feeling of sleeping alone, like I did in Ian's and my room. I couldn't take it. So I would sleep in the hospital.  
There would be people there when I fell asleep, and Doc would be there when I woke up.  
I was just about to fall asleep when Ian asked something.  
_I was just wondering... What you said to Kyle the other day, about why you saved him... It didn't sound like a lie, you were telling the truth. But why did you save him just because he looked like me?  
__I don't know. I just... couldn't do it. Mel wanted me to walk away, let him fall. And she had me almost convinced. But then I looked down on him, and he looked so relaxed, so peaceful. The resembalance too you was... I just couldn't leave him there.  
_I heard him sight, and then I drifted off to sleep.

The days flew by fast, and there was no change in my new body.  
She wouldn't wake up, so hopefully there was no one in there.  
We were prepering to remove me from Ian's body, and insert me in my new.  
There was only Doc, Mel, Jared and Kyle there. Jamie was at school, I had insisted to do this during the day. There wouldn't be soo much people  
there to watch. We were sitting on the cot, Doc taking out the right medicines for the surgery.  
All I thought about was Ian, and that we would be in each others arms soon.  
I was just about to put the Sleep on my tounge when I stopped, and lowered my hand.  
"Is something wrong?" Doc asked, looking at us.  
"No, not really..." I trailed off.  
_Wanda, what are you doing?  
__Don't worry, I'm getting you out of here. I just need something from you first.  
__Anything, you know that.  
__Promise me you'll wake up. Because I need you to wake up. I can't... I can't live without you Ian O'Shea.  
__I promise, okay? Because I can't live without you either. I love you, my Wanderer.  
__I love you too, with my whole soul.  
_I popped the Sleep on our tounge then, and waited for the effect. Ian had promised me, so I could do this.  
"Wanda, you didn't even give me that long of a goodbye. And you thought you would never see me again. It's not fair," Mel said, looking hurt. But she couldn't keep the facade up, and a smile broke free on her face.  
"Is that was she was doing?" I heard Jared mumble to her, but before she had the chance to answer him, I did.  
"That wasn't a goodbye. I just needed him to promise me something," I said, and then layed down on our stomach.  
"What did you make him promise you?" Jared asked, sounding curious, and then I heard Mel smacking him on the arm.  
"You really can't figure out the only thing she would possibly need from him right now, you idiot?"  
I didn't hear Jared's answer as we drifted off to sleep.

---

It felt like I had only been asleep for minutes when I woke up again. I didn't open my eyes, I was just listening to the voices around me. I didn't hear Ian, and I got worried.  
But not much, because I knew I shouldn't be. It would take longer for him to wake up, then it did for me. So I enjoyed the silence in my head for a short second, before I explored my new body.  
I was definatly longer, but I knew that already. I was probably a few inches longer then Mel.  
And I wouldn't have to stand on the tip of my toes whenever I wanted to kiss Ian.  
And I was stronger. That was good, now I could finally do the heavy, dirty job I couldn't do in Pet's body. This felt more like me, then any other body I had lived in in all my lives.  
I wasn't worried that Ian wouldn't like me like this. He had already proven to me that it was _me_ he loved, and not the body I was attached to at the moment. Thinking about Ian made me anxious, and I wanted to see him. How was he? Would he wake up soon? There was really only one way to find out, so I opened my eyes.

There was seven people standing around me, and one had the sapphire coloured eyes I'd wanted to see for so long now. But it was the wrong brother. Sunny was standing next to Kyle, clinging to his side and smiling my way. Even Kyle had a small smile on his lips. Doc and Mel was standing closest to me, right next to my cot, and Mel was holding my hand. Jamie and Jared was on either side of her, giving me small smiles. And then there was Jeb. I couldn't really read his emotions, he had his poker face on. I only looked at him for a short second before I turned to Doc. I knew there was still questions I hadn't answered, and new ones to answer, but I couldn't think of that right now.  
Not now, when I had a question myself.  
"Ian?" My voice sounded more worried then I felt, and I figured this body didn't handle too well with emotions. But I was worried, I couldn't deny that.  
"He's doing just fine," Doc answered me, trying to reasure me, and looking to my right.  
And there, behind Kyle and Sunny, was another cot. Ian's unconsious body laid on it. He looked peaceful, like he was sleeping. And in a way I guessed it was like sleeping, only I didn't know if he would ever wake up from this one. I shook my head slightly, trying to shake the thought away. Ian had promised me he would wake up, that he wouldn't leave me. And I had to trust him.  
"He's going to wake up, Wanda," Mel said, soothingly. But I didn't look at her, my eyes never left Ian.  
I slowly got up into sitting position, and then I stood up, leaving the cot. They made room for me as I walked up to Ian.  
"Do you want something to sit on, Wanda?" Jamie asked me, and I shook my head.  
I didn't need anything to sit on, since I wouldn't be sitting.  
"How long since...?" I trailed off, not being able to finsish the question.  
"Only an hour and a half." That wasn't long at all. I had hoped for a longer time. Ian wouldn't wake up for hours, I thought as I climbed up on the cot and laid down next to him.  
It wasn't hard to find a comfortable position, even with Ian sprawled all across the tiny cot.  
I wrapped one of my arms around his waist, and put my head on his chest so I could hear every beat his heart was taking. I put my free hand in his ink black hair, so I could run my fingers through it.  
I knew that if I just could relax, I would fall asleep in a second to the sound of Ian's even breaths.  
But my stomach had other plans, and made itself know. But no other than me seemed to notice, and that was good, because no way in hell I would leave Ian's side right now. Not even for something to eat. As long as Ian was unconsious I would lay here with him.  
I let one single tear run down my cheek before I drifted off to sleep again.  
Ian was here because of me, and I might never see him again, because of me.  
No matter what Ian had said to convince me other wise, this was all my fault.

* * *

**Sorry about the lenght. It was longer at first, but I changed it and put the other in the next chapter.  
Chapter 6 will probably come up tomorrow, or the day after.  
I have up till chapter 8 finished, and I won't write anything for a few days.  
Alot going on in school right now. But I will update, since I have finished some chapters that are just waiting to be uploaded. **

**Let me know what you think, and tell me if you have some idea's ^^**


	6. Chapter 6

**I know most of you have been waiting for this, and I couldn't let my favorite couple be apart for so long.  
So here it is - Wanda and Ian are finally together again.**

* * *

It was very light when I opened my eyes again, and there wasn't so many people there anymore.  
Only Doc, Mel and Jared. Mel and Jared were talking a few metres away, and Doc was examining Ian.  
"Good morning Wanda, how are you feeling?"  
Mel and Jared seemed surprised by Doc's words, and they turned to look at me.  
"Wanda, you're awake," Mel sighted, seeming visibly relaxed and happy.  
I didn't move, still with one arm around Ian, when I talked.  
"How long was I asleep?" My voice was thick with sleep, and sounding hoarse.  
Doc answered me, smiling.  
"Five hours, maybe six. How are you?"  
I sighted, knowing it would still be a few hours until Ian should wake up.  
"I'm good," I lied, but no one seemed to notice. Or they knew I was lying for myself.  
"You hungry?" Mel asked me, and I lied again. I knew she heard the lie in my voice by the look she gave me, but I didn't care. She would have to drag me to the kitchen if she wanted me to eat, because I wouldn't leave Ian's side. And she knew that, and that's probably why she didn't argue with me on this one. She did have a chance of winning if she choose to fight with me over this, I was stubborn in my new body. Just like Mel.  
Jared took Mel's hand, and started to walk away, as he spoke over his shoulder.  
"We'll be back in an hour, we're just getting something to eat."  
When I was sure we were alone, I spoke again.  
"Doc, please tell me the truth. How is he?"  
"Everything looks good, but there are no changes."  
"What does that mean?"  
"I don't know. But he should wake up soon," he smiled at me, trying to reasurre me. But it didn't help. He patted my arm gently.  
"Are you okay alone for half an hour or so? I'm just getting something to eat."  
"Doc, I'm fine. Go, eat something. See you soon."  
"Goodbye, Wanda."  
"Bye, Doc," I mumbled.

I laid there for awhile, alone in the quiet hospital, just hugging Ian with all I had in me, willing him to wake up. I was feeling his even breaths, his chest go up and down and I tried to not worry. But how could I not worry? It's Ian, the love of my lives, laying on that cot next to me.  
"Ian, are you there? I know you can hear me. I love you, and I need you to wake up. Well, I should probably introduce myself, seeing as you don't recognize this voice." I chuckled lightly. "But I guess you know it's me? Me – Wanda, Wanderer, the love of your life... Ian, please wake up. I need you. You're the love of all my lives, and I need you. I can't understand how you could wait for me all that time not so long ago. I can't even bare a few hours." I needed him with me, I needed to see the sapphire, and not just the midnight and snow.  
"Ian, you promised me. And I need you to keep that promise, okay? Because I can't live without you."  
I got up on one elbow, so I could see him more clearly. I put one of my hand on his face, and leaned closer so I could touch his lips with mine. But there was no movement, no respone, and as my lips left his, tears were running down my face. I didn't even care to dry them off, I didn't care if anyone saw me like this. I needed to cry out.  
"Wanda?" I heard Mel's soft voice, but I didn't look up. Didn't show her I had heard her.  
And then I felt one of her hands on my arm, comforting me. She dragged me up in a hug, and I needed that from her. From my sister.  
I wrapped my arms around her neck, and cried. She didn't say anyting as she waited the tears out, and eventully they did end. But she didn't let me go.  
"I'm sorry, Wanda." But she didn't need to be sorry for anything.  
"For what?" My voice was thick with the tears I'd just spilled.  
"For not believing you in the first place. I should have."  
"Don't worry. I would have doubted us, too."  
"That doesn't change anything. Now, come on." She pulled out from the hug, and tried to drag me along with her.  
"I'm not going anywhere," I said determinated.  
"Wanda, you're hungry and you need to eat."  
"No, I'm not."  
She looked at me, and I knew she knew I was lying.  
"I heard your stomach growl before you fell asleep, and that was almost seven hours ago. I'm not letting you starve yourself." She, too, was determinated.  
"I'm not leaving Ian."  
"So you think Ian would like you to starve yourself, by sitting by his side, or would he want to too eat something?" She was getting angry at me, but I could take that. But she was right, so I sighted.  
"Give me a tray then."  
"No, you're coming out to the kitchen with me. There are people who want's to see you. Come on."  
I shook my head, telling her I wasn't leaving Ian without words. She sighted, and shook her head, too.  
"Wanda, do you really want me to drag you out there?" She was annoyed, I could tell. But I wasn't giving in.  
"I'm not in Pet's body anymore, I have muscles now."  
"Maybe I can't do it, but Jared or Kyle will." She turned around and started walking.  
"No, wait!" I couldn't let either Jared or Kyle do that, espacially not Kyle. I had put his brother in this position, all I could do, besides waiting, was to go nicely.  
She turned and looked at me, looking smug. She knew I would give in.  
"Okay, I'm coming with you. But we better hurry, I'm going to be here when he wakes up," I muttred and got down from the cot after gently pressing my lips to Ian's forehead.  
"I'll be right back, Mel's forcing me out to the kitchen. Just... I'll be back soon, love you," I whispered and then followed Mel.

We didn't meet many people at our way to the kitchen, most were working at this time I guessed.  
But I was surprised to see how many people were in the kitchen. It was crowded.  
"Mel, did you plan this?" I whispered at her. I still had red puffy eyes after the crying, and I was a mess. So I didn't really want to see everyone right now. She just gave me a smile that clearly showed me she had in fact planned this.  
"Mel, it took you long enough. We were planning on going down there and dragging her up," Jared said, smiling my way.  
"I actually had to threaten her to make her go with me," Mel said, sitting down.  
Doc was standing, putting some food on a plate for me, and then put it down on the table next to Mel. So I sat down next to her.  
"It's good to have you back, Wanda," someone said, but my mind where somewhere else, in the hospital with Ian.  
I heard some people talking to me, but since I didn't answer, they turned to someone else, and eventually they left. I didn't eat much, I just took one bite and then my stomach twisted. I pushed the food away, and Mel and Jamie looked worringly at me. They, beside Jeb, was the only ones left.  
"Wanda, you need to eat," Mel said, and I shook my head. Jamie immidiatly pushed his plate away and looked stubborn.  
"Jamie, that's not going to work this time."  
"You don't know that." I could tell he was determinated to do this.  
"Yes I do know. Because I can't eat. My stomach is twisting. I'm too worried to do anything."  
Then I turned to look at Mel.  
"Speaking of, I'm going back now. I've been here long enough." As I spoke, I got up and started walking. I hoped he had woken up, but in a way I wanted to be there when he did.  
Mel quickly catched up with me, and put an arm around me.  
"How are you, Wanda, really?"  
"To be honest, I hate this. I feel so helpless, so... I can't even explain it. And I won't get any better before he wakes up."

We heard voices from the hospital, that was right around the corner now, and one voice in particular.  
"WHERE IS SHE? WHERE IS WANDA?"  
I ran around the corner, not believing my ears.  
But there he stood, with the back against me. Ian was finally awake.  
Tears were running down my face again, but they didn't fit in with the smile on my face.  
"Ian, calm down first," Doc said, calmly.  
"I won't calm down until you tell me where she is!" Ian roared to answer.  
No one seemed to notice me, standing in the mouth of the door.  
"Ian," I sobbed, my voice was only a whisper. But I didn't have to repeat myself. As soon he heard me, he turned around and relief and happiness was mixed all over his face.  
I took four long strides, and then I was in his arms. His wonderful, strong arms. I hadn't realized how much I had really missed them until I had them around me again.  
He wrapped them around me, and I locked my arms around his neck. I would never let go of him again. If I could, I would be attached to his arms forever.  
"Shh, don't cry. Please Wanda, don't," he whispered in my ear.  
"I thought I'd lost you, that you wouldn't wake up," I sobbed back.  
He pulled me out of the hug, so he was looking in my eyes. His sapphire boring into my silver.  
He placed his hands on both sides of my face, and then he spoke again.  
"I promised I would wake up, didn't I? And how could I ever break a promise to you?" he leaned his forehead against mine, and gave me a warm smile.  
"I've missed that smile," I said, tears still running down my cheek.  
"And those eyes, -" I said, still staring into them. Then I gently ran my thumb over his lower lip, "and you're lips," I said the words, and then his lips was on mine, attacking them. Life was normal again, and this kiss was perfect. His lips moved with mine, as if they would never divide again. The fire burned where his skin touched mine. My whole body was on fire, and it felt great to have that feeling again. But the kiss had to end, this time because of the people around us.  
"Hey, okay – you missed each other, I get that – but could you _please_ continue that somewhere else, some place there's no people around to watch? " Kyle groaned, and both Ian and I chuckled. It was great to hear the sound of that again.  
He still had his arms around me, and his forehead was on mine, our noses almost touching.  
"So, the truth this time, how old are you?"  
I hadn't thought about that before, so I had to search for the answer. But I smiled when I found it.  
"Twentyone," I said, nothing but the truth in my words, and he gave me a small kiss on the lips.  
"What do you mean, 'the truth this time'?" Jared asked.  
He didn't break our eyecontact as he answered him.  
"She lied when she said she was eightteen," he sighted, smiling, letting me know it was really okay.  
"You weren't eightteen?" Doc asked, sounding a little bit surprised.  
"I can't believe you actually believed that lie, I was so small in Pet's body," I said.  
"So how old where you?" Mel asked then.  
"I only gave a small lie, adding one year."  
"Then why lie? One year can't –" Mel started but I cut her off my looking at her.  
"What?"  
"You of all people should know that one year can make a big difference," I said, looking at her, then at Jared, and back at Mel again. I could almost see the light turn on over her head when she figured it out.  
"Oh, I guess you had a good reason then," she said, looking at Ian, smiling.  
"Mel, it isn't like that," I said, knowing what she had in mind.  
"Oh, not yet," she was smug, looking my way. If I would have been in Pet's body still, I would have turned crimson by now.  
"What the hell are you talking about?" Kyle demanded, curious.  
I let Mel explain, turning my attention back to Ian, looking into his beautiful eyes. My anchor.  
"When I met Jared, he thought I was too young, but I didn't think so. I was seventeen, and I could take care of myself. He made me wait, and that year he made me wait, - let's just say I don't want to go through that again... Wanda knows that, so she lied." I didn't listen to Kyle's response, as I was talking to Ian.  
"I'm sorry. I wanted to be here when you woke up, but Mel dragged me to the kitchen to get something to eat."  
"And you did, didn't you?"  
I made a grimace, thinking about the way my stomach had twisted, and he took that as a no.  
"Why not?"  
"I couldn't. I was too worried. But I bet I'd be able to eat now, though."  
"I can't believe I found someone as good as you."  
"It's the other way around." He kissed me again, passionatly. But not too much, only enough too make Kyle grunt again.  
"Come on," Ian took my hand, and started walking with me.  
"Hey, where you going?" Kyle asked then.  
"We are going some place where there are no people around to watch. Don't follow," Ian said over his shoulder, smiling and winking at me. It was easier to follow in his long strides in this body, and it only took a few minutes to be at our room. But he stopped me outside.  
"Wait here, okay?"  
"What are you doing?"  
"Just wait," he said, and then moved one of the doors, and closed it after him.

It took a minute before he opened it again. He took my wrist, and pulled me inside, closing the door after him. When we were alone in the room, his lips came down on mine again. This kiss lasted long, but not as long as the first kiss had. But it was still just as wonderful.  
"What was that all about?" I asked him, refering to leaving me outside.  
"You know that wall you tried to break through a few times?" I nodded at him to continue. I was curious now.  
"There was something I didn't want you to know. I was planning on doing something the night we would have gotten home from the raid, and I'm going to do it now insted. Better late than never, right?" He took a deep breath, smiling at me.  
"Ian, what are you talking about?" I was confused.  
"Wanda, ever since I met you it has felt like I'm whole. I haven't felt like this since we were a family – me, Kyle, mom, dad and my sister, -" that surprised me, I hadn't known he had a sister. But I didn't do or say anything, I let him continue, -"I felt complete when I was with them, loved. But then there was only me and Kyle, and something was missing. I knew it was the love. I had gotten along well with just the love from my family, and I thought that was what I was missing. But I was wrong. Because I met you, and I fell. Fell hard. I realized it wasn't _that_ sort of love I'd missed, it was _this_ love. This love with you." He stopped talking for a second, and pulled something from his pocket. Something small, glistening. Silver, a ring. His eyes were burning in the dark, the blue penetrating.  
"Wanderer, I'm madly in love with you, and you know I can't live without you. Will you marry me?"  
I was speechless, and I didn't know what to say. Well, I knew _what_ to say, I just didn't know _how.  
_I knew what I wanted, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. And I wanted to kiss him senseless. I choosed the last alternitive. This kiss was about everything. Our past, our present, our future, our love... I gave him my 'yes' with this kiss.  
I wanted more them anything to marry Ian, to live my forever with him. He was my life, everything I cared about.  
When our lips broke apart for a few seconds I whispered the word to him, and he put the ring on my finger.  
It felt wonderful there, and it would be there forever. Then our lips meet again.

* * *

**Let me know what you think.  
Should I have wrote it in another way, did he propose too soon?  
Did you expect him to propose, and in that case, when?**

Reviews make me happy, so review ^^


	7. Chapter 7

I must have fallen asleep in Ian's arms, eventually.  
When I woke up I was laying on him, and he was running his fingers through my hair. I snuggled closer, smiling. I was in Ian's arms again. In my_ fiancés_ arms.  
"You're awake," he whispered, happy.  
"How long was I asleep?"  
"It's morning," he answered me. I had been sleeping the whole night then. I'd never thought that was possible, I had been sleeping in the day. But maybe releasing all the worry had made me tired again.  
"I love you."  
"I love you, too, Wanda. So much."  
I was playing with the ring on my finger, so simple but yet so beautiful. I smiled even more. Ian noticed, and pulled me closer to his body. As if that was even possible.  
"It belonged to my mother. She gave it to me before... before all of this." His voice was sad, from the memories I guessed. And I also guessed he would tell me his story. Everyone had stories, from their past lives. That's what they called it, their lives before the caves.  
_The past life. _He hadn't told me this before, I didn't even know he had a sister before yesterday. And I hadn't looked for his story, I wanted _him_ to be the one to tell me some day.  
In a way, I guess I wanted him to tell me. I _wanted_ to know him before the caves. But if it made him sad to talk about it, he shouldn't do it. But he did.  
"My mom Patricia, or Trish, like dad called her... she was full of love, and happiness. She had blond hair, and blue eyes. She was beautiful. She was very understanding, and knew when Kyle or I didn't want to talk about something. In the beginning, when we were young, she was the best mother. Kissed the bruises, and stuff like that. And when we got older, she became a best friend while still the best mom. I remember one day, I was fourteen, and I liked this girl...-" Ian's voice was thick, on the edge of tears, -" The girl I liked, I don't even remember her name, she got together with someone else. And I was heartbroken. When I got home from school that day, I was sad and depressed. Mom noticed, and guessed what it was about. She said 'Don't let a girl get in the way of your happiness. It's just a girl. One day you're going to meet _the_ girl. And that's when it all counts.' She hugged me, and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"My dad, Craig, was different, but in a way he wasn't. He was strong, tall and had black, tousled hair with green eyes. But he was just like mom in personality. Understanding, full of love.  
But he worked alot, he was almost never home. When he was, though, he spent the entire time with us. Taking us on trips, having fun. He and mom loved each other so much, and they spread the love where ever they went. Everyone could see that they were very much in love. They were soulmates.

"They meet in High school, and stayed together through everything. They got married after collage, and then Kyle was born. Kyle was alone for a year and a half, then my sister Amanda was born. She was - _is _- two years older then I am, and she was the opposite of Kyle. He was the wild child, and she did nothing wrong. She inherited mom's blond locks, and Kyle and I got dad's black hair. All of us has the same blue eyes. Amanda was, she too, one of my best friends. Nothing like a sister. We never arguied, like Kyle and I. We arguied all the time, and since he's older he won all the time. Amanda was there to comfort me, if mom wasn't." Tears were running down his cheek now, and I couldn't let him do this anymore.  
"Ian, you don't have to tell me this. I don't want you to be sad."  
"But I have too, Wanda. I haven't told anyone this, I don't even talk to Kyle about it. And I need to tell someone, and I want that someone to be you." I didn't answer him, knowing he was right. He needed to talk to someone about it.  
And I would listen to whatever he had to say. He took a deep breath, and then started talking again.

"Mom and dad was one of the first people to find out about Jeb and this caves. Only they didn't know where they were. Somewhere in Arizona, was all they knew. I was twentyone at the time, alone. Amanda had Ethan, and Kyle had Jodi. Amanda lived with Ethan in New York, and Jodi's parents insisted she would live with them. Kyle was planning on proposing to Jodi, but they agreed she should go with her parents. So mom, dad, Kyle and I went to look for the caves, in hope they did exist. That they weren't only rumors. We would find both Jodi and Amanda, and bring them here if we found them.

"We were at a hotel near by, when mom and dad was just walking to the store, leaving me and Kyle on the hotel. They never got back. Kyle and I waited for days, before we realized they wouldn't."  
His story was horrible, and I could feel tears stung in my eyes.  
"We took the car, and went looking for Jeb and the others alone." He took one, shaking breath.  
"I still don't know if Amanda, mom and dad are out there. Humans, occupied or dead. I miss them, and I try to not think about them. It was hard before I meet you. It get's easier every day, to live with the fact that I don't know what happened to them and I never will."  
It was quiet for a while, and I didn't know what to say. Tears were running down my face now, like they did on Ian. We just laid there holding each other.  
"I don't know what to say to make you feel any better," I whispered, my voice breaking.  
"You don't have to say anything. You're helping me with just being here. You're my soulmate, like mom was dad's and Jodi Kyle's. And if it weren't for all of this, losing my parents and sister and friends, I wouldn't of found you. I would have been alone my whole life, never meeting my true love. Because she is right here, in my arms. And I won't let go. So maybe it was destiny, you ending up in Mel's body. Her love for Jared and Jamie brought you here, and I met you."  
I got up on my elbow, so I could see his face. The tears were drying, and he had a small smile on his lips. The sapphire were more penetrating then ever.  
"Wanderer, you're the love of my life. You are the girl mom talked about all the time. And I will always love you."  
"And you're the love of all my lives, Ian O'Shea. Thank you for letting my know this part of you."  
He placed one of his hands on my cheek, and got up so he could place a kiss on my lips.  
It was gentle, chaste and full of love. Even this small kiss, in this sad moment, made my heart flutter.  
It didn't last for long, and I layed down on his chest again. We didn't say anything, we didn't need to.  
I would lay here all day in my fiancés arms, being happy. But my body wanted otherwise, and made itself known. So I groaned in defeat.  
"Wanda, whats wrong?" Ian murmured, a slight hint of worry in his voice.  
"Nothing, really. I just wanted to lay here all day long in your arms, but... I'm starving, and I really need to pee. Like right now." I groaned again, and Ian laughted. He released me from his arms and got up, taking my hand and pulling me up with him.  
He kissed me when standing, and I forgot about my hunger again.  
"Or, I could just stay here all day, like I was planning to..." I mumbled against his lips, and he smiled.´  
"No, you're eating something. And we've been gone for a long time, so I have a feeling people are getting worried about us," he took my hand again, and started walking toward the bathing room. We didn't meet anyone on our way there, everyone was working at this time of day. Or eating.

Ian was relucant to release my hand when we stopped, and so was I. I never wanted to leave his side again, even if it was neccesary. And I really had to go to the bathroom, so I dropped it and hurried.  
Ian was still standing at the same place when I got back, and he placed his hand in mine the second I was close enough.  
We walked to the kitchen, where only Mel and Jeb was.  
"Where is everyone?" Ian asked, looking around.  
"There's still work to do," Jeb said, looking at Mel, and then left, leaving us behind. Mel gave us a look that clearly asked what we had been doing all this time, and then was about to leave. But I had something to tell her.  
"Mel, could you wait a second?" She turned to look at us, with a small smile.  
"So, going to tell me what you did all night?"  
I looked at Ian, and we both smiled. I asked him with my eyes if I could tell her. He smiled and nodded, understanding my question, and I dropped his hand to walk up to Mel. I placed my hands on her shoulder and looked her in the eyes.  
"Don't tell anyone about this. Promise me?"  
"I don't know what you're talking about, but okay." But she would tell Jared, I knew that.  
"Not even Jared." She sighted, but nodded at me to continue. So I told her.  
"Last night when we got back to our room, Ian... let's just say he's more than a 'boyfriend' to me know."  
"Oh, I knew you did it! Was it good?"

"Mel, let me finish?" I interuppted her, blushing, and she nooded. I heard Ian chuckle from behind us.  
"I said he's more than a boyfriend, not because of _that_, but because of this..." I said, and showed her the ring. She just stood there for a second, before she seemed to understand.  
"Oh my god, Wanda! I'm so happy for you!" she said, screaming, and attacked me with a hug.  
I hugged her back, and mirrored her smile. I could hear Ian laughing at her reaction, mumbling 'girls' and then Kyle's voice was behind us.  
"What's with the screaming? You're giving us all a headache. And what's with the smile on you're face, bro?" Mel had released me by now, and were looking all ecstatic at me.  
"You know mom's ring.." I heard Ian begin, before Mel was half shrieking again.  
"_Mom's_ ring? That's so... perfect," she said, and hugged me again. I was just as happy.  
I laughed, and looked at her.  
"Mel, I knew you would be happy, but _this_ happy? You're acting like Jared was the one to propose.. Oh, did he?"  
"No, but Wanda, you're my sister. And you're getting married. When? How did he ask? Was it romantic? How did you react?" She was asking her questions with no time for me to answer them.  
"Mel, calm down. Deep breaths. I can tell you the story later. And we haven't really talked about when. So calm down, and stop screaming. The whole place will know if you don't stop."  
"Mel, Wanda, what's the shouting about?" Jared's voice was behind Kyle, who looked shocked, and Ian was smiling at him, looking like he would  
start laughing any second.  
"Hey, I leave ya alone for two seconds, and then screaming starts, what the hell people?" Jeb's voice asked then, with Doc and Jamie behind him.  
"You really did have to scream, did you?," I groaned, and she laughed.  
"You have to tell them sometime anyway. So you might as well do it now."  
I glared at her, and then took a plate of food, my hunger winning over my happiness.  
I walked up to Ian, took his hand, and then sat down. I had taken food for him too, and we both started eating. I took a few bites before I talked. Mel was all bouncy, and Jared was looking all weird at her, cleary asking what all of this was about.  
"Mel, please don't scream again," I laughted, and squeezed Ian's hand. But suddently I didn't know what to say. It was easy to tell Mel, because she was my sister. We knew everything about each other, so it was easy to share this with her.  
"Ian?" I said, looking at him. He smiled, understanding what I wanted, and gave me a kiss.  
Mel had the greatest smile on her face, and the other still had no idea. Except for Kyle, who didn't look so shocked any more. He even gave us a small smile. He really had changed for the better.  
"The night we should of came home from the raid, I was planning on doing something. It was hard to keep it a secret from Wanda, but she wasn't looking that much. Thought I'd show her later. And I did, last night. Maybe not show, as much as _ask._" He had a big grin on his face, and I mirrored it. Mel's bouncy mood was rubbing off on me, and I couldn't really sit still next to Ian.  
"I just remembered I didn't see it!" Mel said before anyone had the time to react, or even letting Ian tell the full story. She took the seat opposite from me and Ian and she held her hand out, waving to give her mine. I put it in her hand, and she smiled even bigger when she saw the ring on it.  
"It's beautiful," she whispered in awe.  
Kyle was next to speak.  
"It looks good on you," he said, and it felt like he was accepting me into the family. Allowed me to wear his mom's ring. I could feel tears sting in my eyes as he looked at me.  
"Thank you." Kyle and Ian was the only one who truly knew how much that ring meant to their family.  
"And I'm sorry," I whispered, still looking at him. He realized I talked about the history of the ring, and the family it belonged too. His eyes fixed on Ian then.  
"You told her?"  
"Of course I did."  
"Why?" Kyle's voice was disbelieving. Maybe I was wrong, and he didn't accept me after all.  
"Because I needed to tell someone, Kyle. I haven't talked about it, and I can't talk to you about it. I can't even talk to my own brother about this, and you were a part of it. That's insane. But you just pushed it away, pretending like everything was okay. But it's not, not really. Because we don't know _anything_, anything at all. And I _need_ to talk to someone about it. The only one I feel like telling, the only one I can _really_ talk to, is Wanda. I want her to know _all _about me. She's my Trish. -" he said in a sad tone, using the name his father had called his mother, -"She's my Jodi, Kyle." He pulled me closer to him, and I followed willingly. This was hard for Ian, I saw that, I_ knew_ that. His entire family could still be out there, and he didn't even know about it. I just wished there was some way, some way at all, to at least know.  
It was very quiet for awhile, Ian and Kyle glaring at each other.  
"I guess you placed the ring on the right girl then, Ian," Kyle mumbled then, and I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. I hadn't broken the ties between the two brothers, not this time.

We got congratulations from everyone standing there, and I thought I didn't have to tell anyone anything more, and concentrate on the food infront of me. But Mel wanted answers.  
"It's later. Tell me everything," she demanded, smiling.  
"Why don't you let her at least eat first?" Ian suggested, and I smiled. But Mel didn't.  
"Come on Wanda, eat at the same time. I wan't to know, and I'm sure the rest would like to know how he proposed, too."  
"Yes, that would be a very interesting story to hear," Jeb said, as he took a seat. He had always been intresting in my stories, but I didn't think he would be in this one.  
"Don't you all have work to do?" Trudy said as she entered the kitchen, and saw us standing in a small circle.  
"Oh, hi Ian. It's good to see that you're awake," she smiled at him.  
"I think we all can take a short break from the working," Jeb said, looking at me.  
"That's got to be the first time I've heard you say that. What's going on?"  
"Take a seat and Wanda will tell you." Jeb was clearly one hundred percent sure he wanted to hear this story, even letting people take a break from the work. And Mel knew I couldn't resist that sad look on her face.  
"Okay, then. Have a seat. So, who's telling this? You or I?" I looked at Ian, but Jamie answered before he did.  
"He can tell us _how_, and you tell us the reaction." Jamie was like his sister, ecstatic about this. I sighted, but nodded.  
"Ian, tell us _every_thing."  
"You all know I love her very much, and I wanted to take it a step further. Like I said, I was planning on doing at the night we would of come back from the raid. But things didn't work out, as you know. It was harder to keep it a secret from her when we got back here, into our room. She noticed the wall I had put up, and she wanted to know what I was hiding. Of course I didn't tell her. All I said was that she would find out soon enough. So yesterday, I stopped her outside the room, and walked inside to take out the ring. Then I let her in, and asked."  
Mel wasn't happy with his words, and wanted more details.  
"I don't remember _exactly_ what he said, -" only I did, of course I remembered every word that had come out from his lips, -"something about making him feel whole again. Then he took out the ring, and said 'Wanderer, I'm madly in love with you, and you know I can't live without you. Will you marry me?'" I looked up at Ian, his eyes so full of love that it made my own moist. I leaned up the few inches there was between us, and kissed him. I heard someone mumble somehing, and my lips left Ian's. When I turned my attention back to the people around us, I could see Mel was close to tears. This was stupid, why was _she_ close to tears?  
"How did you react?" Mel whispered, not trusting her voice.  
"Like you are just listening to the story. I started crying like a crazy person, and kissed him."  
Mel composed herself before she said something.  
"Okay, we got a wedding to plan."  
"Eh, Mel? Ian and I haven't had the time to even discuss this. And I was planning on spending the whole day with him. _Just_ him. But my stomach wanted otherwise. So we haven't even talked about it," I tried to explain to her I wanted to be alone today, spending it with the love of my lives.  
She looked at me, looking like she was trying to solve a puzzle.  
"Fine. But _we are_ going to plan a wedding. Soon."  
"Promise," I said and gave her a smile.  
"Jeb, I'm taking the day off today," I said, looking at him.  
"So do I," Ian said, pulling me closer to his side.  
"Sure, sure. Losing all the people to work today," he muttered, before he continued.  
"Okay, everyone, back to work. We ain't got all day."  
Jeb started walking, all the other following him, and Ian and I were finally alone again.  
"Ian?" Doc's head peeked into the kitchen. "Could you come by the hospital later? Since I didn't had the time to examine you yesterday..." Doc asked, and I who thought we were alone. Ian nodded, and we followed him right away. The sooner the better. We would be alone soon enough.

* * *

**So, chapter seven is uploaded everyone. I didn't think I would write this story so far. I had planned on just writing a few chapters, about Ian and Wanda getting captured and their way back to eachother. So I was planning on stopping after chapter six, but I had alot of ideas, and I'm going to write them. So I have no idea of how long this story will be in the end, maybe 15 chapters?  
That depends on how much more ideas I'll get, and maybe you have some ideas, too. Let me know in that case.  
Officially I have nine chapters done, and I'm going to start write on the next one soon.**

The next time I'll upload is probably on monday, since I'm gone the whole weekend. 

**Well, let me know what you think and review.  
Btw, still need more reviews on _Reading the Host_ if I'm going to write it. **


	8. Chapter 8

The weeks passed by quickly, everything turning back to normal.  
I liked the fact that I could really work in this body, and everyone didn't have to help me all the time.  
But Ian did as soon as I let him, and it was a nice change from time to time.  
This time it was much more easy to change body. I had experienced it twice, and I knew what to expect. So I didn't have a really hard time to control the emotions, and my bodies needs. Although, I had it much easier to cry in this body. I was emotional in that way.  
Like with the blushing in Pet's body, it wasn't always that convinient. But it worked, and I got used to this body in only a few days.  
Rises with the Sun hadn't really had that much people around her, and I felt bad for her because of that. But that also meant there was no one for me to miss, and that maybe she could get a much better life with the Flowers.  
Everything was perfect between me and Ian, like it was meant to be. I loved the little things he did for me everyday, and I returned it as much as I could.  
It never went longer then kisses with us. I hadn't experienced that kind of intimacy before, only in Mel's memories. Neither had this body. She, too, was only used with the kissing part. Ian didn't seem to mind, and he didn't push me. We didn't talk about it either, we just stopped when thing's got overheated. It's not that I wasn't ready, I was. I trusted Ian with my life, and I loved him.  
It just never seemed to be the right time for _that._

Mel had almost choked on her soup when I told her I wanted her to be my bridesmaid.  
Like that was such a big surprise, but it wasn't. I didn't have to think twice when I chosed her.  
We hadn't really decided when, or how, or who to marry us. But I wanted Doc to be the one.  
Not only because I trust him, but because he is such a good person, and even though I was scared of him at first he is one of the one I love the most in this caves. He would be perfect for the job.

But as the weeks passed, the next raid got closer and closer.  
I wasn't comfortable with Ian going, and he didn't want me to go. So we agreed that, since they needed me, we would both go. They couldn't use Sunny, not because she wasn't trusted. She was. Just the fact that Kyle didn't let her go. And that meant Kyle didn't go either. It seemed to me, and most people, that Kyle had come to love her in a way no one thought was possible. For so long he had called me a worm, and didn't like the fact that his brother had 'a crush' on one of them. But things had changed since he met Sunny. Changed for the better.  
Maybe it was because of the thought that Jodi might come back, or he just liked _Sunny.  
_"We're almost out of everything, we need to go on a new raid," Jared said in the opening of our room.  
I was just about to fall asleep when Jared had knocked on the door.  
"Mm, yeah, we can go tomorrow," Ian murmured, half asleep.  
Jared nodded and then left us for sleep. We always sleept in each others arms, Ian holding me.

When we woke up I was all tangled in with Ian's legs, and I almost tripped when I was climbing out of bed. Ian catched me, and held me on his chest.  
"Watch where you going, don't want any bruises," he mumbled, his eyes boring into mine.  
"But maybe I wanted to fall. Maybe I wanted you to catch me, right?" I mumbled back before his lips met mine.  
The kiss quickly changed, became more passionate, more deep.  
He rolled us over so that I was on my back, and he was on top of me. But he made sure his weight wasn't on me. I grabbed his hair in my right hand as I felt his tounge slide over my lower lip.  
I pulled him closer to me, liking the way his body felt against mine. How it made my whole body burn, my heart flutter, my breath hitching. My hands started to explore him, moving from his hair, down his strong arms, tracing over his chest...  
My head started to spin, from the kissing or the loss of breath, I didn't know, and Ian's lips left mine only to move down my jaw line to the hollow of my throat. He kissed and sucked, making me shudder and my heart flutter faster. His lips left my throat and searched for my lips then. When he found my mouth he didn't hesitate before he shoved his tounge inside.  
My hands seemed to have a mind of their own as the moved from his chest to cup his face on both sides, pulling him closer. None of us had much experience about this, but this felt right and I let my instincts take over, and lead me. They led me back to his chest, only to remove his shirt.  
But it didn't go that well, and he laughted as he had to help me. He throwed it behind him, and it landed somewhere on the floor. His lips explored my body, as my hands explored his. Every kiss he placed on my skin made me shudder, and eventually I couldn't take it anymore. So I took his head in my hands, and led it back up to mine.  
He pulled us up a little bit so that he could remove his t-shirt that I was wearing, and then laid me back on the matress. His lips found mine again, but they left them all too soon.  
"Oh," I heard Jared gasp behind us, and I probably turned crimson. How much had he seen?  
When I looked up I saw him standing in the doorway with his back against us, and that gave me a chance to put the shirt back on. Ian quickly gave it to me, after placing a small kiss on my lips.  
"What do you want?"  
Jared still stood with his back against us as he answered.  
"Yeah, I just came by to tell you guys it was time to go soon. Didn't think you'd be awake..."  
"You can turn around," I said, gently.  
"I'm gonna go, see you in five in the kitchen," I could hear that he was uncomfortable and then he left, leaving us.  
I started to laugh and Ian looked at me, raising one of his black eyebrows.  
"I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm laughing. He just looked so... uncomfortable," I laughed and Ian smiled at me and shook his head.  
"You're crazy, Wanderer." He got up and found a new shirt to put on, along with a pair of dark jeans.  
I couldn't stop looking at his beautiful body, and wonder how I deserved someone like him. He turned to look at me, still on the matress. I was still looking at him.  
"What?" I got up, and walked up to him, locking my arms around his neck.  
"What did I do to deserve someone as good as you?"  
"You got that the wrong way. I'm the one who should ask _you_ that."  
With that he placed a chaste kiss on my lips, and I got dressed.  
I put on a pair of jeans and a dark crow neck shirt with long sleeves. It was good to have more clothes to be able to choose from.  
This time Ian chuckled.  
"What?"  
"You sure you want to wear that?"  
"Yeah, why?"  
"Nothing at all, for _me._ But it might be a problem to _you_ that this shirt is very much showing your neck."  
I could feel my eyes grew wider by the second, and I turned around to look for the mirror I knew was in here somewhere. I found it under the shirt Ian had tossed to the floor only minutes ago. I was horrified with what I saw, and Ian laughed at my reaction.  
"Ian, it's not funny!" My lips were red and swollen, and there was a massive purple and blue mark on my throat.  
"This is your fault," I muttred and looked at him.  
"It's okay. No one will notice."  
"Yeah right, and unicorns are for real," I muttred.  
"Jared and Mel are going to make fun of me for the next month," I groaned as Ian walked up to me, and played around with my hair.  
"No one will see it if you leave your hair like that. You can't really get yourself a hickey, so it's me they're going to make fun of. Now come on, or Jared's going to come by again," Ian smiled at me and I groaned again as he placed my hand in his and we started walking.

I stopped us right outside the kitchen, frowning.  
"Ian, are you sure no one's going to see it?" I whispered at him, and he grinned at me, making most of my worries disappear.  
"Wanda, you look perfect, and no one is going to see it. Come on."  
Mel, Jared and Jeb was the only one in the kitchen. It was too early for anyone to be awake. Jared looked uncomfortable again as he saw us walk inside, and I groaned again.  
"Jeb, you coming along?" I asked before anyone had the chance to say anything.  
"Mmh, are you two love birds done so we can go?"  
I could feel my cheeks getting warmer and redder by the moment, and I gave them a slight nod. I could feel Ian's smile more then I saw it.  
Jared, who still locked a little bit uncomfortable, Jeb and Mel got up, Jeb with food for all of us and a crytank under his arm, started walking. Mel stopped beside me and took my arm in her hand. We walked slowly, Mel forcing me to go with a smaller step. Ian was walking a few paces ahead of us, talking about the raid with Jared and Jeb.  
"Okay, so I need you to get me something," Mel whispered as we were outside.  
"What? And why are we whispering?" I whispered back to her.  
"Do you think maybe you could fix... contraceptive?"  
I looked at her, wide eyed and my mouth forming a 'o'.  
"Don't look at me like that. It's a lot of people who want it, and with what Jared saw this morning, and the size of that hickey, you and Ian need it too, am I right?"  
"Ian told me it didn't show," I gasped.  
"It didn't until you did something with your hair. I was lucky too see it. But can you fix it?"  
I guess I could, and we kinda did need it. The only problem was that I didn't know where to find it.  
I nodded at her, and concentrated on my steps in the dark morning so that I wouldn't fall.  
"So, tell me?" Mel asked then, and I didn't have any problems knowing what she meant, if Jared had told me what he saw this morning.  
"Nothing happened, now, shh," I whispered and then hurried up to Ian so I wouldn't have to talk about it.  
I glared at Jared as he looked at me, and he chukled, laying his arm around Mel's waist.

It took us shorter time than usual to get to the van, and there was a surprise visit waiting for us.  
Nate and his group was back. It seemed to be the same people as last time, only there was one addition.  
"Hey, Jared, how ya doin'?" Nate asked Jared, as they said hello to each other.  
"Good, good. You?"  
"Same, so, anything new since the last time we saw you?"  
Jared quickly gave me and Ian a glance and then answered no. They didn't really know we had Doc, and that there was a way to remove the souls from the bodies. Only because they were humans didn't mean we could trust them.  
But, they would notice I didn't look the same way as last time, though. So we had to explain to them sometime. But not now.  
"So, Nate, this is our leader Jeb. The one who found the caves," Jared said, and Jeb walked up to Nate and shook his hand.  
As the three of them talked, I looked around the group.  
I saw Burns, standing in the background again, and some other people I didn't know the name of.  
I looked at the new woman. I could only see her at a far distance, and it was still dark outside. She was standing looking another way, talking to one of the other womans. It looked like she had long, blonde hair, and she was a few inches shorter then myself.  
I felt Ian stiffen beside me, his eyes locked on the woman.  
"Impossible. No... No, it can't be," he whispered as he shook his head frantically.  
"Ian? What's wrong?" I placed a hand on his face, trying to get him to look at me. His eyes were locked on the woman.  
"Ian?"  
"Wanda, I... stay right here," he said after awhile, and started to walk.  
"Hey, what you doing?" Jared shouted after him, but didn't do anything.  
Ian's fascination at the woman and his words made me look closer at her. At her blond locks, her short figure, her beautiful face. Her eyes seemed blue at colour. Her face seemed familiar for some reason, and as I saw Ian beside her it hit me.  
I started crying then, and Mel was by my side instantly, placing her hands on my shoulders.  
"Wanda? Wanda, why are you crying?" But I didn't listen to her words, I concentrated on Ian.  
The woman turned to face him then, and her eyes were wide. She, too, shook her head.  
Ian said something I didn't catch, and the woman answered him after a few seconds.  
"I-I-Ian?" Her voice was merely a whisper, but I heard her.  
Then Ian wrapped his strong arms around her, and I could see she was crying, too. Mel followed my eyes, and saw their exchange.  
"Do you know who that is?"  
"I think so," I said, my voice thick with the tears that fell from my eyes.  
Their hug ended after awhile, and all the people around them looked confused.  
"Wanda, could you come here for a second?" I heard Ian said, but I was paralysed.  
What if she didn't like me? What if she reacted like Kyle? Wanted to kill me...  
When I didn't come, he turned to look at me, held his hand out for me, and I could see a tear on his cheek. He looked so happy. That made my body work again, and I slowly walked up to them.  
He wrapped one of his arms around my waist, and the other was in the womans hand. She looked at me, with curiousity in her eyes. No fear, no anger.  
"Hey, why the tears?" He looked at me, wiping them off with his thumb.  
"If this is who I think it is, Ian..." I trailed off, looking at her.  
"Wanda, I'd like you to meet Amanda. Amanda, this is my fiancé Wanda," there was a huge grin on his face as he introduced me to his sister.  
"It's good to meet you, Wanda," she said, and then hugged me. I was surprised at her action.  
Maybe she didn't know I was a soul, maybe she would be repulsive when she found out. Or maybe she was still the person she was all those years ago. She let me go, and I relaxed into Ian's side as he wrapped me closer.  
"Mom and dad?" she asked then, looking up at her baby brother. He got that sad face again, the one he had had when he told me his story, and he shook his head. More tears ran from her cheek, and I wanted to comfort her. Ian had known for years, this was like just finding out your parents were dead.  
"Ethan?" This time she shook her head, and Ian wrapped her into another hug.  
I looked up at Ian, and as if he could feel me looking at him, he looked down on me.  
"Maybe we should tell her I'm..."  
"A soul?" she finished for me, and I was surprised again.  
"Yeah, I've known from the time he said your name. They told us they had met a soul when they got back from that raid, and that her name was Wanda. Only I pictured you differently... " She gave me a weak smile through the tears.  
I laughed lightly, finding out she had no problems with me. Why was I even worried? Because this was Ian's older sister, that's why...  
I cared about her opinion even though I didn't know her.  
"I can't believe I was worried, you told me she was nothing like Kyle..." I mumbled as I leaned my head into Ian, feeling alot of eyes on us.  
"Kyle?" Amanda asked then, and Ian smiled at her. He had some good news to tell.  
"He's back in the caves."  
"I need to see him," she blurted out, smiling. "Wait, what did you mean with 'nothing like Kyle'?"  
She looked at me again, and I really didn't like her telling this. Ian noticed and told her. Maybe it was better to find out from your brother that your other brother had tried to kill someone. No, it couldn't be good to find out your brother had tried to kill someone.  
"Kyle... didn't like Wanda in the beginning, and he's still not her greatest fan. The thing is - you're going to kill him for this - he tried to kill Wanda."  
"He did what!? How could he? I'm going to strangle him slow!" she was shocked, and I didn't like that this was one of the first thing she heard about her brother for years.  
"I'm sorry to disturb, but could someone please tell us what's going on?" Jeb asked then, before Ian had the time to say something.  
Ian and Amanda looked around themselves as if they had forgotten about the other persons around.  
And they probably had. Ian's eyes locked on our group and Mel's eyes were worried, locked on me.  
"Jeb, Jared, Mel... This is Amanda, my older sister."

* * *

**What do you think? Big surprise that Amanda is alive, and human?  
Review and make me happy (:**


	9. Chapter 9

I could literally see Jared and Mel's chins fall to the ground, but Jeb, as always, had the poker face on.  
Some of Nate's group also looked very shocked. My tears were still falling, and Ian dried them off, pulling both me and Amanda closer.  
Amanda looked at me, smiling, with curious eyes. I thought about her words, 'I pictured you differently'. We would have to tell her, sometime. But right now, we'd leave it as a long story.  
"You have a sister?" Jared asked, and Mel looked at me. She wanted to know if I knew about it, and my smile through my tears answered her question.  
"Yes, I do," Ian answered, looking at Jared.  
"Well then..." Jared trailed off, not knowing what to say.  
It was quiet for awhile, before people started talking. Most of them talking like this wasn't the big surprise it was. Probably just to let Ian and Amanda have a private moment. Mel was waving me over, and I squeezed Ian's hand.  
"I'll be right back," I said to him, and he leaned down, giving me a chaste kiss.  
I smiled and then walked to Mel, Jared and Jeb.  
Mel hugged me, and smiled.  
"How long have you known?"  
"Awhile." Mel dried one of my tears away.  
"Stop crying, you cry baby."  
"Yeah, well, you know me."  
"So, does she know...?" Jared started, looking, me in the eyes.  
"That I'm a soul? Yeah. Only she pictured the soul Wanda differently," I grimaced a little.  
"So I guess we have to tell them... Do we trust her?"  
"Yes we do. She seems to be a nice person. And she doesn't have a problems with us."  
With us, I meant the souls. Both Jared and Jeb understood that.  
"Then let's let you and Ian tell her then," Jeb said, looking at Ian and his sister.  
"They look alike, apart from the hair," Mel mumbled.  
"That's how I recognized her. The blond locks, the blue eyes, the facial expressions."

We talked for some more, but Jared was getting impatient. The sun was coming up, and we really needed to go. He was about to grunt for the fourth time when Ian came from behind and snaked his arms around my waist, and placed a soft kiss on my hair.  
"Ian, I'm sorry, but we need to go..." Jared said.  
"That's what I needed to talk to you about."  
"No, Ian, we need you on this raid. And we need Wanda. She isn't coming if your not, you know that," Mel started to protest, but Ian didn't say anything. Neither did I. I knew he wouldn't let me go alone, anyhow.  
"I wouldn't leave Wanda alone, you know that. I'm going with you, to protect her."  
"Then what did you want to say?"  
"To ask if maybe we could... bring her?" he hesitated a little at the end, and I leaned closer against him. I thought it was a wonderful idea. They hadn't been talking for almost six years, they didn't even know if the other one was alive. And now they knew, and had a chance to talk. And I wanted to know her. They seemed to think about it, and Mel was first to talk.  
"That sounds good," she looked at me the entire time, and I smiled at her. She smiled back.  
"I'm okay with it, but it's not my decision to make. This is Jared's raid."  
Jared looked at Ian, then at Amanda who was standing with Nate, and then back at Ian and me again.  
"I guess I'm okay with it. Wanda said we could trust her, and I trust her. Now come on, we need to go." With that he turned around and started walking with Jeb and Mel after, hand in hand with her.  
I turned around so I could see Ian's face, and he was looking down at me, giving me a crooked smile.  
"You trust her?" He played with my hair, making the hair on my arms rise.  
"She's your sister. Of course I do."  
"Kyle's my brother. And I don't trust him. Not completley," I could see by the look on his face that he was thinking about the time Kyle tried to kill me. He now had all the details about the situation, and he wasn't happy about it.  
"Hey, don't think about it, okay? It's forgetten."  
"How can you forget someone trying to kill you?" He sounded a litte angry, and I knew he was angry at Kyle, not at me.  
"Okay, maybe not _forgotten_. But I forgave him, he's changed."  
He sighted and leaned his forhead against mine.  
"How can you be so forgiving, huh?" He didn't give me a chance to answer him before he spoke again.  
"I love you, Wanda. So much." Then he pressed his lips to mine, gently but passionate. When they broke apart again, I whispered against his lips.  
"FYI, Mel totally saw the hickey."  
He started laughing and then pressed his lips gently against mine one more time.  
"Come on, let's go tell your sister she's coming with us."  
I took his hand, and we started walking, talking on the way. I was nervous again, for some reason, as we reached Amanda.  
"Come on, you're coming with us," Ian said to her, and she walked with us.  
She said goodbye to everyone, and that she'll see them soon again.  
"You two look so adorable together," she said when we sat in the back of the van, making me blush a a little. She smiled at us, but looked sad at the same time. I wondered if that had anything to do with Ethan. But I didn't dare ask out loud. I listened as Ian and she talked instead.  
"So, you eventually found Jeb and his caves," Amanda tried to laugh about it, but I could hear a sad tone in her voice.  
"It took us maybe a little less than a year."  
"What happened to them?" Her tone was sad now and she looked down on her hands, that where laying in her lap.  
"We didn't have a long way to go, when they where just going down to the store. Kyle and I was still in the hotel. They never came back." I wanted to move closer to him, to comfort him. I didn't like the moist in his eyes, or the sad voice. I wanted him to smile, to be happy.  
But instead I stayed next to Mel, watching and listening.  
"How long have you been with Nate and the other?"  
"Ethan and I found them a few years ago. Ethan used to know a guy that knew Nate, and we followed him."  
"What happened to Ethan?" I guess I would get my answer anyway.  
"Two years ago he got sick. He had gotten hurt, and the wound never healed. It got infected, and the one day he was just gone." Tears where  
running down her face when she spoke. I was thinking of Jamie, and how lucky we had been. He lived, thanks to me. And Jared. I wished they would have had someone. But then I remembered Burns. Why didn't he help? Maybe he wasn't even with them at the time. Who knew?  
"I'm sorry. You know I really liked him, he was like a second brother to me."  
"Speaking of, how's Kyle?" She easily changed the subject, and I didn't blame her. I wanted to hear more about Ethan, but I knew it was hard for her to talk about it.  
"Not my favorite person in the world, but I guess you can say he's changed for the better."  
His smile didn't reach his eyes.  
"Tell me about him."  
I stopped listening there, as Mel wanted my attention.  
"Have you thought about what I said?" she whispered.  
"No, not really." It was true. I hadn't really had the time to think about birth control this day.  
"But you'll try?"  
"Yeah, only I don't know where to find it. I haven't really had to use it before."  
"Not even...?  
"Nope."  
"Hm," Mel looked thoughtful, and I turned back to their conversation.  
"She seems to be good. Nice, lovely even."  
"She is. She really changed me, and I really love her. I don't know what I would do without her."  
"I can see that, that she changed you, I mean. You look so happy around her. Like she completes you." She had a smile on her lips now, and so did Ian. That made me happy too see.  
"How did she come to the caves?"  
Ian did tell the truth, not just the whole version.  
"Her bodies memories made her look for her little brother. And he was – _is_ - in the caves, with Jeb and everyone else." He truly was my little brother, even though he wasn't the only reason why I had searched and found the caves.  
"Wow, it's great beeing talked about like I'm not even here," Mel said, sarcasticly, but she had a huge smile on her lips. I didn't answer her, as I continued listening.  
"How did everyone react? When she showed up, I mean."  
"Not good," I saw Ian flinch a little bit and I immidiatly moved closer.  
"No, Ian, don't." I feelt more than saw Amanda looking at me, at the hand on his cheek and the apolgetic expression on Ian's face.  
"I'm sorry," he whispered at me, and I barely heard it.  
"You don't have to be. You did what you had to, what you thought was right."  
"That doesn't change what I did to you."  
"Ian, you and Jamie, was the first people to care about _me, _not Mel. Yes, maybe you did tried to hurt me, but I don't care. I love you. Don't think about it again. I won't let you."  
"I didn't try to just hurt you. I tried to kill you, Wanda. How can I _not_ hate myself for that?"  
"Because I don't hate you. Didn't you belive me the first time I told you? I love you. And I always will."  
"I, the soul called Wanderer, love you, human Ian. And that will never change, no matter what I might become. If I were a Dolphin or a Bear of a Flower, it wouldn't matter. I would always love you, always remember you. You will be my only partner," he whispered to me.  
"See, you even remember the words I used. That's more than I do," I smiled at him and he gave me a small smile back. Then I pressed my lips against his softly, not caring that Amanda and Mel watched us.  
"Of course I remember, Wanda. I had been waiting to hear those words for so long, and I will never forget them."

---

The two weeks we were out on the raid passed quickly. It was nice to sleep in a real bed, to stand in a real shower again.  
We all slept in the same room, sharing two double beds. We switched the one's who where laying on the couch every night. If Ian laid there, so did I. Same with Mel and Jared. Jeb usually slept on the floor, giving the couch to Amanda.  
Amanda and I had gotten close under these weeks. She was very nice, and easy to love with her warm personality. She was like Ian in so many ways, but I saw Kyle in her, too.  
We where on our way back, only a few hours left until we would reach the home of the caves again when I told Jared to stop the van. Amanda would follow us back, all of us cared for her and trusted her, and she wanted to see Kyle. We had told her about Jodi, and that Sunny was in there. And she also knew about me and Mel. What she didn't know was that I had been in Ian's body. That was big news, her broher had had a soul inside him. How would she take that?  
"Hey, Jared, could go stop here at the hospital?"  
I saw Ian looking at me, and so did Mel. But Jared stopped without questions.  
Ian squeezed my hand, looking at me with worry in his eyes.  
"I'm fine," I said, knowing he would ask me that question.  
"Then why are we stopping?"  
I gave Mel a quick glance, she wanted to know too.  
"Well... before we left for the raid, Mel asked me about something." I made it sound like a question.  
"And this is where you can fix that?" She asked disbeliving.  
"I been thinking about it, and I can't think of any other place."  
"A pharmacy, maybe?"  
"They don't have that anymore. Everything is in the hospitals."  
"What are you talking about?" Ian asked, looking into my eyes, his penetrating. I could feel my cheeks getting a little warmer.  
"Mel wanted me tofixcontraceptiveforeveryone." I was talking fast, whispering to Ian only, hoping no one would hear me.  
"Oh," was all he said, he had heard me even though I'd talked to fast and quietly.  
"Yeah, I'll be right back," I leaned in and placed a small kiss on Ian's cheek, and then climbed out of the car. I could see on him that he wanted to follow me, but I didn't let him. Not since that last raid. I had explained to him that I wanted him in the van, that was safer. He wasn't happy about it, but he did as I said and waited with everyone else.

"Hello? I would like to talk to someone."  
"Hi, of course. Let me call a Healer." The woman behind the desk seemed nice, but was it really necessary with a Healer?  
"Healer Fords Deep Waters will be with you in a second." I was suddenly worried. I didn't know Fords where here, he must have moved again.  
Would he recognize me? But then I remembered I wasn't in Mel's body anymore, and I calmed down instantly.  
He looked just like he did the last time I had seen him, maybe a little older. But not much.  
"Hello, my name is Fords Deep Water. What is your name?" he said as he took my hand.  
"Petals Open to the Moon," I said, still using Pet's name. It felt like that was the safest I could do.  
"Hello Petals Open to the Moon, what can I help you with today?"  
"I would like some... contraceptive."  
"Of course. What would you like?"  
"I don't know... maybe the pills? And some condoms." I was embarrest talking about this, but Fords was very easy to talk to. He was a good man. In some ways, he reminded me of Doc...  
"Wait right here and I will get some pills for you, and you can get condoms right outside at the desk," he said and walked away. I took the bag I was holding, and scooped down some Heal and other medications in it. It was always good to have, you never knew when you needed it.  
Fords came back a few minutes later, with several boxes in his hands.  
"This is different kinds, is there any you would like to try?"  
"Maybe these three," I said, pointing at three of the boxes and he gave them to me.  
He told me how to use them and to not use them at the same time, and to ask him any question I had. I didn't have one.  
"It's a beautiful ring, I hope your fiancé is taking good care of you."  
"The best," I said, smiling, thinking about Ian.  
"When is the bid day?"  
"We haven't decided yet. But soon, I hope."  
"Congratulations."  
"Thank you." He looked at me for a few seconds, and then sighted.  
"You remind me of someone I used to know. But she disappeared many months ago."  
I stiffen, getting a little worried again. I knew he was talking about me.  
"Maybe you knew her, you lived in the same city."  
"What was her name?"  
"Wanderer. She was very kind, and I hope she is out there somewhere, alive."  
"I'm sure she is," I murmured. She was very much alive, happy, and sitting right next to him.  
"I'm sorry, but I have to go now."  
"Yes, I'll hope I see you again, and say hi to your fiancé from me."  
"I will. Goodbye Healer Fords Deep Water."  
"Goodbye Petals Open to the Moon."  
I walked away, and out of the hospital taking three boxes of condoms with me on my way.  
"What took you so long?" Ian asked as he took my hand.  
I gave the bag to Jared, who was now sitting in the passenger seat. Jeb was driving.  
"I took what I could." I turned to Mel, "and Mel, here," I said and tossed the small bag with two of the pill boxes and all the boxes with condoms to her. I kept one of the pill boxes to myself, in my pocket.  
"You never answered Ian's question. What took you so long?"  
"I met an old friend of us, Mel." I glared at her, even though it wasn't her fault I had choosen to stop at the hospital he was working at. -  
She looked a little chocked. This was a long way from where we had lived before.  
"Who?"  
"Fords Deep Water. He said I reminded him of a soul named Wanderer." I grimaced again, and Ian pulled me tighter.  
"What? Not good..." Mel groaned.  
"Who is this Fords Deep Water?" Jeb asked. I hadn't told him this story.  
"He's the Healer that placed me in Mel's body."  
"You haven't told us this story. You have to tell me sometime when we are home."  
"I guess I can do that," I mumbled thinking about home, leaning into Ian, sighting.

* * *

**As always, let me know what you think.**

I will try to update every other day from now on, but that depends on how much I have in school.  
And if I know what to write.

**Thank you all for reading, and keep on gicing me reviews (: **


	10. Chapter 10

**So, I accidentily uploaded chapter nine twice. ´  
Here is chapter ten, R&R**

* * *

Jared stopped the van right outside the cave. It was night outside, and very dark with only a few stars in the nightsky.  
But we still blindfolded Amanda, she had agreed to do it even. Even if everyone trusted her and liked her, we didn't want her to know the way out and in of the caves. Or even the way there.  
Jeb was the one who showed her the way inside, while the rest of us carried the food and the other articles we had picked up on the raid. When we were inside of the cave, after putting everything in the black hole that used to be my home, I took the bag from Jared and was beginning to walk down to Doc with the supplies. The bindfold on Amanda had been removed, and she walked next to me and Ian. Mel, Jared and Jeb was on their way to their room, and they wouldn't say anything to anyone about Amanda. That was her and Ian's job.  
"This is big. How do you find everything?" Amanda asked as she looked around.  
"It very easy. Even though it's big. And I had a lot of help in the beginning," I laughted, thinking about Ian following me everywhere. I still couldn't  
believe I had been so afraid of Doc.  
"Do you think he's awake?"  
"I don't know, but it's pretty late," Ian answered me just as we rounded the corner and stepped into the hospital. Doc was awake, and he even had company. Kyle and Sunny was there, all three of them with their backs against us. I heard Amanda taking a deep breath, and then she walked forward. She stopped right behind Kyle, sitting on one of the cots. No one knew we where here yet.  
"Kyle O'Shea, give me a hug," she said, her voice high and longing. All three heads popped in our direction, and Kyle's eyes grew wide. He slowly got up from the cot and walked around it, shaking his head all the time.  
"No, it can't be," he said, touching Amanda's face and then his eyes rolled back and his big body fell to the ground as he fainted.  
I thought Sunny would run to his side the same second, but she looked chocked, concentrating on something. Instead Doc was leaning over him, checking his pulse. Amanda turned to us, a real small smile on her face.  
"Yeah, well, he never did like surprises."  
Both Ian and I chuckled, knowing she was right and not that worried about Kyle. He would wake up soon enough. He had had worse.  
"Doc, you got any water?" I asked, knowing how to wake him up sooner.  
"Right over there," he said, pointing toward his desk. I walked up to it, taking the bottle in my hand and screwed of the lid. The water was as cold as it could get down here.  
"What do you need it for?" I walked to stand next to Doc, and answered his question.  
"I thought I might give it a try, since it helped last time," I said as I poured the water over Kyle and he began coughing, his eyes fluttering open.  
Doc turned his attention from Kyle to Amanda, and reached his hand out for her.  
"Hello. I'm Doc. What's your name?"  
"Amanda."  
He looked down on Kyle, now sitting, still wide eyes, and then looked up at Amanda again with questioning eyes.  
"I'm his sister." I didn't see his reaction, my eyes on Sunny. She looked so sad, and she was still concentrating on something. She had moved to stand in another part of the room, away from us. She looked a little bit afraid. I quickly walked up to her, taking her hand and pulling us down to the ground. Now that I was closer, I could see she was crying.  
"Sunny?"  
"Sh-shes back," she whispered.  
"I know. You know who she is?"  
"Not Amanda. Jodi."  
My jaw fell slack, and I looked at Sunny with wide eyes.  
"Do you hear her?"  
She nodded at me.  
"How long has she been back?"  
"When Amanda said her name. I was shocked, remembering her. And then I felt Jodi. They where best friends."  
"How is she?"  
"Weak, I can't hear everything. But she's here." I nodded at her. Happy for Kyle and Jodi, but sad for Sunny. She knew what this meant. She had come to love us, and we loved her. But Kyle would want Jodi back.  
"Jodi, can you hear me?"  
Sunny nodded at my question.  
"Do you know who I am? Where you are?"  
"She knows everything, she's going through my memories."  
"Okay... Let's concenrate on the fact that she is back. Maybe we shouldn't tell Kyle, not yet. He'll get his hopes up, and since she is only weak, I don't know if she'll come back."  
"But I don't want to leave you guys. Yes, I would like to give her back to herself, but I don't want to leave everyone here. This is my home." She was sobbing now, and I dragged her into a hug. I didn't even know Jodi, but I wanted her here. She deserved a life, too. But at the same time I wanted Sunny here. We had become close under our time here together, and me and Kyle was really the only ones she really trusted. How would we figure this out? Make the best of the situation?  
"Sunny, I think we need to talk to Doc about this."  
She looked at me for a breif moment, and then nodded. I hugged her again, drying off her tears, and were thankful for the fact that there was dark in the room. I stood up, and Sunny too. She followed right behind me when I walked up to Doc, talking with the siblings. Kyle still looked shocked, but he smiled. Ian watched us as we walked up, and I knew he saw Sunny's tears. But he didn't say anything.  
"Eh, Doc? Can I speak with you for a second?"  
"Yes, of course. What can I help you with, Wanda?"  
I took his arm and lead him out in the corridor. I didn't want Kyle to know. Not yet.  
"Don't talk about this, but... Sunny found Jodi."  
A smile broke out on his lips.  
"That's great news. We should tell Kyle right away."  
"No, Doc. I don't want to get his hopes up. She's weak. We should give her time to completly find her way back. And I don't know how to do this. We wan't Jodi back, but Sunny want's to stay. And I want her to stay, too."  
"You're right." He thought for a while, his lips pressed together.  
"Maybe... maybe if we find her another body? Then she can stay."  
I thought about it, and it really was the only alternative. If Jodi got strong enough, we would have to remove Sunny. And place her into another body, so she would live, too.  
"Sunny?"  
"Yes. Jodi like's it, too."  
"She talks to you?" Doc asked and Sunny nodded.  
"She's still weak, but she knows who you all are, where we are. And she doesn't seem to have anything against anyone here from my memories. And she's glad that Kyle is alive, she want's him back. She still loves him." She seemed sad.  
"Okay then, we'll wait a few days to tell anyone. You'll try to talk to her, make her stronger. And when she is, we'll find you a new body, Sunny. And you should go be alone right now," I said, and Sunny smiled for real now, wiping away her last tears as she nodded and walked away.  
I was tired and had a small headache after this day, and I was planning on going to sleep.  
But Doc hadn't gotten the new medicines yet. I still had the bag on me.  
"Hey, Doc. I took as much as I could," I said as I gave him the bag. He smiled and thanked me.  
Now I was ready to sleep. I followed Doc into the hospital again, and I stopped beside Ian, putting my arm around his waist. He put his around mine, and dragged me closer. I looked up into his eyes, and drowned in them for a second before I talked.  
"I'm tired, so I'm going to bed."  
"I'm coming with you."  
"No, Ian, you should stay," I said and glanced briefly at Amanda and Kyle.  
"I'm coming with you. Let's leave these two alone." He nodded his head in their direction and smiled.  
Amanda must have overheard us, and turned her head in our direction.  
"You too, go to bed and I'll see you tomorrow."  
That reminded me of something.  
"Where are you sleeping?"  
"I'll just sleep down here on one of the cots."  
I grimaced thinking about sleeping on them, they were so uncomfortable, but I gave her a small nod.  
"See you all tomorrow then, bye." Ian said as he turned us around and we started walking slowly.  
"Goodnight," Doc, Kyle and Amanda said together.  
"Hey, Wanda, where's Sunny?" Kyle asked then, and I answered over my shoulder.  
"Eh, I think she wen't to bed," I grimaced a little, not liking to hide this, and hoped that no one heard it in my voice.  
When we were out of hearing distance, Ian clearly showed me he had heard it.  
"So, what is it with Sunny?" I grimaced a little again, knowing I couldn't lie to Ian even if I wanted to. But I didn't want to lie to him, or hide things from him. So I told him.  
"Just don't tell anyone, we're not supposted to tell anyone. And we decided we should wait a few days before we tell anyone," I babbled.  
"Tell what?" he murmured.  
I made sure no one would hear us before I talked again.  
"Jodi is back, but she's very, _very_ weak. And we don't want to get Kyle's hopes up. So Sunny are going to try to get Jodi to be stronger. And then we're finding Sunny a new body."  
I had relaxed more and more into Ian's side as we walked and I talked and my last words have been slurred as I nearly fell asleep walking. Ian chuckeled as I stumbled again and he lifted me up in his arms so he was carrying me. I sighted against his chest and fell asleep in his arms.

---

I woke up from the weak voices that was coming from the room. Ian and someone else.  
"No, I can just come back later. I thought she was awake."  
"I am awake," I groaned and both Ian and Sunny laughed. I could feel Ian's body against mine.  
"I wanted to talk to you about... you know..."  
"Any changes?" I mumbled as I opened my eyes. It was definatly day. Ian was laying next to me, my back against his chest. Sunny was standing in the doorway, looking uncomfortable.  
"You can tell me. I told Ian last night."  
"Oh," she said in a low voice.  
"I was just thinking... about you and Mel. Was she ever... weak?"  
When I thought about it, the answer was no. Yes, she had disappeared completley once. But when she got back she found her way back from weak to strong herself. Controlled by her emotions at the moment. But weak? No, she was always so strong. So strong I had once been afraid of her. And sometimes she _choosed_ to... step into another room, as she once said.  
"Sometimes she choosed to not be there with me. Then I couldn't hear her thoughts, but I felt her being there. She was always so strong. I admire her strenght. She was there from the moment I was placed into her body until Doc took me out. So, no, she was never weak."  
"What do you mean 'choosed to not be there'?" Sunny looked curious and took a small step into the room.  
"Like when Walter died. She left me so I could be with him, alone. So I could grieve him. Or with Ian. When I realized I loved him, she stepped into another room so I could show him. Tell him." I could see a small smile on Sunny's lips, even though it seemed sad. Why I didn't know.  
"Tell me what it was like. You know, giving the body back."  
I smiled and laughed lightly.  
"Yeah, that. It was both harder and easier than I thought it would be."  
"Why?"  
"It was so easy because I knew I needed to do it for Mel. She had a right to live. Jared and Jamie wanted her back. Most of the humans here wanted a human instead of a soul. They liked me, yes, but they would like Mel more. She was afraid. Didn't want me to do it. Tried to convince me she didn't need her body back and she didn't want to be the death of me. Just like I didn't want to be the death of her. And I would have stayed. But I couldn't. I wanted, too, though. I knew what I wanted and what I needed to do. But they were different things. That was the easy part. The hard part was knowing that...-" I trailed off for a second, composing myself. I didn't feel like crying right now, even though my body wanted to. But a tear leaked over, -"knowing that Ian loved me. Knowing _I_ loved him back. Knowing I would do everything for him, and that I would destroy his world if I did it. Like I said, maybe I would have stayed if it wasn't for Ian. I couldn't see him suffer just because I couldn't be with him in Mel's body. Because her feelings for Jared was so strong. Her body didn't belong to me, or to Mel. It belongs to Jared. So I had to do it. She tried to convince me into the last moment. But then she accepted it, and it was very peaceful. The last thing I remember from her body is that the whole universe turned into blue." I would have expected Ian to say something, but he was very quiet as I told my story. He only pulled me closer when he saw that it was hard for me to tell the story. More tears had leaked over and I was glad for the darkness in these caves.  
Sunny looked thoughtful for a second, before she talked.  
"I-I should probably leave you two alone. I'll see you later." With that she left, and I leaned into Ian even more. Our fingers were twisted together, and I smiled as I looked at them. I was so grateful for Ian, that I was lucky to have him in my life.  
"Are you okay?" he whispered softly.  
"I'm always more than okay when I'm with you." I smiled in the darkness.  
"I've been thinking."  
"About?" he murmured against my hair.  
"I want to marry you now. Or at least as soon as possible. I don't want to wait any longer. I want to be your's."  
"You'll always be mine."  
"You know what I mean. And I want your sister to be there."  
"Do you?"  
"Of course Ian, she's family. How long is she staying?"  
"A week I think."  
"You better cover your ears today, because I'm going to tell Mel we're getting married in less than a week from now." As I talked I had turned over so that I could see his face. Ian laughted and then he got serious, his beautiful eyes boring into mine.  
"I love you."  
"Love you more."  
"Impossible," he whispered still looking into my eyes, and then his eyes fluttered close as he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

---

I was working in the kitchen today with Mel, and all the other people was out on the field.  
Lunch was coming up, and the kitchen would be crowed soon. But for now it was just the two of us.  
"Mel?"  
"Yeah?" she sounded a little distant, like she was thinking about something else than the work she was doing.  
"Ian and I talked, and we're getting married in a few days."  
She was less happy than I thought she would be.  
"It's about time. But we have so much to do in so little time..." she trailed off, the smile disappearing from her lips.  
"What needs to be done?"  
"First of all, we're getting you a dress. And Ian needs a tux. So we have a raid to go on."  
"Mel, I really don't think..."  
"YOU are wearing a wedding dress. It's a wedding. Your wedding, and you are going to be dressed in a beautiful white dress. And we are getting me a dress, too! We should probably go tomorrow..." she babbled about the raid and I didn't really listen to her words until she said one thing that caught me of guard.  
"What? No!"  
"Yes, it's a tradition."  
"We live in caves. I'm a soul, Ian is human, so what about this wedding will be tradition?"  
"Then we need to make it as traditional as possible. You and Ian will not sleep together the night before. It will be a surprise. And he won't see your dress." I stared at her in disbelif, pouting a little. The dress I could agree, too. I would even agree to wear a dress. But not sleeping with him the night before? No, I wouldn't leave his arms.  
But Mel was determinated, and she clearly said so with the look on her face.  
"Mel.."  
"No. You're doing this the way I say. I'm the bridesmaid."  
"I'm the bride. I should get to decide."  
"You get to decide every other thing. Like where, who's marrying you... Things like that."  
That reminded me that I still needed to talk to Doc.  
I gave Mel the most mean look I could and then walked away. She just looked at me without saying anything.  
¨

"Doc, can I talk to you?"  
"Sure Wanda."  
I sat down on one of the cots, opposite to where Doc sat.  
I was nervous and didn't know how to say this.  
"Ehm, well... Ian and I are getting married in a few days, and we would like you to... be the one who are going to marry us."  
"I would be honoured to." Doc's smile was genuine, warm. I got up from the cot and walked up to him to give him a hug.  
"Thank you."  
"No, thank you for asking me."  
"I should probably get back, I just left Mel in the kitchen and it's lunch soon, so.."  
"I'll see you soon then Wanda."  
I smiled as I walked away but as I entered the kitchen and saw Mel I glared at her and glared back.  
I knew she would do anything to keep me from Ian the night before, and Jared would probably help her. But I would have Ian on my side. Two against two. It was an equal fight.

I hadn't realized that Mel and I were still glaring at each other until Ian, Jamie and Jared walked inside and looked at us.  
"I'm not chosing side," Jamie said, laughing.  
"You don't need to, I have Jared."  
"And I have Ian. And if I remember correctly, we should be the one who decides this."  
"You wanted my help. I'm helping you do this the traditional way."  
"It's _our _choice. Maybe I don't want it to be traditional." I would fight over this. And I would win, one way or another.  
"What's this about?" Jared chuckled, and both Jamie and Ian followed. They weren't used to me being angry, and definatly not at Mel. We were never angry at each other. Not even now. Just determinated to do this different ways.  
"Just making plans about the wedding," Mel smiled and I glared even more making Jamie and Jared laughing even more.  
"And you know I will drag you away," she continued looking at me. That's when I thought of the most perfect plan.  
"Fine, I give up. Let's do this your way."  
Mel didn't expect me to give up so easy, and looked chocked.  
"But you can't help me with the dress in that case. I'll just bring Ian."  
"Fine, I won't go. But you won't take Ian with you. Because he's the groom, and can't see the dress. Plus, you won't risk his life taking him with you." Why did she have to know me so well?  
"I'll take Sunny then. But, if we do this Jared will be _so_ alone..." I looked sad, but it didn't work.  
"No he won't. I'll be with you, and Jared will be with Ian. Because one of you will _try_ to get away."  
"Fine," I muttered thinking about my plan. I would make it work. Mel and Jared was like Jamie when they were asleep. Nothing could wake them up.  
"Good." She was back to normal, smiling and so was I. It was safer to bring Sunny, and I would sleep in Ian's arms one way or another.  
All three of them looked really confused when Mel and I hugged and started to talk about a whole other thing that had nothing to do with the wedding. We laughed at their confusion and said 'men' at the same time, making us laugh even more.


	11. Chapter 11

"I'll miss you like crazy," I was standing with my arms around Ian's neck, leaning my forehead against his. Sunny and I were just about to leave for the raid, and we would be back later tonight. If you can call it that. It was past midnight, and the sun would be up in a few hours.  
Ian didn't like me going alone, but I had Sunny. And since she, too, was a soul it was as safe as it could be. We were supposted to just get two rings, a dress for me, one for Mel and a tux for Ian. But since Kyle was the best man, he wanted one too. If I would have decided we would have just skipped this raid so I could be with Ian longer. Who cared if we didn't have wedding clothes on us? That wasn't what counted. What counted was that in only two days Ian would be my husband.  
"You better," Ian whispered back, his beautiful eyes full of emotion.  
"Come back to me."  
"I promise as long as you'll be waiting."  
"I'll always wait for you."  
"Then I'll come back," I teased, smiling before I gently pressed my lips against his. He deepened the kiss for a few seconds before he let go, and our lips broke apart.  
"I could live on those," I murmured before I said I loved him and then goodbye.  
It was crazy that I already missed him, seeing as how I would see him later today.  
"How's it going with Jodi?" I asked to distract myself. It was only about twenty minutes left until we would reach the van and all I could think about was Ian.  
"No change. I mean, she's a little bit stronger. Time seems to help. But she's still weak, and sometimes she disappears again. But she finds her way back all the time." What she told me was things that I already knew, and it didn't distract me as much as I hoped it would have.  
"Then let's hope she'll be stronger soon."  
"I hope so, too."

We reached the town about noon and all the stores were open. We would have to go to two different dress stores seeing as I would have to try on Mel's dress. We were the same size after all.  
We started with picking up the rings. I choosed two simple wedding bands in gold, no stones or any of that on them. I wanted them to be simple, but yet beautiful. Like the ring that sat on my left hand.  
The next thing on the list was to get Mel's dress. I tried on several ones, but both Sunny and I agreed to pick the black one, because Mel had always loved the color black. It had a tight fit and had no shoulder straps and went to the floor. It would be perfect for her.  
We got Ian and Kyle's tuxes in the same store. It was harder to get for them, since they couldn't try them on. All we had was their sizes, and we hoped they would fit. Both of them was black, and white shirts underneath. There was also two black ties with them.  
My dress was the hardest to pick. I found so many I liked, all of them wonderful. But after I had tried on a few I found the perfect one.  
It was white with no shoulder straps and it had embroidered patterns on it that went from the chest part and down. It had a tight fit until right below the waist, where it became wider. It had several layers of fabric on the wider part, and it was set in a stylish design. It went down to my feet, just hiding the shoes underneath.  
"Wow, you look beautiful," Sunny said as I was looking myself in the mirror.  
"Thank you," I answered her, agreeing. I really was beautiful in this dress.

As we was walking outside, towards the van, Sunny surprised me and dragged me into another store full of lingerie.  
"Come on, it was Jodi's idea."  
"Jodi's idea?"  
"Yeah, she said 'it's their wedding night. She should wear something sexy.' And I agree with her."  
"I'm not sure I do," I said as I looked around. The clothes in here was composed of more air than fabric, and didn't look comfortable at all.  
"There's got to be more than this. Come on," she said again and dragged me even more into the store. She saw a sales woman and walked up to her, not ashamed at all.  
"Hello. This is my friend, who is getting married tomorrow and we want something sexy for her so she can surprise the husband-to-be."  
I could feel my cheeks getting warmer, but no one noticed. That I was glad of.  
The sales woman was very nice, and showed us some lingerie that actually looked both comfortable and sexy. And it was more fabric than air. Sunny had actually convinced me to do this, and I got a black matching pair. Sunny forced me to take a red pair, too. But I would probably give them to Mel.

We had a lot of boxes with clothes in them, and Sunny didn't feel like carrying them in the dark.  
She could trip and the wedding dress could get ruined, she said. I told her I could take the dresses, and she could take the tuxes. But no, she wanted to stop the car outside the cave. And I had to admit it was a goot idea, becuse that meant I would be with Ian sooner. Just because, according to Mel, we wouldnt spend the night together, didn't mean I couldn't be with him until we went to bed.  
So, maybe an hour after the darkness had fallen on us we parked the van outside the cave.  
I took the two boxes the dresses was in, and the bag the lingerie was in and the rings while Sunny took the two boxes with tuxes. We wasn't far inside the cave before Mel came.  
"You're back already?" she was exited, and almost jumping as she walked.  
"Yeah, you think Jared can drive the van back?"  
"Sure thing. Follow me to the kitchen, won't you?"  
"Do you know where Ian is?"  
"In the kitchen, now come on." She dragged both of us along, and we met Jared on the way there.  
"Could you drive the van back? Oh, and yeah, take the tuxes," Mel said as she took the two boxes Sunny was carrying and gave them to Jared. Then, before he had the time to response we were walking again.  
I heard alot of voices from the kitchen, but only female ones.  
And as we entered it, I saw that there was only females there. In fact, every female in the caves.  
"What is this?"  
"We –" she looked around herself –"are throwing you a bachelor party! Now, give me that bag. It looks expensive," she said and before I had the time to stop her she had the bag in her hand and was looking into is. My face must have been crimson.  
"Ooh, look at that," she said as I took the bag back before she could do anything I really didn't want her to do. Like show them.  
"She forced me," I muttered.  
"Whatever, where is my dress?"  
I placed the two boxes on one of the 'tables' and gave her the one on the top that contained her dress. She had a big smile on her face as she opened the box and looked inside.  
Then her face fell, and I was worried. Wasn't it as beautiful as both Sunny and I thought it was?  
"I'm sorry if you don't like it, it's just..."  
"Shhh!" she interuppted me and held the dress up so she could really see it.  
Then she slowly and carefully put the dress in the box again, and looked up at me.  
I wasn't ready when she threw her arms around me, and I stumbled a few steps back.  
"Thank you, it's wonderful. Perfect even."  
"So you like it?"  
"Like it? I love it. Now, let me see your dress," she said and was on her way to the other box to remove the top.  
"No, it's a surprise. I don't want anyone to see it yet."  
"Sunny saw it," she pouted and I smiled. That pout wouldn't work this time.  
"You could have helped me pick it out, remember?" I reminded her and her pout disappaered.  
"Okay, then. But you won't see him until tomorrow. Because this bachelor party will make you want to sleep early." Her words made me stiffen at first, and I was going to argue with her. That was before I remembered my plan.  
"Let me just leave the dress in our room... wait, where are we sleeping?"  
"I'm sleeping with you in your room."  
"Yeah, right. So, I'm just going to leave the dress so I'm sure no one will see it, then I'll go to the bathroom and then I'll be right back. I'm back in a few minutes," I said and turned around hoping Mel wouldn't stop me. But I was lucky, she didn't. I hadn't lied, I just wasn't telling the entire truth. I hurried to our room and left the dress, and then hurried to the bathroom, all the time thinking about where I could find Ian. I had no idea of where he was, so I didn't know where to look.  
I decided to try in the game room. Maybe they had fixed a bachelor party for him, too.  
I heard Mel's voice on the way to the game room, and I hurried to hide and found a corridor.  
I was standing in a pitch black corridor that lead to nowhere, waiting to be sure Mel was gone when I heard familiar footsteps. Ian. He was getting closer, and would walk by the corridor I was still hiding for Mel in.  
A second later I saw a dark silhouette that matched Ian's, so I pulled my arm out and dragged him inside the corridor.  
"What the...?" he started to say but I pressed my lips to his before he would turn any attention on us. Mel could still be out there looking for me.  
He didn't respond at first, but then he seemed to recognize the lips as mine and his started to move.  
The kiss was gentle at first, but we depened it at the same time and our tounges met, dancing around. As a response Ian pressed me closer to the wall, our bodies so close they could only count as one. I moaned quietly into his mouth, and moved my hands from his chest to his hair. I gripped his thick, black hair tighly between my fingers on my right hand, and placed my left around his neck to pull him even closer. He took one small step backwards, as if he knew it was uncomfortable for me to be so close to the hard wall behind me. But I didn't let myself come any further away from him, and jumped up so my legs were around his waist. He pressed me against the wall again and this time it was much more comfortable. I could have stayed there forever, kissing him forever but both of us needed air. When my head started to spin he moaned into my mouth and then left it, keeping his head a few inches from mine. He traced his hands down my side and placed them on my thighs around his waist, holding me close. Even in the darkness I could see that his eyes were full of joy, love and lust. I felt just the same.  
We were both panting from the lack of air and the depth of the kiss.  
"So... what are we... hiding from?" he whispered.  
"Mel... bachelor party. Missed... you."  
"I noticed," I could hear the smile in his voice and then his lips pressed against mine one gentle time.  
"How was your day?"  
"Long, boring. Yours?"  
"It was actually fun."  
"Oh, really?"  
"Mmmh, and damn you'll be sexy in the tux I got for you," I murmured against his lips and he chuckled.  
"Well, you're always sexy as hell."  
"Oh, then I have a surprise for you," I murmured back, thinking about the lingerie I had got earlier.  
"Give me a clue?" he asked, curious.  
"No, not really," I teased and his lips searched down my jaw to my throat and collar bone, and up again until they reached my lips. My heart was beating so fast and hard I thought it would break free from my chest.  
"You really don't want to give me a clue?" he asked against my lips in the most sexy whisper I had ever heard and I moaned. He wasn't fair, but two could play that game.  
"No, because if I would show it to you now, your heart would skip so many beats you would collapse."  
"I think I can handle it..."  
"Well, let's just say I was in a very,_ very..._ _womanly_ store today and got something to wear just for you tomorrow." I heard his breath hitching and I smiled against his lips.  
"Now you better let me go or Mel will kill me when she finds me like this."  
"I don't think I will ever want to let go of you, but I can't let her kill you," he murmured back and then his lips pressed against mine again. When they broke apart he realesed me and before I left I whispered my plan to him.  
"Make sure you don't fall asleep tonight, because I have a plan."  
I really didn't want to leave him, but I had to. Or Mel would kill me.

Mel wasn't really that hard on me. I had only been away for an half an hour, so she didn't kill me. Although she did scream at me, and wondered where I had been.  
"There was a line to the bathroom," I tried to lie but she saw through me.  
"And that's why your lips are red and swollen?" she had answered me and I had turned crimson again.  
The party hadn't been that bad. We had talked about everything, and I had told them about our day. Now we was on our way back to our rooms, and of course Mel watched my every step.  
I could hear both Ian and Jared talking as we walked pass their room, and I smiled.  
Mel noticed of course, and wondered why I was so happy all of a sudden.  
"I just remembered I will be married in a few hours," I smiled even wider and she shoved me a little, laughing.  
"Can you at least tell me what the dress looks like?"  
"It's white," I said, not willing to give away more. I wanted it to be a surprise to her as well.  
"I can't wait until tomorrow, and I really want to see the look on Ian's face when he sees you in those sexy as hell lingerie you are going to wear."  
I laughed with her, after I had shoved her and then we were at our room.  
Lucky for me, Mel took the mattress against the wall. That meant it would be easier to sneak out.  
And she was tired, too, the opposite to me. I was too exited to be tired, and I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep many hours. But at the same time I knew I should. Tomorrow would be a long day.  
"Don't you dare do anything tonight," Mel mumbled right before she changed side, sounding asleep already. I layed there on my back, watching the stars as I waited.  
When I was sure Mel was asleep, and Jared, too, I got up as quietly as I could.  
I felt like a teenager, sneaking out to my boyfriend in the middle of the night, without my parents knowing. Oh, Mel would be mad at me if she found out.  
I closed the door as quietly as I could, and then creeped down the corridor hoping no one was awake.  
I stopped outside of Jared and Mel's room, where it was very quiet. The door was cracked open, just enough for me to see inside. There was two sleeping bodies on the floor, and I cursed Ian for falling asleep. There was a chance I might wake Jared up, and I really didn't want that.  
But I creeped inside, walking toward Ian, who was on the mattress closest to me.  
Before I had even taken two steps into the room Ian started to move, and got up. So maybe he wasn't asleep after all.  
He quickly walked up to me and took my hand, only so he could lead me out into the corridor again.  
"So, my little runaway, where are we going?" he whispered as we were outside, and I lead him through the corridors towards the old hole.  
"Why are we going here?"  
"Because we're not."  
"Then where are we going?"  
"You'll see," I said as I lead him towards the exit. This was a starry night, and I had planned to be outside, in Ian's arms, watching all those stars.  
We laid down on the ground, Ian's arms around me and my head against his chest, and watched all those stars. It would take years to count them all. It didn't surprise me that I didn't miss those stars at all. I didn't miss being on another planet. This was my home. Right here, in Ian's arms.  
We laid there until we saw the first signs of the sun rising, just talking and being. Kissing. It was a perfect night, and no one exept us knew about it. The way I wanted it to be.  
I hadn't slept at all, and I knew I would regret that later. But not yet, not until I was ready for bed again.

I had insisted this day would be like any other day. The others would work today, before the cermony later on the afternoon, and everyone though I should take the day off. But I wanted to work, so I would be. In the kitchen, nowhere near Ian. Mel would probably bring food to him so she could make sure he was nowhere near me. Her and her stupid traditions.  
I would just leave early so I could clean myself up and get ready.

Ian realeased my hand right outside our bedroom, placing a gentle kiss on my lips. Mel and everybody would be up soon, so it was time to go. I snuck back into the room, finding Mel very much asleep on her mattress. I laid down on mine, and felt the tiredness creeping in on me. I figured I could sleep an hour, and then she would just wake me up. So I relaxed, and fell asleep in seconds.

* * *

**There are links to Wanda's dress on my page. **

**Let me know what you think, keep on reading.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay, here it is. The BIG day.**

**Btw, lemons in the end.**

* * *

"Wandaaaa? Time to wake up…" I jolted up of bed from Mel's words, and noticed it was very light in the room.  
"What time is it?"  
"You're-getting-married-in-a-few-hours-o'clock," she said and I got up so fast my head was spinning.  
"Why didn't you wake me up?"  
"I just did."  
"Before, I mean. I told you I wanted to work..."  
"Yeah, well, you looked so peaceful. So now, go get some lunch or breakfast or whatever, and then you're getting ready for the cermony." I was to happy to be mad at Mel for not waking me up, and I was nearly bouncing to the kitchen. Almost everyone apart from Ian was there, and I guessed Mel had kicked him out before she woke me up. I couldn really concentrate on the conversations I was having, I just answered and then totally forgot the question a second later. I didn't feel the taste of the food I was eating, that's how exited I was. I tried to eat slow, but it didn't really work so well. Plus, the food just made me feel nauseus. I ate anyway, forcing myself to take one bite at the time.  
"Wanda, did you just hear what I said?"  
"No, not really," I said, and it came out sounding like a question making most people in the room laugh.  
"I said it's only one and a half hour left, you should go and get clean," I was standing up when Mel said there was only one and a half hour left, and didn't really hear the last part.  
"Don't forget you'r se..." Mel started to say as I walked out of the room, but I cut her off.  
"Oh, shut up!"

I was in the bathingroom only minutes later, holding the new lingerie in my hands.  
I choosed the black one, and had left the red pair in the room along with the dress. I didn't want it to get dirty, which it probably would be anyway in these caves.  
The water was refreashing, and I tried not to cut myself as I shaved my legs.  
It was a hard thing to do in the darkness, but it was something I was used to now and it didn't take long. But today I forced myself to take the time I needed, since I really didn't want to bleed today.  
I washed my hair with some shampoo we had taken on the last raid, and then I was done.  
So I got up from the water and qickly dried myself with a towel. I wasn't nervous until I put on the lingerie. That just made it much more final for some reason. It couldn't be much more time left now until I could finally call Ian O'Shea my husband. Until I actually had a last name. Wanda O'Shea, and not just Wanda. This stupid little thing made some tears leak over and I cursed myself for crying.  
"Okay now, deep breaths," I said to myself as I searched for my clothes. When I found them, I also noticed they were soaking wet. Great, I couldn't even use them the few minutes until I reached our room. I looked around myself and noticed that all there was to cover myself up with was the towel.  
"Please don't let anyone see me, please," I mumbled as I wrapped the towel around my body, and peeked around the corner. No one was there, so I took my old clothes and ran as fast as I could barefoot. I was lucky enough that I didn't meet anyone on the way to our room, but Mel wasn't alone.  
"Jared, you should probably go," she said to him as she saw me in nothing but the towel.  
"You too, Mel," I said, looking at her.  
It seemed like Jared had found a very interesting spot on the wall that he was looking at.  
"Why?"  
"Because you can't see the dress until it's time, and you need to get done yourself."  
She glared at me but left with Jared, leaving me alone. I dropped the clothes in the laundry pile, and dropped the towel there, too, as soon as I had made sure the door was closed.  
I tried my best to make something useful with the hair, but I failed and let it free, falling over my shoulders. It was wavy since it was still moist.  
I took three long strides to the box that contained my dress, and opened it carefully.  
I was just as careful as I put it on, not wanting to ruin it.  
A few seconds after I was completly done I heard a knock on the door, and Amanda's soft voice.  
"Wanda, are you done?"  
"Yes, is everyone there already?"  
"Everyone exept you and me," she answered me and I heard the smile in her voice.  
"Amanda, you can go ahead. I'll be right there." I heard her footsteps fading, and I waited another minute before I left the room. I was lifting the dress up, so that I wouldn't step on it and if anyone would of seen me there and then they would have laughed. A beautiful dress, and then black, normal shoes. But it was impossible to walk in high heels in these caves, and I really didn't think that it would have worked any better on a flat ground. So normal, comfortable shoes would do.  
When I rounded the corner to the corridor that lead to the game room I saw Mel.  
She was absolutly stunning in the dress she was wearing, and it fitted her perfect.  
She almost started to cry when she saw me, but I couldn't let her do that. Because if she cried, so would I.  
"No, no tears are leaking over today," I said, and we laughed instead. She gave me a light hug, that I almost didn't feel.  
"You are so beautiful, Wanda."  
"You too, Mel."  
"I thought so too, until I saw you."  
"You look wonderful," Jeb suddenly said then. I hadn't even noticed him standing there before.  
"Are you ready?"  
"Never been more ready in my lives," I said truthfully.  
"See ya inside, then," Jeb said and then he was gone.  
Mel gave me another hug, still as careful.  
"Count to ten," she said and then she started walking. I did what she told me too, and started walking ten seconds later. Right before I rounded the corner to the game room I took another deep breath, and let go of my dress. The first thing I saw as I entered the room was all the light. It was much brighter than I had ever seen any other room in these caves. They had used all the daylight they could, and it seemed like they had used every lamp they could find in this place. They had done alot in just one day.  
The second thing I saw was all the people around me. They were standing so that they made a path I would walk on, and have people on both my sides. All I could see was smiles.  
My eyes wandered off to the front of the room, and I saw Jeb, Jamie and Jared up in the front of all the people. My eyes wandered more, and I saw Mel standing next to Doc. And next to Doc was Ian.  
My heart skipped a beat when I saw him. He was even more handsome than I could have dreamed of in the black suit that fitted him perfectly. His thick, black hair was messy, just the way I liked it.  
He had a short stubble. Just enough to be sexy, but not so much that it would tickle when I kissed him. His vivid blue eyes were more alive then ever, burning with emotion and he had put on a smile he knew I couldn't resist.  
Eventually I reached him, and his hands quickly found mine, twined together.  
"You're breathtaking, Wanderer," he mouthed at me and those words took all my nervousness away.  
"I love you," I mouthed back before Doc started talking. I tried to concentrate on his words, even though it was hard to concentrate on anything else then Ian.  
I managed not to cry until it was time to say the words. Mine was only a whisper, but Ian spoke his words loud and clear for everyone to hear. Doc said something else before he said the words I'd been longing to hear for so long.  
"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."  
Ian placed one of his hands on the side of my face right before his lips came down hard on mine. I locked my arms around his neck, pulling myself closer, kissing him back. But he let go all too soon.

We got hugs and congratulations from everyone, and I was a little surprised that everyone included Maggie and Sharon.  
Kyle, Jared, Trudy and Lily disappeared for a while, only to come back with food for everyone to eat.  
Jared, Kyle and Suny had made a small raid the other day to get some new, 'wedding' food to eat.  
Everyone got their food and took a place on the floor, talking to each other.  
Ian pulled me down into his lap without hesitation.  
"Don't want that dress to get ruined," he murmured against my lips and I smiled, pressing my lips against his. I forgot about the world around us, like I almost always do when he kisses me. But this kiss was different and at the same it was just the same. Different because a new emotion I couldn't name was mixed into the kiss, making it rougher, wilder. And I loved it.  
"Good or bad?" he whispered against my lips as they broke apart and my face turned into one big smile. Because this was so much more than good.  
"So much more than perfect," I whispered back, staring into his blue eyes. Drowing in them.  
"Why are you looking at me like that?"  
"I was more than right yesterday when I said you would be sexy today."  
"You should look yourself in the mirror, Wanda," he smiled back.  
"Ooh, then..." Mel started but I interuppted her. She had clearly heard what Ian had said to me as she walked pass us, and decided to say something.  
"Melanie, you're not saying a word."  
"I wasn't going to say anything about that," she lied smoothly.  
"Good. Then you can leave me and my husband alone," I answered her, never breaking my eyecontact with Ian.  
"That's something I won't get used to hearing any time soon."  
"What?"  
"Being your husband. But I must admit, it's a wonderful feeling."  
"It's a wonderful feeling being your wife, Ian O'Shea," I whispered quietly before we kissed again, this time deepening the kiss in a way we probably shouldn't with all these people around.  
"Let's get out of here," Ian whispered as our lips broke apart and I nodded in agreement.  
In one swift movement, he was standing up with me in his arms, holding me in a firm grip.  
He walked with long strides, and no one said anything as we left the game room.

"Good thing you left the door open," he said as he stopped outside our room, and then walked inside.  
He gently put me to the floor, so that he could close the door, and then I was in his arms again.  
He was standing with his hands loosly around my waist, and I had my hands on his chest.  
All I could think about was that I really wanted to take off that jacket. When I tried, his hands stopped me.  
"I thought you said I was sexy wearing this," he teased, his eyes penetrating.  
"Believe me, you'll be sexier without it," I said honestly and he removed his hands from my wrists, letting me take the jacket off. I tossed it aside,  
and also took off the tie and unbuttoned a few buttons. Just so that I could see his chest. I smiled when I was satisfied, and he chuckled.  
"Don't you think I've waited long enough for my surprise?" he said, placing small kisses on my bare skin, making my heart beat hard and fast.  
"Mmh, just help me unzip the dress first, will you?" I said, and turned around so that he could reach the zip easier. With gentle fingers he removed my hair from my neck, making me shiver.  
As he unziped the dress he placed kisses on my neck, making me shiver even more, smiling.  
"I still think you'll collapse," I joked while I turned around.  
"I think I'll be just fine," he said and tried to kiss me on the lips, but I turned around and walked a few steps into another direction, leaving him with a raised eyebrown. I tried not to laugh when I removed my shoes, enjoying the feeling of being barefoot again.  
I must admit that I was happy that there was dark in the room - the moon wasn't up yet to give the room light - when I started to pull my dress off. Ian stopped me this time, too.  
"You know what? Why don't I take care of that for you..." he said and traced his fingers down the dress. Even with all the fabric between his hands and my skin it left my skin burning.  
He gently removed the dress, his eyes boring into mine all the time. The dress fell quietly to the ground, and I stepped away from it. Ian's eyes grew wide for a second as he saw what I was wearing, but quickly tried to compose himself. He placed his hands on both side of my face, holding it gently and I leaned against his right hand. His lips found my skin, my jaw line, collar bone, throat, and it all made my breath speed up. His was even and calm.  
"Mmm, you're killing me, Wanderer," he murmured against my skin, smiling.  
"At least you didn't collapse," I whispered, taking his hair between my fingers, loving the feeling of his hair, and guided his lips to mine.  
"No, but my heart definatly skipped a few beats," he said against my lips before they were pressed together again. I pulled him closer, locking my arms around his neck. His hands searched their way down to my waist, and without breaking the kiss I unbuttoned his shirt and took it off. My hands searched over his naked chest, his strong arms and shoulders until they eventually found his hair, gripping it tight. He put his hands on my thights, pulling me up to his waist, and I locked my ankles around it. A quiet moan escaped my lips right before his lips left mine, so that we could breathe. But Ian's lips contiued to search over my naked skin, making my breath speeding up even more.  
My body tremored out of pleasure when his mouth found my troath, licking and sucking the bare skin, and another moan escaped from my lips and into his ear. His lips found mine again, and I took his bottom lip inbetween mine, sucking on it. We stood just like that, sucking each others lips, for a minute before I gave him a small entrance and his tounge found its way into my mouth.  
He let out a very sexy moan as out tounges met, dancing around, and I clinged closer to his body, never wanting to let go again.  
He started to move, and then gently placed me on the mattress, never breaking our kiss.  
He shifted himself above me, so that his weight would'nt be on me but I only pressed him closer, wanting to feel all of him against me. He was careful not to crush me, but let me lead him closer to me, placing his weight on me.  
When my head started to spin, I broke the kiss, leaving me panting on the mattress, and Ian panting above me. I fluttered my eyes open, only to find that Ian's eyes were open, too.  
The moon was rising in the night, letting in some light and I could see that his blue eyes were full of lust. Burning, even. I smiled, knowing I had the same effect on him as he had on me.  
I tried my best to unhook my bra - the hook was actally in the front -, but Ian was to close for me to reach it. Instead it was his fingers that found it and unhooked my bra. He tossed it aside, behind his back, and his eyes never left mine. I pressed my breast against his chest, liking this new skin to skin contact, as I placed soft kisses on his body. His jaw line, his troath, the crook of his neck, and back up again. As I did this, my hand traced down my side to his pants, unbuttoning them.  
My lips found his again, and this time I didn't tease him, but let him in at the same time our lips met.  
My eyes fluttered close as soon as our lips made contact, but I opened them again as Ian's lips stopped moving with mine, breaking the kiss. His eyes were filled with even more lust then the last time I had looked into them. He wanted this, just like I did. But they were also wary, careful.  
"Are you sure?" he whispered, panting.  
I nodded at him, unable to speak, as I looked into his eyes. I knew I wanted this. So much. And I was more than ready.  
"I don't want to hurt you," he whispered then, making me smile. He really didn't have to worry about me as much as he did.  
"You won't," I promised him, and with that promise his lips attacked mine again. Gentle and forcefull all at the same time. We kissed like that for minutes, and then the next thing I knew was that the rest of our clothes was on the floor. I didn't even realize when or how it happened.  
All I knew was that it was an amazing feeling feeling his naked body against mine.  
Our kiss ended so we could breathe again right before he started guiding himself into me.  
I could feel that he was as careful as he could, not wanting to hurt me at all. And it didn't hurt, at first. But then he reached a point and I let out a small hiss when I felt the sudden pain and my body tensed under his. He stopped immidiatly, his eyes on mine, worried.  
"S'okay, just kiss me," I whispered at him before I took his upper lip inbetween mine.  
I needed to be distraced from the pain, and this was the only way I knew would work.  
He waited until I was completley relaxed again before he pushed inside me again. This time I felt no pain, only the burning fire his lips left on mine and pure pleasure. He moved slowly, thrusting in and out making my body tremble and let out a moan.  
This was more than I ever would have imagined it to be, it was perfect. The part of my body his hands touched burned more alive then the other parts, and this feeling was everything. This feeling of being wanted, being closer to anyone that I have ever been. The feeling of that anyone being Ian.  
As he still thrusted in and out of me, his lips on mine, his tounge dancing in my mouth - I could feel I was close to falling of an edge. The edge of absolute, pure and wonderful pleasure. I was close to _my_ very first orgasm, and I was exited.  
I didn't know how it would feel like, but I really wanted to. It was supposted to be wonderful.  
I gripped Ian's hair tighter, making him moan into my mouth. Which was all I needed to fall off that edge. My eyes rolled backwards, and I broke the kiss so that I could arch my back, moaning his name. My whole body, from head to toes, tensed. It was more than I would have ever imagined. It was special, it was unique. I had never felt anything like it in all my lives, and I was happy to experience it here on Earth, my true home.  
As soon as the orgasm ended, my body relaxed again. My back fell back to the mattress, my head leaning on the pillow again.  
Ian made one last thrust and then his body tensed. He pressed his mouth against the crook of my neck, moaing my name and I could feel him cumming inside me. Just knowing that I did this to him, hearing my name escape his lips in a dark, husky voice, in this moment of pleasure made me fall off that edge all over again.  
His body collapsed on top of me, and both of us was panting. He placed a soft kiss on my lips before he rolled of me, onto his back. I rolled with him, putting my head on his chest. His arms were around me, his fingers drawing invisible patterns on my arms. I sighted and closed my eyes, enjoying this feeling. I wanted to keep it forever.

We didn't say anything. There was nothing to say in this perfect moment, nothing we needed to say. It was like we already knew what the other one was thinking. We layed there enjoying each others company for about ten minutes before I rolled up on him, so that we were face to face. His sapphire eyes were vivid, intense, joyful.  
I pressed an gentle kiss to his lips, but he quickly caught my upper lip and started sucking on it.  
He made a sexy noise, not really a moan, as I lightly bit his lower lip, and all the emotions I had just felt were waken inside me again. I urged the kiss to become more deep, and I moaned as his tounge darted into my mouth. This kiss had that rough feeling to it again, and it made my breath catch quickly. My now pretty slow heart beats raced, racing faster and harder then ever – or at least that's what it felt like.  
"Again?" he asked against my lips, and I smiled.  
"It is our wedding night, after all," I answered, and he, too, smiled. Our lips met again in a kiss, and he rolled us over so that I was on my back again. As our kiss grew more and more, became deeper and deeper, I could feel him becoming more hard against me, making me smile even wider in the kiss.  
He wasn't as careful this time, and I didn't feel any pain at all as he pushed himself into me.  
His hips started rolling, and as an reflex mine started rolling with his.  
I pressed him closer against me, urging him forward. Wanting him closer.  
"Wanda..." he groaned, while pulling back and pushing forward.  
My fingernails pierced his back as did this, only making him groaning more.  
He thrusted hard into me, making a loud moan escape my lips. My lips trembled against his, making it hard to kiss him. Only a second later, one hard thrust later, I could feel myself tighten around him for the third time this night, and my mouth let out one single cry.  
It was amazing how little he had to do to give me an orgasm, and as he came he shoved his mouth into my neck again, grunting against my skin and letting out a small whimper, I tightened around him one more time and then I relaxed under his panting body.  
He rolled away from me again, and I rolled with him this time, too.  
His arms tighened around my body, and I was completley relaxed against his chest, in his arms.  
This were where I belonged. I put one of my arms on his chest, next to my head and it didn't take long before I fell asleep to the sounds of his even heartbeats. Right before I drifted off, I heard him whisper four wonderful words to me.  
"I love you, Wanda."

* * *

**As usual, let me know what you think.**


	13. Chapter 13

When I woke up it was morning, and some light shone right into the room.  
I was filled with the same amazing feeling I felt everytime I was in Ian's arms, only this time it was a little bit better. I didn't know if it was from last night, or just the fact that I knew I had woken up in my husbands arms. He was still fast asleep beside me, and I pulled myself closer to him.  
I had always liked watching him sleep, although it didn't happen so often since he always woke up before me. He looked so peaceful as he lay on his side, with one of his arms loosly over my waist.  
I smiled as I looked at him now, his dark hair a mess on his head. He looked rested, happy.  
He would probably wake up soon, and I didn't wan't to leave him. But as always when I woke up I needed to eat something. This body had always needed to eat right away, from the second it woke up. Something I didn't enjoy very often, since I liked laying in bed awhile. Just resting with Ian. That part of the morning was always my best part of the day, except the nights before we fell asleep.  
Because I got to spend it alone with him.

As I expected, Ian started to stir only minutes later, pulling me closer.  
"You been awake for long?" he murmured, his voice thick with sleep. His eyes were still closed, so I didn't know how he knew I was awake.  
"No, not at all. How did you know I was awake?"  
"Because I know you, Wanda. I don't have to look at you to know how you feel, or know if you're asleep or awake. I just know."  
"I'm glad you know me."  
"Me, too. And you're hungry," he murmured and only a second later my stomach growled making us both chuckle.  
"I was about to go eat something, but I didn't want to leave you."  
His lips searched for mine, and found them.  
"You... are staying right... here," he said between the kisses. He gave me one last kiss and then got up, pulled on a pair of pants and a t-shirt and then sneaked out of the door.  
I smiled as I watched him do this, and figured I might as well get dressed, too.  
So I got up and found Ian's shirt from last night, and put it on, buckling almost every button.  
Then I laid down in bed again, waiting for Ian to return.

He got back almost ten minutes later, with no breakfast as I had thought he would.  
"What? No breakfast for your wife?" I laughed, and he smiled.  
"That was my plan, but somethings up with Sunny. Kyle said she's been crying for like an hour, and she only want's to talk to you."  
I was up as soon as he said Sunny had been crying. I had a good idea what this was about.  
"Where is she?" I said as I found a pair of jeans and pulled them on, almost making myself trip over myself as I did it. Ian walked up to me, and  
put his hands on my shoulders.  
"Okay, take it easy. I don't want you to break your legs. And she's in the kitchen."  
I only took his hand, and then started walking in a fast pace.  
When we reached the kitchen I saw that Sunny and Kyle wasn't alone.  
"Okay, everyone.. just go. Mel, Jared, you're staying with us," I said and everyone started to go without protesting. I walked right up to Sunny, who was standing in a corner crying, with Kyle trying to comfort something he didn't understand. When I saw her face I knew I was right.  
And I was right to tell Mel to stay. She might be able to help.  
"Kyle, move," I said and he did. I pulled Sunny up in a tight hug, trying to comfort her.  
"What happened?"  
"She's weaker. I thought she was getting stronger, but she's almost gone, Wanda. And I don't know what to do," she whispered back, sobbing.  
"I think we need to tell him, Sunny," I said, only for her even though the rest could hear me.  
"What's going on?" Kyle asked, looking at me. He figured I would tell him, but this wasn't mine to tell.  
"Kyle, Sunny need to tell you something," I said, looking at Sunny all the time, making sure she could do this. She nodded at me and Kyle's head turned to Sunny at once, and she inhaled deeply.  
"Sunny?"  
"When Amanda got back, when I saw her… I don't know how to say this but... Jodi's back."  
"She's back?" Kyle asked disbelieving, and Sunny nodded. Then his face broke out in a huge smile.  
"We need to talk to Doc," he blurted out and was on his way to go but I stopped him.  
"Kyle, it's not that easy. We talked to Doc as soon as Sunny found her. We really should wait."  
"Why? Jodi is back,_ I_ want her back."  
"She's weak, Kyle. And she's only getting weaker. It's not sure she'll come back. She wants too, but since she's weak…" I trailed off when I saw the expression on Kyle's face as he listened to what I said. He looked so… helpless.  
"There's got to be something we can do!"  
"Kyle, I'm sorry. But we have to wait for her to get stronger, and hope for the best. There's really nothing else to do…" my words trailed of when I  
remembered something. I was wrong. There was one thing we could do. Only I wasn't sure it would work. And could I really do that to Sunny? I knew Kyle would do it, he would do anything to get Jodi back. But it wasn't fair to Sunny. Or Jodi, for that matter.  
"Wanda, what are you hiding?" Kyle asked me then. It was easy to see when I lied, and someone always noticed. And that someone was always Ian. I knew both Ian and Mel had heard the lie in my voice when I figured out there was something we could do to bring Jodi back, but Kyle had, too.  
"I just… no, it won't work."  
"Wanda, it might. It worked on me." Mel knew what I was thinking about, of course she did.  
"But just because it worked on you doesn't mean it will work on Jodi. You're emotions for Jared are so strong, I don't know about her feelings for  
Kyle."  
"But Wanda, I was _gone._ Jodi is still here. It's a big chance this might work."  
"We don't know that, Mel. She's getting weaker."  
"You were gone?" Jamie asked, shocked. He had just walked into the kitchen and heard the last words. Mel placed one arm around him, and pulled him close. She made sure she had eye contact with him before she said something. Her disappearing was only known between me, Ian and Jared and of course herself. We hadn't told anyone.  
"I… kinda disappeared for three days. But I got back, didn't I? Wanda made sure of that."  
"How did you come back?" he asked her.  
"She asked Jared to kiss me. I got pretty mad when I found my way back, and bit him," she laughed with Jared and Ian squeezed my hand. He knew it was necessary at the time, and his idea, but that didn't mean he wanted to hear about it. I squeezed it back, and leaned my head into his side.  
"So what, I have to kiss her?" Kyle asked, looking at me. His eyes had never left mine.  
"It might work, but that doesn't mean it's fair."  
"I can do it."  
"I know you can, Kyle. But it's not fair to either Sunny or Jodi."  
I saw a sad expression on Sunny, and I knew she did love Kyle in a way. Not just because of Jodi.  
"To Jodi? Isn't it fair if we do this to get her back?" Kyle asked, still looking helpless.  
I was about to answer him when Mel did.  
"No, Wanda is right. It's not fair. Believe me. I was so mad, I felt so betrayed when Jared kissed me. Because I felt that he kissed Wanda, since she was the one who controlled the body. Not even when I had control of it, it felt good. Because I wasn't the one who kissed him. And then, when Ian…" she trailed off. "Let's just say, if I had gotten control of my body, he would be pretty dead right now. Sorry, Ian." She looked at him apologetic.  
"And it's not fair to Sunny, because she loves you, too, Kyle. Not just because Jodi does," I continued before anyone had the time to say anything. I didn't want her to suffer like I did, when Jared kissed _Mel._ I didn't love him now, but I did at the time. Just like Sunny loved Kyle in a way.  
"I can do this. Let him do this to get Jodi back. She can deal with it. I can, too," Sunny said then, shocking both Mel and me with her words.  
"Sunny, if you do this. It's going to hurt, you're going to suffer."  
"I know. But it's worth it. I'm getting a new body who won't love him, right?"  
"That might not be true, Sunny. You might still love him," Mel said. She knew exactly how true her words was.  
"But Wanda doesn't love Jared," Sunny continued to argue and I had to say something.  
"No, I don't. Not anymore. And that's because I have Ian. He is my everything, and I love him with both my soul and heart._ I_ fell in love with him when I was in Mel's body. She loved Jared with all of her heart, and I loved Ian with all of my soul. It changed me. Me, the worm in her head,-" I felt Ian stiffen a little, and he would want to disagree with me, so I continued talking before he had the chance, -" and that's why I don't love Jared. But you, Sunny, you don't have anyone you love in that way, do you? _You_ as in the _soul_ inside Jodi." She looked down at my words, looking sad again. She knew I was right. And I hated being right. At least now, when it would hurt someone.  
No one said anything as they considered my words. Kyle looked at Sunny, just like Jared, Mel and Jamie did. Ian walked up to me where I stood next to Sunny and placed his arm around my waist, pulling me close. I leaned my head against his shoulder, sighting.

It was quiet a short moment more, before anyone said something.  
"I'm okay with it, so let him to it. He can kiss me, or her... or whatever."  
"Sunny, are you sure?"  
"I can't let her just slip away. It took so long to find her, and we have come to like each other during this.. what is it? Almost a week?"  
"Six days," I answered her. I couldn't help but recognize al little peice of myself in her. She didn't want Jodi to disappear, just as I couldn't erase Mel when she was gone.  
"Wow, she's almost as strong as you, Wanda. You were ready to go through a lot more pain than she is. And for a longer time, " Mel said, as she looked over at me, giving me a small smile. I knew what she meant, and I smiled back.  
"You're stronger, Mel. I was just ready to do that to be near the ones I loved, but I had to let you go," I mumbled back at her. But my words were true. I was ready to through a lot of pain just so that I could be near Ian and everyone else. So I knew maybe Sunny and Jodi had to go through pain to get back to the lives they wanted to live.  
"Maybe we should give them some privacy," I said and was ready to go when Sunny stopped me.  
"No, Wanda, please?"  
"Are you sure?"  
She nodded as she bit her lower lip, so I stayed. Mel, Jared and Jamie left, and Ian was about to, when I grabbed his wrist and forced him to stay. I wanted him with me, if Sunny and Kyle allowed it. It would be easier to give them their privacy if Ian was here.  
So Ian snaked his arms around me, and I leaned my back against him. I could feel him giving me a kiss in my hair, and then he leaned his chin on my head.  
Kyle looked very uncomfortable where he stood, a few feet away from Sunny. He walked slowly, very slowly up to her, and stopped right beside her. It looked like he was prepearing himself for kissing her. He hadn't kissed Jodi in years, after all. It was almost like a first kiss all over again.  
Sunny surprised him by pressing her lips against his, and first it looked like Kyle was about to shove her away, But he didn't. Instead he moved closer, and I stopped looking at them, turning around to look at Ian instead. I placed my arms around his neck, and his arms were still around my waist. I stroked his hair as I looked into his eyes.  
"You think this will work?" I asked him, not knowing what I thought.  
"No idea. Maybe we should tell Jared to give it a try," he laughed and I laughed with him.  
"Don't let Mel know it was your idea, or I won't be able to kiss you again," I said and pressed my lips on his. One time, two times, three times. Then our moment were disturbed.  
"Ow, what the -!" we heard Kyle screaming, and we quickly looked over.  
Sunny looked a bit disorienting, and Kyle was jumping on one leg.  
"What happened?" Ian said, looking like he was about to laugh.  
"Sunny fucking kicked me!"  
A big smile broke out on my face and I walked up to Sunny to give her a hug.  
"You okay?"  
"Yeah," she smiled now too, and a few tears leaked over.  
"She's never been this strong," she continued, looking over at Kyle, who was still jumping on one leg, cursing.  
"Good kick, Jodi. And I have to tell you that he deserved it," I laughed and from the corner of my eye I saw Kyle stopping.  
"What did you just say?"  
"I said you deserved it," I answered him, knowing that wasn't what he meant at all.  
"You know that wasn't what I meant, Wanda. What did you say before?"  
"Do you honestly think Sunny would kick you?"  
"I don't know! First she kissed me, and then she attacked me. Out of nowhere!"  
He really didn't get what all of this was about? Didn't he understand that Sunny wasn't the one who had kicked him? That Jodi was in there, and that she had taken control of her body?  
"God, Kyle, where are all of your remaining braincells right now? You should know what this mean. We just talked about it," Ian said, coming up behind me.  
"We already been through this, bro. You got the brain, I got the looks."  
"I actually think he got both," I said, smiling at Kyle who made a little grimace at my comment.  
"Come on, Kyle. Not even you are this dumb," Ian continued, and Kyle made a grimace.  
"Just tell me what's going on, please? And tell me why she kicked me."  
"Sunny, you feel like telling Kyle over here why you hurt him?" I said, smiling at her.  
"Kyle..." she started, walking over to him and put on of her hands on his cheek.  
"I didn't hurt you, Jodi did."  
His face was shocked at first, and then it broke out in a big grin.  
"Jodes? You really there?" he asked, and Sunny nodded.  
If possible, his grin grew wider and then his lips attacked hers.  
"Really shouldn't have done that," I whispered to Ian, who chuckled.  
"I actually feel sorry for him right now," he answered me and then Kyle jumped back.  
A small drip of blood was on his lips. So she bit him this time. Now I saw Mel in Jodi.  
Was it possible to see such an resembelance between four different people?  
"Jodi, stop hurting me!?" he made it sound like a question, and Ian laughed behind me.  
"I guess she really doesn't want you to kiss her," I heard Mel saying then. I wondered how long she'd been standing there.  
"We figured you'd be done by now, and we didn't get to eat our breakfast," she continued and then I remembered my hunger. My stomach growled, only for my ears, and I groaned, leaning into Ian more.  
"You, stay right here," he said and walked to where the food was. He looked at it for a second, and then grabbed some doughnuts, two juice boxes, a piece of the garlic bread from yesterday that was in the oven right now, and a bag of cheetos before he walked back to me.  
"Love is when he brings you cheetos," I smiled, and he chuckled.  
"I did promise you breakfast in bed, didn't I? And cheetos is the perfect dessert," he said and gave the bag to me.  
"I guess you did, so let's go back to bed," I said, and gave him a small kiss, and then we started to walk away, toward our room.  
"Hey, newlyweds, where you going?" I heard Jared joke behind us, and Mel probably smacked him on the arm.  
"Since your girl didn't let us spend the night together, we're spending the day in bed instead," Ian said over his shoulder, and smiled at me.  
"You didn't!" Mel screamed then, and I knew that she understood the hidden meaning in Ian's words.  
"Jared, why didn't you watch him!?" I heard then, and another smack, making me laugh.  
"Mel, you were pretty easy to sneak out on, so don't blame him," I shouted back, and laughed.  
I didn't hear her response, and hoped she would be calmer when I met her the next time.  
Or she would shout at me. Try to make me appologize for not doing what she told me to.  
And things like that. But now I didn't care. Now me and Ian was on our way to our bedroom, with breakfast, and we would spend the day together. Starting with eating breakfast in bed.  
This whole day would be perfect. It had started perfect, with me waking up with Ian.  
It had continued to be perfect, when Jodi got stronger. It would be more perfect as soon as Ian and I was alone. And it would end perfect, with me falling asleep in Ian's arms.

* * *

**So what do you think?  
Jodi is back, well almost anyway...  
If she gets her body back, what do you think will happen between Sunny and Kyle?  
Is there love between the two of them? **

**Let me know, and continue reading ^^**


	14. Chapter 14

It had been four days since Jodi had grown stronger, and she was now completley back.  
All that was left now was to take Sunny out and put her into a new body.  
Almost everyone had agreed to give Sunny a new body, and it would be nice to have someone else help with all the things I did. I loved going on the raids, but it would be nice to skip a few now and then.  
Let Sunny go instead of me and Ian.  
It was always me, Ian, Jared and Mel who went on the raids. Jared would want Mel to stay home sometimes, and Ian wanted me to stay home. No one wanted to risk the girls' they loved.  
And me and Mel was the opposite, didn't want the mens' we loved being on the raids.  
So we had made a deal, if I went, so did Ian. If Mel went, so did Jared.  
And since Jared always went on the raids - he was the best - so did Mel. And they needed me, so Ian always followed.  
We would leave for a new raid in only an hour, and this time Sunny followed. It was her body after all that we were getting, and she had a right to choose. Kyle followed, too, mostly to say goodbye to Amanda. We would drop her off at the caves she lived in, and then find a body for Sunny, and hopefully be back tomorrow.

But now I was on my way from the bathingroom. I had taken a quick bath to clean myself up.  
Ian was still asleep as I left him, and it was time to wake him up. If he wasn't already awake.  
Jared and Mel probably were, or at least Jared. And it wouldn't surprise me if Sunny and Kyle was deep asleep. Jared always woke up first, and woke everyone up.  
I had woken up from myself awhile ago, and I had already eaten breakfast.  
I found my jeans after awhile of searching, it was difficult to see in the dark, and pulled them on.  
It wasn't until I was about to leave that I slipped over a rock or something – as I said, it was dark – and fell to the ground. It didn't hurt, but I probably got a small scratch. And I had difficulties to support myself on my left foot.  
I groaned. Just perfect timing, of course I had to hurt myself as we were about to go on a raid.  
I tried to support myself as much as I could on both foots, so that I would walk faster, and stumbled my way over to the hospital. Doc probably wouldn't be there, but I knew where to find the No Pain.  
It took awhile for me to get there, longer than it used to, but eventually I made it.  
Doc was there, but fast asleep. For a quick second I wondered what he was doing there.  
Had he and Sharon had a fight, and had she kicked him out? I hoped not.  
I was as quiet as I could, so that I wouldn't wake him up, and quickly found the No Pain.  
I didn't have to wait long for the effect to work, and then placed the rest in my pocket.  
Just in case. I wouldn't tell Ian about this. I didn't want him to worry about me.  
It was just a sprained ankle, nothing to worry about. But if he asked, I would tell him the truth.  
That I had fallen over something, and hurt my ankle.  
I could walk completly normal as I walked back, and I felt no pain at all.  
Ian wasn't in our room, so I walked to the kitchen were I found everyone, including Ian.  
"There you are. I was beginning to worry about you... Which I should of, since your bleeding," Ian said as I sat down next to him, and he dried my blood away with his thumb. It wasn't much, just a scratch on my head.  
"Oh, well you shouldn't be. I tripped over something, it was dark and I didn't see anything. Nothing, really," I said, truthfully. A sprained ankle was nothing.  
"Then why do you have No Pain in your pocket?" he murmured to me.  
"How do you know?" I asked, curious. It was in my pocket, how did he see it?  
"You didn't hide it very well. I could see it as you walked into the room."  
I sighted. He knew everything, and I loved that about him.  
"Okay, so I might of sprained my ankle. But I'm not sure, and I didn't want to wake Doc."  
He had looked peaceful, and it was still early in the morning.  
"You _might_?" Mel asked me, and I nodded at her.  
"Give me your ankle," she said then and I smiled at her, doing as she said. She pulled my jeans leg up, and examined the leg.  
"So, the so called expert, do you find anything?"  
"You shouldn't have taken the No Pain, but I think it's a sprain, and you shouldn't support on it."  
"Told you," I said then, looking at both her and Ian.  
"And you shouldn't follow with us, Wanda."  
"Why?" I looked at Mel, as I asked her the question.  
"Like I said. You shouldn't support yourself on the foot. I am the expert after all," she grinned as she said the last part. She really was something of an expert when it came to sprained ankles or wrists.  
"What makes you an expert?" Kyle asked her, and she sighted.  
"I've had my deal of sprained ankles in my life."  
"How many times?"  
Mel and I looked at each other, and answered the question at the same time, laughing after.  
"Seven."  
"Seven?" Kyle was shocked and both Jared and Ian raised an eyebrown. Seven was seven times two often after all.  
"What the hell did you do? Torture yourself?"  
"Climbed trees, played football, climed more trees. And once, when I was eight, I fell off my bike."  
"Oh, and don't forget the time you were a cheerleder, and fell down. I'm surprised you didn't break your leg that time," I said then, and Mel glared at me. She didn't really like the fact that anyone knew about her being a cheerleder.  
Jared and Kyle almost dropped their chins, and Ian's eyebrown rose again.  
Mel seemed to want to dig a hole and hide in it for the rest of eternity.  
"You didn't tell Jared about this?" I asked, disbeliving. The told each other everything. But as I thought about it, I couldn't remember that conversation.  
"No, no one was supposted to know. And if you hadn't been inside me, no one would."  
"Oh, come on. You were cute as a cheerleder, don't be ashamed."  
"I was eleven. And no, I wasn't."  
"You were eleven, and _very_ cute."  
"I'm having trouble pickturing you as a cheerleder," Jared said then, smiling.  
"She only did it to...-" I started but Mel interuppted me by glaring at me.  
"I don't know about all of you, but don't you think we should leave Wanda and Ian, and find Sunny a new body?" Mel looked at me the entire time.  
"Why did she do it?" Jared whispered to me over the table, as quietly as he could.  
"I can hear you Jared, I'm not deaf. And Wanda, don't you dare say anything!"  
"Jared, you should probably ask her yourself, even though she probably won't tell you."  
Jared looked at her, and it seemed like he was thinking the same.  
Ian took my hand, and I squeezed it gently, trying to remember exactly why Mel had done it.  
I knew the reason; I just didn't remember how he looked like.  
I gasped as I realized why the boy looked so familiar too me.  
"Mel, I need to talk to you. Now."  
I got up and so did she, and I walked with a fast pace out from the kitchen.  
I had to be wrong about this. It couldn't be? Right? No way that it could be like I thought it was…  
"Wanda?"  
I stopped and turned around, so that I faced Mel.  
"The guy that you tried to impress, when you were a cheerleader… What was his name?"  
"Wanda, I was eleven. I don't remember, what is this about?"  
"Tell me about him."  
"Eh…" she looked like she was concentrating hard on remembering.  
"He was there on vacation over the summer, with his family. They were visiting relatives, and they knew my parents. That's how I met him. It's ridiculous really, I never even talked to him."  
"How did he look like? Brothers, sisters?"  
"Ehm… I think he had a brother, and a sister. Both older then him. Dark haired, pretty long… Wanda, what is this about?"  
"Think about it Mel. You're describing a guy, with black hair, long. Has a brother and a sister."  
Mel concentrated on my words, and it was obvious when she thought the same thought I had been thinking for several minutes know.  
"Oh no! It can't be, right?"  
"I don't know. And I'm not planning on asking him, Mel."  
"If I had a crush on him… Oh please, kill me now," she groaned the last part, just like I wanted to.  
We heard footsteps from the kitchen, and we stopped talking.  
First we saw Kyle, Jared and Sunny, and then Amanda and Ian came after them.  
Mel groaned again as she saw Ian.  
"Mel, it's not like you have a crush on my husband right now, so shut up!" I whispered to her, hoping no one would hear me.  
I still had a hard time picturing Mel having a crush on Ian when she was eleven, and I honestly I didn't want to. It was just stupid that she had a crush on him so many years ago, and only a few months ago she wanted to hit him when he kissed her lips, even though she knew it was me that he was kissing. But still. Just plain stupid and weird and definitely not something I wanted to think about.  
"It's not like I ever wanted to, right? And it's not like I knew it was him," she whispered back to me.  
"What are you two so sneaky about?" Jared asked, and put one of his arms around Mel's waist.  
It looked like she relaxed the second he did, and she probably did just as I always did when Ian put his arms around me.  
"Wanda just wanted to ask me something," Mel said quickly, and no one seemed to notice that her words were almost a lie. Sometimes I wished it was so easy for me. But at the same time I loved the fact that I couldn't lie to Ian. Not that I ever wanted too.

We followed them to the exit, were we said goodbye to everyone. Especially Amanda.  
It would be awhile until we saw her again. Ian said goodbye first.  
They hugged each other, and said a few words I didn't listen to.  
If I would, I would probably be crying. It was emotional for some reason.  
A brother saying goodbye to his sister, not knowing when they would see each other again.  
"Wanda, can I ask you something?"  
"Yeah, sure," I was a little confused by her question. What did she want to know?  
"I've been thinking about this for awhile, and I can understand if you don't want to answer my question… But, I've learned that the souls name have something to do with the planets they've been on. Your name is Wanderer, and I figured it had something to do with the fact that you've been on a lot of planets. Am I right?"  
I nodded at her, answering her question. For some reason I got reminded of my teaching days here in the caves, and noticed I missed it more then I thought I would.  
"How many lives have you lived?"  
I didn't know how to answer this question. Should I tell her the truth? If I did, she would find out about the fact that I had been inside Ian. How would she take that? I looked up at him, asking him with my eyes what I should do.  
"It's okay," he said and squeezed my hand.  
Amanda didn't seem too confused about our little exchange; she saw them between us all the time.  
"Earth is my ninth planet."  
"So, eleven lives?"  
"No, twelve actually. I had another host between Pet's body and this. Only for a few days, though."  
She looked surprised, but composed herself quickly. Now I was going to tell her the hard part, and I had no idea of how she would take it.  
"Who was your eleventh host? And why did you change?"  
I couldn't say it, didn't find the words, and I leaned into Ian for support.  
He removed his hand from mine, and wrapped his arms around me, and I relaxed instantly.  
I hadn't even realized I had stiffened, before I felt my body relaxing into his.  
I didn't have to look at Ian. He understood, and continued for me.  
"Her eleventh host was me." His words were confident, no hesitation as he spoke them.  
Amanda composed herself faster this time, and I couldn't read her emotions.  
Her poker face wasn't as good as Jeb's, but it was still good and hard to see through.  
"H-h-how? Why?" she asked, and Ian begun to explain.  
I didn't listen, I cut them out. Didn't want to hear the words, didn't want to experience it again.  
It was something I didn't like thinking about, and I really didn't want to hear about it.  
So instead I though about teaching. I would like to do it again, I had always liked doing it. Especially here in the caves, with all the people I care about. But as I thought about it, I figured I had told everyone all of my stories.  
They knew most of it, and I couldn't really tell them the stories again.  
Ian and Doc were always the one with the most questions, and Jeb and Jamie with the most interesting. But Walter and Wes had both of them asked me several questions I had to think about to answer, and they had been there supporting me when I needed it.  
As I though about them I got sad. I missed both of them, two close friends.  
Walter had left Earth too soon, but hopefully he was with his Gladdie now. Happy.  
But Wes was all too young to die. He and Lily had been so happy, and I felt so sorry for her.  
They had had so little time together.  
I couldn't even imagine a world without Ian. I couldn't imagine myself living if he was dead.  
Instantly, almost like a reflex, I leaned closer into his side and pulled him closer to me at the same time. I wanted to feel his living body closer to me. I wanted to feel his chest heave up and down with his even breaths.  
"Wanda?" Ian's voice pulled me back to reality, and I looked up at him. He looked… worried?  
I didn't realize a few tears were leaking over until I spoke. That's probably why he was worried.  
I wiped them of with the back of my hand before I answered him.  
"I'm okay. I just thought of something."  
His look clearly asked me what I was thinking about, but it wasn't something I wanted to talk about right now. With people around us.  
"I'll tell you later," I promised, and he hugged me tighter never breaking the eye contact.  
I heard Amanda then, saying something. I had almost forgotten about her being there, next to us.  
I turned to look at her, and she looked very calm. I couldn't tell if she had the poker face on or not.  
What did she think of me now? I felt the need to apologize.  
"I'm sorry," my voice was only a whisper for some reason.  
"You don't have to apologize for anything, Wanda. It's not your fault."  
I was about to argue with her. It was my fault. If I had just told Ian to stay in the van with Mel and Jared none of this would have happened.  
But I didn't have time to do just that, before Kyle spoke.  
"Amanda, we need to go." He said the words and then he turned around and walked out to the rest.  
"I'll see you, soon I hope," she said and then gave me a quick hug and left.  
As she had disappeared out the exit Ian lifted me up in his arms.  
"Ian?" I asked him, probably looking as confused as I felt.  
"Mel said you shouldn't support you foot, so I'm helping you do just that," he said, and started to walk. None of us said anything until we were in our room, sitting indian style on the mattress.  
Our fingers were intertwined together, our eyes boring into each other.  
"Tell me."  
"It's nothing really. I just thought about that maybe I would like to teach again, I miss it. And then I thought about Walt and Wes, and that I miss them too. And that I feel so sorry for Lily, they had so little time together. And I can't even think about not having you in my life. I don't know if I could exist if you didn't." I looked down at our hands as I spoke, twisted together like our lives.  
Ian unfolded one of his hands, and placed it on my cheek, making me look at him.  
His eyes were penetrating, burning beautifully, as they looked into mine.  
"I'm not leaving you. Ever," his voice was calm, confident.  
I climbed up into his lap, so that our faces were only a mere inch away from each other.  
I placed my arms around his neck, locking them there. His free hand was stroking my back.  
I closed my eyes, and leaned my forehead against his.  
"I know. It's just… I don't know what I would do if something happened to you."  
It was quiet for a few minutes, before he spoke.  
"Baby, look at me." I did as he said, and slowly opened my eyes.  
He moved his left hand so that it was on my other cheek, so that he was holding my face between his hands.  
"I am here. And I'm always going to be, okay?" It was easy to believe him.  
I nodded and he placed a chaste kiss on my lips.  
"Good. So don't ever think like that again." His voice was only a whisper, but he had a determination in his tone that made me believe him even more.

---

Ian and I were sitting in the hospital talking to Doc when they got back from the short raid.  
I had been right when I guessed he and Sharon had had a fight, and that's why he had been sleeping in the hospital. It was ridiculous really. She was one of the few that didn't want Sunny to be here in the caves. 'There wasn't enough room, and we already have a soul here' she had said, and Doc had argued. He was one of my best friends, but he didn't have to do that. I already knew how Sharon and Maggie felt about me, and Doc didn't have to argue with Sharon over it.  
And Mel was right when she said it was a sprain, and that I shouldn't support on it.  
Doc had just told me to take No Pain if it hurt, and I would.  
But since Ian insisted on carrying me, I hadn't had the chance to feel any pain yet.  
I was relaxing more and more into Ian's side, and I was close to sleep when we heard footsteps coming closer.  
We saw Mel and Sunny first, and then Kyle with a body over his shoulders.  
Jared was probably leaving the van, and it would be awhile before he would come back.  
I didn't take much notice on the girl hanging over Kyle's shoulder. Short, dark hair hanging over her small and dainty body. She looked cute.  
But when Kyle laid her down on the table, and I saw her face, my chin dropped.  
Long forgotten memories flooded back into my mind. Two children, girls, playing on the playground. Teenagers, talking about boys, friends, and music. And a dramatic, heart breaking goodbye.  
Two best friends saying goodbye, knowing they won't see each other again.  
Without realizing it I was standing up and walking toward the sleeping body on the cot.  
I didn't listen to the people around me, just looking at the 21 year old woman in front of me.  
She looked so different. In my memories she was blond, and had long beautiful curly hair.  
But it was the same person.  
"Celia."  
"You know her?" Mel asked me, and I didn't look up as I answered the question.  
"No. My body did, though. Before Rises with the Sun was inserted into it, they were best friends. They knew each other since they were born. They were like sisters."  
I held her hand, and squeezed it gently while Doc prepared himself for what he was going to do.  
I felt Ian standing behind me, and I leaned my back against him.  
"Where did you find her?" I asked as Ian took the cryotank Mel had in her hands, and prepared it. He was the best assistant, after all.  
"A couple of hours away from here. I don't really know where we were, since I fell asleep," Mel laughed, and I smiled. I hoped Celia had lived a good life before a soul was inserted into her. But at the same time a small part of me hoped that she was still in there, so that she could live again. I knew Sunny would take care of her body, but it would be nice to meet her.  
Very carefully Doc placed the beautiful soul in the cryotank, and Ian closed the lid.  
Now, all we could do was to wait.

* * *

**So, between this chapter and the next it's going to be a gap of a few months.  
Just so you know.  
In the beginning of next chapter you will now what happened under these months, and then the real story begins.**

Review, and just let me know what you think ^^


	15. Chapter 15

The months had flied by with the seasons.  
Winter was over, and the spring was creeping in on us.  
Spring was a season I had always loved, even though this was just the second one I exerienced.  
The weather was warmer, and there was more light in the caves. It was a warm season, and not just for the weather. It was a season that felt more alive for me than the others. Everything was growing, coming to life...  
As the months passed on, so did our lives.  
Sunny was perfectly happy in Celia's body, and the feelings she had had for Kyle was gone.  
Jodi had really tried to fit in here, not that she had to. She did her work perfectly fine, and she was a really nice person. She didn't hold any grudge against me or Sunny, and Jodi and I had become close.  
The people in the caves liked her, and she liked being here.  
She and Kyle fitted perfectly together. They were like me and Ian, or Mel and Jared.  
They were really made for each other, and tears had leaked over for me when I saw their reunion.  
It was so emotional, and sad and happy.  
Jodi had taken Sunny's place in Kyle's room, and now Sunny sleept with Lily.  
It felt strange to think that I had only been here for about a year, a little less.  
It felt like I had lived here my entire life. Lived with the people here my entire life.  
It was a great feeling waking up next to Ian every morning, spending time with my closest friends every day, and falling asleep next to Ian again at night. Life was really perfect the way it was.

It was lunch time and I, Ian and a few more people were heading for the kitchen.  
We had been working on the field all day, and it would be nice to take a break and eat something.  
But first I had someting else to do.  
"Ian? I just have to talk to Doc about something, save me a seat, okay?" I tried to say nothing but the truth, and Ian didn't seem to notice the  
small hesitation in my words.  
"Yeah," he answered me instead, and leaned down and placed a small kiss on my lips.  
I sighted, dropped his hand and watched him walk away with the rest of the people, before I changed direction and walked with long strides down to Doc, hoping he would be in the hospital.  
He was, but he wasn't alone. He and Jeb was talking about something when I entered the room, and Jeb left shortly after, giving me a quick 'hello' as he did so.  
"Wanda, what gives me the honour to talk to you today?" Doc said, and I walked up to one of the cots next to him, sitting down on it.  
"Hi, Doc. I was thinking that maybe you could help me with something."  
"Sure thing, Wanda. What can I help you with?"  
"Okay, first off, I don't want you to tell anyone about this. Especially not Ian, I don't want him to worry about me if he don't have too."  
"I don't know, Wanda. I-"  
"Let me finish, okay? I'm going to tell him, I promise. But if this turns out to be nothing, there is really no need too, right?" I didn't let him answer me before I continued.  
"Doc, I was wondering if you could examine me?"  
"Is something wrong?" The doctor in him was there now, it was easy to see, and I smiled. I loved seeing Doc in his doctor mood.  
"I don't know. That's why I came here."  
"Okay, tell me about it."  
"For the last week I've been feeling strange." I told him about the sudden nausea that I had been feeling, especially at the morning. The head spinning, the need to sleep more. He asked me questions that I answered, and then he told me to lay down on my back.  
He examined every part of my body, and he looked very concentrated the whole time.  
It was hard to see if he had found someting or not when he told me to sit up again, and I became slightly worried.  
"I think you should see a Healer. I have two teories, and you need a Healer to make sure if there is one of them, or something else."  
"Okay, what do you think it is?"  
"You have a slightly swollen uterus," he said, and I was even more worried. That really didn't sound good.  
"That means... It can have two meanings, and I believe more on the second one then on the first one."  
"And they are?"  
"The first one isn't good, and that's the biggest reason I need you to see a Healer. Because if it is the first theory, you're going to need alot of care. Better care then I can give you."  
I took a deep breath. This didn't sound good.  
"And the second one? Good or bad?" I asked, not really wanting to know what the first one could be.  
And could there be a good?  
"That depends, on what you think," he said, and looked me in the eyes. I really didn't understand what he was saying, and I wanted to know. He was quiet for a few seconds before he spoke again.  
"The symptoms, especially the morning sickness, makes me think that you are... pregnant, Wanda."  
My head started to spin and it was hard to understand Doc's words. ´  
I might be pregnant? I had never really though about that, never imagined myself as a mother. Did I want this? What would Ian think?  
My thoughts went back to a conversation Ian and I had a few months ago...

- flashback –

_Ian and I was sitting in our room, opposite to each other and holding hands.  
__We were talking about a little bit of everything when somehow the subject had come up.  
_"_I guess... Before this life, I guess you could say I was always more mature then the rest of the men in my age. When Kyle couldn't think longer than proposing to Jodi, the love of his life, I was ahead of him. I didn't have my 'someone special', but yet I though about meeting her, marrying her, and yes, I wanted kids. But I didn't meet her, and then all of this happened, and I forgot about my dreams for a couple of years. And now, when I have my 'someone special? When I'm married to her? I've been thinking about those dreams again. And someday, in the future, I would love to have kids running around. I just don't know if I want them to be born into this world," he sighted after he stopped talking, and if possible, I loved him even more after hearing this. How was it possible to love someone who you already love with your heart and soul more every day?  
__I climbed up into his lap, so that I was straddling him, and locked my arms around his neck, holding his hair in my fingers. Playing with it.  
_"_You know, before I came here, I never once thought about motherhood. I just couldn't see myself doing that, sacrifying myself to be a Mother. I was too afraid of the pain. And the pain is the biggest reason why most of us don't do it. But here on Earth? Doing it the human way?"  
_"_You _are _human," he interupped me, but I continued as if he hadn't said anything.  
_"_I've been thinking about that more and more, and someday I would love doing that. Having a baby... with you." _

- end flashback -

I was pulled back to reality when I heard Ian's voice from behind me.  
"Lunch almost over, so I thought I'd..." I turned around and saw Ian coming toward us with food in his hands. He stopped talking when he saw  
me. How did I look like? I had no idea.  
"Wanda...?" he asked me, hesitant, and I turned back to look at Doc.  
I jumped down from the cot as I spoke to him.  
"We'll be back tomorrow. If someone asks, just think of something," I saw Doc nodding, and then I took the food in Ian's hands and gave it to Doc. I took Ian's hand, and walked with long strides from the hospital toward the exit.  
He didn't speak until we were outside, and I didn't know what to answer him.  
"What's going on, Wanda?"  
"I'm going to tell you, just let me think this through first, okay?"  
I could see him nodding, but I also saw worry in his eyes. And that worry killed me. I didn't want him to worry. And this was something he shouldn't worry about.  
On the way to the van, I had time to think about the situation and I came to an conclusion.  
If I was pregnant, I wanted to have the baby.  
I could see myself loving it, taking care of it. I wanted to watch it grow up, even if it was in the caves.  
I couldn't ignore it, just because we lived in caves. Freedom was doing just fine.  
And if someday we would get out of there, our child would be able to live in the big world.  
Because we would teach him or she about it.  
But at the same time, this wasn't just about me. What did Ian want? What would he think of this?  
I stopped us right beside the van, before we climbed into it.  
I took his other hand in mine, and turned to look at him. Again I saw the worry in his eyes.  
"I've been feeling... weird for the last week, and Doc examined me today. He have two theories, and he want me to see a Healer for both of them. Nothing to worry about, so don't."  
I took a breath before I continued speaking.  
"He didn't really tell me about the first one, because he don't think that's it."  
"And the second theory?" His voice sounded calm to the untrained ear, but I heard a weak tone of panic and worry in it.  
God, how I wanted to erase that.  
"Do you remember what we talked about a couple of months ago? About me, you - us as... as parents?"  
It didn't even take a second for him to understand what I was talking about.  
"You're pregnant?"  
"I don't know. But if I am, would... would you be okay with it?" I needed to make sure he would, and the best way to know was to ask.  
He pulled me into a hug, and kissed the top of my head before he answered.  
"Of course I would be okay with it, Wanda. I would be more than okay with it."  
I sighted against Ian's chest, and let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding.  
"I really needed to hear that," I said, and he pulled me out of the hug, looking me in the eyes.  
The worry was gone, replaced with happiness.  
"I love you so much," he whispered and then he kissed me.  
It was a wonderful feeling, knowing that I might be pregnant and that Ian was okay with it.  
More than okay with it.

---

I wanted us to be alone, so I checked into a hotel for the night.  
It felt like we hadn't been alone for so long. There was always a chance that someone would knock on the door back in the caves, and here that wasn't possible. And I felt like maybe we would have a lot to talk about when I got back from the Healer.  
And I also checked into a hotel because I knew Ian would be safe there.  
So I followed him into the room and told him I'll be back as soon as I could, and that he should stay there. I really wanted him with me, but that wasn't possible. And if I couldn't have him with me, I wanted him in the safest place. And right now, that place was that hotelroom.  
So thats where I left him, right after I gave him a small, gentle kiss on his lips.

The ride to the hospital was about ten minutes, but it felt like only seconds later I was there, asking the receptionist about seeing a Healer.  
"Hello, is there anything I can help you with?" the woman behind the desk asked me.  
"Yes, I would like to see a Healer." I wasn't sure, but my voice sounded shaky.  
"What is the problem?" she asked me, right before she called on a Healer.  
"I think I might be pregnant," I said, and I was surprised with how much happiness that brought me.  
I wasn't even sure, and I wanted it so much already. This was crazy.  
She called the Healer, explaining that I might be pregnant, and then a minute later a Healer was infront of me. It was the same Healer I had met when Jared and I had tried to save Jamie.  
Why was it that I always met souls I had already met? But I wasn't worried this time.  
She had only met me once, and then I was in Mel's body.  
She intruduced herself, and led me into another room.  
It was small, and had a cot in the middle of the room. There wasn't much space, but it was build in a way that it seemed to be bigger.  
She asked me some questions that I answered. It was the same one Doc had asked, so I knew what to answer without really having to think about it. Then she took some tests, and left me for about five minutes.  
But it wasn't her that came back. This time it was a young male. From the second he walked inside I knew I didn't like him. It was just something about him that screamed 'jerk', as Mel would of said.  
"Hello, your Healer was send away to an emergency call, and I'm taking after her," he started, and then took a seat. He didn't even indroduce himself before he started talking again.  
"You are seven weeks pregnant," he said after saying some other things, and then he babbled on about something else.  
"There are some alternatives, since you are so early on with the pregnancy...-" he started, but I had to interuppt him. Did he honestly think that I didn't want the child? There was alternatives? I didn't even want to hear about them.  
"I'm keeping the baby," I said, determinated.  
He looked up from his papers, chock in his eyes.  
"You're keeping the baby?"  
"Yes, I am."  
He was quiet for a second before he talked again.  
"I just assumed..." his words were apologetic, but his voice was rude.  
"I know what you assumed," I interuppted him again. I really didn't like him.  
He assumed that I'm young, too young to have a baby. And that since I'm a soul I wouldn't want it. I wanted to tell him something, even though I wouldn't. Yes, maybe the souls came here to Earth to learn. But we've taken lives, lives the souls don't want to live again. The souls want the planet to die with the human race. So he didn't want me to have this baby, because that gives this planet one more human to feed. I wanted to scream all of that into his face, but I didn't.  
I realized then that maybe Ian was right after all, because in that moment I _felt_ human.  
I considered the humans to be my race, I wanted to fight for them.  
"I'm going to have this baby, and both me and my husband are going to love with with all of our hearts and souls," I said, knowing both of us would, and with that I left him alone, leaving the hospital.  
Apart from the good news, that guy had really ruined my entire day.  
He made it impossible for me to think about the baby that was growing inside me, impossible to see my happiness since it was clouded with less happy feelings for him. How could someone ruin my day like that? I didn't even know his name.

I unlocked the door and walked inside the empty hotel room, locking the door behind me.  
But I wasn't worried about that the room was empty since I heard that the shower was on.  
It would be really nice to take a shower, but that was something I could do later.  
So I sat down indian style on the bed, and turned on the TV.  
I flipped through a couple of channels, but there was nothing to look at so I turned it off again just as I heard the water stopped running.  
The door opened a few minutes later, and Ian walked out with only a pair of jeans on him.  
His hair was damp with the water, and messy. All I wanted was to run my fingers through it.  
But as I saw Ian my ruined day turned back to normal, and for the first time I realized we were going to be parents in nine months. My day was suddenly perfect.  
I was overwhelmed with joy, and I smiled as Ian looked at me.  
But I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. What words should I use to tell my husband that he was going to be a father?  
Ian didn't say anything either, as he sat himself on the bed opposite to me.  
He took my hand in his, and met my eyes before he talked.  
"What did they say?" His voice was calm, but somewhere I heard something that didn't belong.  
I would of expected him to be worried, and I heard worry, too.  
But I also heard joy, deep down in his voice. Almost like he was trying to hide it from himself.  
I moved my hands to his neck, tracing my fingers on it, as I wondered about what I should say.  
I decided to just spit it out, as I felt my eyes tearing up. I smiled before I talked.  
"I'm seven weeks pregnant. You're going to be a father," my voice was only a whisper, and I barely had the time to finish talking before he pressed me closer against him, attacking my lips with his.  
I locked my arms around his neck, and smiled even more into the kiss.  
I knew I was right. We would both love this child with both our hearts and souls.  
"You have no idea of how much I love you, Wanda. And you're going to be a wonderful mother."  
Something inside me melted when he said that. I hadn't even had the chance to worry about me being a bad mother, and he had already erased  
that feeling.  
"You really think so?"  
"Are you kidding me? You're the best, kindest, most unselfish person I know. And this baby will be so loved from you, and me. And you're going to be a natrual at motherhood."  
I looked into his eyes, and saw nothing but the truth in them.  
I kissed him again, and then he laid us down on the bed, side by side. Face to face, so close that our noses almost touched. His arm around my  
waist pulled me closer, held me tight.  
I ran my fingers through his hair, as we looked at each other, both of us smiling.  
I was already planning on telling Mel, but a part of me told me I shouldn't do that right now.  
That I should wait. And I listened.  
"I think... I think maybe we should wait with telling people. You know, until the 'safe time' has passed," I mumbled, not even sure when the 'safe time' had passed.  
"Yeah, maybe you're right. So, when does that time pass, anyway?" he asked, and I chuckled.  
"I have no idea. I kinda didn't stick around to ask any questions, good thing we have Doc."  
"Why?"'  
"There was this jerk, who was my 'Healer'. Didn't even introduce himself, just told me I was pregnant and that there was alternatives I could think about. So I said I would keep the baby, and I left."  
"I'm sorry," he murmured and I smiled again.  
"It's okay. As soon as I saw you, I was okay. Because you always make me feel better," I answered him, and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

* * *

**So, as always, let me know what you think ^^**


	16. Chapter 16

"Maybe we should hide you," Ian joked as we entered the caves again.  
I was jumpy, like I always was when I was exited. The fact that I was pregnant had really sinken in on me over the night, as Ian and I had talked. Neither of us had barely slept, talking the entire night and most of the morning.  
I could see that Ian was just as happy as I was over this pregnancy, only he was better at hiding it.  
I knew Ian was only half joking when he said we should hide me. Everyone would notice my sudden happiness, and it would be for the best if I  
was invisible for a few days.  
"Oh, shh, let's just find Doc," I answered him as we sneaked down the corridors.  
We had agreed on seeing Doc first. He should know, I bet he was worried, too, and we needed to know what he had told everyone about me and Ian dissapearing.  
We were lucky, and we didn't see anyone as we walked. But it was still pretty early, it was right before lunch, and everyone was working.  
We saw Doc at the same time, the moment we walked inside. He was sitting at his desk, his head against it. Soft snorings were coming from him.  
"Should we wake him?" I asked, quietly. I didn't like waking anyone up, and he looked so tired, but at the same time we needed to talk to him.  
"Doc?" Ian said loudly, and Doc jolted up. He can't of been in deep sleep.  
"Wanda? Ian? You're back? What did they say?" he looked and sounded very confused.  
How long had he been asleep? It can't of been for a long time.  
"Doc? Did you sleep tonight?"  
"No, not really. So, what did they say?" I was concerned about him. Why hadn't he been sleeping?  
But at the same time I was dying to tell him.  
"Seven weeks," I said, and Doc's face turned into a big grin.  
"Congratulations, I'm happy for you," he said, hugging me.  
"Thank you, Doc."  
"So, what did you tell 'em?" Ian asked, and Doc understood immidatly.  
"I told everyone that you said you'd be back today, and that I knew where you were, only I couldn't tell anyone. It wasn't really mine to tell. I didn't know what to say, and honestly I didn't know if the news would be good or bad."  
"We should keep as much to the truth as possible, then. Speaking of... Doc, do you know when the 'safe time' has passed?" Ian asked him, and I was glad he had. Honestly, I had forgotten about that question.  
"In the pregnancy? If I remember correctly, I think it's around thirteen weeks. Are you planning on waiting to tell everyone?"  
"Yes, so this is only between the three of us until week thirteen."  
Doc nodded at my words, but looked a little distant.  
"Doc, tell me. Why didn't you sleep tonight?"  
He sighted, and sat down again, this time on a cot, as Ian snaked his arms around my waist.  
"Sharon and I had another fight. She thought I knew more about this and she started to argue with me when I said I really didn't. I don't blame her for kicking me out. I guess I've been difficult these days, but that doesn't change that I stand up for the things I believe in. That's just something I have to do. And sometimes she doesn't seem to understand that. Although we have our arguments, I still love her. I just wish she could see that," he murmured the last part more to himself than anyone else.  
I felt sorry for him, and I wished that Sharon could change for him. Sometimes she didn't seem to understand what a great man he was. He  
deserved better. He deserved the old Sharon. The one Mel knew before all of this happened. Before the souls invaded their planet.  
A little part of me felt like this was my fault, but I tried to shake that feeling away.  
I snaked out of Ian's embrace, and hugged Doc.  
"I'm sorry, Doc."  
"Don't be. And to be truthful, I would have slept if I wasn't worried about you."  
Yes, he definatly deserved someone better.  
"Don't be. And now we are back, so sleep. And I'm sorry we woke you up."  
"No, I'm glad you did. And I wasn't really sleeping. Now I know, so I'm not worried anymore."  
"Thank you."  
"For what?"  
"For helping me yesterday, for being such a good friend. For everything."  
"That's not a very hard thing to be for someone like you. And I would help you both anyday."  
"Thank you. But I guess we been gone long enough," Ian said, and I left Doc's side to take Ian's hand, preparing myself to see everyone else.  
"I'm coming with you. Should probably get something to eat," Doc said, and together we left for the kitchen. We walked slowly, talking the entire time. Ian and I told him about our thoughts about beeing parents, and Doc said that we both would do a wonderful job raising our unborn child.  
It was weird, but in a way I already loved the little boy or girl growing inside me.  
I had only known about she or he for a day, but I already longed for the day I could hold my baby in my arms. Show it my love.  
It was really an amazing feeling, something that was one of a kind, knowing that a child was growing inside me. Growing and getting ready for this world. I just hoped the world would be a better place when she or he grew up. Ian's words showed themselves in my thoughts; _I just don't know if I want them to be born into this world.  
_Jared had said almost the same thing to Mel, and I couldn't ignore those words. They meant to much.  
Yes, our baby wouldn't grow up in the best of worlds, but our baby would be loved, and taken cared of, and we would teach him or she about the world outside these caves. It didn't mean this baby shouldn't be born just because this wasn't the best world to be born into.

I heard Mel's voice as we was close to the kitchen, and the need and want to tell her grew inside me.  
I didn't know if I could be quiet about this for six weeks, and I would probably slip if Ian let me talk right now. But I had both Ian and Doc to help me, to stop me from saying somehing I shouldn't.  
"Hide me," I whispered to Ian, and this time he chuckled, although I was completly serious.  
"Come on, just let me do all the talking," he said, and led me inside the kitchen.  
You would of heard a needle hit the floor when we walked inside, since the kitchen was so quiet.  
I saw Mel and I just wanted to scream it out to her, but I tried to compose myself, and didn't let myself look at her for very long. I saw Jamie, he looked relived. So had Mel. Had they really been that worried? I guess we did just leave without saying something. We could have done it better.  
There was more relived faces on our friends, but most of them kept their poker face on.  
One of them was Jeb. We really should of told him we would leave.  
"Where the hell have you been!? You scared the hell out of me!" Mel almost screamed as she stopped only an inch away from me. She was glaring at me, looked mad. I squeezed Ian's hand for help, I didn't know what to say.  
"Sorry for just leaving yesterday..." he started, and Jared interuppted him.  
"You better have a good excuse." Everyone looked at us, as Ian tried his best to explain.  
"We do. Wanda needed to see a Healer. It was urgent."  
"Why didn't she just go to Doc?" Kyle asked, and Doc decided to answer this for us.  
I just hoped this wouldn't get him in more trouble with Sharon.  
"She did. And I didn't know what it was, so I wanted her to see a Healer. Immidiatly."  
I wondered for a quick second if Doc had followed us just to help us out if we needed it. Could that be it? Knowing Doc, yes it could.  
It was quiet for a second before Jamie and Mel reacted at the same time. Mel's anger running away with her worry for me.  
"Are you okay?" Jamie asked, as he and Mel hugged me. Their worry was there in their actions, and it moved me.  
"There is nothing wrong with me. I promise," I said to them as I hugged them back.  
"So you're healthy?" Jamie asked, and I thanked him for asking the right questions.  
If he would of asked something else, I might have slipped.  
"I'm healthy as a horse," I said, and Jamie hugged me again.  
Mel looked at both me and Ian, back and forward.  
"Why do you two look so happy?"  
That was the wrong question, and I shut my mouth.  
It took a second for Ian to answer.  
"We're just happy there is nothing wrong with her."  
Mel looked at him for a second, and then at me for a few more.  
Would she fall for the lie? Would she believe us? I wanted to tell her the truth so much, but this was for the best.  
"Should I believe that?"  
"Yes, you should."  
I tuned out their conversation, looking at Jeb. The more I looked at him, the more I thought that maybe, just maybe, we should tell him, too.  
I knew he could keep a secret, and he could help us keeping this one hidden for a few weeks.  
Without saying a word, I lead Ian outside the kitchen, stopping only a few metres away from the entrance. We wouldn't be gone long, and this was something we could whisper about.  
"I think... maybe we should tell Jeb."  
"You sure?"  
"Yeah. There are still people in there who don't believe us, Mel included, and I think he could help us keeping this a secret for a few weeks. What do you think?"  
"I think you're right. And he should know, this is his house," Ian quoted Jeb, and I chuckled.  
"Do you mind if I do it alone? You are a better liar, and they would believe you more."  
He nodded and placed a small kiss on my lips, and then we walked back into the kitchen.

There was more talking now, and they didn't stop when we entered this time.  
It was just Mel who looked at us. I really hoped she would drop this soon.  
Maybe I could tell her, too? What's the difference between four or five people knowing?  
I stopped my own thought there. Jeb would do. I would tell Mel later, like that small part of me said.  
I would listen to that part. It was the part that was usually right.  
"Jeb?" I said, and he looked at me without saying or doing something. I would have to say the words.  
"Can I talk to you?" I said, and pointed toward the entrance.  
He followed me when I started to walk, and I shot one glance at Ian and then Mel.  
Ian saw it, and gave the slightest nod to me. I trusted him to make her forget this to when I came back. Because if she asked me when I was alone, I would slip. Or tell her right away.  
I walked to a place where I knew no one would be for a while. Where we would be alone.  
I walked to the game room, and Jeb followed.  
When I stopped, so did he.  
"Mind tellin' me the truth 'bout yesterday?"  
"We told the truth about yesterday. The only lie was when Ian said to Mel why we were happy."  
I took a deep breath before I continued, and Jeb waited patiently.  
"I won't tell you this if you don't promise you won't tell anyone."  
"I'll promise," he said and I continued.  
"Doc had two theories yesterday. The first one was really bad, and the second one... Let's just say he wanted me to see a Healer for both. And I'm sorry we didn't say anything, but I just really wanted to know what the answer would be."  
"And it was?" Jeb said, since I had taken a short pause to think of what words I would use.  
Again I took a deep breath, and bit my lower lip. And then I just said it.  
"I'm pregnant."  
Jeb had the poker face on, and it was impossible to know what he thought.  
That was until the poker face left his face, and turned into a smile. I relaxed at the same second.  
"I guess I should tell you congratulation then," he said, and his smile grew wider.  
"Thank you. So, are you really okay with us leaving like that yesterday?"  
"You should of told me, but I can understand why you were in a rush. So yes, I'm okay with it. May I ask you something? If it's not to personal."  
What could he ask me that was personal? Hadn't I always answered all his question, even if they were personal? What made him doubt me now?  
"Of course. What do you want to know?"  
"You said I shouldn't tell anyone. Why is that?"  
It was just that? That wasn't even personal.  
"That's not personal, not at all. We just don't feel like telling anyone until week thirteen. So we will start telling people in about six weeks."  
"I understand," he mumbled, and then he continued.  
"And I know that wasn't personal. But this might be. I know you helped everyone getting contraceptive, and I just assumed you used it, too."  
He was right, that one was more personal. But he was right. We had been using it.  
But my pills ended a few months ago, so we had been using condoms. And those are not always one hundred percent safe.  
"Forgive me for being so curious, and of course you don't have to answer that question," Jeb said, taking my silence the wrong way. But in a way maybe it was a good thing that he dropped the subject. We stood quiet for a few more seconds before I decided to change that. I didn't feel like going back to the kitchen, to Mel, but I didn't feel like standing in the dark game room either.  
"Maybe we should head back," I said, and we both started walking at the same time.  
We talked about things that had nothing to do with the pregnancy.  
Maybe because people might hear us, maybe because he had no questions.  
Or maybe it was just because he wanted to prove his point. He wouldn't tell anyone.  
We saw more people in the corridors, and we said 'hello' to everyone.  
When we was back in the kitchen it was less people in there, and Ian had actually found himself a spot at one of the tables. Of course it was the table where Mel, Jamie and Jared sat.  
Mel and Jared was sitting next to each other, with Jamie next to Ian.  
There wasn't anymore space at the table, so I took my seat in Ian's lap.  
"How did it go?" he whispered quietly in my ear as he placed his hands on my stomach.  
I don't think it was voluntary, it was more like an automatic thing, and I liked his hands there, so I placed mine above his, and leaned closer against his chest.  
"Good," I answered him, smiling, and I glanced over at Jeb at the same time. He was standing next to Doc, both looking at me and Ian, the four hands on my stomach. And they both smiled at the same time. Mel was looking at us, too, and noticed the hands on my stomach. But she didn't smile. Because she didnt understand. To someone who didn't know, the hands would just be there because I was sitting in his lap. They were there to hold me still. Just like Jared would hold his there if she was sitting in his lap. But this meant something else, and I longed for these six weeks to pass.  
I wanted to tell her this good news. I wanted to tell her she was going to be an aunt.  
Because in so many ways she would. Maybe we wasn't relatated by blood, but in so many different ways we were related to each other. We had shared a mind for so long, and we knew each other like we knew ourselves. If not better.  
And I was doing the right thing, listening to myself, and not telling her, didn't I?  
I had to belive I did. Or else I wouldn't.  
"Wanda?" I heard someone's distant voice calling my name and I looked up.  
Jamie and Mel was both looking at me, and then I realized it was Jamie's voice I had heard.  
"Where were you, outer space?" Mel laughted, and I smiled.  
"I guess you can say that."  
"What were you thinking about? Something big I guess..." Jamie mumbled, looking me in the eyes.  
"Nothing really," I hurried to say, and then changed the subject.  
"So, what did you want?"  
"Aren't you going to eat something?"  
I realized then I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, if you can call it that.  
Ian and I had ordered some food about five am this morning, so I should be hungry.  
But I didn't feel any hunger, although it was at least seven hours since five.  
"Yes, I am going to eat," I said and left the warmth and saftey of Ian's arms, to go get something to eat. Ian followed, and wrapped one of this arms around my waist, pulling my ear close to his mouth.  
"So, were you thinking what I think you were thinking?" he asked, and I laughed at his question.  
"I don't know what you're talking about," I answered him. But I did know, even though his question was a little bit confusing.  
"You know what I'm talking about. You know I'm talking about this..." he said, and his other hand came over my stomach, and he wrapped his other arms around my waist, turning me so that I was facing him. I understood the movement, although if anyone had heard us I doubt they would understand that the real movement was when his hand had lingered for a short second on my now very flat stomach. Feeling his hand there made me think, and long, for the moments where Ian's hand would be there, on a bigger, rounder stomach, and together we would feel the baby kicking, moving.  
"Maybe," I answered his first question, smiling, and for a second I could feel more eyes on us.  
So I turned facing the food again, thinking about what I wanted.  
Now when I was looking at the food, smelling it, I felt my hunger kick in, and I grabbed enough food for me, and then Ian took for him. Together we walked to sit at the table again, and since Jared had left and Jamie had taken a seat next to his sister there was room for me to sit alone. But I was sitting close to him the entire time, feeling his warmth against my skin. His free hand placed itself on my thigh, and he held it still there. I could feel the warmth of it through my jeans, and I smiled.  
I loved these little things he did. The skin contact, the other things, always making me feel like he will always be there with me.  
He gave me everything just by being there next to me.

* * *

**As always, let me know what you think. **

**The next two chapters might be a little shorter than usual, sorry for that...**


	17. Chapter 17

I stood under the warm water in the shower, in the hotel we had stayed on tonight.

We had been out on a raid for almost three weeks, and it would be good to go home tonight. Even though I loved the little things, like standing in a shower, I never really liked the raids. It wasn't comfortable, like our safe lives in the caves. And I was always worried when we weren't home in the cave systems. I'd come to love our lifes in the caves almost immidiatly, it felt safe, cosy, comfortable.

But now I stood in a shower in a hotel room, only hours away from home, and I liked it.

I loved Ian's hands on my very, _very_ small baby bump that had grew to show only a week ago. It wasn't so big that I had to worry about people seeing it, but Ian and I definatly did.

And it felt good to be able to tell Mel in a couple of weeks. It wasn't easy hiding it, but Ian and I didn't want anyone to know before we knew it was safe, so we tried our best.

What I thought, no one expected anything.

So right now I enjoyed us being the only ones who knew - exept Doc and Jeb, but I knew they wouldn't tell anyone.

Doc and Jeb treated me the same, even with their knowledge. Doc was only a little more different, he wanted to make sure I was okay all the time. Had I been drinking water? Did I have a headache? And lots of more questions were asked as soon as he was alone with me.

Ian's lips brushed my neck, making a shiver go through my spine and I leaned closer into his chest.

"Mmm," he sighted, smiling against my skin.

"I love you. Both of you," he said then and I smiled even wider.

"Well, we love you, too," I said back, as his lips touched my neck again.

"Ian, we've been in here for like almost an hour, we should get going," I said reluctant.

I knew we needed to go, we had a few stores to go to before we went home, but I really wanted to stay with Ian. Alone. I knew Mel and Jared was in the room outside the door, but we felt very alone locked inside the bathroom.

"You think?" he mumbled to me, and I nodded turning the water off.

"There's a chance will be in here for a long time if we stay another second," I laughed and he turned me around, pressing his lips against mine. I kissed him back for awhile, before I gently shoved him away.

"See? Exactly what I mean," I smiled against his lips and walked out of the shower, drying myself with one of the towels. I got dressed then, putting on a pair of jeans shorts that I had picked out yesterday and a white tank top. It was the beginning of may after all, and it was right before lunch time. The sun was in the middle of the sky, and today would be hot.

It felt good to be able to pick out new clothes every raid if we needed them, and I would if my stomach continued growing before we would tell anyone.

Ian was done when I was, wearing a gray t-shirt that he looked almost illigaly beautiful in.

Mel and Jared were both done, waiting for us, when we walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.

"We were about break down the door any second," Jared joked and Mel laughed.

"Yeah, what took you so long?" Mel asked in a teasing voice then, and I ignored her, packing the last things and then put on a pair of slip in shoes. One of my favorites to wear when we were on raids, but they were hard to wear in the caves. So I made my tennis shoes easily accessible in my bag.

I walked up to the check out alone, as the others walked right to the two cars.

We always used two cars when we were out on these long raids. We needed the space since we picked out food, water, medicines, clothes, soap, shampoo and other stuff we might need in the caves. I liked the fact I was their access to get these supplies, it felt like I had really helped them since I came to the caves. Making their lives easier. That thought made me impossibly happier.

"You're taking the van, right?" I asked Jared and Mel as I came outside, seeing them standing beside it. Ian and I had been driving the van for the last couple of days, and it was time to change.

And it was safer if they drove it. Ian and I would be driving in the front now, and if any Seekers saw us, it would be us that they stopped. Not that I wanted to risk Ian's life – I hated that -, but I could more easily lie myself out of it, just by them checking my eyes. And Ian could easily pretend to be asleep, the scar on his neck visible.

"Yeah, so will see you soon then," Jared said and then they took their seats in the van.

Ian took the driver seat without hesitation, and right now I didn't feel like driving.

I had a small ache in my stomach, but nothing I noticed if I didn't think about it. And I was tired.

So I held his hand, and relaxed into the passenger seat, trying to not fall asleep. I still had a few stores to go to, I kept telling myself and that made me not fall asleep. Ian talking to me all the time helped too, and it felt like only an hour later when we were done and ready to go home.

We had all the supplies we needed, and Mel gave me a quick hug before she took the driver seat in the van. It would be a couple of more hours until we were home, and she would probably change with Jared in an hour or two.

I could finally relax into the passenger seat, I was never completly relaxed on the raids, thinking I would take the steering wheel in a few hours. Ian had been driving all day, and I should take over. He didn't say anything as he drove, probably noticing I was tired, and it didn't take long for me to drift off to sleep.

-

I didn't sleep long, though, maybe an hour, before I woke up again from a twisting pain in my stomach. It felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife, and I couldn't think straight.

All I knew was that I was in pain, and Ian was alerted as soon as I let out a whimper twisted with pain. He squeezed my hand tighter, and I wrapped my free hand around my stomach, trying to breathe right.

"Wanda? Wanda, what happened?" Ian's voice was worried, and it pained me more.

I didn't want him to worry so much about me.

"My stomach... it hurts," I managed to say, but it was only a whisper.

"Oh god, I'm taking you to a Healer," his voice was even more worried now, as he looked at me.

"Ian, please, the-the ba-baby" I tried to tell him, but I wasn't sure my words managed to come out.

My stomach hurt so much, there had to be something really wrong with me. And all I could think about was the baby. _Our baby_. All I wanted was that everything would be okay with our baby. Because with the pain I was feeling right now, things couldn't be alright.

I heard the car accelerating, and it felt like it was years later with pain that Ian stopped the car.

He cradeled me in his arms, starting to walk, but I could think enough to know he shouldn't come with me. I _wanted_ him with me, but I couldn't risk his life. It was a hospital, full of souls who would notice him being human. I couldn't risk his life like that. I wouldn't.

"Ian, no. You're staying," I said, and I could barely hear myself. But his steps stopped.

"Wanderer, I'm coming with you," he argued, using my full name. He only did that when he was serious about something.

"Ian, no. It's not safe," I argued back.

"Wanda, I don't care about that. I care about _you,_ and you're in pain. I'm coming with you."

I understood him. I wouldn't care about if it was safe or not if he was in pain. I would do anything to help him. But I couldn't let him come with me.

"Ian, let me down. I'm doing this alone. I'll be fine, please Ian," I said and he looked down into my eyes. His blue eyes were clouded with worry and pain. I didn't want him to feel pain.

He closed them, and leaned his forehead against mine. His sight let me know that he was going to give in.

"Just... I love you," he said and then gently put me to my feet.

_I love you, too, so much,_ I though as I stumbled away toward the entrance.

There was a Healer outside, who saw me and hurried up to me.

As he came close enough I saw that the Healer was Fords deep Water. Of course.

He recognized me, too.

"Petals Open to the Moon, is that you?"

"Please, I'm pregnant and I'm in pain," I said weakly and he took me in his arms, carrying me inside.

His arms were strong, but nothing like Ian's. I already longed for Ian's safe arms around me.

The others in the hospital seemed alarmed as they saw us, and one of them followed us.

Fords laid me down on a cot, and searched in the room for something.

"Okay, I'm going to give you some No Pain so that you won't feel any pain," he said in a gentle voice, and a few seconds later I felt the pain drifting away.

"You said you are pregnant?" he asked as he started to examine me. I nodded at him.

"How long?"

"Eleven weeks," I said, and this time it was his turn to nod.

"Okay, so I'm going to run a few tests, and then hopefully we'll know what's wrong with you," he said then and started to examine me more. I didn't notice his hands on me, taking tests, as I thought about the baby and Ian. I was so happy right now. Was I being punished for being to happy?

I felt empty, and I had since the first second I felt the pain. Only an hour earlier my life had been filled with love and happiness, and now I felt empty. I just knew that there was something wrong with the baby.

"Where is your fianceé?" Fords asked calmly then, pulling me back to now.

"Husband-," I corrected him,-"and he's working," I lied. He didn't notice. Maybe it was because of my thick thoath that could barely manage to say the words out loud. Or maybe it was because he didn't know me.

"Do you want someone to call him?"

"No, I don't want him to worry about me," I said, knowing he already was worried.

"I'll be right back," he said then and disappeared out of the room, leaving me alone.

But he was back only a minute later, and I was alarmed by the look on his face.

He looked sad, and I knew I was right. Something was wrong. _Really wrong._

"I am so sorry to tell you this, Petals Open to the Moon, but you lost your baby."

The tears started running, but I didn't feel them. All I could feel was more emptiness.

Fords looked pained from my tears. Like he didn't like them being there.

Again it struck to me that he was alot like Doc.

I felt more empty than ever. I had never felt so alone. My baby was gone. I would never hold my baby in my arms, never see my baby grow up. _Never see my baby_. Gone. Forever.

"Why?" I choked out, sobbing.

"From the test, all I can see was that it had a disease. It couldn't grow. It stopped growing a few weeks back, stopped living at the same time."

"I don't understand, I've been showing for a week. I've been growing, there has to be something wrong with the..." I started but Fords interuppted me.

"You've been growing because your body still thinks your pregnant. Today, when you had the miscarriage, was when the body realized the baby wasn't alive so it started repelling it."

I tried to understand his words, but I couldn't. I couldn't think.

Fords reached out and gave me a hug, I was surprised since he didn't know me, but he is a soul. Kind to everyone. And I tried to be comforted, but this arms were all wrong. The smell was all wrong. The warmth was all wrong. I didn't feel safe in them. I didn't know them.

I longed for Ian, wanted to see him. I wanted him to hold me, comfort me.

Fords let go of me, and told me some other stuff I really did tried to listen to. Tried to think of something else for awhile. But it didn't really work. The loss of my baby was always in the back of my mind.

Fords told me I would bleed for a few days, it could hurt, but all of that was good. The body releasing the baby. The body's way of letting go, and it was normal.

I couldn't have sex for a few weeks, I shouldn't try to get pregnant for at least a few months.  
I wasn't allowed to do any hard work for awhile, and let my body heal itself.  
I couldn't listen to more, I had to get out of there.

"I'm sorry, but I think I need to go," I said, and Fords understood.

"Again, I'm sorry. And take this No Pain if you feel any pain at all, and if there is _anything,_ please come back," he said, and gave me one more small hug. I didn't feel it, longed for the arms outside this hospital. The arms I would be in soon.

I put the No Pain in my pocket, and walked out. I tried to compose myself on the way.

Tried to not cry. I didn't want to. I should be strong. I wanted to be just that. Strong. But how could I?

-

I stopped right before I would round the corner, and took a deep breath.

I heard voices, Jared and Ian, and I walked around the corner to see them.

Jared was the one facing me, and he was glaring at Ian, who was probably glaring back.

"You're staying right here," Jared said calmy. Good, Ian shouldn't go looking for me.

"Jared, let me go," Ian said, his voice high and twisted with pain and worry.

The tears leaked over again as I heard his voice, and a few seconds later he turned around and saw me. Understanding was the first thing I saw on his face, in his eyes, and then the understanding was replaced with pain. That pain made the tears that had almost stopped running leak over all over again. And this time I knew I had no chance against them.

He started to walk up to me, fast and long paces, and I longed even more to be in his arms.

But my knees gave in, and Ian catched me the second before I fell to the ground. His arms were securitly around me, and he leaned my weight against him. I clung to him, and my tears started to roll down his shirt instead of down on mine.

I didn't feel so lonley as soon as his arms was around me, and some of the emptiness disappeared. But it was still there, burning in my heart.

Ian lifted me up in his arms, as I clung to his chest, crying more.

"It's going to be okay, honey, I swear it will," he mumbled and I really wanted to believe his words.

But right now that moment felt very far away. It would take a long time, but as long as Ian was with me he would help me. I felt better with him. He was my own personal Heal. I felt whole when I was with him and I wasn't lonley anymore. Not at all, all I felt now was the emptiness.

I leaned my head against his shoulder, crying against it, and closed my eyes. I let it all out. All my emotions, all my tears.

"Ian? Wanda?" Jared voice asked us as Ian walked closer, but he didn't answer him.

"Open the door," was all he said, and Jared must have done just that since Ian sat down a few seconds later, leaning me against him. I didn't feel anything else then Ian's warmth against me.

"I'll take the car, see you soon," I heard Mel saying.

Mel, what would I tell her? I hadn't told her I was pregnant, because there might be a chance I would have a miscarriage. And I had that not even an hour ago.

Thinking of that made me cry more, and Ian pulled me closer. He stroked my hair, tried to comfort me. Whispered small, but important things to me. The things that would help me. He whispered that he loved me, that everything was going to be alright.  
I wanted to answer him, tell him I loved him too, but I didn't find my voice.

I knew this would be a long ride back, the hours would feel like days so I tried to fall asleep, but I couldn't. I still had so many tears to cry, and the hole in my chest was still there.

The feeling of being empty. Not alone, because I wasn't. I couldn't be alone when Ian held me like this. But emptiness I could feel. Nothing would fill that part of my heart right now.

-

Eventually Jared stopped the car, and Ian climbed out, never loosing his grip on me.

He walked with a steady pace, and I guessed he was on his way to Doc.

I didn't know how long later that I found out I was right.

"Please Doc, tell me you have some Sleep," Ian pleaded, and it broke my heart to hear the pain in his voice. I hated the fact that he was in pain. I knew he tried to be strong for me, but I didn't care. As long as he was with me, I would be okay. Strong or not, he was Ian. My husband, the man I loved.

But I was relived that Ian was asking for some Sleep. He knew I hadn't been sleeping for... how long was it now? It felt like days ago that I had slept.

And I didn't want him to see me like this, he shouldn't have to.

Someone, probably Ian, put a Sleep on my tounge and as it melted I felt myself relaxing more and more. I heard Ian sight, and then felt his soft lips against my forehead right before I fell asleep.

Leaving the pain for a few hours. Leaving the tears.

I hoped I wouldn't cry when I woke up, that I could be strong for Ian.

That the pain would disappear with the sleep.

I knew it wouldn't, but I still hoped.

* * *

**Okay, so someone asked me if I could write it double spaced. So I did just that.  
Is this way better or not? How should I write the next one?**

**The next chapter will be the same, but from Ian's POV.  
****Just to show you how he feels about all of this.  
****This two chapter is a little shorter then the rest, but I tried to come as close to 3,000 words as possible.****What do you think? Review and let me know. **


	18. Chapter 18

**As I said, this is kind of the same chapter as the last one, but from Ian's POV.  
****You also get to see what happened after Wanda fell asleep.  
****But if you don't read this one, it doesn't really matter, you will see in later chapters what happened. It's just so that all of you knows how Ian feels about all of this. **_**The baby, the miscarriage..  
**_**It's ****shorter than most of my chapters, and I don't really know why.  
****Might be because I'm so used to writing from Wanda's POV, and I felt like I didn't find the right words to put into this one.  
****So as it looks right now, this will be the only chapter from Ian's POV. **

* * *

Wanda quickly fell asleep after we had put the last things in the van that Jared and Mel drove.

I held her hand, and kept the speed limits. I knew how much she hated it when I drove fast.

I watched out over the road, watching the view, thinking about Wanda and the baby.

I had been so worried when she didn't tell me why she was going to a Healer, but when she told me why I was glad. I had always wanted to  
have children before the world was changed. Then it was, and that possibility was taken away. But then I met Wanda. My life. My soul.

I didn't care what she said, she was human. So much more then some other people.

And she had showed me a part of life I hadn't experienced before. Love. She had given me life again.

Life in the caves had been boring, all days was the same. But not anymore. One day was nothing like the other, and I got to share the days with the love of my life. My soulmate. I didn't hate the souls anymore. I guess I never had, I just hadn't had anything to blame for the loss of the life I had known. The loss of my family. But if it wasn't for that loss I had never met her. Never would have fell in love with her. I wouldn't be married to her, the woman who was pregnant with my child.

I understood that it would be difficult to raise a child in the caves, but we could do it. Wanda would be a wonderful mother. I only hoped I would be good as a father. I wanted to me like mine.

Wanda woke up with a jerk, letting out a whimper. She was in pain.

"Wanda? Wanda, what happened?" my voice was more calm than I was.

"My stomach... it hurts," she said, her voice twisted in pain.

"Oh god, I'm taking you to a Healer," I said as I understood what she said, and I squeezed her hand more.

"Ian, please, the-the ba-baby" she choked out and I put my foot on the gas, accelerating the car as much as it would go. Right now I didn't care if anyone saw us, I didn't care if Wanda didn't like it.  
I just cared about taking Wanda to a Healer. Fast.  
I held her hand in mine, wanting to hold all of her. Take the pain away.

Tears were rolling down her cheeks, down to her shirt, and her free hand was on her stomach.

As I drove I tried to convince myself there was nothing wrong with her, but at the same time a part of my brain went through all the tings that could be wrong. Although, deep in my heart, I already knew what it was and I hated it. Hated it with my life.  
Because the pain that she felt right now could only mean one thing.

I stomped my foot on the break outside the hospital, hiding the car around the corner in the shadows.

I climbed out and hurried to the passenger seat, carefully taking Wanda in my arms and started to walk. I was just about to round the corner when she stopped me.

"Ian, no. You're staying," her words where only a whisper, twisted in pain. I stopped my steps, but no way I was leaving her to go alone. I would follow her, make sure she was taken cared of.

"Wanderer, I'm coming with you," I used her full name to prove how serious I was about this.

"Ian, no. It's not safe." How could she be this selfless, even in the pain she felt right now?

If possible, my heart melted for her more, and my love for her grew.

"Wanda, I don't care about that. I care about _you,_ and you're in pain. I'm coming with you."

"Ian, let me down. I'm doing this alone," her voice was getting higher, stronger.

"I'll be fine, please Ian," she said then, looking me in the eyes. I couldn't stand what I saw.

Her eyes were already red and swollen, and her gaze was unfocosed. But determinated.

I closed my eyes, unable to look into hers, and leaned my forehead against mine.

"Just... I love you," I didn't know what else to say, and then I carefully put her to her feet.

I couldn't watch her as she walked away, her pain so obvious in her movement, so I closed my eyes again. I stood there for awhile in silence, not able to understand my own thoughts, before I heard voices behind me.

"Ian, what's wrong with her?" I had completly forgotten about Mel and Jared being in the van behind us the second Wanda was in pain. So I was surprised when I heard Mel's question.

I kept my eyes closed, not answering her question. Becase I didn't know what to say.  
I couldn't just stand still, doing nothing. I had to do something, or else I would get a nervous breakdown with all the worry that surrounded me right now. So I started to pace back and forward. No one said anything for awhile, there was just silence. And with every second with silence, with not knowing, I got more worried. Mel and Jared were discussing this, but I didn't listen.

I forced myself to think that maybe it wasn't what I thought. Wanda was okay, everything would be fine.

Who was I kidding? Not myself, that's for sure.

I don't know how long time it had taken before someone said anything to me.

Thirty minutes, fourty, an hour?

"Ian, you have blood on your hands," Jared said, and I looked down on them.

He was right. Blood, red on my hands, was showing on my right hand, and I got even more worried.

Because I was sure this wasn't my blood. The blood on my hands could only belong to Wanda.

I was getting closer to that nervous breakdown, and I could sense it around the corner.

"Oh god, I-I-I..." I started to say, but then I started walking instead.

I couldn't just ignore this, I couldn't imagine everything was fine.

I needed to make sure she was okay. Needed to see her. Hold her when she cried.

But Jared's hand was on my shoulder, stopping me. Holding me back.

"You are staying right here."

"Jared, let me go," I roared back. I didn't mean for my voice to me so harsh, but I couldn't help it.

He glared at me, and I glared back. He couldn't force me not to make sure Wanda was okay.

I would walk into that hospital, even if that meant I would have to fight him before.

He eventually let go, after several seconds, and I turned only to see her standing in the darkness.

The relif of seeing her never came, because her face was everything but happy or calm.

It was chaos, with all the emotions she must be feeling right now. I understood that I had been right, and it killed me to see her like this. Her tears leaked over at the same second I saw her, and I hurried to her. When I was almost holding her, her knees gave in and she almost fell to the ground. But I caught her the right second, and leaned her weight against me.

She clung to my shirt, her tears soaking it wet. She had no strenght in her, and I easily lifted her up in my arms. She didn't say anything, and neither did I. Trying to figure out a way to comfort her.

I needed to stay strong for her right now, but I didn't know if I could do that. But I had too at least try. So I shut my emotions out - the pain, the chaos, the sorrow - and concentrated on her.

I didn't know how, but suddenly I was in the back of the van with her in my lap, and Jared was in the front. I guessed Mel was driving the car Wanda and I had been in then. But honestly I didn't care.  
I didn't need to tell Jared to drive fast home to the caves, he should be able to understand that.

So again I concentrated on my wife, crying in my arms, and I knew there was nothing I could do to comfort her. But I tried. I held her close, stroking her hair, whispering things to her.

I knew what had happened, but I didn't know why. And I wanted to know. But I couldn't ask her.

Not now, not yet. Right now she was grieving, and so was I. I just tried not to show it, tried to show her my strong side. Because that's what she needed right now.

I heard weak questions from Jared, but I didn't answer any of them. I didn't even listen, and eventually he stopped asking them. I concentrated on Wanda's even heartbeats against my chest.

"Why?" a weak voice asked me, and I barely heard her through all the tears as she mumbled into my shirt. I didn't know what to say, because I didn't know why.

"I don't know, honey. I don't know," I mumbled back.

She started to cry more, and it broke my heart not to be able to help her.

"Shh, Wanda. Everything's going to be okay..." I kept mumbling to her, but would it? Would everything be okay? I hoped so, with all my heart.

---

It felt like days later when Jared stopped the van, thankfully right outside the entrance of the cave.

I didn't know how much the time was, only that the sun was beginning to set.

Without letting Wanda go, I climbed out of the car, and my legs were moving automaticly in the darkness of the corridors. I heard footsteps behind me, but I didn't care about anything else then Wanda. I met Jeb on the way, and he seemed to understand without asking any questions. Hopefully he would keep people away.

I barely knew where I was going, but my legs stopped me in the hospital wing.

I was thankful again that I found Doc in there, and that he should understand without me saying the words. Because I didn't know if I would be able to say them out loud. I didn't want to, maybe this reality would be more true if I did. And right now all I hoped for was that this was a really bad dream, and that I would wake up soon. Real soon. But I didn't wake up, and this was the reality. This was really happening. I fighted my tears, and won over them.

"Please Doc, tell me you have some Sleep," my voice was pleading and he reacted the second he heard it. He looked up and saw me with Wanda crying in my arms, and got up to find some Sleep.

I sat us on one of the cots, and I cradeled Wanda closer.

Doc came over with the Sleep, and I put one on her tounge.

Right now, she really needed to sleep. She hadn't been sleeping for a long time, and I didn't want her to feel like this right now. She needed some energy, she was so weak from all the crying.

And to be honest, I couldn't watch her like this. It was selfish, but I couldn't stand it. I needed her to sleep, and I needed to pull myself together. So that I could be strong for her.

I could feel her relaxing into my side, and I sighted and kissed her on the forehead.

I relaxed with her, and I felt tirednees creeping onto me, too.

Her tears stopped as she fell asleep, and I smiled a weak smile. She didn't feel any pain right now.

But of course she would when she woke up in the morning. That thought made my weak smile fade away.

"I'm so sorry, Ian," Doc said after awhile.

"Belive me, Doc, me too. I guess I'll see you later," I answered him and carefully got up from the cot, not wanting to wake her up and cause her more pain.

Now was the first time I noticed that Mel and Jared was in the room, and Jared blocked the exit.

"Jared, please," I said and looked at him.

"Tell us what's wrong with her first," he answered me, and I saw that Mel had tears in her eyes.

It wasn't just Wanda and I who suffered from this, but we were the one who suffered the most.

Mel didn't even know, and she suffered. She was a really good person.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that," I said, truthfully. I couldn't find the words to say it, and I didn't know how. And it was Wanda who should tell them if she wanted to. I didn't know if she wanted anyone to know, and to be honest, I didn't know either. I figured she would tell Mel, but that was her right to do. To decide. Not mine.

"We have a right to know."

"I'm sorry, Jared, Mel. But it's not my decision to tell you or not."

"Doc? You know what this is about, tell us," Jared said, still blocking the exit. I could easily get out, but I had no energy to fight about that right now.

"Ian is right, and I can't tell you. Yes, I know what this is about, I was the first one Wanda came to, and then she told Ian what I though about it, and together they went to a Healer. But Ian and Wanda are the one's who should tell you if they want to. And I'm sure they will, as soon as Wanda is okay again." It was very quiet after Doc had spoken and Jared was about to move when Mel spoke.

"Ian, I'm sorry. I have no idea what this is about, but I am. I _really_ am. And I really hope Wanda will be okay. But even if she is, do you think she will be able to tell us? This seems to hurt her so much, and I don't know if she can talk about it with any one but you, because you're going through what she is. Please, just tell me. I need to know, too," she pleaded and I looked down at Wanda – her swollen eyes, the almost dried tears on her cheeks – and knew that Mel was right about some things. Maybe Wanda wouldn't be able to tell anyone about this. Not for at least a few days. Maybe weeks. And under that time people would worry about her.

Should I tell them? They, along with Doc and Jeb, could calm Jamie. Even though they didn't tell anyone, they could calm the people who would be worried about her. Because I knew people would be. How could they not worry about her?

And then, if Wanda didn't want to talk about it, at least four people would know why.

Although, I doubted that - Wanda would eventually talk to Mel. I knew that as soon as she was healed enough, as soon as she was ready to talk about it, she would.

I didn't tear my eyes of Wanda when I spoke, answered their questions.

"She just had a miscarriage," my voice was only a whisper, and it was even more difficult to word it then I could have imagined.

I'd only known for a few weeks that I would be a father, but I'd already come to love the child that was now gone. It was chaos inside me, and I couldn't even picure how Wanda felt.

Then, somehow, Mel's arms were around both me and Wanda.

"I'm so sorry, Ian. I wish I would of known..."

"We didn't tell you because this might happen," I mumbled back as Mel let go.

"How far...?" her voice broke and she trailed off, stopped talking.

"Eleven weeks, but please... just leave us alone for a few days. And we would appriciate it if you didn't tell anyone," I said and glanced up at Mel. She had a few tears in her eyes.

"No, of course not. Sorry Ian, and I'll see you later," Jared said and then I walked away.

I met a few people on the way to our room, and they all looked worriedly at both of us.

The chaos on the inside must be written on my face, then.

I managed to open the door without putting her down, but it was difficult and it took a minute or so.

I gently laid her on the bed, and then closed the door. I took of my tear soaked shirt, and then removed her tank top and her bloody shorts. I found a jar of No Pain in the pocket, and figured the Healer had given it to her, and was thankful. She wouldn't be in any pain when she woke up.

My hands were still red with dried blood, but I didn't want to leave her side to wash them.

So instead I layed down beside her and scooped her up in my arms, holding her tight near my body.

I wanted her to know that I was here, in case I was asleep when she woke up. That I would always be here, right next to her side. Always love her, always hold her. As long as she wanted me to, I would be there next to her.

* * *

**So, what do you think? Please review and let me know. **


	19. Chapter 19

**Okay, just wanted to let you know I made two small changes in chapter 15 and 17.  
I changed summer into spring, and so this takes place in May.**

I did this so that the time will be better in next chapters, and it wouldn't really work out otherwise with what I have planned.

So, Wanda and Ian got married in January.  
Wanda got pregnant in March, and had the miscarriage in May.

* * *

When I woke up I was well rested, and I felt no hint of tiredness around me.

I didn't know how long I had been asleep, but it felt like days.

I had a small ache in my stomach, but since Healer Fords Deep Water said that was normal I didn't worry about it. I still felt empty, but there was a slight change from the last time I had been awake.

I barely noticed it, but it was there, and that made be believe I would feel better.

That I wouldn't feel so hollow for long. Other than that, I felt the same.

I felt like crying, but I had no tears left inside me so I tried to concentrate on the other things that I felt. I didn't open my eyes, but they felt slightly swollen from all the tears. They were probably still red, too.

It was very warm, but I welcomed it. Ian's body was pressed against mine under the covers, and his arms were tight around my waist, not loose like they always were when he was asleep.

Was he awake then? I crept closer against him, and gently pressed my lips against his skin.

To an answer he kissed the top of my head and pulled me closer, holding me tighter.

With him close to me, I suddenly felt the need to talk about it. But could I?

"How long was I asleep?" I mumbled against his chest, and he answered with a murmur of his own. My voice was very hoarse.

"I don't know. Ten, twelve hours maybe."

I didn't answer him, and he placed another kiss on my hair.

"How are you?" his voice was pained again, quiet, and the question was hesitant. Like a part of him wanted to know the answer, while the other part didn't.

"I don't know... Empty, I guess. It's hard to explain. But I feel better than yesterday. Then I felt very... before I saw you, before I was in your arms again, I felt very lonley. But then there you were, I was there in the safety of your arms, and the loneliness was gone. And that's because I always feel very safe with you, you're there. Warming me. Loving me. He said it's been dead for weeks Ian, and I just don't know what to do. The only reason I've been growing is because my body thought the baby was. It's dead, and I can't hold it in my arms, can't love it, it's... gone," I had no idea what I was talking about. I could feel my lips moving, and I heard noices coming from me, but I couldn't understand what I was saying. So I stopped talking and let the sob that was growing inside me out.

Despite my lack of tears I did cry, and Ian held me tight. He didn't say anything, just comforted me without words and a while later I felt better again. My tears stopped leaking over, and my sobs stopped growing in my throat.

We just layed there for what felt like hours, holding each other and saying nothing.

We didn't need to say anything, we knew what the other one felt.

"Wanda, it's okay to still love this child. It was a part of you, and it always will be. So don't be afraid to love it," he whispered, but I didn't answer him. I knew he was right. I _wanted_ him to be right. But it hurt so much to think about the baby, the baby I loved so much but that I would never get to meet.

-

"Do you think you can be alone for a few minutes? I really think I should get you something to eat and drink..." Ian murmured later, when the darkness was coming over us again.

He was right, I had been crying a lot and needed the water. And I should eat, even though I didn't feel any hunger. But I needed to do it, and if not for myself then at least for Ian.

I nodded against his chest and he kissed the top of my head again, and then he got up.

As soon as his arms left mine I felt that loneliness again, but I wouldn't tell him that. Because then he wouldn't leave.

I looked up at him and saw dried blood on his hand, and I felt like crying again.

Not because there was blood on his hands, but because that blood was _my _blood.

I didn't like that, I hated that. Not only because it was my blood, but because it was on _his _hands. He gave me a shirt that I put on, and he put on another one himself.

"Could you get Mel?" I felt like I wanted to talk to her, she was probably worried.

"Of course I can, I'll be right back. I love you," he said, and then it was quiet. I didn't hear him opening or closing the door, but I knew he did. I could feel it.

Now when I was alone I could feel the pain again, and I wanted Ian back with me. Wanted him to hold me.

I knew he wouldn't be gone long, and I tried to say so to myself.

But it didn't work and I was on the edge of tears again when I heard footsteps.

But it wasn't Ian that entered the room, it was Mel. She hesitated in the doorway before she walked inside, and sat down beside me. I couldn't see her face, so I tried to sit up. There wasn't anymore pain when I was sitting, and it felt good to be in another position.

"Mel..." I started, but the interuppted me.

"Wanda, I'm so sorry. Ian told me yesterday, and it's my fault. I think I forced him to do it, but I was so worried. And I'm so sorry." She was sobbing, and I pulled her into a hug. She shouldn't be crying over this.

It felt good that Ian had told her, because to be honest I didn't know if I could.

Mel and I sat there crying for what felt like forever, saying nothing, before Jamie's voice interuppted us.

"Wanda? Mel?" he sounded worried, and I knew that he didn't know about any of this. He didn't know the reason behind our tears.

I wiped my tears away, and I saw Mel doing the same.

"Jamie, I told you not to come here."

"I was worried, and neither you or Jared or Ian wanted to tell me what's going on," he said to Mel, and then he looked at me. The irritation for his sister dissapeared as he saw me, and I wondered how I looked like. It couldn't be good. I felt like crap.

Mel was about to kick him out when I said something.

"No, it's okay. He's going to find out sooner or later anyway," I said, and Jamie came closer, sitting down beside us.

He hugged me before he talked.

"Wanda, are you okay? Why is there blood in the bed?"

"I-I..." I started, but I found myself unable to say the words. I looked at Mel for help.

"Jamie, come here," she said, and he moved closer to her, with his eyes on me.

The motherhood she felt after protecting him for so many years kicked in, and I was sad. In another time I would of loved to see that side of Mel. But now it made me think about it again, and I could feel the pain again. It was fresh and raw. It felt like someone had pressed a knife in my heart, and twirled it.

I laid down again facing the wall, and closed my eyes as I tried to listen to something else then Mel's words. But it didn't work and when I heard her saying miscarriage my tears leaked over again, and then Mel's arms were around me.

I could feel one of Jamie's arms there, too. But even with so many arms around me it felt wrong.

It was people that I loved, but the arms were still wrong, and I hoped Ian would be back soon.

Just as I thought that the arms were removed from me, and replaced with another pair. A pair I would always know. Always recognize.

I rolled over so that I was facing him, and leaned my head against his shoulder.

My arm found his waist, and I pulled myself closer. His hand was stroking my back, and I felt better at once. I felt like home.

Mel said something I didn't listen to, and then it was quiet as Mel and Jamie left us alone.

"I'm sorry it took so long, but I met Doc, so we talked a little bit."

"It's okay, you're here now," I mumbled and opened my eyes.

I wanted to see him, really see him, it felt like it had been too long, so I pulled my head back a little.

I barely recognized his eyes, they looked dead in the darkness. I wanted to bring them back to life.

I couldn't stand to see him in such pain, and I wanted him to feel okay again.

I searched and found his lips, and placed small kisses on them. He kissed me back, but it didn't feel like normal. His lips were dead, too.

So I urgent the kiss more, filled it with all my love for him, and he became more alive.

His lips moved with mine like they used to, and that made me happy. Made me smile into the kiss.

His tounge stroke on my lower lip, asking for permission, and I gladly let him in.

The kiss didn't last long, and when it was over I looked into his eyes again.

They still didn't look like they used, too, but they weren't dead at least, and I sighted as I closed my eyes again, placing one small kiss on his lips.

"I love you, Ian. So much," I mumbled, and his lips pressed against my forehead.

"I love you, too, Wanda. More than you can imagine."

And then I fell back to sleep.

---

Ian was asleep when I woke up, the room light with the morning sun.

I felt a slight pain in my stomach, and the hunger was impossible to ignore.

So without waking Ian, I positioned myself in sitting position and looked around the room.

There was a tray with food and two waterbottles right next to the bed, and next to the tray was the little jar with No Pain. I figured I might as well take one, so I leaned forward and grabbed it, taking out one pill and took it. Only a minute later the pain was gone, and I reached for one of the bottles of water. It was warm, but I didn't care since it was wet. I quickly finished the first one, and then drank half the other one. I decided I should save some for later, if I got thirsty.

I ate the bread first, but the second I put it to my mouth my body took over and it was gone in no time at all. I grabbed the rest of the food, not knowing what I put in my mouth. All I knew was that it tasted fantastic, and I ate it without thinking.

When all the food was gone I took another gulp of the water and leaned back against the wall.

I felt alot better, the only thing I felt now was that little sting of pain in my heart.

But it was bearable. And I knew that was becasuse of Ian. I knew that if he hadn't been with me I would of still felt that unbearable pain.

I wondered if I would of grieved for so long if I had just let Ian in that day when I walked into the hospital.

I was still grieving for my lost baby, but not as much. This was a grief I could live with, it was a grief I would always live with. I accepted that, because I knew it was inevitable.

I closed my eyes and listened to Ian's even breaths. It sounded like he would be asleep for awhile.

I wondered how long he had been asleep, had he been sleeping at all?

He looked peaceful, like nothing in the world could harm him right now.

And I smiled as I watched him, because I loved the expresstion he wore right now.

I heard footsteps walking outside our door, every one of them almost stopping, as if they wondered if they should come inside and do something.

But they all walked by, continuing on their path to somewhere.

I wanted to talk to both Doc and Jeb.

I wanted to talk to Doc because he was a doctor, and a good friend, and he could help me.

I had forgotten most of the things Fords had told me, and I hadn't really listen in the first place. The words hadn't stuck.

And I should talk to Jeb because he should know. I didn't want many people to know, because they would treat me differently. But Jeb knew I was pregnant, and this was his place. He could help me out, and if I did remember right, Fords had told me not to work.

I knew I wanted to, I wanted to do something, but Doc knew all the same things and he had probably told Ian. And neither one of them would let me do any work. So I would talk to Jeb and ask if I could at least work in the kitchen. Because I couldn't just sit still.

As I thought it all through I felt more of my bodies needs kick in.

I didn't want to leave this room, leave Ian, but I had been drinking alot of water after all.

And I should wash myself. I felt so dirty.

So I placed a kiss on Ian's forehead, and then got up. I pulled on Ian's long legged pyjama pants, that I always wore when it was winter and they were way too big in the first place - I didn't care about how I looked like – and took some new clothes with me. I hoped Ian would still be asleep when I came back, and hurried out the door.

I met people on my way, all of them looking at me worridly, but no one said anything.

I was thankful for that, because I didn't feel like talking right now.

There was no line to the bathing room, and I tried to hurry as much as I could.

I tried to wash my dirty, bloody clothes but I gave up after about ten minutes. I didn't want them anyway, drained with memories, so I would just threw them away. Burn them.

When I felt clean enough I got up and left the room.

There was a few people in line, and Mel was one of them.

She quickly left the queue as she saw me, and walked with me.

"Weren't you going to clean yourself up?" I asked her, and she shook her head.

"No, I can do that later. Are you okay?"

"I don't know. Better."

"Good," she said and placed one of the arms around my waist.

"Where's Ian?"

"Asleep. I didn't want to leave him, but I felt like I needed to clean myself up. I'm just going to talk to Doc and Jeb, then I'm going back. But it feels good to be back on my legs, you know?"

"I can understand that, you've been in there for... what is it now? Two days. I think Jeb and Doc are both in the kitchen, or so they were when I left."

"Just let me leave this, and then maybe you can come with me? I don't feel like going in there alone..." I said, and held up my hands with my sleeping clothes in them.

Mel nodded, and I quickly hurried to our bedroom to drop them off.

Ian was still asleep, and I tried my best not to wake him up.

But as I took the water bottle in my hand he started to stir, and woke up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I apologized and he shook his head as he got up.

"You didn't. I'm glad to see that you're back on your feet," he said and smiled as he wrapped his arms around me. I leaned myself against him, and he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

"How are you?" his voice wasn't as pained as the last time he had asked, and he seemed to see the difference on me. He knew I felt better, but he asked just to make sure. I smiled as I answered him.

"I feel alot better, and you know what I think? I think that's because of you."

"It's amazing to see that smile on your face again, Wanda," he whispered and then his lips were pressed a little harder against mine.

I sighted as they broke apart, and hugged him tighter.

"Mel is waiting, so we better go," I said, and didn't even ask if he wanted to come with me. Because I knew he did. He would follow me anywhere. I smiled more as I thought that last thought.

He took my free hand, and together we walked out of the room we had spent the last two days in.

Mel was still waiting at the same place I had left her, and she smiled when she saw me and Ian.

"Hi, Ian," she greeted him, and he said 'hello' to her, too, smiling.

It made me smile just to see him smile, even though I knew that smile was there because I felt better. I knew I was the one who had taken it away, just by not feeling good, and now that smile had return because I felt better.

In a way I both hated and loved how much I controlled his mood with mine.

We didn't say much as we walked, I don't know why. I didn't feel the need to talk, and maybe they didn't either. Or there was simply nothing to talk about.

The kitchen wasn't filled, but it wasn't empty either.

Kyle was there with Jodi, and Sunny was sitting at their table, too.

Jeb and Doc was still there, and so was Jamie and Jared. Maggie and Sharon gave me a look as we walked inside, but other then that they ignored me.

They were the only ones.

As soon as Jamie saw me he came up and gave me a hug, and I gladly hugged him back.

He didn't say anything, just looked at me worridly, and I gave him a small smile in reassurance.

He didn't seem convinced, but let me go, and walked back to his seat at the table next to Jared, with Mel after him. Jared shot me an apologetic look, and I smiled at him, too.

Doc and Jeb was both sitting at the same table, so I walked up to them and seated myself there.

Ian took the place next to me.

Kyle was the first one who spoke.

"Where the hell have you two been for the last couple of days?" he said, but Jared silenced him with a death glare along with Mel.

"What? Can't I ask? Maybe I was worried, huh?" he said, and I shut him out. I knew he hadn't been very worried, but I guessed both Jodi and Sunny had been.

I looked at Ian, and whispered a question to him.

"He doesn't know?"

"No, it's just Doc, Jeb, Mel, Jared and Jamie," he said quietly to me.

"But he's your brother, Ian."

"And there is nothing he can do to make you feel better, is there?" he asked me, and squeezed my hand. I knew he was right, and I didn't want everyone to know. But at the same time he was Ian's brother, he was family. In a way.

I didn't answer him, as I didn't know what do say, so I just leaned myself closer against him.

I could see both Maggie and Sharon leaving, Sharon giving Doc an irritated look on the way.

I relaxed more into Ian's side as soon as they had left, and I felt safe to talk to both Doc and Jeb.

"It's good to see you, Wanda," Doc said, and gave me a weak smile.

"Thank you. And I actually need to talk to both of you," I answered him, looking at both.

"What do you need?" Jeb asked in a kind voice. I could hear more people talking, but in a way I felt like everyone listened in on us. I didn't have the energy to bother.

"It's... I don't remember what the Healer said, about my recover, I mean, and I hoped maybe you could help me?" I asked Doc, and he nodded.

"This actually came up when I talked to Ian yesterday..." he started and that's the first time I remembered he had even talked to him. It didn't surprise me though.

"Let's see... You can't do any hard work, you need your body to recover on itself. I guess you have felt some pain, but that is normal. And you probably have been bleeding, am I right?"

I just nodded, thinking about my bloody clothes I was going to throw away.

He continued talking, not once mentioning the word 'miscarriage', and it turned out there actually wasn't much I had forgot about. He told me things I knew, and I turned to Jeb.

"Jeb, I was just wondering something... You know I'm not supposted to do any hard work, and I just can't sit still, so maybe I can be on kitchen duty for a few weeks?"

"I'm sure I can fix that somehow," he answered me, and I gave him a small smile.

"Thank you."

"Wanda, I really think you should rest for a few more days, and I'm sure everyone can agree with that," Doc said, looking at first me and then Ian and Jeb. They both nodded.

"But I am going to need your husband," Jeb said, and looked straightly at Ian.

As much as I wanted Ian with me I knew Jeb was right. He needed everyone to work, and just by losing me for a few days he would lose alot of manpower.

So since I knew he needed Ian, I just nooded at him, and Ian squeezed my hand.

I knew he wasn't comfortable with leaving me alone for a few days. But I would be fine. At least that's what I hoped. I hadn't really spent the day without him since I had my miscarriage, and I knew I felt lonley without him by my side. And that made me come up with a good plan.

"Jeb, I know you are right, and you need Ian. And yes, I can agree with resting for a few days. But not more than two. I've already grown tired of that room. And honestly I don't know if I can handle this without Ian. So what if I can be there, resting at the side of everything?"

I told nothing but the truth, and Ian pulled me closer when I said I wasn't sure if I could handle things without him. He heard the truth in my words, just like everyone else.

The conversations around us had stopped and I knew they were listening. Mel and Jared probably trying to come up with a good plan if this didn't work. Just like Ian was.

"Hm, I don't know. I suppose you two don't want people knowing, and seeing you on the side of things would just make people start asking questions." Damn it, he was right.

"So, what if you... let's say, bring water and food to the rest?"

I thought about his words, and they sounded good. Only bringing water and food gave me the rest they all wanted me to have, and it meant I could easily see Ian. So I agreed.

"Good. You're starting tomorrow, but Ian starts now."

Ian looked at Jeb, and then turned to me. He looked calm, but his eyes were worried.

"Is that okay?" he asked me, and I wasn't sure what to answer. Because I didn't know.

"I don't know. But they need you, so you should work. I'll be fine, and if I'm not, I'll have Mel."

She had told me she would be working in the kitchen today, so I could just spend the day here.

And that meant I would see Ian at lunch again. Which was not far away.

"You sure?"

"Yep, and you should tell him," I said, talking about Kyle.

"If you need anything, you know where I am," he said, and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

"Ian, you coming?" Jared asked, and he left with Jared, Kyle, Jeb, Doc and Jamie.

I watched him walk away and hoped he would do as I had said, and tell Kyle.

Jodi, Sunny and Mel started to work, and Mel kept me busy with talking all the time.

She knew I needed it to keep my mind of all the other things that surely would be there other wise.

No one asked any questions, even though I knew they had plenty.

* * *

**Not much happened in this chapter, I know. But I felt like it needed to be there. **

**I hope you like it, please let me know ^^ **

**Oh, yeah, btw, Reading the Host will be up in a few days, just so you know**


	20. Chapter 20

**Just wanted to let you know I'm not going to be as involved in this story as I have been.  
I won't update as often, and I won't write as often.  
I just don't think it's as much fun writing this story as I thought it was before, and I'm not inspired right now.**

It's just that I'm writing Reading The Host now, and it takes up all my free time after school and friends.

I can definatly see an end to this story - actually, it's already written.  
But I have a few chapters in between chapter 27 and the last chapter that's not written, and I don't know how to write them.  
I know what I want to happen, I just don't know where to find the words. 

**I will update once a week, since I do have 6 more chapters done, and I will probably update at the same time that I update Reading The Host. So if I'm gone for a long time, you know why now. **

**-**

**Okay, long chapter waiting. And lemons in the end. **

* * *

When Ian and most of the other workers came to the kitchen at lunch time it felt like it had only been an half hour, but in fact there had been almost two and a half.

Even though everyone had been talking to me I had still felt pretty lonley, but as I knew it would, that feeling was gone as soon as he entered the room.

Kyle, who walked behind him, didn't even look my way so I knew Ian had told him.

Instead he walked up to Jodi and wrapped his arms around her.

There was no trace of the old Kyle as he did this, and I knew_ that_ Kyle had been truly gone ever since Jodi had return, even if it was Sunny who controlled the body at the time.

Ian looked kind of rigid as he got his food, but he relaxed as soon as he sat next to me again, knowing that I was okay after all. Of course he asked anyway.

"I'm fine," I told him and smiled. Well, at least I was fine now when he was with me.

I could see that he noticed the small, small lie in my voice, but he didn't say anything about it.

Instead he wrapped one of his free arms around me and started to eat.

I had already been eating, but I still had my bread and picked out small pieces of it that I put it my mouth, eating slowly. I was full, but I ate anyway.

Mel and Jared took their seats opposite to me and Ian, like they always did, and were talking about something I wasn't listening to.

"How has the day been so far?"

"I've been worried about you," Ian murmured, looking at me.

"Tell me something I didn't already know."

"I told Kyle." I knew that too.

"What did he say?"

"He mumbled something that sounded like 'I'm sorry' and then he ignored me. But that's just Kyle. He's never known how to handle bad news."

"I'm sorry," I said, but Ian shook his head.

"Don't be. Tell me about your day so far."

"I missed you, but Mel kept me busy."

"Yep, now we know everything about each other," Mel said, and Jared chuckled.

"Like you didn't already," he said, and our whole table laughed.

It felt good to do that again, and Ian pulled me closer as he heard it.

The lunch ended, and Ian promised he would be back as soon as they were done.

It wasn't much more do to, and it would probably only take about an hour.

Mel and I was alone in the kitchen, Sunny and Jodi working on the field, and I felt like I should tell her more. We were talking about a little bit of everything exept that, so I decided to bring it up.

I felt like Mel should know everything.

"I had Fords Deep Water again. He told me it... it had a disease, and had been dead for weaks," tears were building up and it was hard to talk about it. Mel noticed, and sat beside me.

"Wanda, you don't have to tell me."

"I want to."

She nodded and I continued telling her. I told her about how happy Ian and I had been over the baby, and that I was going to tell her in only two weeks. That it had been really hard keeping it a secret all this time. I told her how I had felt after the miscarriage, how I felt now.

I told her things only me and Ian knew.

I felt better after telling her. It was always so obvious to tell Ian, and it felt good that one more person knew about everything. The two persons that mattered the most in my life knew everything now. And that made me feel better. Made that black hole in my heart shrink.

It was still there, the grief of my baby, but it would be gone. I felt it, and I was happy about knowing that.

---

The weeks passed, and that black hole dissappeared.

It didn't hurt to think about the baby that I could of hold in my hand, could of shown my love.  
I loved it, but I had accepted that I would never see it.

Ian had helped me so much, and I was so grateful for him.

If it was possible, I loved him even more after this experience and I felt like it was the same for him. We had been through this together, and it felt like we could go through everything as long as we were just that, together. And we always will be.

Ian's birthday was only two weeks away, and I had no idea what to give him.

He had told me he didn't need anything, but that didn't mean that I didn't want to give him something. Because I did. I wanted to give him something he would actually need, and use.

We were on a short raid, and I figured this was the best place to find the perfect gift.  
So I had kept my eyes opened, but this was the final day and I still hadn't found anything.

I was driving through a city, and Ian sat in the passenger seat next to me, when I saw it.

It would be absolutly perfect. It was something he would both use and need.

And the best part was that I knew that he would love it.

Ian looked at me questioning as I stopped the van, and I looked him straight in the eyes with a smile on my lips.

"Why are we stopping?" I heard Mel asking from behind.

"Ian, climb back. And don't look where I'm going. Mel, make sure he doesn't peek," I said, and Ian chuckled as did I.

"This better not be for my birthday," he said, and I smiled.

"Climb back," I just said, and watched him do just that before I climbed out of the car and walked across the street.

As I did that I tried to think of a way to make the unusual request not as suspisious as it really was.

-

As I walked out of the store I couldn't believe how easy it had been.

The store owner had believed me at once, not one bit suspisious at all, and I had got what I wanted.

It had taken a while to make it done, but now I was walking out with exactly what I wanted to give him for his 27th birthday.

"What kind of gift takes almost fourty minutes to buy?" Ian asked as I climbed back into the car.

"Only the perfect one," I smiled, and took his hand.

I had the gift in a bag, that I put in the back seat with Mel so Ian wouldn't see it.

It was wrapped, but still. I didn't want to give him one clue.

We had only been an hour away from the caves, and the ride went fast.

As usual Jared was the one who drove the van back after we had unloaded all the supplies.

Both Ian and I was tired, so we decided we should go to sleep.

We laid down on the bed, my back against his chest and his arm around my waist.

We always shared the narrow bed, even though there was two mattresses.

But we had always liked sleeping close to each other, so we did.

I was playing with Ian's fingers thinking about some things.

"A penny for your thoughts," Ian said, and I smiled.

"What makes you think that I was thinking about something?"

"My hand. You always do that when you're thinking about something," I could hear the smile in his voice, and I smiled, too.

"I was thinking that maybe we could stop using contraceptive and... well, not _try. _But let's just see what happens. Being pregnant made me realize how much I want to have a baby. I don't know, what do you think?" My words were only whispered.

Ian was quiet for a second, twisting his fingers with mine.

When he spoke his voice was intensive, filled with emotion.

"I think we should do what you think, and let what ever happens happen."

I turned around, so that I could see his face. He looked just as determinated as his words had been.

But I saw something I wasn't sure if I had heard in his voice. He looked happy.

"Are you sure?" I asked him, and he pulled me a little bit closer.

"Wanda, I love you. And I would love to have a baby with you. So yes, I am sure."

"I love you, too," I said, and kissed him.

---

Luckily I woke up before Ian, so I had time to finish everything.

It looked like he would be asleep for awhile longer, but I still hurried as much as I could.

I only wore one of Ian's over sized t-shirts, and had pulled on a pair of his boxers.

It was early, and I was sure I wasn't going to meet many people. And who cared if I looked like this?

I didn't know how many was up this time, but I only met Mel, Jared and Kyle in the kitchen.

"What are you doing up?" I asked them all as I went through the kitchen, in search for breakfast.

"I'm always up this time," Kyle said, and Mel and Jared both said they couldn't really sleep.

"What are _you _doing up?" Mel asked me. She knew I liked spending the mornings in bed.

And she eyed my outfit suspiciosly, with a small smile on her lips.

"Mel, did you honestly think I would treat this day like a normal day?"

"No, not really," she chuckled, and helped me making the breakfast ready.

"What's so special about today?" Kyle asked, chocking me.

"Kyle, are you serious?" Mel asked, before I had the time to do so.

"Yeah, what's so special today?"

"It's July 29th today, Kyle," I said, and this time I chocked him.

"What? No it can't be."

"But it is."

"Wow, time passes fast sometimes," he mumbled and I chuckled with Mel.

"Yeah, so don't expect seeing your little brother today," she said, and I shoved her away.

"What? It's true. And you and Ian haven't slept together in over a weak, so it's about time," she said, ignoring me when I shoved her harder. Seriously? Did she just say that? By the look on Jared and Kyle's faces, yes she did. But I knew things about her as well. It was time for payback.

"Neither has you or Jared, and he won't be getting any for at least a few more days," I said calmly, looking at her. She gasped, forgetting how much I knew about her as well.

It was really a coincidence that we had our periods at the same time, and at times like these that was a good thing. I could see that Mel wanted to be mad at me, but she couldn't since she started this.

Instead she kept going on the same trail.

"Have fun today, spending it in bed," she said, and I laughed.

"Seriously, Mel? Okay, if it was just you and me, but C'mon, we're not alone in here," I said, and placed the breakfast on one of the trays, leaving them.

"Since we won't be seeing him today, tell him..." I heard Jared say, but I broke him off mid-sentance.

"Shut up." I laughed, and hurried back to our room.

Ian was still fast asleep, and had rolled himself over from his side onto his back.

I placed the tray on the floor, and put the little box on top of it, after finding it from my genious hidingplace. I felt like laughing when I thought about it. It wasn't genious at all, and Ian had probably found it a long time ago. I pulled the boxers off, but kept the t-shirt on. It was the one I always slept in, and I loved wearing it. Not only because it was comfortable, but because it smelled like Ian.

I smiled and straddled him, smiling more when he didn't woke up from it.

He would be asleep for a long time if I didn't wake him up, which I was planning on doing.

Normally, I would of hated it, but today it was a necessity.

"Ian?" I said in normal tone, but I got no respone from him.

"Ian?" I asked again, a little louder this time. Still no response.

Which left me with only one more way to do it in.

I pressed my lips against his gently, and at first there was no response.

But after a few seconds his lips started to move with mine, and his hands moved from his side to my face, one of them pulling me closer.

I smiled into the kiss as it got deeper, rougher, and my head started to spin.

I broke the kiss, still smiling, and rose up so that I was in sitting position again.

"Good morning," I said, and Ian chuckled.

"That was more than good," he said and leaned up to give me a gentle kiss.

As soon as our lips broke apart, I leaned down over the side of the bed and grabbed the little box.

"Happy birthday. Now open," I said, and looked at the box he now held in his hand.

"Can I atleast sit up first?" he asked, and I moved so that I was sitting on the bed, instead of on him.

He got up into sitting position, and leaned against the wall. He looked at me for a second, before he talked again.

"You're more than welcomed to sit there again." I chuckled, but happily did as he said.

When I was straddling him again, he took the box and looked at it suspisiously, and then eyed me.

"Do I even want to know what's in it?" he joked, and I smiled.

"Come on, you'll love it," I said honestly, and he opened it.

I was talking before he even got the chance to know what it was.

"I saw the sign outside the store, and I just thought it would be a good gift. It's something you'll need, and something you'll use. I thought it would be harder to go in there and ask them to design a couple of lenses that had a silver ring on them, but it was easy. They believed every word I said, and I have a few more boxes."

"So this means..."

"You'll be able to follow me if you want to. Your eyes will tell everyone that you're a soul."

"You know I'll always wants to follow you. Everywhere you go. Thank you," he said, and I heard nothing but the truth in his voice, and saw nothing but the truth in his eyes.

It truly had been a good idea to get him contact lenses, designed so that he would look like a soul when he wore them.

He gave the small box to me, and I put it on the floor again, next to the tray with breakfast.

"So, how does it feel to be twenty-seven?" I asked, as I got up again.

"Twenty-seven," he said, thoughtful. Almost like he was tasting the word. I held my laugher back.

"Honestly, I feel no different," he said then. "I still love you - maybe even more now than when I was twenty-six, impossibly so. So, no difference at all," he smiled, and I leaned down and brushed my lips against his. He always made me feel special like that, just saying some small things that didn't really matter. But to me they does, and they always will matter the most to me. And it was always these little things that made my heart grow a little more for Ian, every day.

"Are you hungry?" I said against his lips, and it took a while before he answered me.

That might of been because I kept kissing him, not really letting him answer my question.

"Starving," he mumbled, but he didn't seem to have any intention on moving, or stop kissing me.

Both of his hands cupped the sides of my face, and my fingers were securitly locked on his shoulders.

I sucked on his bottom lip, and let my hands trace down his shoulders, over his bare chest, and down to his waist. I traced them back up over his arms, and locked my arms behind his neck, gripping his hair between my fingers.

It was impossible not to feel his love for me in this kiss, just like it was with every kiss we shared.

Even if it was a quick kiss on my hair, a chaste kiss on my lips, the little deeper kiss, kisses like these, the even deeper ones, and the kisses we shared making love to each other.

He always poured it in there, and I always felt all his love for me. Kissing him was always an amazing feeling, and that feeling would never go away. I could feel it. I could feel that we would always love each other just as much as we did this very second. We were meant to be.

I can feel it in his touches, that makes my skin burn.

It's there in our words to each other, the way we talk with each other.

The way we move when we are around each other.

It's in the feeling of always wanting to be near him, always wanting skin to skin contact with him.

Always wanting him to be first to know something, always wanting he to be first with everyone.

It's there when my heart skips a beat when I see him in the morning, when I fall asleep next to him on the nights, longing for the morning to come just so that I can talk to him again.

I stroked my tounge over his lower lip, asking for permission and he left me an entrance.

When our tounges met I knew Mel was right. I had talked to Jeb yesterday, asking if we could take the day off because it was Ian's birtday. He said yes.

Mel was right - if I could, I would keep him in this room the entire day. Have him all by myself.

Without me knowing how, Ian managed to lay us down, with me over him.

But I rolled us over, so that he was over me. I didn't like being on top of him, and I wanted to feel him over me. Wanted to feel every one of his body parts against me.

My hands moved from his hair, and back to lock behind his neck.

His hands searched over my waist, up towards my ribs, and the gray shirt I was wearing followed.

His warm fingers moved under my shirt, finding my breasts and and he was just about to grope them when we heard a soft knock on the door.

Ian didn't move his hands, and first I thought he would ignore the person behind the door.

That would be perfectly fine with me.

"Go away," he mumbled loudly against my lips, and then his tounge found it's way back into my mouth.

"No can do," we heard Kyle's vioce from the other side, and Ian's body tensed with his irritation.

Kyle could say whatever he needed later, and he knew, thanks to Mel, that I would keep Ian busy today. So Kyle was just here to be irritating.

"Kyle, if you don't go away now, you're going to have a black eye tomorrow. I'm serious," Ian said, this time removing his lips from mine when he talked.

"You are totally...-" he started, in his most teasing voice ever, but Ian interuppted him.

"GO AWAY!" he screamed, and we heard Kyle laugh as he walked away.

"Finally," Ian murmured as he found my lips again, and I smiled.

"Giving your brother a black eye?_ Big_ turn on, Ian," I chuckled against his lips.

"I have my ways," he said, his hands moving and starting to massage my breasts.

That made me shiver under his body again, and I let out a quiet moan.

He did have his ways, and he knew just how to use every one of his body parts to make me satisfied. His hands left my breasts, pulling my shirt over my head and tossing it on the floor.

It was amazing really, the feeling I felt right at that second. The expectation of what would happen.

It got better and better every time, more perfect - and at times like these, when we hadn't been this close for awhile - it was even better. I couldn't wait to feel him closer.

His lips didn't return to mine, instead they searched over my skin. My throat, my collar bones, my chest, my breasts, placing one of my erect nipples in his mouth, sucking on it.

I let out another moan, higher this time, but I silenced it as much as I could, biting my lip.

My hands on his hair pulled his lips up to mine again, and then my hands left his hair and traced down over his chest until they reached his boxers. My hands lingered there for a while, before one of my hands traced lower, underneath the waistband of his boxers, finding his very hard lenght.

He groaned into my mouth as I held him in my hand, but his hands brought my arms back up, holding my wrists on both sides of my head. Again, his lips searched over my skin, sucking and licking on it.

His hands traced along my sides, following his lips movements, and they were on my waist as his lips were on my stomach. His fingers lingered on the waistband on my hipsters, and I knew what he was about to do.

"Don't make this about me," I whispered, my voice filled with expectation and I knew I would give in if he said against me. Which I knew he would.

"It's my bithday, Wanda. So if I want to make this about you, I will," he said in a beautiful husky voice, filled with lust.

"Mmh," I mumbled, and he knew I was giving in, so he continued with his plans, pulling of my hipsters, and slighlty spreading my legs. He kissed my inner thighs, and then kissed my wet lips. He kissed them gently, and slowly, making me moan again.  
Him ignoring my now throbbing clit made me feel like I was going to explode. I hate it when he tease me like this. And he knew that.  
He licked all the glory parts around it, still ignoring the part I most wanted to be in his mouth.  
Finally his tounge lighly brushed my clit, and it made me moan loudly, hoping no one would hear us.

His tounge went wild, flickering up and down my clit, and I moaned every time he repeated the motion and my hands was tangled in his hair, gripping it thighter. He slowly took my clit in between his lips, and started sucking on it. God in heaven, that felt so good.

And as if he knew how close I was, one of his fingers pushed past the entrance of my wet pussy.

"Oh, god," I moaned, and he stoped sucking on my clit, just to go back to the flickering part, and then moving his tounge in a circular motion. He added a second finger, and that sent me off the edge.

I had to bite my lip hard not to scream out as my back arched and my eyes rolled back.

As I fell down from cloud nine his lips found mine, and our tounges danced around with each other.

This time he didn't stop me as my fingers reached the wasitband of his boxers, because he knew I had other intentions this time. I pulled them down as long as I could, and he helped me with the last part, kicking them off. Never breaking our kiss.

I could feel him sliding inside me, making us both moan in pleasure.

He started moving, thrusting ever so gently and I responded to him by meeting his thrusts, making love to him too. His uneven breaths became even more strained and I knew that he was close. He started to make soft heavenly moans, and moved so gracefully above me, holding me close. Kissing me when we weren't letting the pleasures of the moment escape our lips.

Ian buried his face into my shoulder, moaning my name, and my hands pierced his back.

I felt him pulse inside of me, he was coming. Knowing that sent electric waves through my body.

I cried out because the pulsing sent me into another orgasm.

Our breathing slowly started to calm down and he kissed me deeply.

He rolled away from me, sitting up against the wall again, and scooped me up in his arms, holding me tight. I turned my head up, so that I could look at him.

"Happy birthday," I whispered, and he smiled.

"I love you, Wanda," he whispered back, leaning down and kissing me.

"Love you more," I answered him, staring into his burning eyes.


	21. Chapter 21

The rain was coming, and we were all moving into the caves for a few months.

It was already mid-september and this year had passed so quickly.

Ian insisted on carrying both our mattresses to the game room, even though we both knew we would only use one of them.

But, on the other hand, if we left it in our room it would be destroyed with all the water.

So we brought both, and placed them in one of the corners. The corners were usually a little bit colder, so we would have more privacy there. Besides, we could warm each other if it got cold.

Ian and I had truly been together for a year now, although it felt like much longer.

We knew each other so well, and it felt like we had known each other for our whole lives.

Through the year our love had only grown stronger, which it would continue to do.

I could easily picture us growing old together. The only thing in our future that was unsure was if our lives would be in these caves or outside.

I couldn't help but hope that the souls would give this planet back to it's rightfull owner. The humans.

It got easier and easier everyday to think of myself as one, much to help from living so close to them.

My friends are humans, the ones I love are humans. They make me feel human. The emotions I feel makes me feel human. The things I do make me feel human.

But there are still moments when I feel like a soul. Especially when something bad happens.

Something that the souls has created. Whenever I think of all the humans who should be able to live out in the free - Ian, Mel, Jamie... - those are the times where I blame this life on me, one of the souls who had destroyed their lives.

They always argue with me, tells me I deserve a life here, says I am human and that their lives has gotten better with me there with them. They, espacially Ian, always know when I feel like that, even though I never say the words out loud.

They always makes those thoughts disappear, even though I know they will probably be back at some point.

"Okay, I want everyone to be quiet in five!" I heard Jeb scream, and people around me started to lay down, and most of the talking turned down to quiet whispers.

Ian had left for a quick stop in the bathing room for about ten minutes ago, so he should be back soon. I was tired, so I layed down, leaving room for him, and closed my eyes.

I barely had time to relax before I heard his and Jared's voices, and then shortly after he laid down beside me. He placed one of his arms around my waist, and I twisted his fingers with mine.

"You tired?" he asked, and I nodded.

"Love you," he said, our normal goodnight words, and I could feel myself smiling.

"Love you more," I said, and then I felt Ian pressing his lips on the side of my throat, and then I felt him relaxing beside me.

His breaths became more even and slower, and eventually it seemed like he had fallen asleep.

I heard soft snorings from around us in the big room, and even some sleep talkers. Quiet mutters.

But even though I was tired, it didn't go so easy for me.

Thoughts were spinning around in my head, making it impossible for me to fall asleep.

I didn't know how long they had been there, but those thoughts never left my mind.

I had been having them for awhile now, and kept them to myself.

I wanted to be sure before I said something, but I wasn't sure yet.

I knew I should really talk to Ian about it, see it from his point of view.

I tried to tell myself I would tell him first thing tomorrow morning, but the thoughts didn't leave my head. I tried to think of something else, but it didn't work. It was so hard to let go of the thought...

Ian's arms, loosly hanging over my waist, pulled me tighter and closer and I was a little surprised.

I thought he was asleep just like everyone else.

"Talk to me," he said quietly, and I answered just as quietly.

"I can't sleep."

"What's keeping you awake?"

I turned around so that I could whisper more quietly, and he could hear me better.

This wasn't something that I wanted anyone else to hear. And I shouldn't talk about it here, where we weren't alone. If anyone was still awake, they could hear us.

"I'm late," Ian's eyes flashed open with my words. It was too dark to see the emotion in them.

But it was easy to hear the emotion in his voice. It was full of expectation, and a little nervousness.

"How much?"

"I missed the last one completly, and I'm about a week late now... And I'm _never_ late."

His hand moved from my side to my hair, the side of my face. His eyes bored into mine.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" His voice wasn't sad or dissapointed. It was just... curious.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to be sure before I did so. I was going to tell you, but I'm still not sure."

"Don't be sorry for not telling me, babe. You don't have to tell me everything, but just know that I'm here to listen if you do want to tell me something."

"I know you're here. And I always wants to tell you something. You're always the first person I want to talk to when I have something to tell."

"Ditto," I could sense his smile more than I saw it, and I smiled back.

"For Pete's sake! Someone be quiet! I'm sure you can talk about it tomorrow, when people don't want to sleep," we both heard Jeb saying, but it seemed like he was the only one who was still awake, and no one woke up from his words.

We were quiet for a few minutes before we talked even more quiet than before.

"You're going to a Healer tomorrow. And I'm coming with you," he said, and I smiled even more.

I remembered how much I had wanted Ian by my side the last time, and now I could have.

Just because of my brilliant gift. This would be the first time he would use the contacts, and I hoped they would look real on him.

I searched for his lips, but didn't find them. Luckily, Ian knew I was looking and helped me.

His lips gently pressed against mine, one, two, three times, before they broke apart.

"Love you."

"Love you more. Now sleep," he said, and I drifted off to sleep only minutes later.

---

Ian and I didn't really have time to talk much in the morning, since Jeb pushed us to work.

There was still alot to do, and I didn't know if I was comfortable with just leaving them alone. Even for just a few hours.  
And I thought that we should really ask Jeb this time if it was okay to leave.

Ian and I worked on different sides of the field, so we couldn't talk during the day either.

But we shot each other glances, and when Trudy and Lily came with water for us and we could take a short break, Ian was quick to find me.

"Mel, can I just talk to Ian about something, real quick?" I asked her mid-sentence, and she looked at me curious but nodded. Ian barely had time to stop beside us before I took his hand and lead him away. I stopped when I was sure no one would hear us, and turned so that I faced him, and took his other hand.

"I think we should leave soon, but I don't know. It's a lot of work left, and I just don't want to leave them."  
"I know, me neither. But we have to make sure," he smiled as he said the last words, and I smiled back. He was right. We needed to know. I _wanted_ to know.

"We should tell Jeb we are leaving right after lunch. But could you do it? You know I can't lie," I chuckled, and he leaned down and placed a kiss on my lips as if to say it was okay.

"We should go back and do as much work as we can before we go," he said and so we did.

Just as we entered the field again I felt a hand on my shoulder, and turned around only to see that the owner of the hand was Jared, and he was standing right beside me.

He looked nervous, looking around himself. Almost if to make sure no one saw him here.

"Wanda, can I talk to you a second?"

"Yeah, sure," I answered him, squeezing Ian's hand and then dropped it.

He lead me to the same place Ian and I had just been, and it took him awhile before he started talking. It looked like he was trying to think of something to say.

"Spit it out," I chuckled, and he looked at me.

"Can you help me with something?"

"What do you need me for?"

"Do you think that you can sneak out for a few hours and get me something?"

I wondered what he needed, and nodded, thinking that I could fix it when Ian and I was going later.

"You don't have to fix it now, no rush..."

"Jared..."

He took a deep breath, and then said something that really shouldn't of shocked me as much as it did.

"I'm planning on proposing, and I need you to get the ring."

I didn't know what to say. I felt honoured, and I really wanted to do this.

"Really?" I asked, and he laughed at my expression.

"Don't freak. I don't want her to know anything. Can you do it?"

"Yeah. How do you want it to look like?" Was this really happening? He was proposing to Mel?

"I don't know. But you know her, and I'm sure you can get something beautiful that she's going to like."

I was already going though in my mind how she would like the ring to look like, and I nodded at him.

"This definatly deserves a hug," I said, grinning, and gave him one.

"Do you have any idea of when you can fix it?"

"Today, I think. I'm just going to talk to Ian," I said the last part a little distant, and we started walking. Jared didn't say anything, he looked deep in thought.

"Do you think she'll say yes?" he asked me suddenly, and I almost laughed. How could he even ask that?

"No doubt about it. She really loves you," I said, and he smiled.

"I love her, too. Can you try to not smile like that?" he said right before we rounded the corner, and I tried to compose myself. It didn't work very well, and he laughed at me.

I could see Ian standing with Jeb, and he looked at us as we walked inside.

He gave me a short nod, and I knew he meant that it was okay for us to leave.

"I'll see you later Jared," I said, and avoided Mel as much as I could.

It was hard not to look at her - and grin - but I kept my eyes locked on Ian.

I didn't think ahead and walked to stand beside him. Jeb saw me grinning, and figured it had something to do with the fact that we were leaving today.

"So, Wanda, Ian never told me why you need to leave," he said, and I tried to stick to the truth as much as I could. Now Jared had gave me the best exuse.

"Jared asked me to fix something."

"What?"

"I really can't tell you. But I'm one hundred precent sure you'll find out," I said, and grinned even more thinking about how Mel would react. Would I be the first one to know, just like she was the first one to know about Ian proposing to me?

"Hm, okay. You better leave now, and come back as soon as possible," Jeb said, and both Ian and I said goodbye.

No one seemed to notice us leaving, and we walked faster than normal pace.

"So, what did Jared want?"

"You'll see, and I'm going to need your help with that one," I said, and Ian didn't say anything else about it. We went by our room and Ian got the contacts before we walked toward the exit.

It didn't take any longer than usual to go to the van, and I decided I wanted to drive so Ian took the passenger seat.

We talked the entire time and the ride to the nearest city didn't take us long.

I parked in the shadows, and Ian took out the contacts and looked at them, pursing his lips.

"I have no idea of how to do this," he chuckled, and I chuckled with him.

Luckily, my host had been a optician and my memories told me how to do it, so I straddled him and took the contact from his finger.

I checked so that it was the right way, and told him to look up. He did, and it only took me a second to place the lense at the right place. I didn't look into his eye, and did the same thing to his other eye.

"How does it feel?"

"Strange," he said, and blinked a few times.

"So, how do I look?" he asked, and for the first time I looked into his eyes.

I didn't like what I saw. Not at all. There was no trace of him being human, the way I wanted him to be, in his eyes, and he really did look like a true soul. It freaked me out.

He saw my grimace.

"It can't be that bad," he murmured.

"No, it looks real. _Too_ real," I said, and his hand came up to my cheek.

"You know it's not real, and that's what matters, right?"

"Right," I said, and climbed out of the car.

"You ready?" he asked as he closed the door behind him.

I only nodded, because I wasn't ready. Even though he looked like a soul, I didn't want him to be among them. I didn't know if everyone else would take him for a soul, and I wasn't comfortable with not knowing if he was safe or not. But I wanted him with me, and this was the only way to truly know if the contacts worked or not.

This was the same hospital I had been on when I found out I was pregnant, and I hoped I wouldn't get that Healer that I didn't know the name of. Atleast I had Ian with me this time. My day couldn't get ruined with him with me.

As soon as we walked into the hospital, hand in hand, I got nervous.

I could see at least six souls among us, and then there was a whole hospital with Healers that easily could insert someone into Ian.

Ian noticed my nervousness, and squeezed my hand tighter. I squeezed it back.

"Hello, what can I help you with?" the older woman behind the desk asked me friendly.

"Hi, I would like to see a Healer. I think I might be pregnant."

The woman behind the desk smiled at me.

"You can sit down for a few minutes, and a Healer will be with you as soon as possible."

Ian and I walked to the waiting room, that was empty, and we sat down on the sofa next to each other. I crossed my legs over each other, and leaned my head against his shoulder, biting my lip.

The woman behind the desk had barely looked at Ian, and when she did she hadn't noticed anything.

So I trusted the contacts more, and I belived more that no one would notice Ian being human. But I still could't be sure.

So I was still nervous. I just didn't know if it was because I had Ian with me, or if it was because I might be pregnant again. I guessed a little bit of both.

"You're going to chew your lip off," Ian suddenly chuckled, and I smiled, letting go of my lower lip.

I pulled up one of my legs, so that I was sitting on it, and once again relaxed into Ian's side.

"I can't really help it, I'm nervous," I mumbled, looking at him.

He had a small smile on his lips, and his eyes were burning in a beautiful blue colour.

"I might be able to help you with that," he mumbled, and I smiled knowing what he meant.

His hand moved to cup the side of my face, and his lips came down on mine.

The kiss wasn't very deep, but as he knew it would it made all my nervousness dissappear at once.

His lips lingered on mine, and I could feel him smiling into the kiss.

"Well, if it isn't Petals Open to the Moon," I heard a familiar voice say, and both mine and Ian's head snapped into the direction of the sound.

I was shocked by seeing the familar face on this hospital.

"Hi, what are you doing here?" I asked him, a little taken aback

"I could ask you the same question," he chuckled. "No, I didn't like my former hospital, so I replied for a new one and ended up here."

"Oh. Well, I hope you like it here."

"I do, very much so."

"Healer Fords, this is your new patient. I see you're already talking," a man came up behind Fords and said. I didn't know where, but I knew I had seen him somewhere before.

"Yes, Darren," I recognized his assistant then, when he said his name.

"This is Petals Open to the Moon, and I've met her a few times before," he said, and he got a sad tone in his voice when he said the last words. I wondered if he was thinking about our last meeting.

He made a movement with his arm, showing us to come with him, and Ian and I got up at the same time. I never let go of his hand as we walked into the examination room.

"I assume this is your husband," he said to me, as I took a seat in one of the chairs that was standing in the room. Ian took the one next to me, and Fords the one opposite to me.

I could see Fords eyeing Ian, but he didn't seem to have a clue that he was human.

That calmed me.

"Yes, it is," I smiled, looking at Ian, who looked down on me.

"How you been since last time?" he asked me then, the sad tone back in his voice.

"It was tough in the beginning, but I had help," I said, and Ian squeezed my hand as he heard the sadness in my voice. I squeezed it back, telling him I was okay.

Fords were quiet for a few seconds, as if thinking though what he should say next.

"So, what can I help you with today?" he asked me, a small smile playing on his lips.

I started to chew on my lip, and in the back of my eye I could see Ian smiling.

Why was I nervous? Fords had no idea that Ian was human, and I wanted to know if I was pregnant of not. _Get a grip of yourself,_ I thought.

"I... I think I'm pregnant again."

"Then let's make sure," he said, and then he asked me questions that I answered.

Again, he reminded me so much of Doc...

He told me to lie down on the cot so that he could examine me, and Ian held my hand the entire time. Fords did nothing I hadn't experienced before, and he left us for awhile when he picked up the results. I sat up, but other than that I stayed on the cot.

"He seems... intreresting," Ian murmured, and I shoved him slightly.

"I like him, I think he's nice. In some ways he reminds me of Doc..."

"Really?"

"Yeah, they are alike in personality. Just give him a chance, and I think you'll like him."

"I never said I don't. I just said he's interesting, and I think he seems to be a good Healer."

"He is," I said, and then Fords walked into the room again.

"I'm happy to tell you that you are in fact pregnant again," he said, and both mine and Ian's faces lit up with big smiles.

I squeezed Ian's hand, and then I pressed my lips against his gently once.

I was pregnant again, _we_ were pregnant again.

I couldn't believe it, it was unbelievable. Amazing.

But before I had more time to think about it, Fords wanted me to lie down again.

"I want to do an ultrasound, so that we know that the baby is okay, and so that we know how far along you are," he said. I couldn't remember doing an ultrasound the last time, but I was in a haze that time. I was happy this time, too, of course I was, maybe even more happy this time.

But there was a little tiny piece of me that was afraid, worried, and that piece made me stay here on the ground and focused on what was going on.

So I laid down, and pulled my shirt up so that Fords could put on some sort of jelly on my stomach.

It was cold, and a shiver ran through my body.

"Okay, so first we're going to listen to the heartbeat," Fords said, and took out some sort of machine.

I couldn't describe it even if I had too.

He placed a small part of the machine on my stomach, and he searched around.

It took a few seconds, but then there it was. A rythm, an even heartbeat.

The joy that shot through me was overwhelming, and I couldn't really believe that I was actally hearing the heartbeats of our baby. Ian's hand tightened around mine.

"The heartbeat seems to be perfect, and I can't hear anything that should turn into a problem in the future. Everything seems normal," Fords said calmly, and took the machine away.

He took out another one, that looked almost the same, and did the same thing again.

He looked onto a monitor, that he turned in our direction after awhile.

"See, right there,-" he said, pointing at a lighter spot on the monitor, -"that's your baby."

When I saw our baby like this, so small but yet so big, I couldn't help myself, an I started to cry tears of joy. Before I had time to react any further I felt Ian's lips against mine. It was hard to kiss him, since both Ian and I had big grins on our lips.

"God, I love you so much," he whispered against my lips, and I smiled even more.

"Love you more," I answered him.

He placed one more gentle kiss on my lips, and then we both turned to look at the monitor again.

"You seem to be around eight weeks pregnant, but it's hard to tell this early in the pregnancy. Everything seems normal and I can't see anything wrong with your baby, but I would like you to come back in ten weeks. It's in week eightteen that we call in every pregnant woman, so that we can do an ultrasound and make sure everything is fine and make sure everything is going the way it's supposted to. So I would like you to come in then."

"Of course," I answered him, and I could see Ian nodding.

Fords took the machine away, and dried off the jelly on my stomach so that I could pull down my shirt again. He said some other things, gave us some information and a picture of the baby, and said that we would see each other in ten weeks again. And if there was_ anything_, we could call him.

We said goodbye, and Ian and I left the hospital together, hand in hand with smiles on our lips.

* * *

**That's it, the next chapter.  
So Wanda is pregnant again. Did you expect it?**

**As always, let me know what you think.**


	22. Chapter 22

I stopped the car right outside on the street, and took the keys out.

But I didn't climb out of the car.

I looked at Ian, who looked at me.

"Never thought I'd say this, but take your ring off," I told him, and his eyes widened a little bit.

He was surprised. I knew this way was the best way, so this was the way we would do it.

"What? Why?"

"Because, right now, I'm your married sister who is helping you get a ring for your girlfriend."

"What are you talking about?" he said, but took his ring off and gave it to me.

I placed it hidden in the car.

"You know that Jared wanted to talk to me earlier? He wanted me to do something for him," I said, and smiled. The smile had never left either my or Ian's faces since we left the hospital, but mine grew wider as I thought of all the ways Jared could propose to Mel. And all the ways she could say yes on.

"He's proposing?" Ian asked, and I nodded.

"We're not a couple the second we walk into that store, so we won't be able to do this," I said, and leaned in and gave him a kiss. I wished that we would be able to show our love, and in other places we could. But not when I was playing the role of his married sister.

I sighted as our lips broke apart, and then I hurried to climb out of the car.

Because even the small kisses with Ian always made me want more.

A small bell rang as we entered the store, and the owner looked up from his desk.

"Hello, can I help you with something?" he said, and I told him yes.

"You see, my brother here is proposing to his girlfriend, so we need a ring."

"How would you like it to look like?" he looked at Ian as he asked the question, and he answered the best way imaginable.

"I'm not sure, can't we just take a look around?"

"Of course, just let me know if you need any help." Ian and I turned around, and I told him to look for something beautiful that Mel would like.

There was so many rings, but I found no one that I liked as I walked around. And no one that Mel would like.

I looked over at Ian, who was standing at one of the glassboxes, looking concentrated.

Almost like he found something he liked. So I walked over to him.

"Found something?"

"Maybe. What do you think?" he said, and pointed at one of the rings.

It reminded me of my own ring, but it looked new. Probably because it was.

It was beautiful.

"It's beautiful," I whispered.

"You want it?" he said in a teasing voice. He knew how much I loved his mothers ring.

"I love mine and I wouldn't take it off for a million bucks. But it's perfect for Mel."

"You know we don't need money," he whispered, and I smiled.

"You know what I mean. – Exuse me, can I try this one?" I said, and raised my voice so that the owner would hear me.

He came over to us, and took the ring out and gave it to me.

I placed it on my other hand, and it fitted perfectly. Good thing Mel and I had the same sizes.

"We'll take it," Ian said and the owner went back to stand behind the desk.

He took out a small box that he placed the ring in, and then gave it to Ian.

"I'll hope she'll like it," he said, and with that we left the store.

Ian wanted to drive on the way back, so I took the place in the passenger seat.

As soon as Ian had climbed into the car he took out his wedding ring and placed it on his finger, making me laugh.

"You missed it?" I said, and Ian gave the little black box to me.

"More than you'll know," he said, and his smile took my breath away.

"Good, because I didn't like it," I said, smiling back at him.

He started the car, and then he took my hand.

"So, how would you like to do this?"

I knew what he meant. He was talking about the pregnancy, no doubt about it.

"I don't know. I'm not going to tell Mel yet, that much I know. And this time we don't need to tell either Jeb or Doc, and to be honest I don't know if I want to. I know we should tell Doc, but I just don't know... I feel like I want to keep this between us, for now at least." The more people that knew, the more people to dissapoint if it happened again.

"Then we won't tell anyone. Not even Doc."

"Are you sure about that?"

He looked at me.

"If I wasn't okay with not telling Doc, then I wouldn't say to you that I was, would I?"

He was right. He always told me the truth.

"No, you wouldn't. Could you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"Keep your eyes on the road," I smiled and he chuckled, but turned his head back to the road.

---

We had only been away for a few hours, and I assumed there would still be work to do when we got back. We had a ten minutes walk back before we were back in the caves, and we talked about things we couldn't talk about in the caves, since we slept in the game room.

We always talked about important things at night, before we fell asleep, but we couldn't do that for a few months. So the drive back, and our walk in the rain back, was spend that way.

This time, it was the pregnancy. How we felt about it, how we wished it would work out this time... things like that. I told Ian I was more happy this time, because the last time, in the beginning, I had been so nervous, not really knowing what I felt about it.

But this time I knew for sure, in my whole heart, that I longed for a baby.

The miscarriage had made me realize exactly how much I wanted to have a baby, now.

Ian told me the same thing. We were on the same page about this, and we felt the same way.

I was glad we did.

I stopped us right outside the entrance, and locked my arms around Ian's neck.

"I was thinking, and there is one thing we haven't done yet..."

"And what is that?"

"We... haven't kissed in the rain yet," I smiled, and Ian chuckled.

I didn't know why that was supposted to be so romantic, but I wanted to try.

The kiss in the rain was always there in the romantic movies, and stuff like that. It was our turn.

Ian's hands lingered on the small of my back, and slowly he leaned down only to gently press his lips against mine. As always when we kissed, my hands moved so that I could grip his hair.

His black hair was thick and wet from the rain, and it felt like he had just stepped out of the shower.

I loved it when his hair felt like this, it was more to take a grip on. I gripped my fingers tighter around his hair at the same moment the kiss deepened, and my mouth opened for his tounge to dart in.

I could feel the cold water on his lips, and his hands moved from the small of my back to cup my chin in one hand, and the other one still rested on my back, pulling me closer to him.

I couldn't explain why, but in a way this kiss was more romantic. And I would happily do it again.

But this kiss felt like more than just a kiss. It reminded me of the kiss right after I had told Ian I was pregnant the last time. This kiss wasn't just about us. It was more. It was about us – Me, Ian and the baby growing inside of me. It was for the future. It was everything.

When our lips broke apart, I was smiling.

"That, I would like to try one more time," Ian said, reading my mind.

I opened my eyes only to see his boring into mine.

But they weren't_ his_ eyes.

"So do I, but first – take those out," I said, and Ian sighted. He rolled his eyes and then gave me the box he would put the lenses in before he took one of the out.

It looked better, but there was still one eye that wasn't his, and I could feel the smile on my lips growing as he took the left one out.

"There, perfect," I said, and stroked him with my thumb under one of his eyes.

He took the box from my free hand, placed it in his pocket, and leaned down to give me another kiss.

I took his bottom lip inbetween mine, and sucked on it.

I stroked my tounge on his lip, and he left me an entrance. My hand left the side of his face at the same time his hand on my back pulled me closer. I locked my arms around his neck, and his hand cupped my face once again. This kiss was just as good as the last one, and it lasted just as long as the other one did. And when it lasted, my lips lingered against his, smiling.

"I love you," I whispered against them.

"I love you, b-" he started, but stopped talking at the same time my eyes flew open.

"Seriously?" Kyle was saying. "You leave for what, three hours? And then, when you get back, you make out and tell each other you love each other?" He seemed irritated, where he stood right in the opening, with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Kyle," Ian said, a weak tone irritation in his voice. He didn't like being interuppted any more than I did.

"Are you coming inside, or what? There is still work to do," Kyle said, before Ian had time to say anything more. Irritation was deep in his voice, and I didn't want the brothers to fight.

"Kyle, we'll be inside in two seconds," I said, looking at him. His lips pressed together, but he nodded and ducked back inside.

"You were saying?" I said to Ian, as soon as I was sure Kyle wasn't hearing us.

"That I love you, - both of you. That might sound strange, but it's true and I already love this baby."

It didn't sound strange at all, and I completly understood him. I had loved this baby since the second I found out I was pregnant again.

I shook my head.

"No, I can understand you so much. And it's not strange, because I feel the same way."

"You're going to make an amazing mother, Wanda. I know it."

"I don't know about that, but you, Ian, on the other hand..." I trailed off as his lips brushed against mine gently. I was going to tell him that if our baby felt half the love I feel from Ian every day, this baby was going to be happy. And get all the love it needed for a lifetime.

This baby was going to have two parents who loves him or she, and then we have Mel, Jamie, Kyle, Jared, Doc... everyone else in this caves who was going to love this baby just as much as Ian and I already were. I felt so lucky when I thought about our family, and that included more people than just Ian, me and the baby. I could really feel that I was supposted to be here with them. Earth was really my planet, and right now I felt more human than ever. And I didn't know if I would feel like a real soul again. I knew I was one, but I _felt_ human. If someone asked me, I would probably say I was human automaticly. Just as someone who lived with the bears would say that he was a Bear, or someone who lived with the flowers would say he was a Flower.

Human was me, I could feel it. I was supposted to end up in Mel's body, and we were supposted to go through everything we had been through. Because if we hadn't we wouldn't of been this close, and none of us would be happy with the love of our lifes.

"We better get inside," I said, and took his hand. He walked slowly, and it took us awhile before we heard voices. I stopped, took a deep breath to compose myself, and then we started walking again.

I was still unsure how I would be around Mel, now that Jared was going to propose.

I knew I wouldn't tell her about the pregnancy. And I knew it was harder the last time.

But this time I knew I had handled it well the last time, and I was nervous. So I knew I could be calm around her, and I would wait a few weeks to tell her. And anyone else for that matter.

Everyone was on the field, working hard, and I felt bad for leaving them. But then I thought of why we had left them, and I didn't feel quite as bad anymore.

"That was more than two seconds, Wanda," Kyle said, in a better mood already, as we walked up to his row on the field. It looked the same as we had left it, only that Jeb had taken Ian's place.

They were one short, and that was me. But I saw Jared a few metres away, and I should give him the ring as soon as possible.

"Ian? You can start working, and I'll be right back..." I said, and I sqeezed his hand before I dropped it. He could see that I was looking at Jared, and then Mel, so he knew what I was going to do.

"Don't let her know about it," he teased, and kissed me quickly.

I rolled my eyes, but knew he was right. How was the best way to give this to Jared without Mel knowing? I thought about it as I walked over to them.

"Where have you been?" Mel asked, a little distracted by her work.

"Jeb gave us a few hours break," I said, sticking to the truth.

"Where...-?" she started, but I interuppted her before she had the time to say anything else.

"Mel, you look thirsty. You should go get something to drink."

"I'm not, and I just finished my bottle."

Crap.

"Then would you mind getting me another bottle, honey?" I heard Jared say, and was relieved that he played along. Mel looked at his sweaty body, and decided he should really need some water.

He _did _look thirsty, actually.

"I'll be right back," she said, and then left.

Neither Jared or I said something for a few seconds, waiting for Mel to get out of hearing or seeing distance. When I was sure she wouldn't find out, I took out the black box from my pocket.

Jared quickly took it from my hand, and placed it in his pocket instead, without looking at it.

If he did, there was a chance Mel could get back and see it. And we didn't want that.

"Thank you, Wanda," Jared said, and with that I left him and walked back to Ian.

He was already working, coming into the old patterns, and I quickly followed him.

"Smart move, making Mel get water," he said, as he looked at Mel giving a bottle to Jared.

"I know," I said, smiling as I looked at them. They looked so perfect together, like nothing could break them apart. And I doubted something could. Together they had been through alot, and they had survived it even if they weren't always together.

'_Neither heaven nor hell can keep me apart from you, Melanie'_ I heard Jared's voice saying in one of Mel's memories, and I smiled even more. I couldn't wait for them being engaged, and then later married. They really deserved it, this life they were going to live.

I continued working, following Kyle and Ian's traces. Jodi was working behind me, and Jeb had left the row as soon as I had stepped back into it.

Maybe an half hour later Jeb called it for the day, and it was time for dinner.

Ian and I walked together with Kyle and Jodi, but as usual we took places with Mel, Jared and Jamie.

It was time for a raid in a week or so, so there wasn't much food that tasted good. But it was food, and it was edible. The water tasted as it always did, and the water always ran down quickly.

Especially on the days we had been on the field.

"So, Wanda, where were you on your break today? I didn't find you at lunch..." Mel said, and I spoke the truth. Well, not much, but Ian would just take over for me when he knew I couldn't say more.

"We were down at the hospital," I said, chewing my bread, hoping my very small lie wouldn't be noticed. But I could see Doc's head turning in our direction - he had heard me.

"Why?"

"I had a headache, and we walked down there to get some No Pain. But we didn't find Doc there, so we talked to Jeb, who gave us a few hours break and then we went to sit by the entrance."

"Why the entrance?" Mel asked Ian then. But at least she seemed to believe his words.

"The best air is there," Ian said easily.

But there was a gap in Ian's story, and Mel being Mel found it.

"But that doesn't explain why Wanda was with you."

"Yes, it does. Mel, you know me. Worried all the time," I tried to chuckle, to hide my almost lie.

She seemed to buy it, but Doc was still looking at me. Eying me suspisiously. Looking like he was trying to solve a hard puzzle. Would he figure it out? Doc was a smart man after all...

My guess was that he wouldn't be sure just by listening to this, and trying to figure it out.

So he would watch us, look for something. And when he found it, he would know the truth.

If he asked me, I wouldn't lie. I would tell him I was pregnant again. But if he didn't ask, then I would just follow our plan. And we would tell him in a couple of weeks, when we told everyone else.

He was probably going to be one of the first ones we told.

I knew Ian would want Doc to know, and honestly I did want him to know, too.

But both me and Ian felt like maybe it was better to not tell anyone right now.

Just let things happen if they happen, let life goes it own way and hope for the best.

-

It was still alot of noice in the game room, and Jeb wouldn't say anything for at least ten minutes.

But Ian and I was already in bed, me facing him and his arms holding me.

I couldn't stop thinking about my fears. I couldn't stop thinking of the chance of having another miscarriage. Maybe we weren't supposted to have a baby? Maybe not now, in this world.

I was so happy to be pregnant again, but the fears pulled me down to earth.

"I'm scared, Ian," I mumbled into his chest.

"I know," he answered me, murmuring in a soothing voice.

"I am, too," he said then. "But maybe the last child died because it was supposted to be born into..."

"A better world," I mumbled, finishing his sentance.

"I wasn't going to say that," he said and placed his finger under my chin, forcing me to look at him.

When his eyes were looking into mine, - his blue eyes glowing - he spoke again.

"Because as long as I'll have you with me, I'm going to be living in a perfect world." The intesity in his voice was easy to recognice, and I knew that he believed his own words. So much in fact that I started to believe them, too. I hugged him tighter, and snuggled closer into his chest.

"How can you be so strong?"

"I'm not. _You are._ But I know that you and I are suppose to have a child someday. Because you are too wonderful not to be a mother. You are amazing, Wanda, and you really deserves to have a baby in your life." His words were so wonderful that they made my eyes tear up, so I closed my eyes and pulled him closer.

"How can I ever deserve someone like you?" I asked myself, out loud.

Again, his finger pulled my chin up.

"You got that the wrong way, Wanda. It's me who don't deserve you."

"But you do," I told him, genlty pressing my lips against his.

"I love you," I whispered against them, and he told me the same time.

I rested my head against his chest again, not so scared anymore in the secure arms of Ian, and I fell asleep quickly.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23, and a whole bunch of them to go.  
As always, let me know what you think.**

It's been a week since I found out I was pregnant again, and it didn't seem like Doc had figured it out - at least he hadn't said anything about it if he had. Or anyone else for that matter. Of course, Ian and I only talked about it when we knew we were alone, and even then we used whispering voices.

It had also been a week since I gave Jared the ring, but there was no clue that he was going to ask her soon. If he wouldn't do it soon, I would have to talk to him about it.

Because I had difficulties being around Mel, knowing about it.

-

It was late afternoon when Mel came up to me.

We had just finished working for the day, and it was time for dinner soon.

I could see there was something wrong immidiatly, by the worried look on her face.

"Wanda, can I talk to you?" she said, and I nodded.

Ian exused himself, saying he had to talk to Kyle about something. Of course, that was a lie.

He just wanted to give me and Mel some private time.

I sat us on Ian's and my bed, in the otherwise empty game room.

She didn't say anything, just wore that worried expression. I really wanted to know what was wrong.

So I took her hand, and waited her out. She didn't say anything for several minutes.

"Mel, talk to me," I said, and she looked up at me. She looked like she was about to cry.

"It's Jared. He's been acting so strange, he's been so distant. He doesn't touch me the same way, doesn't look at me the same way. I mean, sure, we kiss and everything like that is normal. But it's just not the way it used to be. He's so distant, and I don't know what to do," she said, tears leaking over.

I moved closer to her, hating Jared for being suck a jerk. Wasn't it better if he just asked her?

"How long has he been like this?" I asked, softly, not wanting to upset her more.

"About a week. Wanda, what if he doesn't love me anymore?" she said then, sobbing.

I felt like crying, too, even though I knew that wasn't the case. Jared loved her very much.

I just wished he could show her that.

I opened my arms up to hug her, and her arms were around me, her head resting against my shoulder. I didn't like seeing Mel like this, she was always the strong one.

"Well, if he doesn't love you he's an idiot," I said determinated. He was an idiot, making Mel doubt his love for her.

"But I don't think that's it," I said then. I didn't know what Mel was talking about. He didn't look at her the same way? I could see him watching her when she didn't look. He looked like someone in love, but didn't have the guts to find out if his love loved him back. So stupid.

"What else could there be?" she sobbed, and I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell her the truth, even though I wanted to.

"I don't know. Maybe he's distant for some other reason. Mel, I'm sure he still loves you. I can feel it."

"You think?" she said then, pulling out of the hug to look at me, wiping her tears away.

I nodded at her, helping her with the tears.

"You know what? Wait a few more days, and if he still acts like this, talk to him," I said, and she nodded. But she wouldn't have to talk to him, because I would.

"He's a jerk for making you feel like this," I told her truthfully.

"I guess he is," she smiled a little, and then she wasn't able to hold her chuckle back.

I laughed with her, as she dried off more tears.

"Thank you, Wanda," she said, and hugged me again.

"You always knows what to say," she said then, and I had to laugh.

"You got that all wrong," I smiled, and pulled out of the hug.

"I should go wash myself off," she said then, and I agreed with her.

I followed her until we were going different ways, and then I turned right so that I was walking toward the kitchen. I could hear voices, and assumed dinner had started. I didn't know how long Mel and I had been talking, but guessed for at least an half an hour.

Ian and Kyle was the first people I saw, and I took my seat next to them. But just as I had sat down, I heard Jared from behind me.

"Wanda, have you seen Mel?" he asked, and I turned around. When I saw him anger flooded up.

I didn't really understand why I was angry, but it was probably because of the way he had been acting this last week. How could he make Mel believe he doesn't love her? Hurt her like this?

So I stood up again, and Ian looked at me. He clearly saw the anger on my face, which wasn't there often. Almost neaver, actually. But Ian saw it now, and looked up at me with questioning eyes.

"I'm fine," I told him, and walked over to Jared.

"Jared, can I talk to you?" My anger was heard in my voice, too, but nobody probably noticed since it was so rare.

"Yeah, sure," he said, happily.

"Not in here," I said then, and started to walk.

I didn't stop until I was sure no one would hear us.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" he asked me, not knowing about my angry feelings for him.

Seeing him, standing there right in front of me, not having a clue became to much.

I was already overwhelmed with all my feelings for the pregnancy, and then keeping secrets from everyone, especially Mel. It got to much, and I lifted my hand and slapped him.

It wasn't hard, but he felt it. Normally, voilence wasn't something I liked. But it seemed like that was what Jared needed to get something through his thick brain.

"Ow, what the hell was that for, Wanda?" he asked me, his voice raised.

"What do you think, Jared? What the hell are you doing? Why haven't you asked her yet?"

"I'm waiting for the perfect moment. Is that really worth a slap from you?" he said, a little amused.

I felt like hitting him again.

"Waiting for the perfect moment is wonderful, Jared, but not the way you're doing it!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I talked to Mel before. She said you've been distant, not yourself. She was crying. _Crying!_ Damn it, Jared, she thinks you doesn't love her anymore!" I almost screamed the last part, not really caring if anyone heard us right now.

My words made Jared's almost-smile disappear.

"What?" he asked, sadness in his voice.

"Yeah, you got her doubting your love for her. So do someting, find the right moment. And ask her, now! If you haven't made her believe you still love her by tomorrow, I will slap you again. Hard," I said and walked away, leaving Jared shocked in the corridor.

I was so mad at him, I hoped my slap would leave a red mark on his cheek.

I was still angry as I sat down next to Ian, a tray of food in my hands.

Mel was back, sitting opposite to Ian. She could clearly see my anger on my face, just like Ian could.

But she didn't say anything, just ate her food like I was.

A few moments later, I could see her dropping her chin, looking towards the entrance of the kitchen.

There walked Jared, a red mark on his cheek. I smiled smugly.

"You hit him!" she hissed under her breath, as Jared took food.

"He was being a jerk to you, of course I did," I said, knowing why she was so surprised.

I couldn't even let a man who tried to kill me die, but I slapped someone I know.

There was no point to deny it anymore, I was just as much human as Mel and Ian was.

That made me smile, but I quickly composed myself as Jared took the seat next to Mel.

He looked ashamed as he shot a quick glance at me, but didn't say anything.

Ian looked between the three of us – Jared ashamed, Mel looking sad, and me, who leaned into Ian's side, glaring at Jared. I leaned up a little bit, whispering to him.

"Come on," I said to him, and then looked at Jared again.

"Tomorrow," I reminded him, and then both Ian and I leaved the table, walking away from the kitchen, Ian's arm around my waist. We walked back to the game room, where we would be alone for at least an hour. On the way I told him about what Mel had said, and why I had hit Jared.

"I'm still shocked about the fact you hit him," he chuckled, and I shoved him lighty.

He didn't flinch, his walk steady.

"Can't of been hard, though," he laughed, and I shoved him again, this time harder and he moved a little bit. I laughed with him, as he wrapped his arms around my waist and then lifted me up. He threw me over his shoulder, holding my legs firmly with his strong arms.

"Ian, C'mon, let me down," I laughed, but he held me still.

"If you hold me like this, I can't kiss you," I said then, but his arms didn't move.

"Are you positive about that?" he teased, and I smiled.

"Absolutly," I said, sure I was wrong.

Ian moved me from his shoulder to his arms, holding me against his chest.

"And now?" he asked, and I smiled wider.

"It might be possible," I teased back, locking my arms around his neck.

"Let's try then," he said, and leaned down so that our lips were touching. He never stopped walking, his eyes closed and his lips on mine. I didn't care if he walked into something, as long as he kissed me I was perfectly fine.

---

Ian and I was alone in the kitchen, everyone walking back to work after lunch.

I had volunteered for kitchen duty today, and Ian had, too. I felt like I shouldn't take a day off this week, since we left a few hours last week. So Ian worked in the kitchen with me.

It was always almost nothing to do in the kitchen after lunch, so Ian and I talked instead.

We were safe in here, knowing where everyone else was, so we talked openly.

His arms were around me, and mine was around his waist. He was leaning against the work bench, his waist in the same level as the bench. We were done with the work, only a few more short, easy duties left that wouldn't take us long to do.

"I can't wait for this weeks to pass, so all the hiding is over," he murmured against my lips, in between the soft kisses he placed on my mouth.

"Speaking of, where is Mel and Jared?" I murmured back.

"I haven't seen them, maybe Jared finally asked her," I continued.

"Mmmh, guess you'll find out. Soon. Mel's coming, and she looks angry," he whispered, and I opened my eyes and turned around only to see Mel marsch into the kitchen.

"Wanderer!" she said, and she was angry, alright.

"How could you hide this from me!?" she continued, assuming I would know what she talked about.

And I did, even before I saw the ring on her finger. I smiled, not worried about her anger. It would be gone soon anyway.

"Because he told me, too... Now, how did he do it?" I asked her, and she stopped right infront of me, staring at me. At first my plan didn't seem to go so well, she continued staring at me.

I was hoping her anger would disappear when she realized she was too happy to be mad at me.

And after almost half a minute her anger flew away, and was replaced with overwhelming joy.

"I hate you for keeping this from me, but I can't be mad at you. And thank you for hitting him, or else I don't think he would of asked me yet." Her smile was to big for her face.

"Never mind, how did he do it?" I promted, wanting to know.

She smiled and hugged me, and I hugged her back.

Then she told me he had done it last night. He just did it, going down on one knee and all of that.

First he apologized for the way he'd been acting, asking for her forgivness.

He told her he did love her, very much, and then he dropped down in one knee and asked her.

"Congratulations," Ian said from behind me, and Mel looked at him like she just then realized he was there.

"He knew about it, too!" she gasped at me.

"Of course he did, I tell him everything and you know that," I told her, and she relaxed a little bit.

"Just one question, how did you know I was keeping it from you?" I asked her then, smiling.

"Oh, come on, who else would he tell? And besides, no one else could of get me this ring..." her smile grew wider, as did mine. She liked it.

"Actually, it was Ian who found it, I only picked it out," I said, and Mel's eyes grew wide.

"Did you just say Ian was the one who found it?"

"Yeah, didn't I tell you my birthday gift to him?" I asked her. I was sure I had told her.

But she shook her head, looking curious.

So I told her what I gave him, and she too thought it was a great idea and a perfect gift.

"Okay, back to me and Jared. What do you think about the way he proposed on? I think it was perfect, but you know, I need someone not as partial..."

I laughed at her worried expression, obviously fake. I knew she didn't really care if I thought it was good or not since she already thought it was perfect. But she wanted to know what I thought.

"Honestly I think he could of done it a better way..." I dragged out, my face serious and she looked worried. I hurried to tell her the truth.

"No, it was good. But I do know of one better proposal, although I might be a little biased about that one," I smiled, and Mel laughed. We hugged again, and then Mel had to go.

"We'll talk about this more soon, but I have to go tell Jamie," she said, jogging out of the kitchen with the hugest smile on her face.

Ian's arms suddenly snaked their way around my waist again, and I was a little taken aback.

I had completley forgotten about the fact that he was there, and I felt bad.

But at least now I could turn all my attention at him. So I turned around, looking at him, smiling.

He pushed me against the bench, lifting me up on it so that I was sitting down, and our faces was in the same height. I crossed my legs behind his back, holding him against me and locked my arms around his neck. His hands hang loosley around my back.

He slowly leaned his head in, and lingered his lips against mine.

But he didn't kiss me, like I thought he would.

"Hm, so that proposal you might be biased about... Do I know him?" he murmured and I smiled.

"No, I don't think so..." my lips moved over his as I spoke.

"What's his name? Because cleary he can teach me somethings."

"Oh no, there is nothing he can teach _you_," I teased and pressed my lips against his when he was about to say something else.

His lips moved with mine, his hands on my back tracing up. We hadn't really been this close for a week, because of the sleeping in the game room. We had never truly been alone like this.

But at the same time, this wasn't close at all. He didn't do the things I most wanted him to do, because those things would be very inappropriate if someone walked in.

I couldn't wait until the next raid we would go on, but that was at least a month left.

And the rainseason would end at the same time. And then, I would be able to tell Mel.

Five minutes ago, when she told me they were finally engaged I wanted to tell her so bad.

But I didn't, I kept my mouth shut and focused on her and Jared. I was so happy for them.

Ian's hand cupped my cheek, and my head started to spin from the kiss so I broke it, still letting my lips linger against his.

"Oh god, I can't wait until we're back in our room," I whispered and he placed a gentle kiss on my lips.

"All alone," he whispered back, and I smiled at just the thought of it.

"Well, you're not alone now, and don't you have work to do?" Our lips quickly broke apart when we heard Jared's voice from behind us. Beside him stood Kyle and Jamie.

"Oh god, kill me now," I muttered, ashamed of what they had seen, and could of seen if Jared hadn't said anything.

But Ian chuckled, and placed another kiss on my lips before he turned around.

"Well, our work is done. And don't _you _have work to do?" he asked them, clearly indicating that we should be alone in here. That we_ wanted_ to be alone in here.

I quicky jumped off the bench, and stood up beside Ian.

I looked at Jared. There was still a light red mark on his cheek. And I thought I didn't hit him hard.  
"I'm so sorry about that," I told him, and he chuckled.

"I deserved it, and if it wasn't for you slapping me, I probably shouldn't of asked her for another week. So thank you." I could see Kyle and Jamie's eyes grow wide when Jared mentioned I slapped him.

"Wha – What did you say?" Kyle asked chocked, and Ian and Jared laughed.

"Long story, and I'll tell you later," Jared said, looking at the two men – yes, _men_ – beside him.

Jamie was fifteen now, growing longer every day, and there wasn't many months left until march, when he would turn sixteen. He wasn't a boy anymore, like he poined out often.

"Still, sorry about that. And congratulations," I said, and walked up to him to give him a hug.

He hugged me back, saying 'thank you' again, as he did that.

"So, why are you in here?" I asked then, wanting to get rid of them and be alone with Ian again.

"We're just getting water, and Mel wanted you to know there is going to be a 'girls night' tonight," I groaned as Jared mentioned the girls night.

Since it was Mel's idea, it couldn't be good.

Ian chuckled at my response.

"Cant be worse than my bachelor party," he said, snaking his arms around me.

"Believe me, with Mel it can. But I doubt she'll make it worse than mine," I said, and laughed with him, leaning into his chest.

"Speaking of, Ian – I don't want Kyle _anywhere_ near planning my party," Jared said, and Kyle glared at him.

"Why not?"

"Seriously Kyle? You made us play truth or dare on Ian's! That's just... dorky." Jared laughed, along with Ian. Jamie shook his head.

"With a little alcohol in your system, it's fun. But you're boring, bro. I can't believe you didn't drink anything." Kyle said, looking at Ian.

I gasped. They had alcohol? I hoped no one was drunk, because Jamie near someone like that... I don't like it, and neither would Mel if she found out. And what if he drank something? I shuddered at the thought.

"One of us has to be responsible, right?" Ian asked his older brother, and Kyle snorted.

"Yeah, but how often do we have alcohol? Plus, it would of calmed your nerves..." this time Ian snorted, chuckling after.

"Seriously Kyle, you were more nervous than I was. And I was the one getting married!"

Kyle didn't have anything to say to his defense, and everyone but him laughed.

"We better get that water, and head back to the field," Kyle said, and they all walked out with bottles in their hands.

I turned around, facing Ian and wrapping my arms around his waist.

I looked up at him, and I could sense my worried expression.

"Jamie didn't drink, did he?" I asked Ian, and he shook his head.

"No, of course he didn't. Besides, none of us would of let him."

"Good," I said, relaxing a little bit. He was right, no one would of let him drink.

"So, you're more worried about Jamie than me?" he asked, a faked hurt tone in his voice and I smiled.

"I trust you to take care of yourself," I answered him truthfully at his non serious question.

"That's good to know," he answered me, smiling a lazy smile.

"So, where were we?" I asked him, and he leaned his head down and let his lips brush against mine.

"Right here, I think..." he murmured, and then he kissed me very inappropriate.


	24. Chapter 24

**Okay, so this chapter is more for fun. Not much is happening, except for the girls night.  
And you might find out some secrets about the charachters.**

After dinner we all gathered in the kitchen. And with all, I mean all the girls. Exept Maggie and Sharon and a few more who didn't have the time. It was sad that Sharon and Maggie wouldn't come, after all it was their relative who had just got engaged. I knew they didn't like either me or Sunny, but couldn't they put that aside for one night and be happy for Mel?

Either way, she didn't care tonight. She had accepted a long time ago that they wouldn't spend alot of time with her, because of me.

"Okay, sit," Mel demaned, and we all did, laughing at the same time.

"First of all, we're doing this night just to talk 'girl's talk' and play truth or dare... Well, only truth," Mel continued, smiling smugly.

I groaned. Well, it might be fun. Who knew?

Jodi chuckled, looking like she just remembered something.

"You know Kyle isn't supposted to be anywere near Jared's bachelorparty-plans, right?"

Oh, so she too knew about the truth or dare.

"What, why?" Mel asked, chuckling too.

"It's just so stupid really. Kyle made them play truth or dare on Ian's," I answered her, smiling broadly.

"Are you serious?" Sunny laughed, and both Jodi and I nodded.

"And you should of heard his defense," I laughed with everyone else.

This night was going to be fun after all.

"_'With a little alcohol in your system, it's fun'_ he said, and then argued with Ian because he didn't drink. Just so stupid," I said, and everyone laughed even more.

"Okay, let's start. I'll go first..." Mel said, looking thoughtful.

"Oh, yeah by the way. Wanda, you're not allowed to ask questions," Mel said, looking at me.

"What? Why? I wanna be mean and ask things… and you're right. My questions would be boring," I answered my own questions when I realized why she didn't want me asking things. I couldn't be mean, so truth or dare wasn't really something for me. But I was exited over to play my first game.

"OH, I got one!" Jodi said, looking at me.

"Oh dear god, do I wanna know?" I asked, a little afraid of her expression but I laughed at the same time. Just like everyone else.

"Okay, Wanda. This one is easy... You're body, before it became yours, how many men did she sleep with?" Okay, that one was easy. And not very embarrasing.

"You're right. Too easy."

"Then how many?"

"None."

"What, you're drop-dead gorgeous!" Lily said, and everyone seemed to agree with her.

"Why?" Sunny asked me, and yet again it was easy to answer.

"She searched for love, not body contact. And she didn't find any of them."

"That's pretty sad..." Lily mumbled, looking sad about it probably thinking about Wes.

"Let's go on... Wanda, again," Sunny, sitting next to Jodi said, "you've lived so many lifes, and that has to give a few shares of grief. -" Oh no... "- Which planet, and which life, did you grive most in?"

She didn't know, and I could feel my face falling. Mel and Jodi looked worried at me, - they both knew - and Mel was about to say something but I stopped her.

"No, Mel. It's okay." And it was. I felt like I could talk about it now that I was pregnant again, and again I couldn't wait to tell Mel.

"You sure?" she asked, a sad tone in her voice, and I nodded.

Everyone watched our exchange with curiousity in their eyes, and I couldn't blame them.

"The planet I've been grieving most on is Earth," I said, my voice sure and even.

"Because of the souls, Walt and... and Wes?" Lily asked carefully, hesitant when she talked about Wes. I could tell she missed him so much.

"No," I shook my head. "Sure, I miss them too. They were my friends. But Ian and I shared grief only a few months ago. We didn't tell many, just a few people. Remember when Ian and I was in our room for a few days?" I asked, looking around the circle. Everyone had sad faces, not knowing what to come, but guessing.

"I was eleven weeks pregnant when I had the miscarriage," I said, biting my lip.

It was harder to talk about then I thought it would be. But I knew that was just because of the people around me, all looking so sad.

It was quiet for a few seconds, before Sunny talked.

"Wanda, I'm so sorry... I shouldn't of..-"

"It's okay," I cut her off, giving her a small smile and hugging her back when she hugged me.

I got hugs from the rest too, all saying they were sorry for what had happen.

"Okay, we need to change the subject," Mel said, and I could see she was close to tears.

I smiled at her, and she smiled back. It was Lily's turn to ask a question. But Mel had something she needed to do first.

"Okay, remember Kyle said you needed alcohol in your system, when playing this game?"

Oh no, this couldn't be good.

Mel got up, and disappeared for a minute.

"Look what I found," she said happily, holding two bottles of whiskey and vodka in her hands.

Not good, not good at all.

"Lily, we need something to drink from," she said, while sitting down and Lily got glasses to everyone. I hoped no one saw the panic I was feeling when Mel poured whiskey in my glass.

I couldn't drink this, and how was I supposted to get out of it without telling the truth?

"I'll be right back," I said, standing up. I needed a plan.

"Where you going?" Mel asked me, and I lied, hoping she couldn't tell.

"Bathroom, be right back," I said, hurrying out from the kitchen.

I needed a plan, a lie that would work. And I can't lie. Crap, crap and crap again.

Okay, what would I tell them? I don't like the taste of alcohol? No, too many holes in that lie.

Not that _I_ had ever tasted alcohol, but my body liked it far too much, I rememberd from memories of her being drunk on nights like these.

I know! I can talk to Ian, he'll know what to do.

_But where is he?_ I thought, as I walked down the corridors, nervous.

It didn't take long for me to find him, though, talking to Jared and Kyle in the game room.

"Ian, I need help with something..." I mumbled, talking really fast because of my nervousness.

He eyed me, but got up and walked away from them, with me next to him.

"Okay, why are you nervous?" he asked me calmy, taking my hand when he stopped on the other side of the game room.

"We're playing Truth, without Dare. And Mel has... alcohol," I said, carefully.

"And I don't know what to say, because I can't drink it..." I continued, still just as careful. I didn't know if Jared and Kyle could hear us.

"Okay, what if I, Jared, Kyle and someone else comes crashing? And I can come up with a good lie to why you're not drinking..." he said, looking in my eyes.

My nervous face changed into one with a huge smile on, as I lifted my hand and pulled his head down so that I could kiss him. But it was just a quick one, since I had already been gone to long.

"I knew I loved you for some reason," I said and heard him chuckling as I walked away and back to the kitchen.

-

"That took you a long time," Mel said when I returned, and I tried to make my words sound like the truth.

"There was a few people in line. Okay, who's next?" I said, changing the subject.

"Me, actually," Mel said, looking at me. Not good.

"I know this, but no one else does. And it's not a mean question.. When and to who did you lose your virginity?" That was too easy, and she had something else planned. I knew it.

"Ian, our wedding night."

"You didn't do it before?" Heidi asked, a little surprised.

"No," I said, shaking my head.

"Okay, my turn. Wanda, Ian in bed, good or bad?" Oh, god, did Trudy just ask that?

The look on everyones faces, ready to laugh, and the crimson color on my face told me yes.

"You planned this!" I accused everyone, and Mel laughed nodding.

"So what if we did? Just answer the question."

_Oh, god, please let Ian and everyone come in right this second so they will forget this question. _

"God, I hate you all right now," I muttered, making everyone laugh again. I stalled for as long as I could, but it wasn't for long.

"Ian is... amazing," I mumbled, talking fast hoping they heard me.

"What did you say?" Jodi teased, and I glared at her.

"You heard me."

"No, sorry," Mel said, and I glared at her this time.

"Amazing," I said louder, and everyone had smiles on their faces. That's when I heard footsteps.

"We have nothing to do, so we're joing you," Jared said a second later, walking into the room and took a seat next to Mel and Ian scooped me up in his lap while I glared at him. Couldn't they of walked in a minute ago? Ian rasied one of his dark eyebrows and I looked around the room, ignoring his question.

Kyle sat with Jodi, Jared next to Mel with Brandt and Aaron beside them, and Andy with Paige in the outside of the circle.

Every girl in the room looked at me and Ian, and my crimson cheeks must have turned even darker.

"So, what's so amazing, Wanda?" Kyle asked, and Mel, Jodi, Sunny, Lily, Heidi, Trudy and Paige started to laugh. I didn't. It wasn't funny, and all I wanted was to dig a hole and hide in it.

I settled with hiding my very red face against Ian's shoulder.

"Oh god, kill me now," I mumbled, and Ian chuckled. He wouldn't if he knew what this was about.

"Okay, why is my wife so ashamed she can't look at anyone?" he asked, and I just felt like dying right there and then.

"We're playing Truth or dare, and Trudy asked a very _private_ question..." Mel said, and I glared at her.

"Mel, don't finish that sentance," I said, giving her the worst glare ever.

"But now you made me curious, and I want to know," Kyle said, and this time I glared at him making him chuckle.

"It's about Wanda... and Ian..." Mel started, but I cut her off.

"I'll tell them why you were a cheerleader!" I threathened, and she gasped.

"You wouldn't!"

"Try me."

She looked at me, thoughtful.

"You wouldn't."

"Okay, what is this about?" Jared asked, looking at Mel and me who was glaring at each other.

I got up from Ian's lap into a standing position when I saw the determination in Mel's eyes.

"I'll do it," I said, but she didn't believe me. She was calling my bluff.

"Lily's question was 'Ian in bed, good or bad?' And you heard her answer."

Everyone laughed, expept Ian who I heard mumble something about 'kill me', and I couldn't agree with him more. I can't believe she did. I would have to say it then. I didn't want to, but I would.

"Jared, the only reason she was a cheerleader was so impress a boy. A seventeen year old boy named Ian O'Shea." Mel gasped at me, flying up from her seat on the floor. The room went quiet.

"You didn't!"

"I did!"

"I can tell them something about you then... Let's see... Oh, yeah, you lied about your age when you were in Pet's body."

"Seriously Mel? Ian knew that already, and you know he did."

"Damn, you're right. Okay, this one then... Damn, he knows that one, too... Aha! No... God, do you have to tell him everything?" she asked me, and I laughed. She chuckled with me.

This was over for this time.

"Okay, let's back up to why you were a cheerleader... What?" Jared said, and I looked at him.

"He was on a vacation, his family knew her family. She thought he looked good. But she never even knew his name or talked to him," I said to him, and he relaxed.

"Wait, then how do you know it was him?" Kyle asked, and I sighted.

"Long story, and if it wouldn't of been for me we still wouldn't of known it was him."

"Okay, let's play another game," Mel said, and took a place in Jared's lap as I did the same with Ian.

His hands rested on my stomach, but it didn't look suspicious so I let them be there.

"Any suggestions?" she asked, and Kyle came with one.

"Okay, since I see a vodka bottle, let's play a game I haven't played since high school."

"Serioulsy, Kyle? I've Never...?" Ian asked, knowing his brother all too well.

"It's fun," Kyle said.

"It's a good idea," Jodi and Paige agreed. Okay, this couldn't be good since it was a drinking game.

I looked at Ian, who looked thoughtful, probably trying to figure out something to say.

"I'm gonna skip this one," I said, beating him.

"Why?" Mel said, looking dissapointed. Her puppy eyes wouldn't work on me this time.

"I just don't feel like playing," I said, telling the truth.

She bought it, and looked around the room.

Trudy and Lily was pouring up the vodka in glasses for everyone, and those who still had whiskey took that. So automaticly Ian took my glass of whiskey.

"Okay, I'm first, since it was my idea," Kyle said, and we laughed at his enthusiasm.

"Okay, I'm starting with an easy one.. I've never married someone," he said then, looking straight at Ian who drank. The smug smile on his face told me he wanted to see his younger brother drunk.

"Okay, I've never lied about my age to get into a bar. Only to get caught, and throwned out," Ian said, and Kyle drank.

"Kyle, want to defend yourself?" Jodi laughed, and he muttered.

"I lied and said I was twenty one, although I was only twenty," he said, and Ian laughed.

"The day before your birthday. You could of just waited," he said, and everyone else laughed at that.

"Okay, I've never had sex with anyone while there was someone else in the room," he said, looking around himself. So did I, and saw that both Jared and Mel drank.

"Who?" I wanted to know, this was something she hadn't told me before.

"It was our first night back together, and the kisses lead to the other," she said, and I gasped.

I realized who it was the second she said it had been their first night together.

"He was asleep, and you know how he is then!" she defended herself, and I chuckled.

"Let's hope for his own sake he didn't hear his sister do it with her boyfriend," I said, and many in the room laughed, thinking about the scars he would have for life.

"Okay, let's change the subject... I've never slept with someone I don't love," Jared said and Ian, Kyle and Heidi took drinks.

"Okay, explanation for all of you," Aaron, said, looking at Heidi first.

"Yeah, I was desperate and he was cute," she said, and we laughed with her.

Kyle was next to explain.

"I was young, and wanted to loose my virginity. We broke up two days after."

Everyone's eyes turned to Ian then, but he only looked at me. I already knew this, but for some reason he felt like he should explain it to me.

"I dated someone for a year when I was eightteen. I thought I loved her, but it turns out I didn't after all. It was just imagination, I guess you can call it."

"When did you realize you didn't love her?" Paige asked, and Ian looked at her.

"A part of me always told me I could get more, and the second I realized I hadn't been in love with her was the same second I fell in love with Wanda," he said, his voice sure. He looked down on me again, and his eyes burned with emotion. The room was very quiet as I looked into them.

"I love you, too," I said queitly, but since the room was silent everyone heard me.

Ian's arms over my stomach tightened a little, and I knew that he talked about me and the baby when he spoke, just as quiet as I had.

"I love you more," he said, and leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my lips. I only deepened it a little, wanting to do it more but knew I shouldn't since we were in a room full of people.

"Impossible," I whispered back as our lips broke apart.

I heard several 'aw' from the room, only from the girls, but Mel was the only one who spoke.

"Seriously, stop or I'm going to cry." I laughed, and broke my gaze with Ian, looking around the room instead.

"I've never had sex with some one more than two times a day," Heidi said, and Ian raised his glass again. He took one big gulp from his whiskey, and I smiled a little embarrassed.

"You better drink for me too," I said, and Ian took another gulp.

"When?" Heidi asked when Ian put the glass on the ground again.

Ian and I shared a glance that everyone understood.

"Oh, okay, when was the last time then?" Kyle teased his brother, and Ian didn't have to think about it before he answered.

"Nine weeks ago," he said, leaving everyone to figure out what happened nine weeks ago.

I knew, but when he said it like that I had to think. Ian seemed to think, too. And we figured it out at the same time. Ian's birtday was nine weeks ago, and I was nine weeks pregnant. Was that possible?

We had only stopped using the birth control a week before. And maybe it wasn't just the day of his 27th birthday I had gotten pregnant, but I'd like to think so. At least it was the same week.

I got up, and pulled Ian with me. Why hadn't I thought of this before?

"We'll be right back," I said, and lead him out of the kitchen, stopping right outside.

I leaned against the wall, and Ian stood close to me, his hands twisting with mine.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" I whispered, since everyone in the kitchen could hear us otherwise. Ian nodded, smiling, leaning down and placed a kiss on my lips.

"Best birthday gift ever," he whispered back, tracing his hands over my stomach.

"We don't know if it was the same day," I said, kissing him between my words.

"I don't care, still best birthday gift ever," he answered me, and then he lead me back into the kitchen, taking a seat in the ground with me in his lap again.

I could see Aaron drinking, even though I didn't know why. And then he said his I've never.

"I've never thought a pregnant woman is sexy," he said, and the eyes of those who knew turned to me. I didn't care about their eyes, instead I looked into Ian's wary, sad, careful and hesitant eyes.

I smiled at him, turning around as much as I could in his lap and locked my arms behind his neck, twirling his hair with my fingers.

"Drink, I know you want too," I said, and he leaned his forehead against mine. I could sense eyes on us, but I didn't bother to care about them.

"Wanda," he whispered, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Ian, don't think about that time, think about _this_ time," I whispered back, as quietly as I could in his ear. I doubted he heard me, but he did. I leaned out so that I could look into his eyes again.

"You sure?" he asked me, and I smiled at him.

"Drink, or I will," I chuckled and then turned around so that I was looking forward again.

I saw that both Kyle and Jared raised their glasses when Ian did.

Aaron looked at both of them, since they sat the closest to him.

"Serioulsy, a fat, pregnant lady? _Sexy?"_ he asked, doubtful.

"They're not fat." Kyle said, and Jared continued.

"There is a baby growing inside them, and they're ready to do anything for that baby. I think that's strong, and being strong is sexy," he said, but didn't look at me. Neither did Kyle. But Ian did, and Aaron looked at Ian.

"Ian, how can you think it's sexy?"

"They are definatly not fat, that's a life growing inside them. And just like Jared said, mothers are strong, and willing to do everything for their baby. Yes, mothers are strong, but they are so much more than that. They love their child from the second they find out he or she exist, and that love is so amazing. They love someone with their whole being, someone that they haven't even met. And I think, loving someone like that, feeling the emotions you do in a pregnancy, it's so unselfish. And those qualities are more than sexy. They are admirable."

Ian looked at me the entire time, so he saw the tears that leaked over while he spoke, and he wiped them off with his thumb. Apparently it wasn't just me who was crying.

"Never thought of it that way, but seriously, they are just words so why are every single girl in this room crying?" Aaron said and I heard several chuckles from the room.

And when I looked around myself I saw that he was right. Mel and I was crying the most for Ian's words, since she had been there the entire time. She knew everything. Our feelings, why it happened… But the other girls had tears in their eyes, too.

They cried because my last pregnancy had gone so wrong, but I had accepted that a long time ago.

The reason I was crying was because of this one, the words Ian said to me made my heart grew bigger. He was going to be more than an amazing father, I knew it. I knew he felt the same things I do, and those feelings plus his instincts will make him the perfect father.

"Aaron, let's not ruin this night by telling that," Mel said, and then Jeb entered the room.

"I don't want to know why you're in here, but the light's are out in ten," he said, and then left us.

A few chuckled, but everyone got up from the ground, walking to the game room to sleep for the night. Ian and I walked almost last, with just Kyle and Jodi behind us. We walked slowly, Ian's fingers twisting with my own.

"Amazing, huh?" he said, and I shoved him lightly, before I laughed and wrapped my arm around his waist. He pulled me a little closer, and our steps slowed even more.

"You know you're more than amazing Ian. You're everything," I said seriously, talking not just about him in bed.

"You're always everything. Everything you do is... I can't even describe how much I love you," I continued and he pulled me even closer and I leaned my head against his side.

Before Ian had the time to say something, Kyle and Jodi was walking beside us, Jodi on Ian's side and Kyle on mine. I felt like I had to tell him how much I appriciated what he and Jared did in there.

"Thank you, Kyle. For... you know," I said, and he looked at me, a small smile on his face.

"No problem, little sister," he said, and my smile grew wider. There was really no trace of the old Kyle in this one, and the Kyle who walked beside me was a good man. It felt good to be accepted by him, not only as his brothers wife, but as his little sister. Kyle was going to be an amazing uncle for this baby.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25, and I'm planning on at least seven more. Depends on how much fantasy I have writing this. **

**Anyway, starts with lemons, just so you know.**

**Long chapter waiting. And as always, let me know what you think. **

"Hello, I would like to have two rooms, please."

"Let's see what I can do," the woman behind the desk asked. She typed something on the keys, looking at the screen. I tried to focuse on her, and not on Ian beside me, only a mere inch from me.

I could feel him standing there, and I forced myself not to look at him.

Just thinking about the fact that Ian and I would be all alone soon, in a hotel room, made my breath speed, and I forced myself not to think about it. But how could I not?

"Yes, you are actually very lucky. We have two rooms left, both on the penthouse."

"We'll take them," I answered her smile, and she booked the room and gave me two keys.

Mel and Jared were waiting by the elevators, and we picked one that was empty. As soon as the doors closed I could feel him standing there beside me even more. I could hear every breath he took, I could picture the small but oh so sexy smile he was probably wearing. And I knew that if I looked at him, Jared and Mel would be very uncomfortable standing beside us.

It felt like hours later when the elevator doors opened on the penthouse, and we stepped outside and into our floor. I looked at the keys. 1212 and 1213. The rooms opposite to each other. I gave the key to room 1212 to Mel, and she eyed me.

"Why two rooms?" she asked, and I looked at her, raising an eyebrow.

"You can't do anything anyway, we're on our period, remember?" she said, and I felt a little smug.

Mm, she was right. _She_ couldn't do anything with Jared, but oh the things I could do with Ian.

"There are other things to do, Mel," I said simply, and she took the key from my hand, smiling. Probably thinking about what I had said.

I saw her unlock the door to their room, and close the door behind them.

That's the first time I let myself look at Ian for hours. He was thinking the same things I was, I could see that. The times I had let myself glance at him, only for half a second, he had looked like he had full control over himself. But now, when we were alone, I could see he was having just as much difficulties controlling himself as I did. In just a second I was pushed up against our door, and his lips attacked mine. It was like slow motion when he walked toward me. I could see every muscle work when he took the two small steps that was between us.

I let out a moan as soon as our lips met. We hadn't been this close for over a month. We hadn't been _alone _for over a month. His hands explored places they hadn't been for a month, just like mine explored every part of his body. A small part of me told me we needed to get inside our room, and that part took out the key and tried to unlock the door. But I didn't find the keyhole, so Ian took the key from me, and a second later we flew inside the room never breaking the kiss.

As Ian lead me inside, and closed the door with his foot, I was unbuckling his jeans. From the small part I saw of the room, I knew we wouldn't make it to the bed. I couldn't even _see _the bed.

Ian knew that, too, so again I was pressed against the wall. He was everywhere. His hands, his lips...

I couldn't breathe. I didn't _want_ to breathe. I felt like I was going to explode any second.

Every emotion we had kept hidden for this month was let out the second the kissed me in the hallway, and I nearly fell of the edge feeling him so close to me again after all this time.

I wanted so many things, pressed up against that wall, but I knew what I wanted most.

I wanted him closer. I wanted him inside me. I wanted to have raw, passionate, hot sex with him.

I wanted him to touch every part of me at the same time, I wanted him everywhere.

And he _was_ everywhere. My whole body was on fire, his lips was on fire against mine.

I pulled his shirt off, and let my hands trace over his bare chest.

His hands traced over my waist and up, taking my shirt with them. Both our shirts were off only a few minutes after we walked into the room.

I needed air, and broke the kiss. But his lips continued the kiss my skin.

My jaw, my throat, collar bones... All the parts he knew made me go crazy.

He murmured my name from time to time, just making me go even more crazy.

As I searched for my breath, Ian's hands found my jeans only to unbuckle them, and pull them off.

As soon as they were off, Ian's lips found mine again, and it was my turn to pull his jeans off.

I almost came again, when I felt how hard he was. I knew we wouldn't have time to take any more clothes off, so I jumped up and locked my legs around his waist.

His hands held me up right below my ass, and with my legs I pulled down his boxers as much as I could manage.

"Oh, god, Wanda," he moaned in my mouth, and I was closer than ever.

"Ian.. you have... no idea of how long... I've waited for this," I said, inbetween kisses and he moved closer. I could feel him between my thighs, and with one hand I moved my hipster so that he easily would be able to slide inside me. He teased me, hovered a few seconds right outside my entrance, and I growled at him.

"Ian..."

Then I could feel him inside me, we were so perfectly fitted together, and I came.

I didn't have to hold it in, and I could hear myself moaning his name loudly.

He pulled back, and slowly pushed his way back inside me a few times before he sped up, and my legs pulled him closer to me, deeper inside me.

He was getting closer with every thrust, just like I was, and I could feel him ramming harder into me.

The fingers on one of my hands pierced his back, while the others gripped his hair tighter.

"Come on, baby, cum..." he moaned against my shoulder, and as he did this I could feel myself falling of the edge again and I tightened around him. I could feel him cumming at the same time, and he moaned again, saying both my name and that he loved me.

"Oh, god, Iaaaan!" I cried out with pleasure, as his legs crumbled under us and we collapsed onto the soft carpet of the room. We laid there, our breaths uneven and both of us panting, trying to recover.

"We should probably take a shower, and sleep. We're going up early tomorrow, and I'm tired," I said, as our breaths were even again. Ian let out a small laugh, and then his lips found mine, placing a small chaste kiss on them.

---

"I'm sharing room with Mel tonight, I'm going to tell her," I told Ian as we were walking over to Mel and Jared, standing by the elevator. The raid for two weeks was over, and we would spend tonight at the hotel and go back home tomorrow. I was fifteen weeks pregnant now, and I still hadn't told Mel. It just felt like there had never been the right time, but I had promised myself I would tell her on the raid. And the raid was over. Which left me with telling her tonight.

Besides, I was showing now and it was really hard to hide it from her and Jared.

I wore too big shirts, and told them it was because it was cold outside. I can't belive they didn't hear the lie in my voice. I mean sure, it was late November, but still.

I had to tell her, and then we could tell the rest as soon as we were home again.

The hiding would be over, the secrets and lies would be over.

"You know that's going to leave us in the same bed, don't you?" he answered me, and I knew he was right. Mel and I could easily share the king sized bed, but Jared and Ian?

"You've done it once before," I reminded him, "and besides, you would easily win the fight over the bed or the couch," I said then, smiling at him.

"You have too much faith in me," he said, and pulled me closer.

"Well, if we're not sharing the suite, then I'll guess I have to do this now then," he murmured, and pulled me closer again, so that he could kiss me. He was just doing this to tease me, and it almost worked. But I told myself that when we would get back home tomorrow, we would have our room.

"Don't do that, you know I have to tell her," I whispered as our lips broke apart.

"But I wanted too, and it's not like I can do it with Jared," he said, and I laughed.

"C'mon," I took his hand, and we started walking again.

"What floor?" Jared asked as we all entered the empty elevator, and I told him it was the penthouse.

"Oh, I really liked that suite on the other hotel," Mel said dreamingly.

"You could really get spoiled living like that," Jared agreed.

"Mmmh," Ian said hurridly, even though be both knew we hadn't seen much of the suite.

"Mel, we're sharing tonight," I said then, to change the subject and I heard that Jared groaned.

"That's a great idea," Mel said, ignoring him. Jared groaned again.

"Jared, you and Ian are sharing tonight. End of discussion. I haven't had a real girlsnight with Wanda for long, and we need one," Mel said sharply, and Mel and I laughed at Ian's and Jared's expressions.

So I pulled Ian against the wall, and made sure I was as close to him as possible.

"I know you don't want to, but tomorrow we don't have to sneak around," I whispered quietly, and I knew no one else heard, or understood, as Mel and Jared we're talking too.

"Besides, Ian already agreed to this," I said louder as I gave Ian the other key.

"What?" Jared said, looking at Ian. He wasn't pleased. Mel and I both chuckled as we saw Jared's expression.

The elevator opened then, before anyone had the chance to say something, and Mel and I hurried into our room, leaving Ian and Jared alone.

The suite was beautiful. And big. First you walked into a livingroom of some sort, that had a sofa and a TV. Straight ahead there was a big balcony, and to the left there was a door into the bathroom.

Which had a huge bathtub, and a shower as well. To the right of the livingroom there was an opening into the bedroom, which was huge. There was a TV, a big bed and another balcony with french doors.

And the view was astonishing.

"Oh god, I have to be dreaming," Mel mumbled, and I laughed.

"You know what, I'm going to go take a bath in that_ huge_ bathtub, and then we can do all kinds of stuff," she said then, and walked straight into the bathroom before I could say anything.

But that was good. Now I had the time to think through how I was going to tell her.

The best would probably be to just tell her. _Mel, I'm pregnant._

No, there has got to be a better way. _Mel, you're going to be an aunt._

I would never come up with a good way just sitting here and thinking about it. I should probably just say something, something I didn't _plan_ to say. And then I can show her the picture from the ultrasound. Yes, I think I have it with me. Somewhere in my bag. That I share with Ian. And Ian has it in their room.

I found a phone in the livingroom, right next to the door and dialed the number to the reception.

"Hello?"

"Yes, hello, I would like to know the number to room 1018."

"Wait a second and we will connect you," the man answered, and then there was ringing tones.

I had to wait awhile before someone answered the phone.

"Yeah?" I heard Jared's voice say on the other end.

"Hi, Jared. Where is Ian?"

"Oh, hi Wanda. Eh, I think he's in the shower." Great.

"I'm comming over in two second," I said and hung up the phone.

"MEL, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!" I screamed and hoped she would hear over the running water. The bathtub has to be really big since the water had been running for about ten minutes now.

Then I took the key, walked out and closed the door and locked it behind me, and walked down the corridor until I found room 1018.

"Changed your mind?" Jared asked hopefully when he opened the door for me.

"Never," I answered him smiling and heard him groan again, before I walked to the bathroom and tried to door. It was open. I could see Ian's silhouette behind the glass of the shower, and I felt the urge to join him. There was steam on the glass, so it was hard to see him clearly, but he had his back toward me. I closed the door, locked it behind me and then I hopped onto the bench, sitting right next to the washbowl. I leaned against the mirror and watched him as he stood relaxed under the shower. I felt the urge to join him again, but I fighted it back.

Ian turned the water off a few minutes later, and the door opened. He wasn't surpried to see me.

"Is there a reason you've been sitting on that bench for the last five minutes?" he asked me, smiling a heartbreaking smile. I swollowed. Because that smile wasn't just beautiful, it was sexy as hell.

"Don't use that smile on me, O'Shea," I said and hopped down. I needed to get out of there, so that I couldn't see his wet, beautiful, muscular body. That smile. Those eyes, burning so beautifully as they looked into mine.

"I'm going to go now, and I'm taking our bag with me," I said and walked out of the room. I could hear Ian chuckling behind me and I could see Jared watching TV.

"Our... bag, do you know where it is?" I managed to say before Ian came out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel. My heart skipped a beat, and my breathing hitched.

"You know what, I'm gonna come back for that one later," I said and hurried out in the hallway again, and back to our room, trying to calm down. Why didn't I tell Mel a long time ago? Because if I had, I could do all the things I wanted to do to Ian right now. Maybe I could tell her tomorrow, when we got back? And that way I could be with Ian tonight. No, stop thinking like that. Mel and I are going to have fun tonight, and I'm going to tell her. I'm not going to think about Ian, and those eyes, and that smile, and th... I stopped my thinking right there, and searched for the key in my pocket. I didn't find it. I must have left it in their room. I walked as slowly as I could back, praying that Ian would wear clothes.

"Please wear clothes, please wear clothes, please, please, please," I mumbled as I knocked on the door. A few seconds later it opened and there Ian stood with jeans on, but no shirt. He held a key in his hand. I forced myself to look at the key.

"I think you might of forgotten something," he said, and held the key out. I took it, and he leaned down and took the bag, only to hold it out for me.

"And that one, too," he said, smiling.

I looked past him, into the room as I took the bag from his hands.

"I hate you right now," I muttered, heard him chuckle and then I left.

---

"Mel, can you come here a second," I said, sitting on the bed indian style, and watching Mel packing the last of her stuff.

"Wanda, we're supposted to be in their room in ten minutes and I'm not done," she said, packing down a pair of jeans in her bag.

"I'll help you pack, just come on," I said, and she groaned but did as I said. She seated herself oppossite to me, indian style, too. The picture in my back pocket felt heavier.

I hadn't told her last night after all. There wasn't the time. We had talked, watched a movie and then we were tired so we slept. So I was going to tell her now.

I took both of her hands in mine and looked her straight in the eyes.

"Mel, I have something I need to tell you." Wow, I sounded serious.

"And I don't want you to tell anyone, okay?" I said then, and she looked at me.

"Wanda, you're scaring me. What is this about?" she asked me.

"Just promise me."

"I'll promise. Now tell me."

I took a breath before I did so.

"Mel... I'm pregnant."

She didn't say anything, didn't react. Silence. She just stared into my eyes. She blinked.

"How... how long..?" she stuttered.

"Fifteen weeks."

Silence.

Then I could see a tear leak over.

"No, Mel, don't cry. Because if you cry, I will, too," I pleaded.

"You're going to be a mom?" she whispered, tears running down her cheeks.

I nodded, and took out the picture. I gave it to her.

"You're going to be an aunt, Mel," I said, and felt the tears running on me too.

"How long have you known?" she managed to say through all the tears.

"Seven weeks. And I've been so close to telling you every second we've been together during these weeks," I chuckled, answering her smile.

"I should hate you for not telling me, but I can't. You're going to me a mom," she beamed, and then her arms wrapped around me.

There we sat, smiling and crying.

For how long I didn't know, but it took awhile before we heard the door open.

None of us cared, knowing who it was.

So we still sat there, hugging and crying and smiling.

"Mel?" we heard Jared's voice say, a tone of worry in it.

"Jared, come on. I told you we should just wait for them," I heard Ian's voice then. Both voices was distant, and they were probably in the "livingroom".

Ian were trying to give us some private time. When I talked to him earlier I told him that I hadn't told Mel yet, and that I would today.

"But where are they? They should of been in our room twenty minutes ago," Jared's voice said, coming closer as he spoke.

"Trust me, Jared. They'll come soon. Let's go," Ian's voice said, and Mel pulled out of the hug.

"Ian, you're not going anywhere!" she said sharply, and right then Jared and Ian walked inside the bedroom.

Jared got worried by our tears, but Ian didn't. He knew why they were there, after all.

"Mel? Why are you crying?" Jared asked worridly, and Mel left the bed. I thought she would go to Jared, and so did he, but she walked past him and gave Ian a hug. He hugged her back, as Jared stood there confused.

"Mel?" he asked, and Mel left Ian's arms to look at him. Then she looked at me. And I knew what she wanted to do.

"Tell him. I'm going to go change," I said, and took a black tank top - that would show my small baby bump - and a tight, black cardigan, walking into the bathroom to change.

It felt good to finally be able to stop hiding in too big shirts, so I didn't buckle the buttons on the cardigan. I could finally show my small bump, and Ian and I wouldn't have to hide anymore.

I didn't change from my favorite pair of jeans. I loved wearing jeans, and I would as long as I could. Which would only be for a few more months.

Ian saw me first when I walked back into the bedroom, and came to meet me, wrapping his arms around me. He placed a kiss on my lips, not very deep but deep enough.

"You look amazing," he murmured against my lips, letting his hands trace over my stomach.

A shiver ran through my spine, and I smiled. Again, I couldn't wait to feel his hands on my stomach when the baby would be kicking.

It felt so good that he could do that in public, even if that public only was Mel and Jared right now.

I placed another kiss on Ian's lips, and then left his arms to pack down the shirt I had been wearing.

When I turned around Mel saw me for real for the first time in a few weeks.

"Wanda, you're showing," she whispered and started to cry again, walking to me and gave me a hug.

"Yeah, why do you think I've been wearing all those shirts?" I laughed, and so did she. I could see Jared looking at us over Mel's shoulder.

"I guess a congratulation are in order, I'm happy for you two," he said, and my smile grew wider.

"Thank you Jared." I could feel myself getting emotional again, and I didn't want to be.

"Let's go, because I don't want to cry again. And I'm going to cry later tonight, anyway."

"I'm still not packed, Wanda," Mel said, looking at me and then she started packing down the last of her things. So I walked over and helped her.

"What are you doing?" she asked me, and I raised an eyebrow.

"I promised you I would help you, didn't I?"

"That was when I didn't know you are pregnant. I'm doing this alone. Besides, it's just this left," she said, and snatched a pair of jeans and two shirts from my hand and packed it down.

"See, all done," she said then, and I sighed as we all walked out of the hotelroom.

---

I leaned into the back of the van, taking a box that Mel quickly took away from me the second she saw me carrying it. I groaned. That was the third box she didn't let me carry, and I was getting annoyed. Why wouldn't I be able to carry a light box? The guys always took the heavy ones anyway.

"Mel, give me the box," I said, and she shook her head. I leaned in and grabbed another one.

When Mel saw me carrying it, only a few meters away from the storage, she made an attempt to take it from me again.

"Melanie," I said sharply, and continued to walk.

"You shouldn't be,-" she started but thankfully Ian cut her off.

"Mel, that won't work. I've been trying to make her stop work at the fields since we found out," he said, and Mel let me take the box. Finally.

I knew my own limitations, and right now I had no new.

But I knew that in a few months Ian would get things the way he wanted them to be, because too many people would be working against me. And Doc would probably come up with some sort of medical reason for why I wouldn't be able to work. But I would work for as long as I could, even if that work was just standing in the kitchen and give a helping hand from time to time.

I wouldn't like it, but I wouldn't be able to do anything else.

Because I knew my body would have different limits then.

When I returned to the van, there was nothing left. I carried _one _box out of many, many more.

I groaned again.

"I can't believe it's dark already," Mel said thoughtfully after Jared had taken the van to return it.

"Mel, it's November. It get's dark at night in November."

"But still," she answered me.

"Yeah, maybe some people are asleep already. And then we'll have to tell them tomorrow," I said, knowing what it would do to Mel. She was more excited to tell people than Ian and I was.

I knew that the hard time had been telling Mel, because she mattered so much to me.

But there are still people who will be involved in this. Maybe more than they want to be.

And that's why we're not telling everyone. We'll just tell a few, and then they can spread it along.

"No, they'll be awake," she said, probably thinking of a plan to _keep_ them awake.

We would wait until Jared would get back, because then we'll have the time to unpack and get ready.

Mel started to walk inside, and I made an attempt to follow her but Ian stopped me.

"You might want to buckle that cardigan," he whispered in my ear as he snaked is arms around my waist, and I quickly did as he told me with Ian's helping hands.

What if I had walked in, baby bump showing? That wouldn't be good. Well, it would only destroy the surprise, but still...

"Thank you," I said, and Ian took my hand before we walked inside.

As we stepped into our room it turned out to be empty. No mattrasses.

We had expected someone to atleast carry the bed's inside, but no.

They hadn't helped Jared and Mel, either.

Turns out that was because eveyone had moved theit stuff back today. They hadn't had the time to do it before, even if the rain season had been over for over a week.

"Think of it this way; this will be the perfect time to tell Kyle," I said to Ian before he and Kyle dissappeared with our mattrasses. They would probably be gone for a while, so Mel and I walked to the kitchen that was crowded even at this time.

Jared came back before Ian and Kyle did, and when they entered the kitchen it was almost empty except for me, Mel, Jared, Jamie and Lily. Kyle shocked me with giving me a hug, whispering 'congratulations' in my ear. Well, that was a first. Mel raised an eyebrow at me, and I shook my shoulders, making us both laugh.

It was time, and it turns out Ian and Kyle had been telling people to come to the kitchen, so behind Ian and Kyle walked Paige, Andy, Jodi, Sunny, Trudy, Jeb and Doc. Our closest friends.

They hadn't told them why to come to the kitchen, and they were all curious.

They sat down - Doc, Jeb, Jodi and Kyle closest to our table who always looked the same with me, Ian, Mel, Jared and Jamie.

I looked around the room.

I saw the people who knew; Mel, Jared and Kyle – all smiling, knowing what to come.

There was Jodi, Sunny, Lily, Trudy, Jamie, Paige and Aaron – all looking confused.

And then there was Jeb, with his poker face, and Doc, trying to figure out what this was about.

I sat at the end of the table, with Ian beside me and Mel opposite to me. I layed my hand on Ian's knee, suddenly nervous, and one of his arms wrapped around my waist. I relaxed into his side.

"Okay, so, there is something we have to tell you," Ian said, seriuosly. I pinched his leg for being so serious, and I could see him smiling. I smiled, too.

"What do you want to tell us?" Jeb wondered, curious.

"Doc, I have a feeling you might of been expecting this," I said, emphasizing the word expecting, looking at Doc. It took him a second, but I could almost see the light turn on over his head when he figured it out.

"You're...?" he asked, unable to finish the sentance.

I nodded and smiled, watching Doc smile himself.

Jeb cleared his throat, making us know they were still waiting.

I shot a quick glance at Ian. This was it.

"Okay, some of you already know this," I said, glancing at Mel, Jared and Doc.

"Wanda, just do it," Mel complained, and I laughed at her.

"Okay then. I'm pregnant." I looked around the quiet room, and saw catious smiles on almost everyone. Especially on the girls, since they knew about my last pregnancy.

"How far..?" Sunny mumbled, looking at me.

"Fifteen weeks," I said, and the cautiousness vanished.

Jamie was first to hug me, but they all did.

There was congratulations from everywhere.

When Mel came up to me, to give me another hug, she looked... wary?

"Okay, Wanda, don't hate me..."

"Why would I hate you?"

"You're going to be a fat bridesmaid," she said, apologeticly.

"First of all, thank you," I said, and gave her a hug. Who cared if I was going to be a fat, pregnant bridesmaid. I was going to be her bridesmaid! She was getting married.

"Second of all, how fat?" I asked, and we both laughed. She knew what I really was asking.

"New years eve." A little over a month left.

"Hm, then I guess it's your fault if I can't fit in the dress," I smiled.

"As long as you're there, you can wear jeans and a shirt," she chuckled, and I too did that as I saw the picture in my head.

That's when I realized it. I was pregnant. New years eve was over a month away. I was going to be huge. Well, maybe not huge, but bigger.

"Wanda?" Mel asked as she saw the expression on my face.

"I just realized something."

"What?"

"You and I are the same size..."

"We knew that already."

"And Sunny is smaller than you are..."

"We knew that too. What's your point?"

"How am I supposed to get you a dress with this?" I asked, and pointed at my bump.

"Oh. Well, that changes things..."

We were quiet as we thought about it, hearing people talk around us.

It seemed like Jared, Jamie and Ian we're talking about the wedding, too.

My face lit up in a smile.

"You came up with something?" Mel asked, loking at me hopefully.

"Maybe. I'll be right back," I said, and walked up to Ian.

I locked my arms around his neck, and stood on my toes so that I could whisper in his ear.

I told him about our little problem, and about my solution.

"It's a great idea," he said, and placed a kiss on my lips.

"Are you sure? Is it okay with you?"

He looked at me, his eyes penetrating mine, and I knew it was.

I placed another kiss on his lips, and walked to Mel again.

"What was that about?" I heard Jared ask Ian, and I smiled.

"You'll see," Ian answered, and I could picture the smile he was wearing.

Without saying something, I took Mel's arm and lead her out of the kitchen.

"Where are we going?" she asked, but I didn't answer her.

She'll notice soon enough.

I open our doors, and led her inside the room where I placed her in the middle.

"Don't move."

"What are we doing in your room?" she asked, as I looked for the box. I knew where it was, so I didn't have to look for long. I took it gently and gave it to Mel.

Her expression was shocked.

"No, Wanda, I-I can't take this. I won't."

"Yes you will."

"No, it's your's."

"And I want you to have it."

"Wanda..."

"Mel, it's the only way. Take it. I want you to."

"Ian..."

"...is okay with it. I asked him."

"But Wanda..."

"Mel, you _will_ wear_ this _dress on new years eve, or no dress at all. You pick."

"If I'm going to wear this dress, then I want you to wear mine."

I sighed.

"Mel, it's going to be to small for me."

"No, because I'm a little taller than you, and it's loose fitting. It will be perfect."

"If I can wear it, I will," I promised and smiled.

"Good," she said, and gave me a loose hug.

"Now try it on," I said, and she smiled and opened the box. She was about to take the dress out, but then she remembered she was already wearing clothes. So first she took off her jeans and her shirt.

And then I gave her the dress, and she took it. She was careful when she placed it on, and before I had the chance to really look at her we heard voices.

"You - don't step out of that dress," I said and hurried for the door. I only opened it a little bit, and sneaked out, making sure Jared couldn't see inside.

"Hey, what are you three doing here?" I smiled, and looked at Jared, Jamie and Ian.

"We we're just walking by. What are you hiding in there?" Jared said, looking at me.

"Mel," I said, and smiled.

"He can't come in here!" Mel said loudly, and Jared frowned.

"Why not?"

"She doesn't want to see you right now. Jamie, come on," I said, and took his hand.

"Ian, make sure he doesn't come inside," I said then, and opened the door again, leading Jamie inside. When I was sure the door were closed, I looked at Mel. She was beautiful. More than beautiful. The dress fitted her perfectly, and even in this dim light you could see that.

"Well?" she asked, and I didn't know what to say.

"Wow, Mel..."

"Isn't that Wanda's dress?" Jamie said, looking at his sister.

"Yes it is, but she's forcing me to wear this one," Mel smiled, and then chuckled.

"So it's decided, you're wearing this one," I said, and Mel nodded.

"And you're going to squeeze into mine," she laughed, and so did I.

"You're beautiful," Jamie told his sister, and I nodded.

"She sure is, now c'mon, let's give her some privacy," I said, and lead Jamie outside again.

Jared and Ian were still outside.

"You didn't hear what we talked about, right?" I asked, a little worred. If Jared remembered how my dress looked like, he could easily picture Mel in it.

But he shook his head, and looked curious.

"Is there a reason you're still out here?" I asked, and took Ian's hand when he reached it out.

"Doc wanted to talk to you," he said, and I nodded. When Mel came over I had completly forgotten about Doc. And I wanted to talk to him, too.

I heard som noices from our room, and then Mel stepped outside wearing her normal clothes.

But she had pulled her hair into a bun in the middle of her head.

"What were you just doing?" Jared asked, and Mel laughed as she took his hand.

"You'll see."

"Can people stop saying that?" he said, and Mel and I laughed.

"Wanda, you got a dress to try."

"Mel, be serious. It's a month away, and I'm going to be bigger then. So we have to wait."

She pouted, but agreed unwillingly.

"Besides, Doc wanted to see me," I said, gave Ian a quick kiss and started to walk.


	26. Chapter 26

**As always, let me know what you think**

Healer Fords smiled at us.

"Everything is normal, and you're growing in a normal tact."

Ian's hand around mine tightened a little.

"You're going to have a..." a short break.

"A what?" Ian asked.

"I'm sorry, do you want to know the sex of the baby?" Fords asked, and I bit my lip.

Ian and I hadn't really talked about that. We just wanted to know everything was normal and perfect.

I looked at Ian, and noticed him looking at me.

"We don't know..." I said, and Fords nodded.

"Why don't I leave you alone for a few minutes, and you can discuss it?" he asked.

I nodded my head. "Thank you," I said, and Fords left us alone.

I sat up, and Ian placed himself inbetween my partly spreaded legs. His hands came around my waist, and rested on the small of my back.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"I don't know..." I said, honestly. I hadn't even thought much about if it was going to be a boy or a girl. And I didn't care.

"But I guess it would be fun to know. It would make things easier. With clothes and everything," I said, and Ian nodded.

"It certainly would. So you want to know?"

"I don't care. What do you think?"

"I don't care either. But you're right, it would make it much easier to get clothes and everything."

"So let's find out?" I bit my lip again, and stared into his blue eyes.

"Let's find out," he agreed smiling, and I returned his smile. He leaned down and gave me a gentle kiss.

When Healer Fords came back a few minutes later we told him we had decided that we wanted to know.

"Then I am happy to tell you that you're going to give birth to a baby girl in the end of april, around the 29th."

A girl. We're having a girl. A small, beautiful girl. To hold in my hands.

I felt the tears stung in my eyes, and fighted them.

I could see Ian smiling, and felt myself do the same time.

Fords told us some other things, and then asked us if we wanted a picture of the baby.

We said yes, of course.

He printed out a picture. It was what we had just seen, only know I knew it was a girl. _Our girl._

I fighted the tears again. It was ridiciolus, even if it was tears of joy.

He started to talk about coming in two times a month and do measures, and I hurried to interuppt him.

"We know a doctor who can do that," I said, and he smiled softly. There was no way I had the time to come to the hospital twice a month, and besides, Doc could do it.

"Okay, then. Here is the paper I want you to write on, and a tape measure," he said, and handed Ian some things. He told us some more stuff that we needed to know, and then we were ready to go.

We thanked him, and walked out of the hospital.

"Wow, a girl," I said, not fighting the tears anymore.

"Yeah, wow," he said silently, almost in a whisper, and pressed my body closer to his.

"What would you have hoped for?"

"To be honest? I hadn't really thought about it. But a girl is... – wow."

I laughed.

"I feel the same way," I said, as I climbed into the passenger seat of the Jeep.

---

We saw them before we even stopped the car, and Ian's face was twisted with both happiness and cautious. It was his sister after all, but there, standing next to her, was Burns.

Did he know that I was Wanderer – the soul he met over a year ago?

How much had Amanda told him? Told everyone else?

"Hey baby brother," Amanda smiled as she hugged her brother.

"Hey sis," he answered her, and I clearly saw the quick glance he shot at Burns.

So did Amanda.

"He wanted to come meet Wanda. Hi, Pet."

I relaxed as she called me Pet, and I could see that Ian did so as well.

"Hi, Amanda," I said, and Amanda opened her arms for a hug that I gladly gave her.

"You didn't say anything?" I whispered in her ear, and she slightly shook her head.

I let go of her, and Ian took my hand as we started to walk.

Amanda and Burns walked a few steps behind us, and we lead the way. I trusted Amanda, but I wasn't sure I trusted Burns. Yes, he seemed nice, but I didn't know him. Another sign that I was turning into such a human...

Amanda knew the way out and in of the caves, and yet she had come to the place where we has the cars. I knew she would have walked straight to the caves if she didn't have Burns with her.

"Should we… Do we want him to know the way?" I whispered quietly.

"Probably not. Do you have anything to blindfold him with?" Ian asked, and I nodded.

I did have a thicker cardigan on me, and I wouldn't freeze if I took it off. I did have a jacket on, too.

I begun to remove my jacket, but Ian stopped me.

"Wanda…"

"I won't freeze," I said, and continued. As soon as the jacket was off I felt the cold December air against my skin and I did freeze. I hurried to take my cardigan off, and pulled my jacket on again.

I gave the cardigan to Ian, who gave me a look that clearly said he didn't like this.

"I'm not freezing. Besides, we got something to tell your sister," I said, smiling as I said the last thing.

Ian wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close, hearing the small, small lie.

"You wanna do it?" he asked, knowing I would.

"Yes, but you should do it. She's your sister, Ian."

"And you're friends," he said, and I nodded. We hadn't met in almost a year, but we had become close during the weeks we spend together.

"If you want to, do it."

"Ian…" I started, but his arm left me and his walk slowed down.

"Amanda, she wanted to talk to you about something," he said, and I heard the smile in his voice.

"Burns, lets give them some private time," Ian said, and hurried their steps, leaving us behind them.

He smirked at me as he passed me.

"Wanted to talk to me?" Amanda asked as we walked slowly behind her brother.

"Thank you for not… you know."

"No problem. I didn't tell anyone. That's for you and everyone else to tell, if you wanted to."

It was quiet for a few seconds, and I heard Ian talking to Burns about something.

"That's not what you wanted to talk to me about, right?"

"No, not really. I actually think Ian should do this, but he wanted me to do it. And I don't really have a choice."

She laughed once, and slightly shook her head.

"You usually don't with him. God, that man can make you do anything."

She was right about that.

How would she take it? Would she take it good, bad?

I stopped my steps completely.

"Okey, something serious then," she said, her face becoming serious.

I took a deep breath.

"Ian and I recently came from the hospital," I started, and searched for the new picture in my pocket.

"What did they say?" she asked, a new tone of worry in her voice.

"Everything we wanted to hear," I said, and gave her the photo.

"I'm eighteen weeks pregnant, and everything is normal and perfect and you're having a niece in the end of April."

"A niece?" she repeated, a big smile playing on her lips. She was happy.

She handed me the photo back, as I nodded.

"She's going to have amazing parents, Wanda," she said, and then I was in her arms.

She hugged me tightly, and then we started to walk again.

"How did Kyle take it?" she asked.

"He told us not to put any new ideas in Jodi's head, but he's glad. I finally feel like he's accepting me. He probably would of a lot sooner if I wasn't a soul, but it feels good that he finally did."

"Hey – listen to me. He accepted you long ago, okay? It's just… he's Kyle, and he's never been good at this kind of stuff, you know. It took him forever to accept Ethan," – her voice became sadder as she spoke of Ethan, -"but then they became best friends. So don't talk like that."

"No chance we're going to be best friends, but he did call me his sister," I smiled, and so did she.

"See? Accepted by my thick-headed brother. Now C'mon," she said, and paced up until we were almost running. We we're now several hundred metres behind Ian and Burns, but it didn't take long for us to reach them. She jumped up on Ian's back, hugging him.

"I can't believe it, my baby brother is going to be a father," I heard her saying, but for some reason I couldn't explain I looked at Burns. It was hard to see what he thought about it, but for a short second I could have sworn I saw betrayal, hurt and anger twist in his face. But why would he feel those things? It was ridiculous, and I shoved it away.

Ian spun around once, and then Amanda hopped down, walking between Ian and Burns.

Ian placed his arm back around me, and pulled me close again. I leaned my head against his side as we walked.

-

"See you soon," I said to Ian – he knew what I had to do – and hurried down the corridors.

Burns was still wearing the blindfold, and I knew Ian would take it off soon.

But I had to make sure no one would call me Wanda, they needed to know I was Pet for a while.

I looked in the kitchen first, and I was lucky. It was time for dinner, and almost every one had squeezed inside the warm kitchen. Everyone was eating, or about to eat.

"Wanda, how did it go?" Doc was first to spot me.

"No, no. Not Wanda – Pet."

Everyone looked at me confused and I hurried to explain.

"Amanda and Burns are here, and Burns doesn't really know about… well, me. So my name is Pet, for a while at least."

"Oh, well then, _Pet,_ how did it go?" Doc repeated the question.

I sat down beside him, and gave him the picture of my daughter.

"Everything is normal and I'm going to need your help in the end of April. And to do some measurements every other week. " Mel came to sit beside me as I spoke and Doc gave her the picture, nodding.

"Wow…" she whispered, not knowing what to say. I smiled, and she gave me the photo back, giving me a hug as she did so.

"Are you sure you want me? You can easily go to a real..."

"Doc, you're going to deliver my baby. I want you to." I knew he could do it, and I trusted him completly.

"Well, if you're sure.."

"I am," I told Doc, and then I stood up and walked over to Kyle, standing at the counter next to Jodi.

I heard footsteps coming closer, and hopped onto the counter.

"So, Kyle, want to see a picture of your niece?"

"Niece, huh?" he looked at me, a small smile, and then Ian, Amanda and Burns entered.

"What's going on?" Ian asked, standing beside me, placing his hand on my knee.

"Not much, we're just talking about my niece," Kyle answered with a real smile on his lips now.

I could feel eyes on us, and looked around the room. Maggie, Sharon and Burns.

Maggie and Sharon looked away as soon as they saw me looking at them, but Burns didn't.

He just stood there, frozen in the entrance to the kitchen, looking at us. I felt a little uncomfortable, and focused on the conversation going on around me.

"So, how you been sis?"

"I've been good. Although, I did miss my best friend," Amanda said, and hugged Jodi. Both of them were laughing. My stomach twisted with hunger, and I jumped down from the counter to get something to eat. As I had taken food I jumped onto the counter again, holding my bowl of soup in my hand as I ate. I was hungrier that I thought I was, but I wasn't surprised and Ian chuckled low when I took another bowl and gave half of it to him.

"Yes, I'm hungry but I'm not two-bowls-of-soup-hungry," I said, and Amanda chuckled with Ian.

But Ian ate the rest, and took a bowl of his own after.

The pregnancy had made me hungrier, and I wondered _how_ hungry I would be in the end when the baby was bigger. I relaxed against Ian. There was no more work to do; everything had been done before dinner. It had been a long day, and now as I relaxed beside Ian I was surprised by the fact that I was tired already. I also had a small head ache, but nothing that disturbed me.

It was too early to go to bed, so I fought my tiredness and stayed.

There was a big discussion about the fact that we would have to do a new raid in about a week.

The last raid was three weeks ago, and that one was short. So we needed to do a long one, and we would be gone for at least a month. Everyone was involved in the discussion, besides Burns, Amanda and me. I was too tired to talk, but I listened. There would be Mel and Jared, as usual, but Ian and I wouldn't follow this time. We had agreed after the last raid that I would skip this one, and Sunny would hop in instead of me. Now they were discussing who would be the substitute for Ian.

It looked like Jeb himself would follow.

But then there was another small problem – Mel and Jared's wedding was in three weeks and it would be hard to do a long raid. So they also discussed if there would be two short one's.

Amanda would sleep in our room, and she would take the other mattress that we never used.

Burns we're going to take the hospital, and Doc we're sleeping there as well. Even if Nate's group trusted him, we didn't. Not yet.

"Hey," Ian said quietly to me, and I turned my head to look at him.

"Go to bed," he whispered, and I shook my head.

"It's just a few hours left, and I'm not that tired."

"Stop being so stubborn and go to bed. You're tired, so sleep."

I just looked at him. He would win this one.

I leaned my forehead against his, and sighed.

"I'll come to bed as soon as this discussion is over," he said, and I nodded and placed a kiss on his lips. Then I jumped down from the counter I was still sitting on, and walked over to Mel.

"Hey, see you tomorrow," I whispered in her ear, and she looked at me concerned. We we're supposted to talk more before we went to sleep, mostly about the baby and the wedding.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just tired," I answered, and gave her a gentle hug before I walked out of the kitchen.

Burns met my eyes as I walked pass him, still standing in the kitchen door.

There was something there again, although I couldn't place the emotion in them.

So I ignored it, and continued walking.

I could feel a small ache in my body as I walked, but I guessed it was just from sitting still so long.

It took me no longer than usual to reach our room, and well there I closed the doors behind me and changed from my jeans and shirt to a comfortable over sized grey t-shirt. I was freezing now, standing in just the shirt, so I hurried to put on my pyjama pants and get under the covers so that I could relax. It was still a little cold, but I knew that as soon as Ian would come it would be warm. I relaxed more, and it didn't take long before I fell asleep.

-

When I woke up I was freezing so much that I was shaking, and my whole body was aching.

I groaned, and turned around; creeping closer against Ian's sleeping form. My arm around his waist pulled me even closer, and I burrowed my head against his chest.

I was so cold, and not even Ian's warm body helped.

I didn't mean to wake him up, but when I once again snuggled closer his loose arm tightened around my waist.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I whispered. It was hard to speak since I was freezing so much.

"Wanda, you're burning," he said, moving his hand from my back and up to my face. His hand traced over my cheek, and then moved down to my back again.

I opened my eyes, and saw that it was starting to get light in the room. It was morning.

I closed them again, holding Ian tighter. No matter what he said, I was cold and I was freezing.

And I wanted him closer, wanted him to warm me. But he leaned away, and I tried to come closer.

When he didn't let me in full way, I tried another way.

"I'm cold," my voice was weaker than I thought it would.

But my pleadings didn't work. Instead, Ian left the bed and I froze even more.

I heard weak noices, and it took a few seconds before he said anything.

"I know, c'mon," he said, and in a swift move he was holding me in his arms.

I could feel him moving under me, but I didn't have the strength to care why.

I felt close to sleep again, even though I was so cold, and I tried to relax which was hard.

I could make out voices now, but I didn't know who they belonged to.

But the distant voices were enough for my head to throb hard and loud.

The voices came closer, but I still didn't know who they belonged to.

"Ian? Wanda?" the voice belonged to a man.

"What's wrong with her?" This time it was a woman.

"She has a high fever, where's Doc?" This voice I knew. Ian.

I tried to open my eyes to see who he was talking to, but my eyelids were so heavy.

I didn't hear the response to Ian's question as I was surrounded by sleep and everything went black.

---

When I woke up I found myself lying on one of the uncomfortable cots in the hospital.

I could feel something against my left arm... It felt like Ian's face?

I opened my eyes and found it very light in the room. It was day. Maybe noon.

I looked around and found Doc sitting at his desk. The desk wasn't far away. A few metres, maybe.

I turned my head and found Ian sitting on something that looked like a chair, leaning his head against my arm. He was asleep.

I smiled at the picture before me. He looked so peaceful...

I was still a little cold, not so much that I was freezing, though. But my body was still aching.

I looked over at Doc again. I wanted to ask him what I was doing here, but I didn't want to wake Ian.

Although, there is hard waking him...

"Doc?" I asked, as high as I could without risking to wake him up.

Doc's head popped up.

"Oh, Wanda, you're awake," he said, looking quite relieved.

"What am I doing here?" I asked.

"When Ian found me, carrying you, you had a high fever. But you we're asleep. I gave you some Cool, and the fever sank immidiatly. But it seems like half the people in this place has the same thing as you do," he sighed at the end.

"Everyone's sick?"

"Yes, the virus has probably been going around for a few weeks..."

"Who else is sick?"

"Many, and more is probably going to be," he said, and sighed again.

That's when Ian woke up.

"Hey," he said, and I lowered my eyes to meet his.

"How are you?" he asked, before I had the time to say something.

"Fine..." Ian gave me a look that clearly said 'Don't lie to me'.

"Fine, I'm not. At least I'm not freezing anymore," I sighed.

His eyes wanted more information. I sighed again.

"My body is aching, and no, I'm not taking any No Pain."

Ian gave me a dissaproving look, but gave in.

"Fine."

"Good. How long was I down?"

"A few hours, maybe," he said and I nodded. I felt rested.

"You know I hate this cots, and you won't let me work today, so can we go back to our room?" I asked, and Ian chuckled.

"You're right about that. And yes, we can," he said, and got up and lifted me up in his arms again.


	27. Chapter 27

**As always, let me know what you think (:**

Doc had been right. Almost everyone was sick, there was just a few lucky one's who wasn't.

That included Ian, Jared, Sunny, Aaron, Jeb and Doc.

And luckily Amanda and Burns hadn't gotten sick.

Ian told me this happen once every year, and when I pointed out it hadn't happened last year he told me it was a lucky shot. Doc and Jeb told me the same thing.

There was a few more who was still healthy, and Jeb needed them out on the field.

So it was without hesitation that I told Ian he should follow on the raid that needed to be done.

He didn't want to leave me.

"Ian, it's just for about a week. You'll be back soon, and as long as you're wearing the lenses you'll be fine."

"You're still sick."

"Barely. But if it wasn't for this minor fever, I would be on that raid, and you know it. They need you."

It was true, they needed him. Sunny and Jared wouldn't be able to handle it alone, so they needed Ian's arms.

Ian gave me a look that said he didn't like this.

"I'll be fine. I'll have Mel, and Jamie, and Amanda. You know what? I'll make you a deal... If you promise to worry about me, I'll promise to worry about you?" I tried to joke it off, but the truth was that I would try everything because they needed him on the raid. And even though Ian would be wearing the contacts, I would worry. Of course I would.

Ian let out a sigh. "You're gonna kick me out on that raid, right?"

"You're damn right I am," I said, and chuckled.

"Okay, fine. I'll go. Just promise me something..."

"Anything."

"Make sure you're okay when I come back."

"Promise," I promised him. "As long as you'll promise the same thing."

"Promise," he said, and leaned down to place a small kiss on my lips.

"No, I'm still sick," I protested, but he didn't care.

"I'm going on a raid for over a week. And every day on that raid I won't be able to see you. You've been sick for a week, and you've almost hit me everytime I've tried to kiss you. Don't you think I deserve a kiss?" he said, and I laughed.

"I'll miss you, too," I said, and he sighed again.

"No kiss?"

"No kiss," I said and shook my head.

"Just now that I won't wake you in the morning, so this is your last chance."

"Nice try, O'Shea," I laughed and turned around.

"Now you better go tell Jared you're coming with them," I said, and felt Ian leaving the bed.

The door opened, and closed behind him.

"Night, Wanda," I heard Amanda say. She had been very quiet during mine and Ian's conversation, and I had almost forgotten that she was across the other side of the room.

"Night, Amanda," I answered her and closed my eyes.

Ian was back in no time, placing his arms around my waist, placing one of his cheeks against mine.

He tried for another kiss.

"Ian..." I whispered, and he placed the kiss on the side of my mouth instead.

"Love you," he whispered.

"Love you, too," I whispered back, and was asleep in seconds.

---

When I woke up the room was very quiet and very dark. It was early morning.

The bed felt very lonley. Had Ian already left? I searched the bed and found it empty. But it was still warm.

I heard the door close quietly, and knew he hadn't left just yet. I felt I should at least say goodbye.

I was forcing him to do this, after all. And I wanted a goodbye. We didn't have a proper one last night.

I hurried for the door, and didn't care about putting shoes on. The ground was cold, and I had to feel with my feet where I was going. It wasn't exactly safe to go without shoes...

I closed the door just as quietly as Ian had, careful not to wake Amanda.

I looked in the right direction, and saw three dark figures standing outside Jared and Mel's room.

I walked over there, having to drag my pyjamapants up since they were so long.

Ian was startled when I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind. He turned around, and looked down at me.

"Hey," I said.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a soft voice.

"The bed was lonley, and I wanted to say goodbye," I told him.

"Barefoot?" he asked, raising one of his eyebrows.

"I didn't know how far you've gotten, and I didn't have the time to look for my shoes."

Ian chuckled once, and then wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up so that my feet were barely touching ground.

"I can't believe I'm making you do this. I'll miss you like crazy," I said, and looked him in the eyes.

"I'll miss you, too. But every day were apart is only one less day until we will see each other again."

"You know what? That deserves a kiss," I said, and pressed my lips against his softly.

"I thought you were sick," he whispered against my lips.

"Yeah, but if you're sick, too, you'll have to come home sooner."

Ian chuckled again, and his lips came down on mine one more time. A little harder this time.

"Love you," I said.

"Love you, too. Both of you," he whispered back and let me down so that I touched the ground again.

"Ian, we better go," Jared said, and Ian nodded.

"Bye," I said.

"Bye," he told me, and dropped my hand. Jared and Ian started to walk at the same time.

Mel and I stood there and watched our men go away.

"If he doesn't come back in time for he wedding, he is so dead," Mel said, and I chuckled.

She sounded like I had a couple of days ago. Her voice was barely a whisper, and I knew it had to hurt when she talked.

"C'mon," I said, and together we walked into their room.

A silent agreement was made that we would sleep together every night of the raid so that we wouldn't sleep alone.

---

The days passed slowly, and so did the nights. But they did pass – the days turning into nights, and the nights turning into mornings.

At least on the days, I was busy and couldn't really think about the fact that I hadn't Ian with me.

The nights were worse. Mel and I always talked, and Amanda was often a part of the conversations.

We all slept in our room, and Mel and Jared's room had been empty since they left for the raid.

But even if I missed Ian, he was right. Every day we were apart was one less day until we would see each other again. I tried to think like that.

Mel wanted Amanda on the wedding, only a week away now, so they would stay for a few weeks more. It was nice having Amanda around.

Burns and I hadn't talked much – mostly because I had a strange feeling about him. I didn't know if I could trust him enough to_ talk_ to him.

Christmas eve was tomorrow, and that also meant Ian, Jared and Sunny had been away for a week. They should be back soon.

Almost everyone was healthy now, only a few more were sick, and things had gotten back to normal in the caves.

"Wanda, it's a week left. Try the dress," Mel said, took my hand, and together we left the kitchen.

I wasn't sure if the dress would fit me, since my baby bump wasn't so small anymore. It showed even if I wore a little looser shirt. Our little baby had started to kick now – and I wanted Ian to be there and feel it. Feel the kicks I felt almost every day. Although, it was always worse at night.

"So, you nervous?" I asked, to distract myself.

"I'm getting married in a week, and you might not fit in the dress – of course I'm nervous," Mel answered, and we both laughed after.

"Honestly?" she said then. "I don't know. I'm trying not to think about it. But of course it's there. Were you nervous?"

"I don't remember. But the same day – I could barely think because of it," I said, and we laughed again and stepped into her room.

"Okay, where is it?" she mumbled to herself, and a minute later she held the box that contained the dress. I opened the lid, and then kicked off my jeans and pulled my shirt over my head.

"It suits you," Mel suddenly said.

"Huh?" I asked, and took the dress out and held it in my hands.

"Being pregnant." She smiled wide.

"That's something I'm nervous about, though," I said, and started to pull the dress on.

It seemed to fit – for now.

"Why?"

"Why wouldn't I be? It's a whole other life to take care of. And I guess I'm scared I won't make a good mom – seriously, this isn't working," I said, changing the subject to talk about the zipper on the dress. Mel came to stand beside me, and tried it.

"You got bigger breasts than I do," she laughed, and tried it again. This time it worked.

"See? Perfect – just don't grow anymore. And about being a mother, you're going to make a wonderful mom, Wanda."

"Thank you, Mel. You're going to be the best aunt ever. Speaking of, I can't look like this," I said, and pointed at my chest. My breast were all pressed together, and they felt like they were going to pop out any second.

"Shh, you look beautiful," she said, and gave me a slight hug.

As she did this, I felt a slight nudge from the inside. I hurried to place her hand on my stomach.

There was another kick, and she felt it. Her smile grew wider.

"She's getting strong," she said, and I nodded.

"Yeah," I answered, again thinking that I wanted Mel's hand to be replaced by Ian's.

The first kick a few days ago was when I had longed for Ian the most, and I did with every move I felt from her.

"They'll be home soon," she said, reading my mind.

"They better," I answered. "Now unzip me," I told her then and her hand moved from my stomach to my side and unzipped the dress.

"We should head back and do some work," she said as we left her room.

"I'll be there soon, I'm just gonna leave this in my room," I said, and lifted the box a little.

"You gonna be okay alone?"

"Mel, see you soon," I said, rolled my eyes and walked in the other direction.

I laid the box on the floor, next to the bed. I could find a better place for it later.

And the baby was pressing my bladder, so I needed to pee.

I met a few people that was all coming from the bathing room, and said hello to everyone of them.

But there was no line, and it didn't take long for be to be done.

The corridor outside was empty, but I heard footsteps coming against me.

I continued to walk, and about half a minute later I met Burns.

"Hello," I said as I passed him. He greeted me too.

The footsteps behind me stopped, and then I felt something hit me in the head. It was hard and I lost my balance. I fell on my side, hitting the side of my face, and then everything went black.

---

My head was throbbing hard. I couldn't concentrate on anything else. Just the pain in my head.

And the side of my face.

I might have groaned, but I wasn't sure.

"Doc, she's waking up." The voice was very distant and I could barely hear it.

Then I felt something touch my hand. Squeeze it maybe?

It took a while, but I found my eyelids and opened them. I closed them again.

It was light in the room, and the light was too bright for my eyes.

I opened them again, and forced them to adjust.

"Wanda?" I heard a voice call so I turned my head and found Doc next to my head.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"My head... it hurts," my words came out mumbled.

"Mel, can you give me that No Pain?" Doc looked up, and then down at me again.

"What happened?" I asked when I couldn't remember why my head were hurting so much.

"You don't remember?" Mel asked, suddenly coming into view. She sounded worried.

"No," I answered and Doc gave me the No Pain.

"That's only what I expected. Wanda, you have a concussion."

A concussion? Why? I tried to get up, but Doc pushed me down again.

"What happened?" I asked again.

Doc hesitated, and Mel took over.

"Burns hit you in the head, and you fell down, hitting it again."

Wait, what? Burns had hit me? Why? When? _Why?_

"What?" I asked.

"If Kyle hadn't been close enough to see it, you probably wouldn't have been here now."

Through the pain I could understand what Mel were saying. Burns had tried to kill me? Why?

"Why?"

"We don't know, honey," she told me. Her voice was very sad, and pained. I hated hearing it.

"Where is he?"

"Unconcious. Jeb and Kyle are there, making sure he stays that way."

I tried to get up again, the worst pain was over, and this time Doc let me.

"How are you feeling now?" he asked.

"The worst pain is over."

I could think again, and then it finally hit me. Burns had tried to kill me. Why? He's a soul, this wasn't in his nature? Could it have anything to do with the looks I had seen him give me?

The baby – was she alright?

"The baby..." I only had time to say before Doc assured me.

"She's fine," he said, and if she wanted to tell me it really was she gave me a hard kick.

I let my hand rest on my stomach.

"When did this happen?"

"About an hour ago. I woke you up because of the concussion," Doc said, and looked at me worriedly.

The memories we're coming back.

"I... I fell on the side of my face?" I asked, and raised my hand to my face, and hissed.

It felt slightly swollen, and I was very sore. It would be a big bruise.

"I managed to take most of the swelling away. But that is going to make one nasty bruise," Doc said and I nodded. I was beginning to feel a little sick. I told him so.

"That's because of the concussion, too."

"Is there anything else?" I asked.

"No. You didn't get anything more than the concussion."

"Amanda's been pissed at Burns, and Kyle beat him uncunsions. It's going to be a tribunal," Mel assured me. I managed to nod. I still didn't know exactly how I felt. I was too confused for that.

"I don't wan't you too sleep anything tonight because of the concussion," Doc said, and I nodded again. He explained to me why, and again I nodded.

"Why did he do it?" I wonderered.

"We don't know. We haven't been able to ask him anything," Mel said, and just as she did Jeb and Kyle walked into the hospital.

"You look horrible, hon," Jeb said, and I tried to smile. It probably looked more like a grimace.

"Thank you, Kyle," I said, and he smiled at me.

"Don't think about it."

"Aaron and Brandth are with Burns," Jeb explained when Doc asked.

Most of my confusion was running off, and I knew I wanted to talk to him. Ask him why.

"You should go and see if you can eat something," Doc said when I had been awake for about an hour.

"I'm not very hungry, but okay," I said, and carefully hopped of the cot. I could feel that my body was sore, too. I crossed my arms over my chest, and turned to look at Jeb.

"Can you tell me when he wakes up? I... I want to talk to him," I said, and Jeb nodded.

Mel followed me out of the hospital.

"Are you sure? I can..."

"No. I want to do it myself. I want to know."

"Okay, but I'll be there if you want me too."

"Thank you, Mel," I said, and she wrapped one arm around my shoulder. I leaned my head against hers as we walked slowly toward the kitchen.

We stopped outside.

"I don't want to see everybody now," I said, and Mel nodded, understanding.

"I'll get some food, and then we'll go some place else. Wait here?" she asked, and I nodded.

She wasn't gone for long, but she didn't come back alone, either. Both Jamie and Amanda was with her. Jamie grimaced when he saw me.

"I'm so sorry..." Amanda started, but I cut her off.

"It's not your fault."

"But it is. I brought him here," she argued, and I shook my head.

"Don't blame yourself," I said, and placed one of my arms around her.

I took one of Jamie's hands in my free one as Mel carried the food into our bedroom.

Mel placed the food on the floor as she and Amanda dragged the other mattress to the one we always slept on. I leaned myself against the wall, with Jamie and Mel on both sides of me.

Amanda were still trying to apologize, and I told her it wasn't her fault.

The hours passed, and I ate slowly. But I managed to eat it all after some time.

When it was beginning to get dark, there was a slight nod on the door and Jeb popped his head inside.

"He's awake," he said, and suddenly I felt very unsure. I knew Mel had offered to go with me, but I didn't want her to be the one. I wanted someone else. And that someone wasn't here...

"Can I do it tomorrow instead? I'm exhausted, and I'm not supposted to sleep and..."

"We'll question him and let you know if he answers," Jeb cut me off and threw Mel a bottle of Awake that she gave me.

"Thank you," I said, and smiled at him before he disappeared again.

"I'm going to need this one," I said, and looked down at the Awake. Mel chuckled, and so did I.

"We'll stay awake with you," she offered.

"No, you're not," I argued, and she pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes. She met my gaze for a long time.

"Fine," she said, and sighed. I couldn't let them be awake, they all needed their sleep.

---

Mel, Jamie and Amanda we're all asleep on the mattresses in our room.

We had gotten one more from Mel and Jared's room, that Mel and Jamie shared.

I had one by myself. Not that I would use it.

It was hard to just lay there awake, so I decided to go for a walk.

I felt safe, knowing Burns were down in the hospital, guarded.

They hadn't been able to get any answers out of him, and they would try again tomorrow.

I still had a pair of dark blue oversized sweatpants and a black, tight fitting long sleeved shirt on, the clothes I had changed into as we got into our room right before we ate.  
My hair was wrapped up in a bun in the middle of my head.

I placed a pair of shoes on my feet and started to walk. I had to idea where to, and everyone but me seemed to be asleep.

I didn't know how much the time was – ten thirty, eleven, maybe.

I hoped Ian would return tomorrow, I missed him so much and I wanted to see him. Wanted him to hold me.

As I walked I felt my tears started to run, but I didn't know why. It was probably all the feelings from the day letting go and turning into something else that made me cry. And the hormones.

But as I was alone, I didn't fight them. I let them run, and dried them off from time to time.

Suddenly I heard footsteps and I froze. I listened carefully. The footsteps seemed to return and disappear all the time, and they seemed to belong to more than one person...

I looked around myself. I was in the corridor leading to the exit. Leading to the storage room.

They must be back. I hurried my footsteps and saw black shapes walk in and out of the storage.

They were going in with boxes, and came out without them.

Ian was back.

I dried the tears one more time, and walked up to meet them.

Ian came out of the storage by the time I reached it, and he saw me.

"Wanda? What are you doing awake?" he asked, and started to walk toward me.

When I heard his voice our little girl started to kick. And kick. _And kick._ I smiled in the darkness.

"Hey, come here," I said, my voice shaky, and reached for his hand as soon as I could. I placed it on my stomach, and waited for another kick. We didn't have to wait long.

A breathtaking smile appeared on Ian's face. It was tired, but yet breathtaking.

He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped and his smile faded. His hand reached up and gently touched the side of my face. It hurt a little bit, but I didn't care. It was nice feeling his hand on my skin again.

"What happened?" he demanded, his voice worried and angry.

"It's a long story," I said, not knowing where to begin.

"Make it short." I sighed.

"Just don't overreact," I said, knowing he would want to go down to the hospital immidiatly as soon as I told him where Burns was.

"I won't."

"But you will," I murmured, and sighed again. Make the story short? Okay, then.

"Burns tried to kill me earlier today." That was_ too_ short.

"He did _what_?" he asked, his voice raised and more angry. The fingers of the hand who didn't linger on my face turned into a fist. I reached out and placed it on my stomach.

"I'm fine, _we're_ fine."

"Where is he?"

I pursed my lips as I looked into his burning eyes.

"Where?" he asked again when I didn't answer.

"Kyle, Jeb and Doc are watching him," I answered, not willing to tell him where.

I didn't want him to do something rash.

"Where?"

"I don't know." He heard the lie, and I sighed.

"Hospital." He nodded, and tried to relax himself. His face wasn't as angry anymore.

"You should sleep," he said, and I shook my head.

"Doc told me not to – I have a concussion."

A flash of anger appeared in his eyes again.

"Mel, Jamie and Amanda fell asleep, which is good. Amanda have been apologizing all day," I said, trying to make him think of something else. It worked.

"Why is she apologizing?"

"She thinks it's her fault, for bringing him here."

"It's not," he said, and shook his head.

"I tried to tell her that," I said, and the shaky tone was back in my voice. I ignored it and placed both of my arms around his waist and leaned the good side of my face against his chest.

His hands moved, too, and rested on the small of my back right after pulling me closer.

He burrowed his head against my neck, and placed a gentle kiss there. I leaned out and made sure his lips were pressed against mine instead. When our lips met, our baby girl kicked even more.


	28. Chapter 28

**This chapter starts right where the last one ended, which is why the update is so soon.**

There we stood, in the middle of the corridor, kissing each other.

Again, I had moved Ian's hand and placed it on my stomach so that he could feel our little girl.

"Ahem," I heard someone say, and we quickly broke the kiss. It might have been a little too private to share when someone was watching.

I had completly forgotten about Sunny and Jared, but there they stood.

It was Jared who had cleared his throat, which really didn't surprise me much.

"We took the last boxes, since you're busy," he said, and smirked.

"Sorry, I got distracted," Ian apologized. There was a sharp edge in his voice.

"Yeah, we can see that," Sunny laughed.

"I don't think that's what he was talking about," I said, and the anger flashed in his eyes again.

"Ian, you're not going down there without me," I said, and he met my gaze.

"And you're not going down there at all," he answered me, and gently stroked the bruise that covered half my face. I grimaced when it hurt, and he quickly removed his hand.

"Sorry," he apologized, his voice soft and gentle. I smiled and shook my head.

"I'm going down there. He's probably asleep now, and I need No Pain," I said, and it was Ian's turn to grimace.

"Does it hurt?" he whispered, his voice pained.

"Sometimes, but it's mostly sore. But the headache is coming back," I said, and could almost feel the confusion in the air. I turned to look at Jared and Sunny again.

"No Pain?" Jared asked with a raised eyebrow.

I sighed and told them about today's events. None of them liked it very much.

Jared wanted to follow us down to the hospital. I nodded and took Ian's hand.

_The more, the better,_ I thought as we walked.

"Is Mel awake?" Jared asked me, and I shook my head.

"No, she and Jamie both fell asleep in our room," I said, and saw him nodding.

He had probably expected so much.

When we got closer to the hospital we heard voices. They were asking questions and sounded angry.

I froze midstep. He was awake?

Ian wrapped his arm around my shoulder instead of holding my hand, and pulled me close.

I leaned my head against his side, and forced myself to continue to walk.

Because if Ian walked in there alone he would most definitely do something I don't want him to do.

And he wouldn't do that if I was in there with him.

When we stepped inside I first saw Kyle and Jeb. Next to them sat Burns, looking very uncomfortable.

Doc was standing near by, and was the first one who saw us.

"Wanda, Ian, Jared," he greeted us with a nod. Jeb and Kyle turned around for a quick second and then turned their attention to Burns again. Jeb gripped his gun tighter when he refused to answer their questions.

I pulled myself as close into Ian as I could, suddenly afraid. Burns were staring at me.

He looked almost worse then I did, with a big swollen eye and bruises all over his face. It didn't look like anyone had tried to treaten his injuries and his hands were tied behind his back.

"It's okay," Ian whispered low to me, trying to assure me. His gaze was locked on Burns as he lead us over to Doc. Jared continued to walk to Jeb and Kyle.

"How are you feeling?" Doc asked me, and I looked at him instead.

"The headache is coming back," I said, and he turned around to look for No Pain.

He quickly found it, and gave it to me.

"How is it going?" I asked, wanting to know.

"Still nothing. He refuses to answer any of our questions," Doc didn't look happy.

"And... he's been asking for you," he said then, and I felt Ian stiffen beside me. So did I.

"For me? Why?" I asked, my voice shaky again.

"Who knows?" Doc shrugged. I heard footsteps behind us, and Jeb came to stand next to Doc.

He didn't hold the gun in his hands anymore.

"How are you, hon?" he asked me.

"I'm okay."

"Good, good," he answered and nodded his head.

"When did you come back?" he turned to look at Ian.

"Not long ago," he answered, and his voice was strained.

Jeb nodded again, guessing so much. He quickly looked at the other direction, and then at me.

"He wants to talk to you," he said, and I felt Ian's grip on me tighten.

"Alone," he said before I had the time to say anything. I could feel my head shaking, and I saw Ian doing the same thing at the same time.

"Not alone," I said, and Jeb didn't have to ask me who I wanted with me.

"Whenever you're ready," he said, and shot a brief glance at the others.

I, too, turned around and looked. Kyle and Jared - holding the gun - were hovering over Burns, who still looked at me. I was scared, but it would be better to have it behind me.

I turned around and looked at Jeb again.

"Now, I think," I said, and Jeb nodded and started to walk away.

"Wanda..." Ian started, but I hushed him.

"C'mon," I said, and moved so that I could hold his hand instead.

We walked slowly, and Jared and Kyle turned around and shot glances at both me and Ian.

"Thank you," I heard Ian say to Kyle as they passed each other. Kyle nodded and then they we're behind us. It seemed to me that they all left the hospital, but I knew they were close. They wouldn't leave us.

Burns continued to stare at me, and I could see the anger on Ian's face.

Burns turned his gaze to Ian for a second, and then looked at me again.

"Is this what you call alone?" he asked, his voice so calm it only scared me more.

"He's not going anywhere," I said at the same time that Ian said; "I'm not leaving her."

He squeezed my hand tighter and Burns glared. But he didn't say anything.

"Why?" I managed to ask, and he looked like he wasn't about to answer me.

He looked at Ian again, and his voice was steady when he talked.

"Because I can." His answer startled me a little.

"Why?" I asked again. He hadn't given me an answer. His glare turned to me again.

"Because you make me _sick,"_ he said, spitting the words at me.

I could feel Ian almost boiling beside me.

"Ian," I whispered and looked at him. Tried to calm him. When he was calm enough, I turned to Burns again.

"See – just what I'm talking about. You're a soul, Wanda." I froze when he said my name.

"Surprised, I see." he said. "Yes, I do know you're name is _Wanda."_

"H-how?"

"C'mon, that's not hard to figure out. And that's one of the reasons why you make me sick."

I didn't answer him, still surprised by the fact that he knew my real name.

"I heard both Amanda and your _human_ here call you that when they met that time over a year ago," he explaned. "And I've just waited for a moment to get you alone," he continued.

He had known all this time? Was that why he had looked at me the way he had?

"And when we showed up here you just gave me one more exuse to kill you," he said calmy.

Ian wasn't, and there was no way I could calm him now. He took a step forward, not letting go of my hand, and the other one turned into a fist.

"What are you talking about?" he asked through his clenched teeth. Burns never stopped looking at me.

"You see, Wanda, it was very wrong of you to give our secret away. The humans are not supposted to know that," he said. That's why? Because Doc knew how to make in insertion?

"You tried to _kill_ her over _that_?" Ian spit.

"No, I was just going to hurt her for that. But when I showed up here, and saw how human she is... She's married to one, expecting a _human_ child with one... It was just too much. It's _wrong._ You're not _human,_ you're a _soul._ And you have to know that! You're a soul, nothing less. You came here to take over their planet and here you are, acting like one of them. You've turned your back on our whole society."

Ian was going to loose it soon, I could see that.

"What about you then, huh? Haven't you too turned your back in that case?" Ian growled, and Burns smirked. He wasn't frighetened at all by Ian's rage.

"No, I haven't. I may live with humans, but at least_ I_ know what and who I am."

I could feel this getting to much for me, and the tears started to leak over.

It was too much for Ian, as well. At least he had time to warn me before it happened.

His angry blue eyes bored into mine.

"I'm sorry," he said, and I dropped his hand and turned in another direction as I saw him lurching his body toward the soul sitting on the cot. I could accept what he was about to do, but I couldn't watch.

I could hear when his fist hit Burns face, but I couldn't feel it in me to feel sorry for him.

A small part of me told me he deserved it and that part wanted it to hurt.

I didn't care that he had tried to kill me, but my baby? How could he do something like that?

I could see Jeb, Kyle, Jared and Doc walking into the hospital again at the same time I felt Ian throw his arms around me. I clung to him, and pressed myself as close as possible.

"I'm sorry for doing that," he whispered, and I shook my head.

"Thank you," I said and pressed my face against chest. I was thanking him for everything.

For loving me, for being here with me, for _always_ being there for me...

"I love you so much, Wanda," he said and hugged me tighter.

I could feel him placing a kiss in my hair, and I heard a disgusted noice from behind us.

Ian didn't have time to react before the others came up to us.

"Guess you found something out?" Jeb said, and I nodded and leaned out from Ian's chest so that I could look at them.

"Didn't you hear?" I asked.

"We only watched, not listened. But since Ian... yeah, so what did you find out?" Doc said.

I was very aware that Burns sat only a few metres away when I answered. But I didn't have it in me to care anymore.

"He knows I'm me, and that I gave away the 'secret'," I answered and wiped away one of my tears.

"That's why?" Kyle asked, surprised.

"No. He... he..." I started, struggling for words. Did he really think of me as a traitor? I know I had felt like one in the beginning, but Ian had made me realize what I really was. I wasn't a traitor.

And when I told Doc how to take out a soul, that was because of love. Is that really betrayal?

No, it can't be. But he was right about one thing. I did feel like a human, even though I knew deep inside that I'm a soul. But right now, standing in Ian's arms and feeling the baby move, made me feel more human than ever. Made me feel like this was the whole reason that I even existed.

That I was supposted to live on eight planets, just waiting for _my_ planet to open.

Even though everything would have been better and easier for my humans if we hadn't come here...

"He thinks of her as a traitor, for being here. For living her life," Ian finished for me.

I could see several eyes narrowing, and most of them looked angry.

They were not happy about this.

"I want to get out of here," I told Ian before any of the others had something to say.

"Of course, c'mon," he said, and kissed my forehead gently.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Wanda. And if there is anything..." Doc started.

"I know where you are," I finished his sentance and he smiled softly at me.

Ian and I walked slowly to our room, Jared walking behind us.

Ian removed the red door, and smiled when he saw the sight inside. He wasn't alone.

So did I and Jared, who almost chuckled.

Jamie had somehow managed to roll over so that his legs were hanging over Amanda, with his head on Mel's stomach. It couldn't be comfortable. But all three of them slept soundly.

"Some help?" Jared whispered, and Ian lifted Jamie off the ground so that Jared could lift Mel.

I saw both of them walking toward Mel and Jared's room, only to disappear for a few seconds.

Jared came back to get the mattress, and then Ian and I were alone.

Aside from his older sister, who was sleeping deeply.

Ian took my hand, and without having to ask he laid us down on the mattress, face to face.

Even if I wanted him to sleep, I knew he would be up with me all night.

"You okay?" he asked whispering, and wrapped one of his arms around my waist only to pull me a little closer. I did the same thing before I answered him with a nod.

"Mel said there was going to be a tribunal. But is that the best thing to do? He doesn't live here - isn't it Nate's right to decide what to do with him?" I whispered to him and it took a few seconds for him to answer.

"As much as I want to have the tribunal, you're right. This isn't where he belongs, and he sure as hell isn't staying here. I'll talk to Jeb about it tomorrow."

"I'll do it. You should sleep," I told him and I heard him sigh, making me smile.

It was a comfortable silence for a few seconds.

"Why did you come back so late?" I asked. I hadn't had the chance to think about it before, but now, when I where exactly where I wanted to be, I could think again.

Ian understood my question.

"We were done by afternoon, and decided we'd rather go home than to take in on a hotel. But there was some road-building, so we had to be in line for almost two hours."

I nodded, and was just glad that he was in my arms again. Safe.

Our baby seemed to feel the same way, and I felt a soft kick on the side of my stomach.

I smiled into Ian's chest.

"So, when was the first kick?" he asked, and then I realized he must have felt it, too.

"A few days after you left. She's kicking all the time, mostly at night. She likes to keep me awake," I smiled and then got serious again.

"The first kick was the worst, because that's when I wanted you with me the most. I've missed you every second of every day, but then it was almost unbearable."

"I shouldn't have left for the raid," he said simply and I knew what he was talking about.

"It's not your fault. You heard what he said, he was waiting for me to be alone. And eventually, with or without you, I would have been."

"That doesn't change the fact that I _should_ have been here."

"You are not blaming this on yourself. This is no one's fault. No one except Burns."

I couldn't let him blame himself for not being here. I didn't blame him, how could I?

I didn't blame anyone for this.

Ian sighed and gave up. None of us wanted to fight right now. We just wanted to be with each other and hold each other all night.

He was quiet for a few more seconds, before he told me he had missed me.

"Missed you more."

"I don't really believe that," he said, almost in a teasing voice.

"Give me a kiss and prove it," I challenged him, smiling. I could see his eyes narrowing for a quick second, but he took on the challange and his eyes closed completly as our lips met.

The kiss was gentle at first, but it grew and became rougher and deeper.

Our lips moved in sync, never truly letting go of each other. None of us wanted to let go of the other.

Ian rolled us so that I was on my back, and he made sure that his weight wasn't on me.

But I pressed him closer, wanting to feel him against me. I hadn't for a while now...

He darted his tongue out and into my mouth. It felt like I hadn't kissed him like this for ages, hadn't felt the fire burn inside of me for just as long.

And I loved feeling it again, if it wasn't for one thing.

"Ian... your sister," I said against his lips, in between the kisses.

"She's asleep," he answered, and his mouth searched down my jaw and throat, only to go the same way up. It felt like I had trouble breathing.

"She might wake up," I managed to say, and his lips found mine again.

He didn't answer me, just continued with the kisses. I was about to give in, and enjoy the kissing one hundred precent, but what if she woke up? I knew it was a low chance that it would happen, but there was still a chance that it could.

"Ian..." I mumbled, protesting, but I still kept kissing him and my hand found his hair and gripped it between the fingers. My other arm locked behind his neck.

"She won't wake up," he mumbled back.

"You don't know that," I said, my lips still against his. But he broke it and I opened my eyes. I found his face an inch from mine, his eyes looking into mine.

"Tell me again why we're not doing this?" he asked, and I sighed, wanting his lips against mine again.

"If she wakes up-," Ian narrowed his eyes and I ignored him –"Imagine that you were to walk in on Kyle and Jodi."

"Okay, I see your point," he said, and shuddered slightly. He had a strange expression on his face, almost like he was trying to forget something...

"Oh my god, when did it happen?" I asked, feeling like I wanted to chuckle.

"Don't laugh, I'm scarred for life," he said, trying not to laugh himself, and flopped down on his back beside me. I turned and rested my head against the arm he left for me to use as a pillow.

"It must have been ten years ago," he started, and placed a soft kiss on the side of my head.

"I came home earlier from school one day, and no one was supposted to be home until a few hours later. And all I could think about is that it's going to be nice having some time away from Kyle, who's at Jodi's place. I walked into the livingroom, to watch some TV, and there's Kyle and Jodi on the couch, skipping class only to do things I never want to think about again," he said, chuckling quietly. And so did I.

"I think we should plan your revenge," I chuckled.

"We have to make sure both of them are there to watch, of course," Ian agreed.

We were quiet then, just enjoying the silence and being in each others arms again.


	29. Chapter 29

**Okay, so this is the last chapter I have done. I've been busy working on my other stories, and I just haven't found time to write on this one.  
But as soon as I have the next chapter done, I'll upload it.  
I can definitely see and end to this story, and it's coming closer and closer.  
No more than maybe five, six chapters left after this one. **

I was tired, but not _sleep _tired since I had taken Awake only an hour ago.

The sun was rising, and Ian was still awake. He, too, had taken some Awake so that he could be just that - with me.

I laid with my back against his chest, and our hands were tied together with our fingers.

I had noticed many times before that he had a faded scar on his right hand, right beside his thumb.

But I had never asked him how he got it.

I wasn't planning on asking now either, but he caught me tracing my own thumb over it.

"You're wondering how I got that scar?" he asked softly, and I nodded.

"But you don't have to tell me," I added. I had a feeling this was from a time long ago, where his world were still _his._ A world he hadn't been in for many years.

He ignored my words, and told me anyway.

"I got it when I was nine. Kyle, dad and I were out fishing one weekend. I had caught a big one, and were proud of it. So was dad. Kyle, being Kyle, was a little jealous that I had caught the biggest one, though." Ian laughed softly, thinking back. For once, when he talked about his previous life, his voice wasn't as sad as it used to be. "I tripped over a root, well hidden in the leaves, and fell on the ground. I landed so that a hook was pierced into my hand, and it left that scar. I thought it hurt, bad, and dad wanted to make me feel better. So he took his knife, and cut himself so that we would have scars that looked just like each other." I could feel him smiling, and automatically I did so as well.

Like always when Ian talked about his dad, or his mom, I wished there was some way for him to have them back. For me to meet them. I knew they would have been proud over their son.

I told him this.

"But if I still had them in my life, I wouldn't have you. None of you," he said, and moved his hand from mine and placed it on my stomach. As if knowing it was her father who had his hand there, she kicked softly right where his hand touched my stomach.

Ian would make an terrific father to our little girl, I just knew it.

"I love you," I told him, and I felt him pressing a soft kiss in the crook of my neck.

I heard the even breaths from across the room change.

"I think Amanda is waking up," I told Ian, and a few seconds later there was movement on her mattress. She started to stir, but it looked like she was unwilling to wake up.

She didn't open her eyes in over a minute, and Ian and I were quiet, waiting for her to fully wake.

When she didn't, Ian decided to change that.

"Why is there a clown standing in here?" he asked loudly, and at first I didn't understand.

But when Amanda sat up quickly, looking more than confused, and a little scared actually, Ian started to chuckle. Amanda didn't notice.

"Where?" she asked, looking around herself, and I could hear the fear in her voice.

Then her eyes adjust, and she could see - and hear - Ian chuckling.

So she took her pillow, and threw it at him.

"That was mean, you know how afraid I am of clowns!" she accused when the pillow missed him with almost a meter. Ian chuckled again, and this time so did I.

Amanda soon joined in, and ran her fingers through her hair. But her chuckle faded when she looked at me. Did I really look that bad? I had no idea.

Ian noticed Amanda looking at me, so he turned my head carefully in his direction and grimaced at what he saw. For a few seconds the anger was back in his eyes, but then disappeared. Mostly.

I pursed my lips.

"Is it really that bad?" I asked, and it took Ian a second to answer.

"Worse." His voice was soft, barely a whisper, but I could clearly hear the pain in it.

I needed to change the subject.

"I'm hungry," I said, and slowly got up from the bed. My head spun a little, but not more than I would have expected for lying down for so long.

Ian, too, got up, and took my hand again. So did Amanda. She gave Ian a hug, and welcomed him back. Then we waited for her to get dressed, so that we could go and eat some breakfast.

The three of us walked out of the room, and I heard Amanda trying to apologize to Ian. He didn't accept it, just like I didn't. This wasn't her fault.

It was still early, and we didn't meet anyone on our way to the kitchen.

But we heard voices, so we knew people were awake.

When we stepped into the kitchen it very much reminded me of my first days here.

The room fell silent, and ten faces turned to look at us. All grimacing at what they saw.

I was a little surprised when I saw that Sharon was one of them.

I felt umcomfortable with everyone looking at me, and Ian noticed. He squeezed my hand, and together we walked over to the counter and took some breakfast. We sat down with Kyle and Jodi, Amanda sitting next to Jodi and Ian and I opposite to them. Jodi made another grimace, and looked apologetically at me.

"Please don't look like that, Jodi," I told her, and she forced a smile. Making me smile.

Before anyone had the time to say anything, Jeb and Doc came up to us.

"That's one nasty bruise, hon," Jeb said, and looked at me.

"At least I can't feel it," I said, thinking positive.

"At least there's that," I heard Ian mumble quietly beside me, but I ignored him.

"Jeb, I actually wanted to talk to you," I said.

"'Bout what?" he asked.

"I know Mel said there's going to be a tribunal, but I don't think so,-"

"Of couse there's going to be a tribunal!" I heard Trudy say from behind me. There was low murmurs around the room, all seeming to agree with her.

Now everyone was listening too... I tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling.

"Hey, hey, let Wanda talk," Jeb said, and the room was silent igen.

"What I mean is that he don't belong _here._ Isn't it better if Nate takes care of it?"

Amanda's eyes widened, and Jeb pursed his lips.

"Maybe you're right, Wanda. But how are we supposted to bring Burns there?" Jeb asked.

I nearly rolled my eyes, but Amanda spoke before I had the time to.

"Wanda is right. But Nate is Nate, and Burns is his best friend. I just don't think he would do what he'll have to do. I don't think he'll be _able_ to do it," she said and looked sad.

It was quiet for a few seconds.

"But if I comes with, and tries to explain," I suggested.

"Not a bad idea – and if we do it soon he'll be able to see the proof himself," Jeb agreed.

"We should do it today," Kyle suggested, and I saw Ian shaking his head.

"No, tomorrow. Wanda hasn't slept all night, and she needs at least one day of rest," he said.

I knew he said that because he was worried about me, but I was going to be okay. I_ was_ okay.

And nothing would happen. I knew Ian wouldn't allow it.

"Yes, I agree. I want to examine you later, and see that everything is really fine," Doc added, and I nodded.

"But not tomorrow," I said. I didn't want to do it tomorrow. It was christmas after all, and I wanted to spend it alone with Ian and with the others I love.

I got a few questiong eyes, and again I nearly rolled mine.

"It's christmas tomorrow, and I don't feel like going anywhere. Besides, I'll look like this for a while," I said, pointing at my face, and saw Ian grimacing a little while he squeezed my hand.

"But I don't want him here for days. I wan't him _gone,"_ Ian said.

"So do we, and that leaves us with a problem," Doc remarked.

"But if Doc examines me now, and then I can take some more Awake. That means we can go today," I suggested.

Ian and Doc pursed their lips, and Jeb had his pokerface on. My suggestion wasn't going to be accepted. That I saw from their expressions.

"Tell you what, why don't I examine you know? And if everything is okay, you can get a few hours of sleep. It's to bright outside to go now, anyway, and you have to wait until at least late afternoon," Doc said. Ian still didn't seem to like the idea that we were going today, or that I was going at all, but at the same time he wanted Burns gone. And Doc was right, it was too bright to go now anyway. If I was okay, then both Ian and I could sleep for a few hours, and then we could go.

"Yes, that's the best plan so far," I said, and I could see Ian nodding his head.

"If you're going, so am I," Kyle said, and I turned my head to look at him.

"What? You might need the extra man-power," he said, and shrugged his shoulders.

I could hear Ian chuckling low.

"Yeah, _that's _why," he murmured under his breath. Kyle heard, and smacked him on the side of his head.

"Did I miss something?" Amanda asked, and I wondered the same thing.

"Our big brother feels_ guilty_," Ian said, and Kyle looked almost ashamed.

"What?" Amanda was shocked. But I could see where Ian's words were leading.

He felt guilty? He had just saved my life, but yet he felt guitly for trying to take it so long ago.

That was ridicilous. I had forgiven him a long time ago, and he shouldn't feel guilty.

He wasn't that man anymore.

"Oh, man, don't tell her..." Kyle groaned, and I chuckled.

"C'mon, Doc," I said, and was ready to leave when Ian stopped me.

"I'm coming with you," he said, and looked up at me.

"You don't have to," I said, but he shook his head.

"But I _want_ to." He got up, and the three of us left the kitchen.

Doc hesitated outside.

"Burns is still down there, so why don't you go to your room and I'll examine you there?" he said.

I smiled softly at him, and told him we could do that.

I hadn't really thought about the fact that Burns were still there, but as Doc mentioned it I realized I'd rather not see him. Ever.

Doc turned to walk in one direction, and Ian and I walked into the other.

---

Ian laid on his back, and I rested my head against his bare chest. Both of his arms were around me.

"Ian, what was the dream about?" I asked, and I could hear the worry in my voice that I felt inside of me. When Doc had examined me, everything was fine. So Ian and I had slept for hours. Until he woke up from the dream...

_I woke up suddenly when Ian jolted up of bed. I opened my eyes, and saw him sitting up.  
__He had his back toward me, and had pulled up his legs so that he could rest his arms against his knees. His head was burrowed in there somewhere. _

_Since it was in the middle of the day, the room was bright and I could see everyone of his strained muscles. I sat up slowly, and put one hand on his back and the other one on his left arms. _

"_Ian?" I asked softly, and Ian turned his head to look at me. His eyes were glossy, and it looked like he was close to tears. Worry flooded up in me the second I saw it. _

_But his eyes changed, and I could see the determintation only for a half second before his hand were cupping my face and his lips were on mine. Moving hard and rough against mine, forcing them to move with his.  
__But I didn't complain, even though I was still worried about him. He never dreamt bad dreams, and if he ever did, this was the first one I had woken up from. _

_With his lips still fusing with mine, he layed us down again, him above me. _

_I could feel that he was just as careful as always, but it was like that part of his brain was gone for now. He was careful, but in a way he was much... rougher__ as well. _

_His hands traced over my skin in familiar patterns, just like mine did the same with him. _

_When his lips left mine, they only did so for a short period of time, just enough so that we both could breath. But his lips were always touching my skin, his hands always running over my body..._

His arms tightened a little around me, almost as if he didn't want to think about it.

Or it was because he heard the worry in my voice.

"It wasn't really a dream, it was more of an impression," he said quietly after a moment or two.

I waited for him to continue, like I knew he would. I could hear him swollow loudly before he spoke again. That made me even more worried.

"I just... it was like you weren't here with me. Like you were gone. Like you were taken from me, somehow. Almost like if you had never existed, and I've _never_ felt so helpless or lonley in all of my life. Not when mom and dad went missing, not when Kyle and I didn't speak for days, not _ever._ And I don't want to feel like that again."

His voice sounded so pained, so I opened my eyes and found his closed. Just as I was about to say something, he opened his mouth.

"I_ needed_ to feel you there, with me. Near me. I always want to feel you like that." I waited to make sure he had said everything he wanted to say.

"I don't wan't you to feel like that. Ian, I won't _ever _leave you. You've promised me you'll never leave me, and I'm promising the same thing, okay? Nothing can take me away from you. You're stuck with me." I tried to light up everything with my last words, but it didn't really help. Although, a smile was playing on his lips. But it disappeared soon, and his arms pulled me closer.

"I know. It's just been so much, you know? All the emotions with the first pregnancy, and then the... the..."

"The miscarriage," I finished for him when he seemed unable to say the words.

"Yeah, that. And you're pregnant again, and there was so much emotions when you passed those weeks, and just knowing we would have a girl in april... This is the happiest time of my life. But then I came back yesterday, and saw you like that... If someone – Kyle, Doc, Mel, _anyone_ – would have told me he had succeeded, if that person would have told me I could never hold you in my arms again, never see our baby,-" I heard him swollow loudly again. "I just don't know what I would have done. I don't know if I could have li..."

"Hey – look at me," I stopped him midsentance, not wanting to know his next words. It was enough that I could imagine them...

His words scared me, mostly because I felt the same way. Ian was the biggest reason, if not only, I was here. Why I stayed. And if I didn't have him with me...? I couldn't even think about it.

When Ian's eyes didn't open, I got up on one elbow and cupped one of my hands on the side of his face. Gently, I turned it in my direction and he opened his eyes to look into mine.

"Ian, I don't want to hear you talk like that, okay?"

He looked at me for a long time, searching my eyes. And I knew what he found.

Determination and intensity, the same things he had heard in my voice.

He let out a small sigh, and nodded his head.

"I love you, Wanderer," he said.

"Good. Because I love you too, and I always will."

"Good," he answered me, the smile reaching his eyes. Seeing him smile made me smile, too.

I layed back down, and Ian leaned in to press his lips against mine. They didn't last long, since there was a soft knock on the door.

"Mmh?" Ian answered whoever was out there.

"You awake?" I heard Kyle question, and I could see Ian rolling his eyes.

"No, I'm talking in my sleep."

"Shut up. Can I come in?"

Ian looked at me for a split second, deciding I was hidden enough under most of the covers.

He pulled me a little closer, as if wanting to hide me more, and then answered Kyle with a 'yes.'

I closed my eyes as I heard Kyle removing one of the doors, and rested my head against Ian's chest again.

"It's getting dark out there – oh, man, please tell me you're wearing clothes unde there!"

I felt Ian laughing quietly, and I kept my eyes closed. Just relaxing.

"Why do you care?" Ian asked, teasingly.

"C'mon, man, that's just... I'm scarred now."

"You should be glad you weren't here half an hour ago..."

"Okay, stop talking! I'm gonna go, see you in the kitchen. And... put some clothes on."

With that I heard the door being put back in place, and Ian chuckled again.

"That wasn't really neccesarry," I told him.

"No, but fun. Besides, not that big of a secret with you being pregnant, and you know, since I'm, uh, amazing in-"

"Oh, shh!" I said, and together we laughed.

"We should get going," I said after a moment or two.

"Yeah. You know I don't like this."

"I know. But I'm proof, and I want to go," I said, and Ian heard it wasn't a lie.

So he sighed, squeezed me tighter for a second and then got up and got dressed.

Since I still could wear jeans, I did. I also picked a long sleeved shirt, that was both comfortable and a little thicker, since it was december after all.

As soon as we were out in the corridor with the doors closed behind us, I took Ian's hand.

We didn't meet anyone on our way to the kitchen, but that was mostly because it was dinner time.

And that meant that the kitchen would be full.

"I'm just gonna..." I started, but then trailed off. Ian understood.

"I'll be right back," he said and then walked into the kitchen.

I was alone for about five minutes before Ian, Kyle and Amanda came back out.

Kyle shuddered slightly as he saw Ian placing his arm around me, and Ian laughed.

Amanda looked at her brothers confused.

"Trust me, you don't want to know," Kyle said, making both me and Ian chuckle.

When we reached the tunnel that lead down to the hospital, Kyle said he could do it himself and that we could go ahead. So we did.

We stopped at the storage though, since Ian asked me if I wanted something and I found out they had brought candy back with them.

For about a week now I had been craving for chocholate, so I was more than happy when I found out they had some with them back.

---

We made it to the van about twenty minutes before Kyle came there, with Burns blindfolded.

Ian and I took the fronseats, with Amanda and Kyle watching Burns in the back.

Amanda told Ian how to drive, and it took us about an hour to get there.

I had never been here, but immidiatly I could see that this was in worse shape than our caves.

They most definitely couldn't live easy like this.

They didn't take off the blindfold even though we were there, and his hands were still tied behind his back so that he wouldn't try anything.

I knew it was for the best, but I didn't like it.

Amanda showed us inside, and it didn't take long before we met people.

Nate was one of them. We saw immidiatly that he didn't like seeing Burns tied up, and Ian got in his way to explain. Nate didn't look at him though.

"Amanda?" he asked, and Amanda stepped forward.

"Nate, I can promise you that this is necessary," she said, and Nate glared at her.

"Why?"

"He... I know he's your best friend, so you're not going to like hearing this but..." Amanda started, and Kyle cut her off.

"He tried to kill one of us yesterday." He was very direct, and Nate was shocked. That's the first time he looked at me. Even in the darkness he saw the bruises covering my face, and then his eyes saw the hand that rested on my stomach. I saw him grimace, and then looked at the others again.

They discussed for a long time, and it didn't seem like Nate would give in. Amanda was right about that. Nate knew what he should do, but he _couldn't_ do it.

Neither Ian, Kyle or Amanda was happy about that. And I could understand why.

Ian could see that I didn't like being so close to Burns, so he took my hand and walked away with me.

As Ian sat us down in the backseat of the van, his arms around me, I told him we shouldn't have left.

"You've been proof enough, and they can handle this without us," he answered simply.

I didn't answer him because he was right. Nate had seen me, and Ian had made his thoughts very clear. They were just discussing now, and Amanda and Kyle wanted what Ian wanted.

We sat in the van for about forty minutes before they came back.

"How did it go?" Ian asked, and Kyle shook his head.

"He refuses to see our point. Well, at least he's not coming back to us," Kyle said as he and Amanda climbed into the car. That's when I noticed she had a bag in her hand. She saw me glancing at it.

"I won't live at the same place as him, and Jeb told me before that there was a room empty if I wanted it," she said, and smiled at me.

"Are you sure?" I asked her. Moving in with us and leaving the other was a big decision.

"I love all of you, and I don't ever want to see his worthless face again," she answered me as Kyle started the car.


	30. Chapter 30

**Okay, so I have half of the next chapter written.  
So the next upload will probably be in the middle of next week. **

**Anyway, here is chapter 30. Mel and Jared's wedding...**

I fingered on the necklace Ian had given me for chrismas, and watched Mel as she bit her lip.

The necklace was golden, and of a very simple design.

All it held was a golden circle pendant. On one side, both of our names was engraved, and on the other side there was room to engrave another name. Our baby's name.

It was beautiful, even though it's simple design, and I loved it.

I told Ian that I couldn't take it, because I didn't have anything for him, but he refused to take it back. He said that I did gave him something. I gave him myself every day. I had rolled my eyes, and told him he did the same. He still refused to take it back, so I took it. And I would never take it off.

"Mel, calm down," I tried, and deserved a glare from her.

"How the hell am I supposed to calm down? How could you be calm?" she asked frantically.

I walked up to her and placed my hands on her arms, to try to make her relax.

"Mel, listen to me. You love Jared, and he loves you. And in one hour, you're getting married."

"This isn't helping..." she groaned to me.

"Hey... Just think about how much you love him, okay?"

She nodded, and took a deep breath.

"You need to get ready, and so am I," I said, and removed my hands.

"Wanda..."

"I'll be back as soon as I'm in the dress," I promised and she nodded at me. I smiled at her nervous expression, and then left her room to go to mine.

Ian wasn't there, he was probably helping to get the game room ready for the cermony.

I took out the dress, and removed my old clothes. Mel was the only one who had seen me in it, and I had only tried it that one time.

I pressed it on, because it was kind of hard, and then tried the zipper.

I groaned, because this wasn't going to work. I had grown in this week, and the dress was tighter on me then the last time.

I held the dress with my hand, so that it would stay in position, and runned down to Mel.

She was half done, only the dress left to put on.

"Mel, this isn't working," I said, and she helped me. Tried, at least. The zip actually broke when she tried to zip me up.

"Go find Trudy or Lily, they can fix this," she said, and I nodded, holding the dress.

But I groaned again as I realized where they were. The game room. And the game room was full of people.

I froze outside the entrance, peaking inside. That the room was full of people was an understatement.

"Wanda, what are you doing here?" I heard Kyle ask, and I turned around so that I could see him.

Kyle was my best shoot at finding Trudy or Lily without walking into the room.

"Kyle, can you find Trudy or Lily for me?" I asked, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Why?" he wanted to know.

"Just do it," I snapped, and he looked at me surprised. I didn't really snap often. Well, not at all.

But Mel's nervousness was rubbing off on me, and I could always blame my hormones.

"Okay," Kyle answered and left. I heard him mutter _"hormones"_ under his breath, and I sighed.

It didn't take long before Trudy came into view.

"Wanda, Kyle told me you were looking for me," she said, and smiled at me.

"Yeah, come on," I said, and took her arm, dragging her into a darker, more private corridor.

"You look amazing," she said, and I looked at her.

"You really think so?" I asked, and let go of the dress. Immidiatly, it fell down. The only reason why it didn't fall down all the way to the floor was because of my stomach, and the tightness of the dress.

"What happened?" Trudy asked, and looked at me.

"Mel tried to zip me up, and the zipper broke," I said, hoping there was some way for Trudy to fix this. "Can you fix it?" I asked, and she pursed her lips.

"I think so," she said, and searched in her hair for a hairpin.

"A hairpin?" I asked, and she chuckled at my expression.

"These babies can do anything," she said, and then told me to hold the dress in the right position. Then she squeezed the sides of the dress together, and placed the hairpin over it.

"Will it hold?" I asked as she let go.

"Not for long, but I might have a safety pin in my room. Come on," she answered me, and I followed her to her room. She searched for a moment, but found one. It really held the dress together better, and hopefully it wouldn't break during the ceremony.

"Thank you," I told her, and gave her a hug before I walked back to Mel, and she returned to the game rom.

She was fully dressed, and god did she look amazing.

"Wow Mel," I breathed, and she turned to look at me. She could see that I was close to tears, and looked at me all smile.

"Stop that, or I will cry too," she said, and I walked up to her and gave her a hug.

I couldn't really help it, and a tear leaked over.

She was beautiful, and she was getting married, and I was pregnant and these stupid hormones were getting on my nerves. They always betrayed me.

"I can't help it, you're stunning."

"You too Wanda," she smiled and leaned out of my hug.

I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand, and saw Mel doing the same.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked me, and I nodded.

"It's kind of personal," she added, and I raised one of my eyebrows.

"We shared a mind, Mel. Nothing is more personal than that," I chuckled, and she laughed with me and then sighed. I was curious, and wanted to know the question.

"I know how you felt about the last pregnancy, and everything, and I guess I'm just wondering if... if she was planned?" That's what she wanted to know? I smiled at her.

"Yes. No. I don't know," I laughed, and she looked at me confused. I explained the best I could.

"She wasn't really _planned_, but we stopped using contraceptive a few weeks before I got pregnant. We talked about it, and we decided to stop using it and let whatever happened happen. The first pregnancy really made us realize how much we wanted to be parents," while I talked I placed my hand on my stomach, and felt a soft kick from the inside. "Why are you wondering?"

"I don't know, I guess I've been thinking about it for a while. Everytime I see you, you're wearing a smile. You always look so happy, Wanda, and I'm happy _for_ you. I'm proud of you, and I admire you," she told me, and her words moved me. I was already so emotional today, and her words made a few more tears leak over.

"You want to know a secret?" I asked her, and she smiled at me. "I'm proud of you too, Mel. And I admire you, and you look happy when I see you as well. Two years ago, who would have thought that you and I would be living our own lives in our own bodies? Who would have thought that your name would be Melanie _Howe _by the end of today? It certenly wasn't you and me," I grinned and she gave me a hug.

"No, we were busy hating each other," she laughed and leaned out.

"I think it's time," I said, and she took a deep breath. I could really see that she was nervous about this, but she didn't have to be.

"Just give me a second," she said, and I turned around to leave.

"Mel, you don't need to be nervous. After today, you're going to feel stupid for being nervous. I know I am," I told her and then left the room.

I tried to not think about the dress when I walked to the game room, and almost managed to do so.

But the broken zipper came into mind once or twice.

Hopefully it wouldn't break more, and the dress wouldn't fall off me.

I found Jeb and Jamie outside the game room, and I walked up to them.

"She'll be here soon," I said, and they both nodded before they walked into the room.

A few seconds later I saw Mel round the corner, holding the dress up so that she wouldn't walk on it.

She still looked just as nervous, and I smiled when I saw her.

"Are you ready to become a wife?" I asked, and she shoot me a glare. I knew I wasn't really helping her nervousness to disappear.

"Count to ten," I said, and was about to start walking but she stopped me.

"Wanda, please," she said, and reached her hand out. She was shaking, that's how nervous she was. I knew she had never really handled nervousness well, but I had only experienced it in her memories.

"Okay, we'll do this together," I told her and took her hand. She took a deep breath, and then we started to walk.

It reminded me very much of our wedding. Everyone stood on both sides of the game room, leaving a path to walk on. All the lights were placed in the room, so that it would be as light as possible.

The only real difference was the people standing in the front.

Instead of Doc, there stood Jeb. Instead of Kyle as the best man, Jamie was in his place. And of course, instead of Ian was Jared.

"Mel, relax," I whispered to her and let go of her hand as I took my place as the brides maid.

Becasue of my stupid hormones, silent tears ran down my cheek during the cermony. Especially when they kissed each other.

Mel was _married_ now.

My best friend, my sister. Married, to the love of her life.

It's really strange how something good can come out of something bad.

If we never took their planet from them, Mel and Jared wouldn't have met. They wouldn't have fallen in love, and they wouldn't be standing there kissing each other right now.

I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand as Ian snaked his arms around my waist when the cermony was over. He placed a kiss in the crook of my neck, and then told me I was beautiful.

I turned around in his embrace so that I could look at him.

"Well, thank you," I answered him, and met his lips as they pressed gently against mine.

"I have to go change," I said, as our lips broke apart a few seconds later.

"Why? You look perfect in this dress," he answered me, and I smiled.

"Because a safety pin is holding it up," I answered him, pressed another kiss on his lips and then left.

I tried to hurry as much as I could, and when I left our room I was wearing a pair of dark jeans and a little looser fitting long sleeved shirt. I couldn't wear my tight fitting shirts anymore, because they were getting too small.

As I reached the game room again, I noticed Mel and Jared sitting together by one of the walls in the room. I wanted to talk to her, but I would give her some private time with Jared.

Jeb, Jamie, Doc, Kyle, Jodi and Amanda were standing not too far away from me, but I didn't see Ian anywhere.

"I see you changed the dress," I heard Trudy say from behind me, and I turned around and found her carrying some of the food coming from the kitchen. Behind her I saw Andy, Geoffery and Aaron with food as well. Ian came last, with water to drink for all of us.

"Yeah, I didn't want to take the risk," I answered her, and we both laughed.

"I couldn't help but notice you were crying up there," Trudy smiled at me, and I smiled back.

"I know how she's feeling, and these hormones are driving me crazy," I chuckled, and then we both heard Kyle asking where all the food was.

"Better go with this," she said, pointing at the food, and then left before I had the time to ask if she wanted any help.

As soon as Ian had left the water, he came up to me and snaked his arms around my waist from behind. I leaned back against his chest, and sighed.

"It makes you wonder," I whispered, and he pressed a kiss on the side of my throat.

"About what?" he asked just as gently.

"If it was faith, or something that brought me here. To this planet, to Mel's body, to _you._ I mean, if I wouldn't have ended up in Mel's body, she wouldn't have led me here. We wouldn't have found Jared, I wouldn't have met you... Mel and Jared wouldn't be married right now, you and I wouldn't be standing here. It makes me feel human, standing here in your arms, feeling our girl kicking..."

"You_ are_ human." I smiled softly.

"Even if it really feels like that, I'm still a soul," I answered him.

"You're _my_ soul," he answered me simply, and I knew what he meant. So I smiled, and turned my head up so that I could look at him. I met his eyes for a second, and then his lips came down on mine. The kiss lasted for a few seconds, before we both let go and our lips broke apart.

I sighed again, and saw that Mel was now standing with Jamie, Jeb and the others. Jared was by her side, with his arm around her waist.

Ian chuckled and took my hand, before he lead me to where I wanted to be.

Mel smiled when she saw me, and took a step away from Jared at the same time I let go of Ian's hand. She met my arms, and wrapped her own around me. I don't know for how long we hugged, but it was for a long time. But when I started to feel the tears burn in my eyes again I leaned away.

"You were right, it was stupid," she smiled, and we laughed.

"I told you so," I answered her, and we hugged for a second time.

When we leaned out, I hugged Jared and told him congratulations and saw Ian doing the same with Mel.

"Thank you for lendning her the dress," Jared told me, and I smiled at him.

"No problem," I answered, and then added a little louder; "Just don't ruin it."

"Don't ruin mine," Mel answered me, her serious expression clearly fake.

"That might be too late," I answered her, and she narrowed her eyes before she chuckled.

"It's okay, I can blame Ian on that one," she said, and the others looked at us confused.

"Wanda ruined my dress," Mel chuckled, and I shoved her slightly.

"And you can blame my brother how?" Kyle asked.

"He's the one who got her knocked up," Mel stated, and now the others laughed with us.

---

The wedding was several hours ago, and midnight was creeping closer. A new year was creeping closer. With probably only about an hour left, Ian and I were still awake. Ian laid on his back, and I was on my side. I found it much more comfortable to lay down on my side, because if I was on my back it would ache after awhile.

Ian had his arms around me, and one of my hands were playing with his hair.

We should probably be asleep already, but none of us was tired. So we talked.

Right now we said nothing, but just a minute ago we had talked about the baby.

I was going into week 22 tomorrow, and had passed half of the pregnancy.

I was really happy to be pregnant, and seeing myself grow. Feeling our baby kick.

But it could also freak me out from time to time. Not often though. But once in a while the thought of raising the baby could pop into my head.

I had no idea of how to do it, and I was terrified of not making a good mom.

My body's instincts – would they take over? What if they didn't?

And raising a baby here, in the caves... I knew it would be hard.

"I probably need to go on a short raid soon," I mumbled to Ian after a moment of silence.

"New clothes?" he asked, and I nodded. I was really out growing almost everything I had, and I really needed new clothes. But I would probably be able to wear the ones I had for another week or so. I told him this.

"You and Sunny can go anytime you want, but isn't it best to do it as soon as possible?" he said, and I laughed. I knew the only reason why he wouldn't follow with me was because he hated shopping.

"I'm a guy – we hate that kind of stuff," he said, understanding why I laughed. I laughed more at his comment, and then got serious.

"Yeah, I guess that's for the best..." I muttered. This time Ian chuckled. I just went from laughing to muttering in a second because of my mood changes. Just as the hormones, I found them irritating. But Ian found then utterly adorable.

But his chuckle faded, knowing why I had the bitter tone in my voice.

If Ian wouldn't follow, he knew who I wanted with me. And she couldn't come, because she had no lenses...

"Don't look like that," he murmured to me, and I almost smiled. When I didn't answer him, I noticed he was thinking about something.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, and he answered me a second later.

"That I have an amazing wife who gave me five boxes with lenses, and I have two more left that I haven't used yet."

I understood where his thoughts were going, so I grinned.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"As long as I don't have to go shopping," he murmured, and I promised him I would fix new lenses to him when Mel and I went shopping. He smiled a lazy smile at me, and then pressed his lips against mine.

"I love you," he whispered against my lips as they broke apart, and then placed a quick kiss on them again.

"I love you too," I answered him, and smiled against his lips in the darkness.

After a moment of more talking, maybe thirty minutes, we went quiet again.

There was nothing to talk about, so my thoughts started to wander.

I thought about today, and then about our wedding day... The one year anniversary of our wedding was coming closer as well, and I would have to give him something. He gave me the necklace for christmas, and I wanted to give him something. But what?

I left that thought, I could think about that later, and started to think aboud Mel and Jared again.

"I wonder what they're doing," I mumbled, not really wanting to know at all.

Ian chuckled, and then answered me.

"Probably what we did on our wedding night," Ian answered me, and together we chuckled. Ian pulled me a little closer. My thoughts wandered off to our wedding night, and Ian's probably did as well. Because when I pressed my lips against his a moment later he kissed me back a little more urgent than the other kisses we had shared tonight.

But it was still soft, as all of our kiss as first. The kiss grew deeper, though, and soon he darted his tounge out and into my mouth. It wasn't comfortable lying like this and kissing, so he rolled us over so that I was on my back instead. He was more careful than ever, now when my stomach was starting to get in the way.

"This is getting harder and harder," I murmured against his lips, and he shifted above me so that it would be more comfortable for us both.

"Then we have to me more inventive in a few weeks," he murmured back, and our lips pressed against each other again.

My hand, already in his hair, gripped it tighter and pulled him a little closer still.

Yes, it was getting harder to do this, but it was still not hard enough to not do it.

I was growing more and more for every day it felt like sometimes, and my stomach would definitely be in the way in a few weeks. So I guess Ian is right, we would have to be more inventive.

But I could still have him close to me, and I would enjoy every second of it.

Both of our breathings were picking up, and we both needed air, so Ian's lips moved from mine for a moment. But as always, they always lingered on my skin...

As his lips came down on mine again, they only did so for a few shorts seconds.

"Happy new year, Wanderer," he whispered to me, and I smiled against his lips, lingering on mine.

"Happy new year, Ian," I answered him, and then our lips met again as we kissed in the new year.


	31. Chapter 31

**Okay, here it finally is. I'm sorry it took me so long, but I was stuck. I had no idea of what to write, and how to express myself. **  
**I'm not 100% happy about this chapter, but I didn't know what else to write. Sorry that it's so short. **

**The next chapter will be the last one, and I have it written down already. But since I wrote it months ago, I have some rewriting to do. **  
**But it will be up in the end of this week. **

As the weeks passed, I grew more and more.

I had to stop working on the fields, and started to work in the kitchen only.

But even that could be hard sometimes.

My back would ache from time to time, but I refused to take the No Pain Doc wanted to give me.

I could handle the pain, and Ian often helped me. On the nights when my back could hurt the most, he would give me a massage. It was just unbelieveble how kind he really was, and how lucky I am to have him in my life.

But there was also days where I had no problems at all, and those were the best days. Even though they all were great.

Doc used to measure me once a week, and he never found something out of the ordinary.

Since it would look suspicius if I went to the hospitals to get some contraceptive, Sunny had taken that job from me. But she had only needed to do it once yet, and that time I had come with her.

Because she wanted me to come, and we were on a raid to get some food and clothes.

I had got clothes for weeks forward, because I didn't want to go on raids every week. We still hadn't got anything for our little girl, but Ian and I would make a raid soon. It wasn't much time left, and the weeks sometimes flew by like days.

For about twelve weeks now my sex drive had been more than usual. But Ian willingly went along with my needs.

We had been right about the fact that it would be harder, but we were inventive and we always managed to find some way that were comfortable for both of us.

Not much changed in the caves, and the days passed like normal.

But of course, there was days when nothing was like normal.

Like our wedding day. Ian had told me he didn't want anything, so I didn't give him anything. Mostly because I found nothing I wanted to give him.

And since Ian hadn't been on a raid, he hadn't had the chance to get me something, which was good.

Because I didn't want anything either.

Ian and I had spent most of the day in our room, and only came out to eat something.

And now another day that would be nothing like normal was coming closer.

It was March, and that meant Jamie's birthday was soon. He was turning sixteen now. And Mel and I were baking him a cake. The only problem was that there was nothing to bake it with, and we didn't know how.

So I went for a short raid, and I had Mel with me. She had gotten herself lenses that time we were out shopping, and now she wanted to use them all the time.

She said she liked looking like a soul, without being a host. And then she had laughed, and pulled me into the mall.

Now, she wore the lenses again, and this time we walked into a store who sold cakes.

We could just tell him we actually baked it. But Mel would be the one to talk.

We decided to give him a chocolate cake, because he had always loved chocolate.

But we got two other cakes as well, since we had a lot of people to feed.

But Jamie would have exclusive right on the chocolate cake.

That was his gift from me and his sister.

"Okay, now we just have to hide them," Mel laughed as we climbed out of the car.

Jared or someone else would have to drive it back, because I couldn't really walk longer distances.

And it already took me forever to walk shorter ones.

Mel took the boxes from me, and walked ahead of me to hide them in the storage until tomorrow. She waited for me there, and laughed when it took me so long to get there.

"It's not my fault I can't walk faster," I muttered, and she laughed again.

It was probably around dinner time, and I was starving. So was Mel.

So we walked straight to the kitchen, where we found a few people. Trudy, Geoffery, Jared, Jamie and Ian included.

Jamie had the hugest grin on his face – already figuring out why we had left.

"What did you get me?" he asked, making the others laugh.

"What are you talking about?" Mel asked, and Jamie narrowed his eyes.

"For my birthday."

"It's not your birthday today," she said simply, and sat down. By the time Jared had given her a kiss and was out of the kitchen, I was sitting down next to Ian.

"I'm not stupid, I know why you went on the raid," Jamie stated, and Mel didn't answer him.

So Jamie looked at me, and asked me what we had got for him. I bit my tongue before I tried to make my words not to sound like a lie.

"Nothing," I said, and everyone laughed, clearly hearing the lie in my voice.

Mel glared at me, and then she too started to laugh.

Ian was close enough to hear my stomach growl, and so he stopped me when I tried to get up.

"I'll get it," he said, and then he rose and walked up to the food.

He came back about a minute later, and I thanked him with a kiss before I started to eat.

That's when I felt it.

A pain in my stomach that reminded me very much of the period pains I could have from time to time. But since I wasn't on my period now, I only had one guess.

Doc had warned me about Braxton hicks contractions, and that it was normal to feel them.

And I was having one right now.

Jamie was first to notice.

"Wanda?" he asked as I bit my tongue, trying not to make a sound.

"Wait a sec," I said, and relaxed as the contraction was over.

As I let out a breath and started to eat again, I noticed that everyone was staring at me with questioning eyes. Especially Mel and Ian. I knew Ian would want to take me to Doc with this, so as I spoke I rose from the table.

"That was a Braxton Hicks contraction." As I said the word contraction most of the eyes popped wide, making me want to laugh. But I didn't.

"What?" Mel asked, ready to get up.

"Sit down, it's okay. A Braxtion Hicks contraction is just a way for the body to get used to... the real thing. Everyone has them, but not everyone feels them," I could see that the people around the tables were calming down, and that's when I looked at Ian. Yep, he would want to go to Doc just to make sure.

"Are you coming?" I asked him, and reached out my hand for him to take. He took it immidiatly, and then we were leaving the kitchen hand in hand.

"Are you..." he started but I cut him off, knowing his question.

"Yes, I'm sure that was a Braxton Hicks."

"Doc said those could be real," he offered, and I nearly rolled my eyes again. Yes, Doc had said that. But I just knew that this wasn't a real contraction. I felt it.

"Which is why we're finding Doc. But I can promise you that it's nothing," I promised him as we walked and he squeezed my hand a little tighter.

We barely had time to look for Doc before we found him.

"Wanda, Ian," Jeb greeted us with a smile, as did Doc. But he saw the anxious expression on Ian's face.

"Did you want something?" he asked, and turned his gaze from Ian to me.

"It's nothing, but..."

"A contraction is nothing?" Ian interuppted me.

"A Braxton Hicks contraction," I corrected him, and I could see Doc's amused look.

"We don't know that, Wanda," Ian said, and then Doc spoke.

"Like Wanda says, it's probably only a Braxton Hicks contraction at this point of the pregnancy, but let's make sure," he said, and started to walk with us after him toward the hospital wing.

It didn't take long for Doc to confirm that it was only Braxton Hicks, and not the real deal.

So Ian and I walked back up to the kitchen again, since I was still hungry.

---

"Okay, there is about ten minutes left before everyone will be coming in here," Mel told me as I took out the last cake from the box. Everything was done. Not that everything was much. It was just the cakes. It was after dinnertime, and everyone but Jamie knew why they were coming.

"I cant believe he's sixteen already," Mel murmured after a while of silence, and I had to agree with her. It was insane that I had been here for almost two years now, and it was insane how big Jamie was. I remembered the smaller Jamie, the baby Jamie, from Mel's memories, and it was hard to believe how big he was now. But in a way, he was still that small Jamie. He was one of the younger in the caves, and he would always be Mel's little brother. _My_ little brother. Because just like I saw Mel as a sister, I saw Jamie as a brother. And I knew he sees me like a sister.

We heard several footsteps, and Mel walked out of the kitchen only to come back a few minutes later with Jamie and the others. She held her hands over his eyes, and I chuckled. It wasn't a big secret what we had got him, and he had probably guessed already. He was smart after all.

But she wouldn't let him see anything.

"Mel, come on," I heard him complain as Ian snaked his arms around me from behind. I leaned my back against him, and sighed.

"Okay, happy birthday," she said and removed her hands.

"Cakes, seriously?" he asked, and I was suddenly worried that he didn't like it. But then he laughed, and I relaxed against Ian again.

"The chocolate one is yours, and the two others are for the rest of us," Mel explained, and I heard some people groan. They wanted the chocolate cake.

And so did I. It wasn't a secret that I had been craving for chocolate for a few months now, and Jamie laughed again as he saw my longing expression.

"I think I'll share it with Wanda," he said, and I gave him a hug.

"Thank you, and happy birthday," I whispered in his ear before I realeased him.

We spent the next few hours in the kitchen, but then people started to get tired and left.

Mel, Jared and Sunny was among them. They and Andy would go on a raid tomorrow, and they would be gone for a few weeks.

"I can't believe we're going now," Mel came up to me and said. I knew what she meant.

"But you'll be back in about three weeks, and it's a month left. You'll be back in time," I promised her. She would be here when I got the baby, I just knew it.

"You better be right about that," she said, and gave me a hug. This was the last time I would see her in a few weeks so...

"See you in a few weeks then," she said, and gave Jamie a hug as well.

"Bye," Jamie, Ian and I said together and then we watched them leave to get some sleep.

Ian and I walked back to our room about an hour later, and it took me forever to get there. But Ian didn't complain over my pace, and he was the only who slowed it down more. I knew he wanted me to be relaxed, and not stress me up. So we walked slowly, hand in hand.

But I had a hard time sleeping that night, and actually I couldn't sleep at all.

I heard Ian's deep, even breaths from behind me and knew he was fast asleep. I didn't want to wake him up, so I didn't. Instead I decided to go for a walk.

I walked for a while and ended up in the hospital wing where I sat myself on one of the cots.

I couldn't believe that there was only a month left, and of course I was happy. But I was also worried and terrified. How was we supposed to raise a child in here? Had we made the wrong decison to stop with the pills? Maybe the miscarriage was a sign that we weren't ready yet, and that we shouldn't have kids. Not now when the world looked the way it did.

God, I wanted this so bad, but I was also so scared and I had no idea if I would be able to handle it. I had no idea if I would be a good mother. As a soul, a mother is the last thing you were. But here on Earth, motherhood gave a big responsibility.

Suddenly I felt two arms around me, and then I heard Ian's voice.

"I thought I might find you here," he whispered, and I sighed.

And I told him about all my fears and all my thoughts. Everything that was going on inside my head that second. And he listened without saying something. When I had been quiet for a while he spoke.

"I'm probably more terrified than you are, baby. But we don't have to be. And we can do this, I know we can. And the miscarriage wasn't a sign, it was just a coincidence. If it were a sign, don't you think it would have happened again? I know you're scared, but that's just the nerves talking. That's the nervousness and all the other emotions you're feeling right now. It's a part of the pregnancy. Of course you feel like you do, and that will only make you a better mother to our daughter."

"How do you know?"

"I don't know, I just do. I can feel it."

Ian's words made it easier for me to think, and most of the fears ran away. I didn't know if they would come back, but now that they were gone I was confident again. We could do this and we would be ready. We just had to.

"I love you," I whispered and felt him pressing a kiss on the side of my throat.

"I love you, too. Now c'mon, let's sleep," he said, and together we walked back into our room where we fell asleep not long after we had laid down.

---

It was just a week left now until our daughter would come, and now all the fears were really gone. I wasn't even nervous anymore. Just a little bit.

Now all I wanted was to hold our daughter, and I couldn't wait to have this stomach gone. I could barely see where I was going, and that wasn't really the best thing around here.

No one let me do anything any more, not even my own body. I couldn't even cook anymore, because I got tired from doing the smallest things.

So all I did in the days was to sit in the kitchen and be company for the one's who worked in there. Even though it was boring not to do anything, we always had fun talking.

Ian and I had discussed some names, but we had still no idea of what we actually wanted her to be named. All we had were ideas, and we would decide when she was actually here and we could see her and told her and kiss her.

Mel and the others would be back soon, probably tomorrow night and I couldn't wait to see her.

I knew Mel, and she would probably have somethings for the baby with her back here. Even though I had told her we already have everything – Ian and I had made a raid about a month ago to get everything – she insisted on getting something.

But our room were already full. There was the crib, and the clothes, and like tons of diapers. We really had everything, and we didn't need anything else. But I would accept whatever Mel brought with her. She was the baby's aunt after all.

Right now we were in the kitchen, eating dinner. Our table wasn't emptier even thought Mel and Jared were gone. Their places were replaced with Kyle, Jodi and Amanda.

Ian had his hand on my knee, and one of my arms were around his waist and my hand was caressing his side just the way his hand was caressing my knee.

It was strange, but sometimes it seemed like it was the people around us that were more nervous about this baby then we were.

"So, you nervous?" Jodi asked over the table.

"Of course, but not that much. I'm more excited," I answered her, and smiled. I saw Doc behind her, and smiled more. I knew he was thankful for the fact that I'm trusted him to deliver my baby. But he too was nervous, I think we all were. Even Kyle. In a week, he would be an uncle. That's more than he had ever expected.

"Is there any difference now than a month ago?" Amanda asked me, and I smiled at her instead while I bit my lip. Of course I felt different.

"Well, first of all I feel like a walking bomb, and have been for about a week now. I can really feel that it's getting closer, and I feel it more and more for every day. I've also had this feeling all day long that she want's go get out, but I think I think it's going to be another week or more until we get to see her."

"Don't be so sure," Trudy said, overhearing our conversation.

I felt a kick as she said so, and so I smiled and sighed. God, I really wanted to meet her.

Both Ian and I answered more questions during the dinner, and we sat in the kitchen almost the enitire night just talking to people. About everything.

But it got late and everyone started to go to bed, and so did we.

I wasn't really tired, but I knew I would be as soon as I would lie down and relax.

"Love you," Ian whispered before he placed a kiss on my lips and then we both relaxed.

I felt Ian fall asleep next to me, and I wasn't far behind. But I never fully fell asleep.

Because right before I did, I felt it. And it was for real this time. It wasn't a Braxton hicks contraction, it was the real deal. Just like I had felt it when it was a braxton hicks, I felt it now.

I tried to take deep breaths, and eventually the pain ended. But it would come back.

"Ian," I said, but I didn't get a response. "Ian," I said a little louder this time, and reached my hand out to shake him. I hated waking him, but I had to.

"Mmmh?" he mumbled, still asleep.

"Ian, it's time," I breathed, and felt him become rigid next to me.


	32. Chapter 32

**I had a great time writing this story, but in a way I'm happy that this is the end. **  
**I just lost my inspiration for this story, and I knew I had to end it. Which is why I'm ending it like this. **  
**I have other stories to focus on, but maybe one day there will come a sequel. Who knows? **  
**I just want to say thank you to all of my readers, and those who have reviewed. You've all helped me with this story, and you're a part of it.**  
**Well, with everything said... Here it is, the last chapter of Seeing through different eyes. **

Everything happened very fast.

The second I had said the words, Ian was on his feet, getting dressed. While he did so, I climbed out of the bed, and rose to my feet.

Ian was all over the place, looking for god knows what.

"Ian," I said, walking up to him and placing my hands on his arms to try to make him relax.

"Calm down," I told him and stared into his eyes. It took a moment, but then he took a deep breath and relaxed. I placed a quick kiss on his lips, and then I put my shoes on. I had the long legged pyjama pants on me, and a oversized t-shirt. And I really didn't care if anyone was awake to see me.

"Do you think Doc is awake?" I asked as I took his hand after he had removed one of the doors.

"We're gonna have to wake him if he's not," Ian answered me, and I sighed. I didn't want to wake him if he were asleep, but we had to.

We were barely out the doors before we saw him though. He was on his way into his room when he noticed us, and walked toward us instead.

"It's time," Ian told him, and Doc looked at me. I knew what he wanted to know.

"Five minutes ago maybe," I told him, and he nodded.

"Do you know how long it was?"

I shook my head; I hadn't even thought about counting the seconds of the contraction.

Doc nodded again, and then told us we should get going.

Since it took so long for me to walk, Ian decided it was best if he lifted me up in his arms and carried me. In a normal situation, I would have told him to let me go and that I could walk by myself.

But this wasn't a normal situation, and I wanted his arms to carry me.

So I didn't argue, and it didn't take us long at all to reach the hospital.

Once we were there, Ian placed me in the hospital bed we had got on the last raid.

It was Doc's idea to get something more comfortable, and I thought it was a great idea. And since it fitted in the van, we got one.

It was for everyone's use, if anyone ever needed to go down here, but I was the first to actually use it.

"How do you feel?" Doc asked me as he searched for something.

"Right now, I feel like normal," I told him. And I did.

As I watched Doc prepare himself, Ian stood beside me, holding my hand.

"Take the chair," I told him simply, and after a while he did.

We had also gotten a chair with two arm rests at the same time we had got the bed, and Ian would be much more comfortable in it than he would be standing up.

"Doc," I said a moment later, when I felt another contraction coming.

He measured how long it was, and then nodded to himself.

I don't know how many hours it took before it was actually _time._

Two, three maybe. The contractions were creeping closer, and they lasted for longer.

And every time Doc measured me, I was more and more dialated.

Ian looked so helpless sitting beside me, holding my hand. He probably thought there was nothing he could do to make me feel better, but he already did it by being there next to me.

"Okay, I think it's time," Doc said, and Ian rose from his chair. Doc had told him to sit behind me because it might help having him there. So he climbed into the bed, and I leaned against his chest.

I was holding both of his hands, and he placed a kiss in my hair.

Doc told me what to do and not to do, and I listened and nodded.

When he told me to push, I pushed. And god, did it hurt. But in a way, this was good pain. This pain meant we would see our daugther soon.

If I hurt Ian when I squeezed his hands so hard he couldn't feel them, he sure didn't complain.

All he did was to whisperer comforting words in my ear, and he told me I was doing great.

And it helped, everything he did. I knew I wouldn't have been able to do this without him.

When I had pushed for what felt like the thousand time, we heard it. Our daughter. She was screaming, and when I looked I saw Doc holding her.

I leaned back against Ian's chest again, and tried to get my breathing down.

And then everything blacked out. I must have been so exhausted so I didn't remember the next hours and I must have fallen asleep eventually.

When I woke up I heard even breaths from beside me. Ian. Other than that, it was quiet.

I didn't know for how long I had been asleep, but I wasn't tired anymore.

But something I was was sore. Not very surprising, and something I had expected to be.

Other than that, I was comfortable on the bed I was on.

I opened my eyes, and noticed that it was still dark in the room. The sun was on it's way up, but it wasn't so light outside so that the room could be light. Not yet, but in an hour or so.

Ian was sitting in the chair next to me, and he hadn't noticed that I was awake.

He looked tired but happy, with a smile on his lips, looking down on our daughter in his arms.

She was asleep, wrapped inside a warm blanket, looking quite comfortable in her fathers arms. Father. I couldn't help but smile. We were parents now. We had a whole new life to take care of. A whole new life to love.

"See, you're a natural," I said, my voice only a whisper. He looked up, surprised to hear my voice.

"It's not very hard to do something wrong when just holding her," he said, and I chuckled.

"Hey," he said then, getting up and placed a small kiss on my lips.

"How are you?" he asked, sitting down again, making sure to be careful. I smiled again.

"Sore, but I wasn't expecting anything else. How long was I asleep?"

"Two hours maybe, not very long."

My eyes left his face and looked at our daugher again. I couldn't see her clearly from here, and I wanted to hold her in my arms. Wanted to feel her.

I didn't have to ask. Ian stood up again, and gently gave her to me.

She was so light, so small. So beautiful. It was like she fitted perfectly in my arms.

Already, she looked like her father. She had his lips, his nose, even his earlobes.

I smiled.

And she had a thin layer of short, black hair on her tiny head.

Her eyes were closed, so I couldn't see the color. But I hoped for sapphire.

She was perfect.

"She's so... small," I whispered in awe.

"She's beautiful, just like her mother."

"Yet she looks like her father," I answered him, smiling more and Ian kissed the top of my head.

"I'd better go get some stuff," he said, and I nodded knowing he meant for her. I didn't want her to freeze.

"Doc, you want something?" he asked then, and that's when I realized Doc was still there.

I thought he was asleep.

"No," I heard Doc say, but I didn't look up. I didn't tear my eyes from the miracle in my arms.

"I'll be right back," Ian said to me, and then I heard his footsteps disappearing.

"How you feeling?" Doc asked me, and I could feel him standing beside me.

"Good," I answered and turned my head to look at him. He looked tired. He hadn't been sleeping any more than Ian had. Which was nothing.

"Doc, you should sleep," I said but he shook his head and took a seat in the chair.

"I'll sleep later."

"What time is it?" I asked, looking down on her again.

"Five, maybe," he answered calmly.

"Have you measured her yet?" I asked, wondering how long she could be. Not long.

"Right before you woke up. She's 47 centimeters, and she weighs about 3000 grams."

No wonder she was so small then.

"Have you and Ian decided on names yet?"

"No. We've come up with a few, but it's not decided yet."

And now when I looked at her, I didn't know what I wanted her name to be.

Her middle name was decided a long time ago, and it was easy. But the first name? No idea.

She started to stir a little bit then, starting to wake up and I smiled again.

"She's probably hungry, you should try to feed her. She didn't eat much the last time," Doc said, and got up from the chair, walking back to his desk to give me some privacy.

She opened her eyes then, not much but enough for me to see them. The exact color of her fathers eyes. She looked at me, her eyes unfocused but still steady. She was so beautiful.

"Hey sweetie," I whispered to her, and she kept looking at me. Making no sound.

"Are you hungry?" I asked, still whispering as pulled up my shirt so that she could eat if she wanted to. Carefully I placed her in position against my breast, and she quickly took it.

It was a strange feeling, her eating from me. It tickled at first, but I quickly got used to it.

She didn't eat much, but she ate before she fell asleep again, this time with her small mouth around my breast. Just as she fell asleep Ian came back, placing clothes and a small diaper on the bed next to me. He had also brought a pair of sweatpants for me, knowing I would want them, and placed them on the top.

"She's eating?" he asked, as he sat down again.

"She did, but she just fell asleep again," I said, as I moved her and pulled down my shirt again.

"Can you take her for a second?" I asked, and Ian gently took her. I took my sweatpants and pulled them on, and sat indian style on the bed, leaning against the upper part of the bed that was positioned so that I could sit instead of lying down.

Without having to ask, Ian gave her back to me and I carefully laid her on the bed. I reached for the diaper and the clothes, and for some reason I knew exactly what to do.

The diaper was a little bit to big on her, but other than that it fitted. And the clothes were perfect.

I wrapped her loosly in the blanket again, and placed her in my arms.

Ian were watching me the entire time, with awe, pride and love in his eyes.

"What?" I asked as I leaned back, and he shook his head.

"Nothing, it's just... You're amazing, Wanda," he said, and I could feel my eyes getting moist.

But I didn't want to cry.

"You should sleep," I said instead.

"I'm not tired," he answered me, but he lied. I could see it, and I could hear it in his voice.

He hadn't been sleeping for almost twenty four hours, and he needed to sleep.

"Liar," I said, looking at him. I sighed, and answered the question so clearly written in his eyes.

"I'll be fine. Sleep."

He was about to close his eyes but I gave him a look that clearly said 'not in the chair', so he sighed and moved one of the cots so it was next to my bed, and lay down on it.

It didn't take long before he fell asleep, and I smiled.

---

I had moved so that I was sitting in the chair, my legs crossed and my daughter in my arms.

Doc and I had been talking for almost an hour, and I had given her some more food when she woke up again. She ate more than the last time but she quickly fell asleep again. I could feel that I was beginnig to get tired again, but I didn't want to wake Ian. I could sleep when he woke up.

Besides, I wanted to spend time with my daughter.

Doc had been close to sleep, too, but he hadn't fallen asleep just yet. But it was close where he was sitting at his desk, forcing his eyes to stay open.

I had told him to sleep several times, but he said no every time. So I stopped telling him.

It was probably after breakfast now, and the hospital was light from the spring sun.

They were going to start working soon, and I was surprised no one had come down to the hospital yet. There was no way they could now about the miracle in my arms, but wouldn't they be looking for Doc? He was always eating breakfast with them, and Sharon should be looking for him since he didn't come to bed last night. And Jeb was probably wondering why he was one man short...

"Hey, Doc...-" I heard Kyle saying loudly but I cut him off. I didn't want him to wake somebody up.

"Shhh. You'll wake your brother... or your niece," I said, and Kyle's steps frozed for a second before he started walking again. I smiled, knowing I had surprised him but I didn't look up at him, even though I knew he was standing beside me now. Looking at us. He didn't say anything, and it was quiet for at least a minute.

"Kyle, did you want something?" Doc's voice asked from behind.

"Eh, Jeb wanted to talk to you, and Sharon is pissed about the fact that you didn't come to bed last night. Although, I understand why..." Kyle said, his voice both happy and surprised. Shocked.

I heard Doc sigh, and then he started to walk, his foots shuffling.

"Better go talk to both of them... Wanda, you want something?"

"Maybe some food and water, please. But I can just ask Ian when he wakes up..." I said, looking at the doctor.

"No, let him sleep. I'll take care of it," he spoke, a small but tired smile on his lips.

"Eustace, please sleep," I said right before he left, and I heard him mumbling something in response.

Hopefully he would do what I told him to do.

"Rough night?" Kyle asked, looking down on me and then at his brother, sleeping.

"I guess you can say that," I said, smiling to him.

"How... how old is she?" he asked, sitting down on the bed, looking at his niece sleeping in my arms.

A smile played on his lips.

"What time is it?" I had to ask to answer his question.

"Hm, eight I think..."

"About four hours then."

"You know, we've been wondering where you've been, but no one thought of this," he said, smiling wider. I looked at him, and couldn't help but to smile back. I could see that he was happy about having a niece, a new member of the family. He was almost glowing.

"You wanna hold her?" I asked, and his eyes met mine. He looked... scared?

"But she's so small. I don't want to break her..." I smiled at this vulnerable side of Kyle.

It wasn't something you saw often.

"You won't break her," I promised, and carefully stood up and gave her to him.

She looked even smaller in the big arms of Kyle, but he held her so carefully I couldn't help but smile warmly at the sight. I had never seen him so careful before. He was so cautious, holding her.

As I sat down again, he sat still, staring at the baby in his arms.

"Wow... She's a real beauty," he said, his voice almost a whisper.

He didn't say anything else, and neither did I. We both sat still, looking on the baby in his arms.

"I should probably go," he said after a while, giving her back to me. He didn't met my eyes, and when I saw them I understood why. They were glassy, and it was hard to understand that he was close to tears. I knew Ian wouldn't believe me if I told him. But it was nice to see this side of Kyle, a side that reminded me so much of his younger brother.

"I can tell people not to come down here, if you want to be alone. The word is probably going around, now when Doc has talked to Jeb," he said, and I nodded my head.

"Thank you," I told him. I would be nice to have some alone time.

"See you later then. Now, take good care of her," he said, and I nodded.

"Thank you, Kyle. Bye."

"Bye," he said, and then we were alone again.

"That was your uncle Kyle," I whispered to her, sleeping so peacefully. "And that was probably the only time you'll see him cry," I laughed quietly.

I thought about the names Ian and I had gone through a few weeks ago.

Samantha, Anna, Kayla, Morgan, Layla, Chloe, Jessica and Zoey.

Eight different names. What name would fit her the best?

I whispered every name quietly, listening to the sound of it.

When I whispered the name Chloe, it twiched a bit in the corner of her mouth.

I knew it wasn't a smile, she was too young to smile, but I still wanted to think of it as one.

"Chloe," I tried the name out loud again, and I liked the sound of it.

"Chloe O'Shea, is that you're name?" I whispered, smiling softly.

"I like it. But we should probably talk to you dad about it," I said, glancing at Ian, still asleep on the cot. Chloe had been his favorite of all the names, and I doubted it was different now.

I saw Ian beginning to stir about twenty minutes later, and a moment later he woke up.

"Hey," he said in a quiet voice as he sat down on the bed.

"Hey," I answered him, and leaned forward to kiss him. It wasn't that long between the chair and the bed, only an inch, so I could still sit as I did so.

I could see that he was still tired, but not as much as before.

"Did I wake you?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"I was thinking about names," I murmured and looked into his eyes.

"What do you think?" he asked, and I pursed my lips.

"I like the name Chloe," I told him, and saw him smiling as he looked down at her.

"She does look like a Chloe," he murmured, and I smiled. So she had a name.

I didn't have time to answer him before we both hears footsteps running toward the hospital.

Ian and I looked at each other, both of us wondering who it might be. Didn't Kyle say that he wouldn't tell everyone not to come down here?

I turned my head and saw Mel coming into the hospital, her steps slowing down. So they were back from the raid. I had almost forgot about her, so sucked up into this moment.

"Hey you three," she whispered, tears in her eyes.

"Hey Mel," I said, smiling at her expression. She looked like she had been running.

"I'm gonna leave you alone," Ian said and got up from the bed. Mel gave him a quick hug before he left.

"Kyle just told me. They're probably pissed about the fact that I left them unpacking alone," she laughed, and I glared at her.

"Mel..." I was about to protest, but she stopped me.

"I had to see if it was true, right?" she said, using her puppy eyes on me. I stopped glaring, and looked at _Chloe _again.

"Can I hold her?" she asked, about to cry again, and she didn't have to ask twice.

We switched places, Mel taking my seat in the chair and I sat down on the bed.

"She is adorable," she whispered as I ate, looking at them. Also Mel was careful, holding her niece in her arms.

"When did it start?" she asked after awhile of silence, and I had to think.

"Right after we had gone to bed. I didn't even had the chance to go to sleep. Maybe around eleven last night."

"And she's born..?" she asked, looking up at me.

"Around three-thirty, maybe." Mel only nodded, and looked down on the baby in her arms.

"What's her name?" she murmured, and I smiled.

"Chloe," I told her, and saw her smiling.

"Chloe O'Shea. It's perfect."

"Actually, it's Chloe _Melanie_ O'Shea."

"Really?" she asked, and it looked like she was about to cry again.

"Mel, you're the reason I'm here. I have you to thank for everything, and this is the only way I know how to do it in," I whispered, speaking nothing but the truth.

Melanie really was the reason I was here today. The reason I was able to hold my daugher in my arms.

If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have come to this caves. I wouldn't have met Ian. I wouldn't have given myself up to save her and they wouldn't have got me a new body, so that I could be _myself._

I really had her to thank for everything, and that's why it had been so easy to chose Melanie as Chloe's middlename.

"And I promised myself I wouldn't cry more today," she said, tears rolling down her cheeks, and we laughed together.

"Have you been sleeping?" she changed the subject.

"A few hours."

"Then sleep," she told me as she turned her gaze too look at me.

"Mel, you should help the others to unpack."

"I can't," she told me simply.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm babysitting," she told me, and I rolled my eyes.

"Wake me up if she get's hungry."

"I will," she promised, and I relaxed on the bed.

---

When I woke up I heard voices - quiet whispers. But that wasn't what woke me up.

Actually, I don't know what it was. My instincts maybe. It was hard to tell, all I knew was that I was still tired.

I opened my eyes, and saw Ian sitting on the bed next to me. He hadn't noticed I was awake, and he was talking with someone.

I turned my head against the whispered voices and found Jamie, Jared, Jodi, Kyle and Amanda gathered around the chair Mel was sitting in, holding my daughter who was now awake.

"I thought you said you'd wake me up," I said, looking at Mel who looked at me when I spoke.

"She's not hungry," she said, but just then she started to whimper in Mel arms.

"Well, at least she _wasn't_," Mel said, standing up and placed her in my waiting arms.

"Can you give me that blanket?" I asked her, poiting at the blanket hanging over the arm rest on the chair. Jared reached for it and gave it to me before Mel had the time.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked, as I placed her in the right position, hidden under the blanket resting on my shoulder. I wouldn't of cared if it was just the girls and Ian, but I really didn't feel like showing Jared, Jamie and Kyle my breasts. They looked away anyway.

"I don't know, an hour," Mel mumbled, looking at me.

It felt strange they way everyone looked at me, so I looked down on the small miracle in my arms.

"Wanda, I know I've told you this, but you really are going to be a wonderful mom. I've seen you with her for what? Five minutes, and you're already there."

"Thank you, Mel," I said. I knew that when the day comes, she'll be one, too.

I've seen her with Jamie, and it was amazing to see the love she had for him.

I knew her day was going to come. They had taken it a step longer and got married, and I knew Mel had always wished for kids. And if Ian and I could do it, so could they.

It was quiet for a moment as she ate, all looking at us making me feel uncomfortable again.

"Can I hold her?" Jamie asked then, and I nodded. I gently gave Chloe to Jamie, who held her just as carefully as everyone else had. She still looked small, even in Jamie's arms.

"She's so cute..." he started, but quickly changed his mind when she threw up on him.

"Ugh, gross," he said, and I chuckled along with Ian and Mel.

"Get used to it," Mel said, and Jamie gave her Chloe so that he could wipe it off with something.

Ian reached his hand to me, and I took it, smiling.

"So, how does it feel? You have a family now. A whole other life to take care of," Amanda asked, giving me Chloe after she had held her. She was about to fall asleep again, and I smiled as I answered Amanda's question.

"It feels just like I dreamed it would," I said truthfully. It really was.

"You should all go, get to work," I said a moment later, and I saw them nodding. They could all understand that we wanted to be alone.

"I'll see you later," Mel said and then they all left, leaving me and my little family alone.

Ian moved so that he was beside me instead, and I made room for him.

He fitted easily, since the bed was so big, and I leaned my head against his shoulder.

He wrapped his arms around both me and Chloe, holding us lovingly.

I tilted my head up so that I could look at him.

"I love you," he whispered, and I felt myself smiling.

"We love you, too," I whispered back and then his lips came down on mine.

I knew that we could do this. We could be the parents we wanted to be, and Chloe would grow up being loved.

I knew it would be hard to raise her here, but we could do it. Together we could do anything.


End file.
